Dental plan!

foxyboxer

Dr. Foster: (on phone) Yes, Dr. Foster here. … Ned Flanders!? You're sure? … No, no, no, I'll come right over. And may God have mercy on us all. (hangs up) Darling, there's an emergency at the hospital, uh, where are my shoes?

Mrs. Foster: I think they're in the den.

Dr. Foster: The den?!! May God have mercy on us all.

Valentina

Lisa: Mom!

Homer: Whats wrong, Lisa?

Lisa: Well i know its absurd, but i just had a dream that there was a boogie man...

Homer: AHH!!!

[bursts into Bart's room] Bart, I don't want to alarm you, but there may be a boogie man or boogie men in the house!

Bart: Ahhhhhhh!

(Later, Marge walks in, family hiding behind couch, house riddled with bullet holes)

Marge: Whats going on here?

Homer: Oh nothing Marge, just a little incident involving the boogie man!

KnifeWRENCH

And now a message from the Church of Latter Day Saints:
WOOF. WOOF. WOOF. WOOF. WOOF. WOOF.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I63kqpPpsn4

krudler

KnifeWRENCH wrote: »

And now a message from the Church of Latter Day Saints:
WOOF. WOOF. WOOF. WOOF. WOOF. WOOF.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I63kqpPpsn4

that dog can sell anything

Fago!

Classic episode right now, who shot mr burns. Rte 2. NOW!!

Valentina

TV: Need money fast? Got no experience? Step up... to elegance! Become a limo driver at Classy Joe's.

Homer: That's it! I'll make money with a chauffeur job. Good thing you turned on that TV, Lisa.

Lisa: I didn't turn it on, I thought _you_ turned it on.

Homer: No. Well, anyway, turn it off.

Lisa: It _is_ off...

Teddy_Picker

Classic episode, was on earlier

Flanders: Look, I called the police captain in Shelbyville and he says he hasn't seen our kids, but if they show up in the morgue he's gonna fax us.

Bart : Oh, it's no use I'm never gonna find that tree, this whole raid was a useless as that yellow lemon shaped rock over there. Wait a minute, there's a lemon behind that rock, the tree!

Shelbyville man: Get out here boy! There's doin's a-transpirin'!

Skylinehead

Fago! wrote: »

Classic episode right now, who shot mr burns. Rte 2. NOW!!

Quickly followed by....not part 2. :mad:

sensibleken

Shake harder boy!

Riddle101

Bart: Look behind you Radioactive man, the sun is exploding!
Homer: Who are you talking to? Marge, are there other men in this house. Radioactive men?

Galway K9

Director: ok people we only get one shot at this as its real accid

Mcbain: real accid!?!

Director: ok people put your goggles on, and action

Mcbain: my eyes! The goggles do nothing.

the keen edge

Where have you been?.

You've been out galavanting with that floosie of a big brother again.

Haven't you, haven't you?.

SwarfegaHead

"Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?"
"Yeah, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries."

Hank_Jones

Lisa: Bart, I'm here for you, but I'm not going to break into somebody's
house.

Bart: All right, you're right, you're right, let's, let's just forget
about that. Here: let me read to you from my play. Ahem.
"`Kippers for breakfast, Aunt Helga? Is it St. Swithin's Day already?'
`'Tis,' replied Aunt Helga" --

Lisa: I'm going, I'm going!

Voodoomelon

Burn that seat.

krudler

Bart "That can't be Flanders"
Flanders "I'm a murderer, a murder a mur-diddly-er!"
Bart "If thats not Flanders, he's done his homework"

AnonoBoy

"I don't think this is the kind of coat that opens."

krudler

"But Marge! Nightboat! the crime SOLVING boat!"

"Oh every week theres a canal, or an inlet, or a fjord"

SwarfegaHead

I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there's too many fat children

Say Your Number

At the Soccer match
Sideshow Mel: I can't bear this any longer, I'm leaving
Moe: Yeah, not before me you ain't
Flanders: Now, now, there's plenty of exits for everyone
Moe: Oh that's it, you're dead pal!
Skinner: Hey now that's uncalled for
Lenny: Shut your hole Skinner
*Lenny punches Skinner and spills Barney's tray of drinks*
Barney: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Groundskeeper Willie: They call this a Soccer riot, Let's take 'em to school

im invisible

Homer "no TV and no beer make homer, something something"

Marge "...go crazy?"

Homer "dont mind if i do...."

KnifeWRENCH

Grampa: "Me and Frostillicus go back a long way. I used to share a bathroom with Frostillicus. In fact, I got a real funny story about that! Actually, it's not so much funny as it is long....."

Fago!

Gabbo GABBO GABBO!!

Bart: Did you see that?
Homer: Yeah.
Bart: What's gabbo?
Homer: I figure it's some guy's name.......... some guy named Gabbo.

Paparazzo

Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Valentina

Paparazzo wrote: »

Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

That's because you were drunk!

Fago!

ThurstonWhore wrote: »

That's because you were drunk!

aaaand how.

kwestfan08

Lionel Hutz: This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”

Troy McClure: Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!”

Krusty the Clown: And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold.

Aldebaran

Homer: 'Then we figured out we could just park them in front of the TV. That's how I was raised and I turned out TV.'

Valentina

Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!

Rega

Say some gangsta' is dissing your fly girl, you just give him one of these ...