Dental plan!

Aldebaran

Burns: Smithers, look: he's standing up. I've never seen anything so adorable! Do you know who it reminds me of?
Smithers: Benji?
Burns: No.
Smithers: Lassie?
Burns: No, no, no, a person. You know who I mean.
Smithers: Snoop Doggy Dogg? Bob Barker? David Brenner?
Burns: No, no! The person who's always standing and walking.
Smithers: Rory Calhoun?
Burns: That's it!

Burns: But they're so wretchedly adorable. 25 little Rory Calhouns... I can't do it. But I can kill you. [Lisa whimpers like a puppy] No, I can't kill you either. Look at you, standing there on your hind legs like a couple of Rory Calhouns.

Funglegunk

Hello...Dundelinger.
Simpson, is that a plunger stuck to your head?
D'oh!

Mapck

Marge: Come on, Homer. Japan will be fun! You liked Rashomon.
Homer: That's not how I remember it!

Saila

I will give €100 to anyone who posts a quote from the simpsons thats funny and HASNT been posted yet!

Ghandee

Saila wrote: »

I will give €100 to anyone who posts a quote from the simpsons thats funny and HASNT been posted yet!

Searched, can't find this.

I suggest you leave immediatly" Homer- "Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths, and when they bark they shot bees at you?"


pm you my address.....

IvyTheTerrible

Ghandee wrote: »

Searched, can't find this.

I suggest you leave immediatly" Homer- "Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths, and when they bark they shot bees at you?"


pm you my address.....

"HAPPY DUDE" 742 Evergreen Terrace Springfield, USA

talla10

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

"HAPPY DUDE" 742 Evergreen Terrace Springfield, USA

One dollar for eternal happiness....I'd be happier with the dollar

cosmicfart

Vicxas wrote: »

Homer: Hello operator, give me the number for 911!

Chief Wiggum: Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2.

cosmicfart

Chief Wiggum: Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be "policing" the entire city!

cosmicfart

Milhouse; I can’t go to juvie. They use guys like me as currency.

cosmicfart

Homer : I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming!

cosmicfart

Homer: How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. **Makes sound effects and laughs** Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.

cosmicfart

Grandpa Simpson: Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.

cosmicfart

Homer : Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use

cosmicfart

Chief Wiggum: Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the…uh…what cures cancer?

cosmicfart

Homer: You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.

cosmicfart

Comic Book Guy: Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three “Highlander” movies.

cosmicfart

Troy McClure: Don’t kid yourself Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!

cosmicfart

Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl!????????????

ItsAWindUp

Attendant: Yeah, I did see some bikers drive by here with a blue-haired woman about ten minutes ago. Said they were gonna spend the night at that Crystal Lake camp ground. Section K, space 217. Yeah, I'm sorry I can't be of more help.

Homer Simpson: I guess I'll never find her.

Chips Ahoy

this is one of my favorite Simpsons moments, from the softball episode where the cops pull over Steve Saxs

Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?

cut next scene Saxs is in prison.

Chief Wiggum: Good work boys, i think we just about closed the case on every unsolved murder in new york city.

Steve Saxs: Don't i at least get a lawyer.

Officer Lou: You watch too many movies don't you, Sax.

FetchTheGin

Homer "Aww twenty dollars?! I wanted a peanut!"
Homers brain "Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!".
Homer "Explain how..."
Homers brain "Money, can be exchanged for goods and services"
Homer "Woohoo!"

cosmicfart

Homer: Dear Lord.. The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal.

DEVEREUX

HOMER I gotta call the plant and warn em

Automated Message "The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialling wand please mash the keypad with your palm, now"

paddy kerins

Hello Mother dear

DEVEREUX

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58JsLdb2wHw

cosmicfart

Nelson: We've been doing a lot of upper body work on Bart. Today let's pound his kidneys

the purple tin

Principal Skinner: I know you can read my thoughts, Bart.
Just remember, if I find out you cut class, your ass is mine. Yes, you heard me. I think words I would never say.

Homer: I know you can read my thoughts, boy. Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow...

cosmicfart

Homer: I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!

paddy kerins

Oh my god... somebody took a bite out of the giant rice krispy square. Oh, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.