Dental plan!

mfdc

sensibleken wrote: »

Just once I want someone to call me sir without adding 'youre making a scene'

Good evening sir, would you please leave without a fuss? Right now?

sensibleken

Homer: I need help…oh, God, help me. Help me, God!!!
*phone rings*
Caller: Homer, this is God.....frey Jones from the magazine show 'rock Bottom'

donovanu

Homer: OK hotshots! Now that my daughter's on your team I wanna make a few things clear...I don't want anybody to give her a hard time just because she's different. No jokes, no taunting..........LOOK THAT KID'S GOT BOSOMS!! Who's got a wet towel?? Come here ya butterball!!
Uter: Don't make me run! I'm full of chocolate!

Sam Vimes

We take eighteen ounces of sizzling ground beef, and soak it in rich, creamery butter, then we top it off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg. We call it the Good Morning Burger,

We start with pure milk chocolate...(homer)chocolate...
Add a layer of farm-fresh honey...
Then we sprinkle on four kinds of sugar...
And dip it in rich, creamery butter...ughghughgughg.

Lisa: Dad, what if I told you you could lose weight without dieting or lifting a finger?

Homer: I'd say you're a lying scumbag!

Lisa: According to eternity magazine, you can lose weight through subliminal learning. That's where an idea is subtly implanted in your head without you even knowing it.

Homer: Oh Lisa that's a load of rich creamery butter.

Sam Vimes

Ralph: Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a viking

Lizard Queen

Homer: Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back...unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog.
Bart: You're right
Homer: Rats, I almost had him eating dog food

Hank_Jones

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain.
Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Marge: That's because you were drunk!

Homer: And how.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSO1LmWj0uc

Hank_Jones

I]the Red Hot Chili Peppers walk into Moe's bar in their underwear[/I
Anthony Kiedis: What's up, Moe.
Flea: HEY MOE!
Moe Szyslak: Hey! You guys can't come in here dressed like that!
Dr. Julius Hibbert: I]In his underwear[/I Get with the time, Moe.
Chief Wiggum: I]In his underwear[/I Yeah, I say if it feels good, do it.
Dr. Julius Hibbert: Alright.
I]stretches Wiggum's underwear and snaps him with them - laughs histerically[/I
Chief Wiggum: Don't snap my undies.


I]Krusty is trying to talk Sideshow Mel into quitting his job a fast-food joint[/I
Krusty the Clown: But you gotta come back, Mel! We're a team!
Sideshow Mel: No, Krusty, you always treated me rather shabbily. On our last show, you poured liquid nitrogen down my pants, and cracked my buttocks with a hammer!
Krusty the Clown: Ah, come on. You wanna spend your life hanging out with a bunch of dorky teenagers?
Squeeky-Voiced Teen: Here's your taco, Mister. Whoops. It fell in the fryer. I'll get it out. Ow! Ow! Ow-w-w! Ow-w-w!
Sideshow Mel: Sorry Krusty, I like it here. Mr. Johansen treats me with dignity.
Mr. Johansen: Is this clown bothering you, Mel?
Sideshow Mel: It's all right, Mr. Johansen, I'll handle it.
Squeeky-Voiced Teen: Here's your taco, sir.
Krusty the Clown: I don't want it!
Squeeky-Voiced Teen: But this comes out of my salary! If I had a girlfriend, she'd kill me.


What a great thread.

Hurricane-Dean

Eddie : Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
Moe : No
*BUZZZ*
Moe: Alright Maybe I did but I didn't shoot him
*DING*
Eddie:Checks out, ok sir you're free to go
Moe: Good cause I got a hot date tonight
*BUZZZ*
Moe: A date
*BUZZZ*
Moe: Dinner with friend
*BUZZZ*
Moe: Dinner alone
*BUZZZ*
Moe:Watching TV alone
*BUZZZ*
Moe:ALRIGHT! I'm gonna sit at home and oggle the ladies in the Victoria secret catalog
*BUZZZ*
Moe:Sears catalog
*DING*
Moe:Now would you un-hook this already please! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment
*BUZZZ*

Foxhound38

Homer: I know one thing that Kent Brockman guy can't afford!
Lisa: What's that?
Homer: ... A Dinosaur!
_______________

Homer: Hello President Clinton, I figured if anybody knew where I could get some Tang around here, it'd be you... SHUT UP!

im invisible

-Its like, has anyone ever seen that movie 'Tron'?

-No
-No
-No
-No
-No
-No
-No
-No
-Yes, I mean no

Funglegunk

Moe: Hey Homer, way to get Marge pregnant.

Homer: This is getting a little abstract, but thank you, I do like working at the bowling alley.

(Going through a little marathon of watching early Simpsons at the moment, and it's entirely due to this thread! )

Busi_Girl08

Funglegunk wrote: »

Moe: Hey Homer, way to get Marge pregnant.

Homer: This is getting a little abstract, but thank you, I do like working at the bowling alley.

