Dental plan!

the purple tin · 11-09-2011 3:07pm

Marge: Your teenage son or daughter will think this wishbone necklace is "really cool".

Man: I doubt my son or daughter is that stupid.

later

Marge: sigh nobody bought a wishbone necklace.

Homer: Well, at least one of us made some money. I sold the spare tyre.
[one of the cars tyres explodes] D'oh!

Lady von Purple · 11-09-2011 3:24pm

Homer: "Hey, where are you kids going? I'm in the middle of a story!"

Lisa: "Dad, nobody's going to sit down and listen to a story for thirty minutes. I'm going to go make myself a sandwich, maybe go to the bathroom."

Marge: "I'm going to stay here, but I'm going to think about products I might like to purchase." *closes eyes* "Oooh, don't have that."

*AD BREAK*

Fromthetrees · 11-09-2011 3:53pm

That's a paddlin'

ImpossibleDuck · 11-09-2011 8:54pm

The episode were Homer befriends Ned after the football game was on today.

And as they're driving out of the stadium, Homer's not ashamed of Ned anymore and shout's out the window at Lenny and Carl "This is Ned Flanders and he's my friend" (or something :P)

Carl: "What'd he say?"
Channel 4: *****ing Ad Break*

Cut out a classic joke :mad:

Riddle101 · 11-09-2011 8:56pm

Lady von Purple wrote: »

Homer: "Hey, where are you kids going? I'm in the middle of a story!"

Lisa: "Dad, nobody's going to sit down and listen to a story for thirty minutes. I'm going to go make myself a sandwich, maybe go to the bathroom."

Marge: "I'm going to stay here, but I'm going to think about products I might like to purchase." *closes eyes* "Oooh, don't have that."

*AD BREAK*

I love when the Simpson's break the fourth wall.

Glico Man · 11-09-2011 9:13pm

From the episode where Bart works in Burlesque house

Announcer on TV: It's 11 o'clock, do you know where your children are?

Homer: I told you last night, no! Where is Bart anyway... his dinners getting all cold and eaten.

johnnycnandy · 11-09-2011 9:23pm

Aurora Borealis!?

At this time of year!?

At this time of day!?

In this part of the country!?

Localized entirely within your kitchen!?

AlmightyCushion · 11-09-2011 11:21pm

johnnycnandy wrote: »

Aurora Borealis!?

At this time of year!?

At this time of day!?

In this part of the country!?

Localized entirely within your kitchen!?

You're a strange man, but you steam a good ham.

talla10 · 12-09-2011 6:32pm

Moe; Hey officer do you see my car parked over there? The one wit the hippie flower in spot 7a?

Wiggum; Yeah what about it?

Moe; Eh.. i was just thinking...what a nice parking job i did on it.

Wiggum; Hey that is nice. Hey Lou! Check out that park job on 7a

Lou; Sweet Chief.

Homer; Thats funny...We didnt have a message before we left.

Tape; Hello mother, hello father here i am at..Camp Granada!

Homerr; Marge!! Is lisa gone to Camp Granada??

air assault · 13-09-2011 12:35am

Miss Olenska wrote: »

Bart: Mom, what if there's a really bad crummy guy who's going to jail but I know he's innocent?
Marge: Well, Bart, your uncle Arthur used to have a saying: "Shoot 'em all and let God sort 'em out." Unfortunately, one day put his theory into practice. It took 75 federal marshalls to bring him down. Now let's never speak of him again. I]hums as she dusts[/I
Bart: Mom. ...Mom. ...Mom!
Marge: Huh?
Bart: What if I can get this guy off the hook? Should -- should I do it?
Marge: Honey, you should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did one grey December morn.
I]hums some more[/I

best scene ever in the simpsons

Valentina · 13-09-2011 12:42am

Miss Hoover: You see, class, my Lyme Disease turned out to be (Spells on blackboard) psychosomatic.
Ralph: Does that mean you're crazy?
Janey: No, that means she was faking it.
Miss Hoover: No, actually, it was a little of both.

dan1895 · 13-09-2011 1:15am

Careful, they're rippled!

blackwhite · 13-09-2011 9:57am

You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.

Dad, what's the point of this story?

I like stories.

Witcher · 13-09-2011 6:39pm

Homer burts into office in city hall: 'I want to run for sanitation commissioner and tell the fatcats upstairs things are gonna change around here!'

Clerk: 'Ok, but this is where you register as a sex offender'

Moe walks in...

'ah jeez there's always a line'

FetchTheGin · 13-09-2011 6:45pm

My homer is not communist!

He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is NOT a pornstar.

Guill · 13-09-2011 7:47pm

Ralph: I'm a Unitard!

Lady von Purple · 13-09-2011 7:59pm

Homer:

"It's finally going to happen. After years of get-rich-quick schemes, I'm finally going to get rich! And quick!"

"Hello sir, you look like a man who has problems satisfying his wife."

dan1895 · 14-09-2011 8:16am

Maybe you are ALL homosexuals!

