Dental plan!

krudler

Ok Homer, this is a new fat test, I start you jiggling, then time how long it takes to stop
*taps Homers stomach and the fat starts jiggling, for a while*
Woohoo! look at that blubber fly!
Nurse cancel my 1 o'clock...

allanb49

Just saw this on adverts and had to post it!

http://www.adverts.ie/294895/free-stuff/small-trampoline/

Risteard

allanb49 wrote: »

Just saw this on adverts and had to post it!

http://www.adverts.ie/294895/free-stuff/small-trampoline/

Tramapoline! Trampopoline!

derfderf

I'll kill that mr burns and, eh, wound that mr smithers.

Busi_Girl08

"Hey, profcreamy, I came to give you back your trampo-"
*cocks gun*
"You just keep right on drivin'"

GarH

Mafia Guy: Johnny Tight Lips where’d they hit ya?
Johnny Tight Lips: I ain’t sayin’ nothin’.
Mafia Guy: Then what do I tell the doctor?
Johnny Tight Lips: Tell him to suck a lemon.

Wossack

McBane to base, Im under attack by Comi-Nazi's
*back end of plane explodes*
Gah! They won't stop me from delivering these UNICEF pennies!
Go, pennies! Help the puny children who need you!

Daith

B.T. Barlow: Mr. Mayor, I have a question for you.....what if YOU came home one night to find your family tied up and gagged, with SOCKS in their mouths. They're screaming. You’re trying to get in but there's too much BLOOD on the knob!!!!!

Quimby: What is your question about?

B.T. Barlow: It's about the budget sir.

Sgt Hartman

Smithers: "Mr Burns is dead. Oh why do the good always die so young?" (sobs)

pixelburp

"It's Kurns, stupid!"

the purple tin

-Milhouse has cooties
-They're not cooties, they're called lice and my mom says they're nothing to be ashamed of.

krudler

pixelburp wrote: »

"It's Kurns, stupid!"

Oooh, read him card good!

Homer no function beer well without


Nananana leader!
nananana leader!
leader!
BATMAN!

Daith

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

Ush1

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"

Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

Ush1

Mr. Burns: I'll be taking my puppies back.
Lisa: But they're ours, you stole them from us!
Mr. Burns hands her a cell phone: Here's a phone. Call somebody who cares.
Lisa dials 9-1—
Mr. Burns: Give me that!

KnifeWRENCH

Out wit ze old, in vit ze nucleus.

Sam Vimes

Guy N. Cognito: Hello! My name is Guy N. Cognito.
Moe: Get out of here, Homer!
Guy N. Cognito: Homer? Who is Homer?
[sound of Guy N. Cognito getting beaten up and thrown unconscious into the street]
Homer: [walking along despondent until he stumbles onto Guy N. Cognito] Oh, my God, this man is my exact double!
[a small, puffy-tailed dog walks by]
Homer: That dog has a puffy tail!
[Homer leaves Guy and starts pursuing the dog]
Homer: Here, puff!

St._Andalou

Well if it isn't my old friend Mr. McClegg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.

Tom Slick

"You got a restroom in that thing?"

"No! Only Khlav Kalash!"

Ush1

Homer: Uh... you have any sugar around here?

Hank Scorpio: Sugar? Sure. I]fumbles in his pockets, takes out a few handfuls [/I][I]of sugar[/I There you go. Sorry it's not in packages. Want some cream?

Homer: Uh... I... no.

Sam Vimes

Some Dr. Nick:

Your son is a very sick boy. Just look at these x-rays. You see that dark spot there? Whiplash. And this smudge here that looks like my fingerprint...no, that's trauma!

Seriously baby, I can prescribe anything.

Now, if something should go wrong, let's not get the law involved. One hand washes the other. Hey, that reminds me. (proceeds to wash hands)

Eww, blood

The knee bone's connected to the...something. The something's connected to the...red thing. The red thing's connected to my...wrist watch. Uh oh.

One, two, three...Out like a light. Oops, maybe if I fiddle with these knobs. Hey, I smell gas. Pleasant gas. Night night gas. (collapses)

Okay...that was a little strange. When you were in that coma, did you feel your brain being damaged?

Holy smokes, you need booze!

Sir, calm down, you're going to give yourself skin failure. The symptoms you describe lead me to believe that you are suffering from bonus eruptus, a rare disorder in which the skeleton tries to jump out of the skin. The only way to stop it is through transdental electromicide. I'll need a golf cart motor and a thousand volt capacimator, stat.

Don't worry, you won't feel a thing....till I jam this down your throat!

The gloves came free with my toilet brush.

If you want to have an exclusive surgery with me, Dr. Nick Riviera, dial 1-800-DOCTORB. The extra B is for BARGAIN

Man: "Among the 160 gravest charges are: performing major operations with a knife and fork from a seafood restaurant."
Dr. Nick: "But I cleaned them with my napkin."
Man: "Misuse of cadavers."
Dr. Nick: "I get here earlier if I use the carpool lane."


Nick: "Now there are many options available for dangerously underweighted individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology."
Homer: "Of course."
Nick: "You'll want to focus on the neglected food groups such as the whipped group, the congealed group and the chocotastic!"
Homer: "What can I do to speed the whole thing up, Doctor?"
Nick: "Well...be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use pop tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon, ..."
Bart: "You could brush your teeth with milkshakes!"
Nick: "Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too? And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain.

Wossack

Inflammable means flammable? What a country!

Sgt Hartman

Lisa in Dr. Nick's surgery: "Can I please go ahead of you Mr. Smithers? It's an emergency!"

Smithers stood in a very stiff manner: "Sorry Lisa but...I'd really rather get this checked out"

Ush1

Burns: Oh, you all talk big. But who here has the guts to stop me? I]camera pans across still audience[/I Mm hm. Very well. One last question: have you ever seen the sun set...at three p.m.?

Fisherman: Aye, once. When I was sailing 'round the arctic --

Burns: Shut up, you!

talla10

Lionel Hutz; And after you were thrown out of the restaurant what did you do?

Marge; We..eh..pretty much went home

Lionel Hutz; Mrs Simpson may i remind you your under oath?

Marge; We drove around all night looking for another all you can eat seafood restaurant.

Lionel Hutz; And when you couldn't find one?

Marge (Crying) ; We went fishing!!

Lionel Hutz (to Jury); Do these sound like the actions of a man who had 'all he could eat?

Susie_Q

Homer: Let me set the record straight... I thought the cop was a prostitute!

Busi_Girl08

"I shock the Sheriff!
But I did not shoot the deputee"
(She didn't do it! She didn't do it!)
"So if you see a Sheriff...
Shoot him..."
*GASP*
"A smile!!"

krudler

tv: Its 11 o'clock, do you know where your children are?
Homer: I told you last night no!

GLaDOS

krudler wrote: »

tv: Its 11 o'clock, do you know where your children are?
Homer: I told you last night no!

Where is Bart anyway? His dinner's getting all cold and eaten.

krudler

Marge do you take Homer in richness and poorness? poorness is underlined..
In impotence and in potence.
In quiet solitude or blasting across the alkali flats in a jet powered, monkey navigated...
And it goes on like this...