(Going through a little marathon of watching early Simpsons at the moment, and it's entirely due to this thread! )

Marge walks home to a surprise baby shower
Marge - "But Homer will be back any minute.I haven't told him yet!!"
Patty and Selma - "Oh...really?:cool:"
*Door opens....noone there*
Marge - "Phew"
*Homer bursts in*
Homer - "Hi everyone! It's hell out there. What's all this?! It looks like you're showering Marge with gifts...tiny baby sized gifts....Well! I'll be in the tub"
Maude - "Oh by the way, congratulations on the new job, Homer"
Homer - "New job....MARGE IS PREGNANT AGAIN?!!!"
*Starts screaming, and runs upstairs while tearing the rest of his hair out*

Wompa1

"Whoa Whoa Whoa, a fat sarcastic Star Trek fan, you must be a dynamo with the ladies!"

Same guy after trying to sell Homer a dog instead of a pony telling him to go to the ranch

"Simply take a left at the rendering plant!"

Wompa1

When Bart lost his soul to Milhouse

Bart: I want my soul, and I want it now!
Homer: Bart! You didn't finish your Spaghetti and Moeballs!
Brain: Quiet you fool! It could be ours!
Homer: Run boy! Run! Run for your life!

Wompa1

Watched a Simpsons DVD with a friend on Saturday before heading out.

The Be Sharps!! Excellent, that entire season was greatness

[the Be Sharps are performing the Statue of Liberty's 100th anniversary 4th of July concert in New York City in 1986]
Homer: This next song is dedicated to a very special lady. She's 100 years old and weighs over 200... tons.
Fan: This enormous lady will devour us all!
[Screams and jumps into the ocean]
Homer: I meant the statue!

George Harrison: Hello, Homer, I'm George Harrison.
Homer: Oh my God! Where did you get that brownie?

Homer: [trying to write a song, Homer is inspired by a "Baby on Board" car sign] Hmmm, Baby on Board. Baby on Board, something something Burt Ward... this thing writes itself!

Additional Voices: Apu, there are rumors that you are a Hindu. Is this true?
Apu: By the many arms of Vishnu, I swear it is a lie.

Bart: How come we haven't heard anything about your second album?
Bart: What did you do, screw up like The Beatles and say you were bigger than Jesus?
Homer: All the time. In fact, that was the title of our second album.

Nigel: [after Apu tells him his full name] Never fit on a marquee, love. From here on, your name is Apu du Beaumarchais.
Apu: It is a great dishonor to my ancestors and my god, but okay.

Apu: [after the Be-Sharps have broken up, Apu goes back to work at the Kwik-E-Mart] Well, it may not pay much, but at least it's good, honest work.
Kwik-E-Mart Customer: How much for this expired carton of milk?
Apu: Twelve dollars!

Barney's Girlfriend: I would like a single plum floating in perfume and served in a man's hat.
Moe Szyslak: Sure.
[serves drink]

Barney: David Crosby? You're my hero.
David Crosby: Oh, you like my music?
Barney: You're a musician?

Barraon

Lenny: White
Carl: Black

KnifeWRENCH

Moe: "Ok, let's go through the plan again. This toy car will represent my car. And this olive is you."

*Homer eats olive*

Homer: "Mmmm....me."
Moe: "Oh great. Now the car is gonna have to be you. And this little toy man will represent the car.......nah, forget it."

sensibleken

Homer singing:
Stealing stealing stealing a car for moe. la la la la la la la insurance fraud today!

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

I want what the dogs eating.

Vicxas

"The man at radio shack said i was mad, but whos mad now!! Mwuahahhaahah!!"

Barraon

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmARGE
lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllisa

talla10

Barraon wrote: »

Lenny: White
Carl: Black

God= Good

Devil= Bad

Foxhound38

Timmy: But I'm scared McGarnicle...
McGarnicle: You've gotta do this one for me Timmy, McGarnicle.
Timmy: Alright, for you... McGarnicle!

(flash forward)

Chief: Well McGarnicle - little Timmy's dead! They slit his throat from ear to ear!
McGarnicle: Hey, I'm TRYING to eat lunch here!

keano_afc

Go nuts. This is a link to every famous quote from every episode. Watch the hours whizz by as you get engrossed in each season.

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/The_Simpsons

Barraon

Barraon wrote: »

Lenny: White
Carl: Black

Loving this photo and for some reason I can't get "Donny Most, Donny Most" from Family Guy out of my head...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ALB_S9qjbY

talla10

Burns; All right team Listen up. At this moment in Springfield hospital there is a little boy who wants you to win more than anything else in the whole world. I know this because i put him there myself to inspire you.

Milhouse; I hope they win otherwise Mr Burns said he'll be back.

m@cc@

Homer wrote:

We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects

.

cianl1

Marge: I'm worried about the kids, Homey. Lisa's becoming very obsessive. This morning I caught her trying to dissect her own raincoat.
Homer: I know. And this perpetual-motion machine she made today is a joke. It just keeps going faster and faster.
Marge: And Bart isn't doing very well either. He needs boundaries and structure. There's something about flying a kite at night that's so unwholesome.
[Looks out window]
Bart: [creepily] Hello, mother dear.
Marge: That's it, we have to get them back to school.
Homer: I'm with you, Marge. Lisa. Get in here... In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!