Dental plan!

degausserxo

Not Brown.. Brown... Brown... Brown...

Riddle101

From an episode today

Stacy: Let's buy makeup so the boys will like us.
Lisa: Don't you people see anything wrong what Malibu Stacy
says?
Celeste: There's something wrong with what _my_ Stacy says.
Stacy: My spidey sense is tingling -- anybody call
for a web-slinger?
Lisa: No, Celeste. I mean, the things she says are sexist.
Girls: Lisa said a dirty word!

Lisa: It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you.
Abe: It's rotten being old. No one listens to you.
Homer: I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me -- no
matter how dumb my suggestions are.

Smithers: Yes? I -- why, it's Homer Simpson's daughter.
Lisa: I thought you might be able to help me get in touch with the
inventor of Malibu Stacy.
Smither: Whew! Heh, that would be quite a feat. Stacy Lavelle is a
total recluse! She hasn't appeared in public in twenty years.
Here, I'm writing an article on her for my next Malibu Stacy
newsletter. It contains her last known whereabouts. Here,
I'll print you out a copy.
Lisa: Thanks!
[Smithers turns his computer on. A bitmapped Mr. Burns
appears]
Burns: Hello, Smithers. You're quite good
at turning me on.
Smithers: Um...you probably should ignore that

Boy: All right! I've been waiting nine years to get my frisbee back.
*He throws it, but it goes right back inside*
Aw!

Joe: Stacy, please, I must have you back. Just come for a ride with
me in my Mobile Command Unit.
Stacy: Joe, I told you, it's over. Release me from your Kung-Fu
Grip.
Joe: Fine. I'll bomb your house into the ground, missy

Techie: Talking doll, take eight.
Lisa: "When I get married, I'm keeping my own name." Oh, no, that
should probably be "If I choose to get married."
Techie: Uh, look, little girl, we got other talking dollies to record
today.
Krusty: *barging in with cue cards* All right, you poindexters, let's
get this right!
One: "Hey, hey, kids, I'm Talking Krusty."
Two: "Hey, hey, here comes Slideshow Mel" -- again -- "Here
comes Sideshow Mel". "Sideshow Mel".
Three: I]does a Krusty laugh[/I
Budda-bing, budda-boom, I'm done. Learn from a professional,
kid.
*leaves*
Techie: OK, Krusty, we are ready to roll any -- what the...?

Daughter: Dad?
Kent: Uh huh?
Daughter: My new doll is much better than Malibu Stacy. Do a newscast
about her.
Kent: Ho ho, please, honey, Daddy's job is to bring people important
news. Right now I'm busy preparing a report about the
fortieth anniversary of Beetle Bailey.
Daughter: Oh, Daddy, that is boring. Talk about the dolly!
Kent: Well, you were right about the Berlin Wall...

Kent Brockman: Oh, and the President was arrested for murder. More on that tomorrow night, or you can turn to another channel. OH, don't turn to another channel.

Executive: Our one effort to put a stop to this Lisa Lionheart thing has
failed miserably. Gentlemen, we have to reinvent Malibu
Stacy for the nineties. I]ominous[/I We'll stay here all night
if need be.
Man: Can we order Chinese food?
Executive: *pause* Yes.

Lisa: *sigh* Well, I guess you can't beat big business. There's just
no room for the little guy.
Lisa: *the doll* Trust in yourself, and you can achieve anything!
*another girl plays with Lisa Lionheart and smiles*
Lisa: You know, if we get through to just that one little girl, it'll
all be worth it!
Stacy: Yes. Particularly if that little girl happens to pay $46,000 for
that doll.
Lisa: What?
Stacy: Oh, nothing.