Lorrs33 · 14-09-2011 2:31pm

That's some fine coffee you got here in Twin Peaks, and damn good cherry pie!

Brilliant... I have no idea what's going on!

cianl1 · 14-09-2011 3:16pm

I love this one purely because it makes no sense.

Mr Burns:... Oh and one more thing. [Close up] You must find the Jade Monkey before the next full Moon.
Smithers: Actually sir, we found the Jade Monkey in your glove compartment.
Mr Burns: And the road maps and the ice scraper?
Smithers: They were in there too.
Mr Burns: Excellent. It's all coming into place.

mfdc · 14-09-2011 3:59pm

cianl1 wrote: »

I love this one purely because it makes no sense.

Mr Burns:... Oh and one more thing. [Close up] You must find the Jade Monkey before the next full Moon.
Smithers: Actually sir, we found the Jade Monkey in your glove compartment.
Mr Burns: And the road maps and the ice scraper?
Smithers: They were in there too.
Mr Burns: Excellent. It's all coming into place.

Similar vein:

Mr Burns: Comrades, we must crush the rebellion before the full moon! Remember, a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya!
Smithers: *frantic whispering*
Mr Burns: Oh and by that I mean of course it's time for our "Worker of the week" award!

then..
Homer: This is it, the week I finally win!
Lenny:What makes you so sure Homer?
Homer: Union rules, all employees must win at least one worker of the week award in spite of gross incompetence or negligence!
Burns: I can't believe we've overlooked this weeks winner for so long. Without his tireless efforts, our plant could surely not have kept operating as it has. So, without further ado I present to you the worker of the week...
Homer:

Burns: ... this inanimate carbon rod!
*crowd cheers*
Homer: D'oh! Lousy rod...

then the classic line...

Homer: Inanimate huh.... well I'll show him inanimate!!
*clenches his fists and glowers at Burns while the sun sets*

KeithM89_old · 14-09-2011 4:10pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqlXWqiOa5Y

cianl1 · 14-09-2011 10:27pm

This. Just... all of this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zOuxdRMJME

the purple tin · 15-09-2011 11:42am

Cousin Merle: Geech's gone to heaven Mr Terwilleger

Sideshow Bob: Oh Cousin Merle, Really!

Cecil: Now Bob. You know Cousin Merle "ain't bin quite right lately"

Valentina · 16-09-2011 8:01am

Marge: Homer, didn't John seem a little festive to you?
Homer: Couldn't agree more, happy as a clam.
Marge: He prefers the company of men!
Homer: Who doesn't?
Marge: Homer, listen carefully. John is a Ho - mo...
Homer: Right.
Marge: ...Sexual.
Homer: AAAAHHH!

leggo · 16-09-2011 10:56am

ThurstonWhore wrote: »

Marge: Homer, didn't John seem a little festive to you?
Homer: Couldn't agree more, happy as a clam.
Marge: He prefers the company of men!
Homer: Who doesn't?
Marge: Homer, listen carefully. John is a Ho - mo...
Homer: Right.
Marge: ...Sexual.
Homer: AAAAHHH!

Zzzap.

Randy Shafter · 16-09-2011 11:01am

Jazzman: I've been playing jazz for thirty years and I just can't make a go of it. I want you to have my saxaphone.

Bleedin' Gums Murphy: This isn't a saxaphone! It's an umbrella!

Jazzman: So i've been playing an umbrella for thirty years?! Why'd nobody tell me?

Bleedin' Gums Murphy: Heh, we all thought it was funny!

Jazzman: That's not funny.

talla10 · 16-09-2011 12:56pm

ThurstonWhore wrote: »

Marge: Homer, didn't John seem a little festive to you?
Homer: Couldn't agree more, happy as a clam.
Marge: He prefers the company of men!
Homer: Who doesn't?
Marge: Homer, listen carefully. John is a Ho - mo...
Homer: Right.
Marge: ...Sexual.
Homer: AAAAHHH!

Think of the real estate Marge!! Now we can never say only straight people have been in this house!

Fromthetrees · 16-09-2011 4:05pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhJGnJ7JR1g

blackwhite · 16-09-2011 4:33pm

From the golden era - all season 8 classics:

You can't seriously want to ban alcohol! It tastes great, makes women appear more attractive and makes a person virtually invulnerable to criticism.

Are you the Beer Baron?

Well, if you're talking about root beer, I plead guil-diddly-ilty as char-diddly-arged.

He's not the Baron. But he sounds drunk. Bring him in!

Oh, no! Aliens, bio-duplication, nude conspiracies... Oh my God! Lyndon
LaRouche was right!

Mmm, yes, I remember Satan's Little Helper...littering the rectory with his dirt, biting me in the apse.
He unholied the holy water!

Military school? You guys lied to me!

Well, I'm sorry if you heard "Disneyland," but I distinctly said, "military school".

Dental plan!

Comments