Dental plan!

Lady von Purple

''Where should we dump this toxic waste, sir? In the park?'' ''No, no, Smithers, all those bald children are starting to arouse suspicion.''

Glico Man

Homer: Tom Landry's hat, and it's autographed. "To Berman's Dry Cleaning. Best wishes, Tom Landry."
Bart: Why don't you buy it?
Homer: I can't buy that. Only management-type guys with big salaries like me can afford things like that.
Homer: Guys like me! I'm a guy like me!



Hank Scorpio: Uh, hi, Homer. What can I do for you?
Homer: Sir, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks.
Hank Scorpio: Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn't I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there's four places. There's the Hammock Hut, that's on third.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Hank Scorpio: There's Hammocks-R-Us, that's on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There.
Homer: Mm-Hmm.
Hank Scorpio: That's on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot... Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex; it's the hammock complex on third.
Homer: Oh, the hammock district!

paddy kerins

Val Kilmer is my favourite Door



SILENT ALARM ACTIVATED!!

Hank_Jones

Homer: All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me--so let's just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.


Ned: Maude, come quick! The Simpsons are covered with cooties!
Homer: Help us!
Bart: We're diseased!
Maude: Oh no! That's leprosy! Remember those scary lepers in Ben Hur.
Ned: You saw Ben Hur without me?
Maude: We were broken up then!
Homer: Braaains, braaains! Use your brains to help us! Your delicious brains!

dan1895

Confused would we?

Witcher

Mr Burns tries to open jar to make lunch

Smithers: It's no use, sir. Shall I send out for some Chinese?
Burns: No, those people are all gristle.

paddy kerins

Wait a minute. There's something bothering me about this place... I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire escape! Enjoy your death trap ladies

Busi_Girl08

Groundskeeper Willie - "It won't last!! Brothers and sisters are natural enemies, like Englishmen or Scots, or Welshmen and Scots, or Japanese and Scots, or Scots and other Scots. Damn Scots!! They ruined Scotland!!
Skinner - "Heh, you Scots sure are contentious people."
Willie - "...You just made an enemy for life :mad:"

talla10

Hi I'm Troy Maclure and you're reading this in my voice.

the purple tin

Shoplifting is a victimless crime, like punching someone in the dark.

cherryghost

I would murder for a dedicated Simpsons forum

the purple tin

Simpson, go kiss the virtual ass.

the keen edge

A little help please.......snack related mishap.

WhiteRussian

This thread sucks, you newbies.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=199844

Valentina

After Homer crashes the family's two cars.

Insurance Agent: Now, before I give you the check, one more question. This place "Moe's" you left just before the accident. This is a business of some kind?
Homer's Brain: Don't tell him you were at a bar! Gasp! But what else is open at night?
Homer: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
Brain: Heh heh heh. I would'a never thought of that.

Galway K9

[QUOTE=talla10;73951719]Hi I'm Troy Maclure and you're reading this in my voice.[/QUOTE]

WhiteRussian wrote: »

This thread sucks, you newbies.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=199844

HMMMMMMM.......28 pages vrs 118 and counting....I'd beg to differ. And krudler OP started with a great quote for laugh and turned out to be the best and most active yet.

paddy kerins

-Give her this, then this, and then these.
-Thank you doctor
-Oh, I'm not a doctor

Hank_Jones

Captain Tenille: Tell me young man, what do you want out of life?
Homer: I want peas.
Captain Tenille: Oh, we all want peace, but it's always just out of reach. So, what's the best way to get peace?
Homer: With a knife.
Captain Tenille: Exactly! Not with the olive branch but the bayonet! Ah, Simpson, you're like the son I never had.
Homer: And you're like the father I never visit.

foxyboxer

Smithers congas alone

Burns: Conga conga conga!
We love Monty Burns more!
Conga like you mean it!
Please don't you make me shock you!


Homer: What instrument would you like, honey? Obomoboe? Tumamaba? Saxamaphone?

jebuz

Royce: And while you're there, would you pick up some of that nice, green moon money for me - Royce McCutcheon!
Homer: No deal, McCutcheon, that moon money is mine!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMrStxxPtdM

paddy kerins

Apu: Don't tell anyone but, these bagels are week old donuts
Krusty: Who am I to judge? I once ran over a guy in a parking lot and dumped the body on a golf course.
Homer: This is journalistic gold!!

Cut to head line reading 'Bagels are week old donuts'

cosmicfart

Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.

cosmicfart

Homer: Oh, I almost forgot. While I was at the court house, I had them change your name.
Marge: To what?
Homer: Chesty La Rue.
Marge: CHESTY LARUE?
Homer: Just try it for two weeks. If you don't like it, you can be Busty St. Claire.
Marge: I don't want to be Chesty La Rue or Busty St. Claire.
Homer: Fine. Hooty McBoob it is.
Marge: Goodnight, Homer.
Homer: Goodnight, Hooty.
Marge: Give me those.

Valentina

Homer: Heh heh, look at this country "YOU ARE GAY"

Delta Kilo

Posted by Tallon on YLYL in cool vids and pics and links.

Fitting for this thread I think!

paddy kerins

We're here! We're queer! We don't want any more bears

cosmicfart

Groundskeeper Willy: Lunchlady Doris, have you got any grease?
Lunchlady Doris: Yes. Yes, we do.
Groundskeeper Willy: *rips off his clothes* Then grease me up, woman!
Lunchlady Doris: ...Okey-dokey.

Chips Ahoy

Trent Steel: So whats your name?

Homer: Max Power.

Trent Steel: nice name.

Homer:Thanks i stole it from the back of a hair dryer.


also from the same episode

Trent Steel: We should have lunch together.You like thai?

Homer: Ya i like tie. You like shirt?:pac:

mfdc

paddy kerins wrote: »

We're here! We're queer! We don't want any more bears

Secretary: Sir, there's an angry mob here to see you.
Quimby: Do they ah... have an appointment?
Secretary: *checks notes* ... yes!
Skinner: *head pops out of mob* I phoned ahead!

Vicxas

Homer: Hello operator, give me the number for 911!