Riddle101

Riddle101 wrote: »

Smithers: Yes? I -- why, it's Homer Simpson's daughter.
Lisa: I thought you might be able to help me get in touch with the
inventor of Malibu Stacy.
Smither: Whew! Heh, that would be quite a feat. Stacy Lavelle is a
total recluse! She hasn't appeared in public in twenty years.
Here, I'm writing an article on her for my next Malibu Stacy
newsletter. It contains her last known whereabouts. Here,
I'll print you out a copy.
Lisa: Thanks!
[Smithers turns his computer on. A bitmapped Mr. Burns
appears]
Burns: Hello, Smithers. You're quite good
at turning me on.
Smithers: Um...you probably should ignore that

I was watching this episode on Channel 4 today and they cut out the bit where Mr Burns says "You're quite good at turning me on". He just said "Hello Smithers" and then Smithers said "You should probably ignore that".

Hate when they cut bits out. Channel 4 seems to be the worst for doing it.

AlmightyCushion

Let's just say it moved me...... TO A BIGGER HOUSE. Uh oh, I said the quite part, loud and loud part, quite.

Miss Olenska

Some Marge classics:

"Is this projection accurate, Homer?"

"Music is none of my business"

"Girls, Lisa. Boys kiss girls."

"I wouldn't want to be a member of any club that would have this me as a member" - esp love this one.

Valentina

Marge: that's your solution to everything, to live under the sea, well it's not gonna happen!

Miss Olenska

Bart: Mom, what if there's a really bad crummy guy who's going to jail but I know he's innocent?
Marge: Well, Bart, your uncle Arthur used to have a saying: "Shoot 'em all and let God sort 'em out." Unfortunately, one day put his theory into practice. It took 75 federal marshalls to bring him down. Now let's never speak of him again. I]hums as she dusts[/I
Bart: Mom. ...Mom. ...Mom!
Marge: Huh?
Bart: What if I can get this guy off the hook? Should -- should I do it?
Marge: Honey, you should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did one grey December morn.
I]hums some more[/I

Seosaimh77

ThurstonWhore wrote: »

Marge: that's your solution to everything, to live under the sea, well it's not gonna happen!

not with that attitude

Valentina

Kent: This is hour 57 of our live, round-the-clock coverage outside the Simpson estate. Remember, by the way, to tune in at 8:00 for highlights of today's vigil, including when the garbage man came and when Marge Simpson put the cat out... possibly because it was harassed, we don't know.

Creature

ThurstonWhore wrote: »

Kent: This is hour 57 of our live, round-the-clock coverage outside the Simpson estate. Remember, by the way, to tune in at 8:00 for highlights of today's vigil, including when the garbage man came and when Marge Simpson put the cat out... possibly because it was harassed, we don't know.

I'm pretty sure that's Homer Simpson in the oven, rotating slowly. His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees, he's literally stewing in his own juices.


Love that episode.

Glico Man

Kirk Van Houten: You're letting me go?
Southern Crackers Director: Kirk, crackers are a family food... happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers we don't know. Frankly, we don't wanna know. It's a market we could do without.
Kirk: So that's it, after 20 years... so long good luck?
SCD: I don't recall saying good luck.

Miss Olenska

Creature wrote: »

I'm pretty sure that's Homer Simpson in the oven, rotating slowly. His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees, he's literally stewing in his own juices.


Love that episode.

Kent: Simpson scandal update: Homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual powers.

Homer: Hey -- that's a half-truth!

AlmightyCushion

Creature wrote: »

I'm pretty sure that's Homer Simpson in the oven, rotating slowly. His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees, he's literally stewing in his own juices.


Love that episode.

It's a great episode.

Woman on TV Talk Show: I don't know Homer Simpson, I never met Homer Simpson or had any contact with him, but *starts crying* I'm sorry, I can't go on.
Sally: That's OK. Your tears say more than real evidence ever could.

Creature

Yeah it's my favourite episode my a clear margin. Full of brilliant lines from start to finish


Today on Ben: mothers and runaway daughters reunited by their hatred of Homer Simpson. Now here's your host, Gentle Ben.


This is so depressing Marge, my only hope now is this home made Prozac. Hmm needs more ice cream

AlmightyCushion

Creature wrote: »

Yeah it's my favourite episode my a clear margin. Full of brilliant lines from start to finish


Today on Ben: mothers and runaway daughters reunited by their hatred of Homer Simpson. Now here's your host, Gentle Ben.


This is so depressing Marge, my only hope now is this home made Prozac. Hmm needs more ice cream

I think we need less Homer Simpsons and more funding for public schools.

Miss Olenska

It's a stone cold classic!

Valentina

Godfrey Jones: Tomorrow on Rock Bottom
[slow mo of Willy walking into Godfrey's office]
he's a foreigner who takes perverted videos of you when you least expect it. He's "Rowdy Roddy Peeper"...
Homer: Oh, that man is sick!
Marge: Groundskeeper Willy saved you, Homer.
Homer: But listen to the music! He's evil!
Marge: Hasn't this experience taught you you can't believe everything you hear?
Homer: Marge, my friend, I haven't learned a thing.

Creature

ThurstonWhore wrote: »

Godfrey Jones: Tomorrow on Rock Bottom
[slow mo of Willy walking into Godfrey's office]
he's a foreigner who takes perverted videos of you when you least expect it. He's "Rowdy Roddy Peeper"...
Homer: Oh, that man is sick!
Marge: Groundskeeper Willy saved you, Homer.
Homer: But listen to the music! He's evil!
Marge: Hasn't this experience taught you you can't believe everything you hear?
Homer: Marge, my friend, I haven't learned a thing.

Tonight on Rock Bottom, we go undercover at a sex farm for sex hookers!

Guill

Marge: Homer Stop, you'll kill us all!!

Homer: Or die trying!!

the purple tin

When Homer passes out drunk on the floor during a party

Dr Hibbert: If you want him to live through the night, I suggest turning him onto his side.

Marge: Thank you Doctor

Dr Hibbert: Remember, I said IF.

Busi_Girl08

FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDERRRRRRS....FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNDEEEEERRRS...

talla10

Creature wrote: »

Yeah it's my favourite episode my a clear margin. Full of brilliant lines from start to finish


Today on Ben: mothers and runaway daughters reunited by their hatred of Homer Simpson. Now here's your host, Gentle Ben.

Love it when the bear goes mad and had to be taken down...

'Homer this is GOD...frey jones from the television series Rockbottom!'

derfderf

"A graduate student huh? How come you guys can put a man on the moon but can't make my shoes smell good?"
"Excuse me?"
"Ahh nobodys blaming you. Hey can you take the wheel for a second, i need to scratch myself in two places at once."

Brilliant episode, second only to the hockey one i reckon.

"I don't want anyone to give her a hard time just because she's different. No jokes, no taunting, n....LOOK, that kid's got bosoms! Who's got a wet towel (chases uter whipping him wit the towel) come 'er you little butterball"
"Don't make me run, i'm full of chocolate."

Lollipops23

Yay, sleep! That's where I'm a viking!!"

Welsh Megaman

Dr. Hibbert (checking man collapsed on floor): Quick, somebody perform CPR!

Homer (stands up, clears throat): I SEE A BAD MOON RISING...

the purple tin

Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong bush. Hehehe.
(There it is, Homer, the cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it)
Homer: D'oh!

Sam Vimes

Ooh, a head bag. Those are chock full of... heady goodness.

Sam Vimes

Explorer guy:You've gotta start selling this for more than a dollar a bag. We lost four more men on this expedition.

Apu:If you can think of a better way to get ice, I'd like to hear it.

Explorer guy: Beats me

The___________

(Mr.Burns filling out medical records at clinic)

"Social security number? Naught, naught, naught, naught, naught, naught, naught, naught, 2. Damn Roosevelt. Cause of parents death? Got in my way."

Seosaimh77

the purple tin wrote: »

Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong bush. Hehehe.
(There it is, Homer, the cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it)
Homer: D'oh!

I want to thank that one twice - love it

Marge with baby on board sign: Look what I got! Now people will stop intentionally ramming our car.



Homer: Hmm, "Baby on Board..." Baby On Board, something something, Burt Ward...

This thing writes itself!