Dental plan!

FetchTheGin

Presidential candidate Ralph Wiggums policy on immigration, "STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!".

the purple tin

Krusty: Hey kids! Who do you love?

Audience: Krusty!

Krusty: How much do you love me?

Audience: With all our hearts!

Krusty: What would you do if I went off the air?

Audience: We'd kill ourselves!

cosmicfart

mrs krabappel: now whose calculator can tell me whats 5 multiplied by 12

Millhouse: *Raises hand* Eh Eh...........low battery

Dunny

Homer winking down the phone

http://www.oocities.org/zotik/93b.jpg

Fowler87

One of favourite on now...

Bart: You saved us dad!
Homer: You cant prove I did..
Lisa: No dad you did, you saved us!
Homer: I could do alotta things if i had some money
Lisa: Wha'?

HalloweenJack

cosmicfart wrote: »

mrs krabappel: now whose calculator can tell me whats 5 multiplied by 12

Millhouse: *Raises hand* Eh Eh...........low battery

The smug look on his face after she sighs and says something like "close enough" really makes that scene.

Oranage2

“Do you expect me to talk? No, Mr Bond. I expect you to die!”

Skylinehead

Oranage2 wrote: »

“Do you expect me to talk? No, Mr Bont. I expect you to die!”

Fixed

Riddle101

From an episode I saw last night.

Marge: Homer I want you to fold you Underwear
Homer: oh oh, this is going to be a two man job. Better get Bart. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaart!
*lisa walks in*
Lisa: Barts not here
Marge: Where is he?
Lisa: Eh, a friend's house
Marge: Who? not that Nelson kid.
Lisa: No, I think he's with Milhouse
*homer leans out the window*
Homer: MILHOUSE!!!!
Milhouse: Whaaaaaaaaat?
Homer: TELL BART TO COME HOME
Milhouse: I think he's at Nelson's
Homer: WHO's NELSON?
Marge: Nelson? I specifically forbit him to go there. Well i'm going to go over there and bring him home........ And punish Lisa too for lying.
Homer: Alright young lady, I want you to go to the K-Kwiki Mart and buy me some chips and a beer, and get a little something for yourself.

Nelson: Woah, you even compensated for the crooked shot

Marge: Alright young man, I want you to come home!
Nelson: Alright, finally a new home
Marge: Not you

Proberly the best conversation in the episode
Marge: What's Bart doing up there?
Homer: I dunno running a Meth lab.
Marge: Meth lab?
Homer: Or reading comic books, whatever
Marge: Well whatever he's doing up there I don't want to know...... And i'm going to find out!

Lisa: What's going to happen when we're overwelmed by Lizards?
Skinner: Oh we have a solution for that, once we're overwelmed, we'll just released wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes, they should solve the problem.
Lisa: But then we'll be overwelmed by snakes.
Skinner: Not really. Once that happens, we'll just released wave after wave of a special type of Panda that feeds on the snake.
Lisa: But then we'll be overwelmed again
Skinner: Oh that's the beauty part. Once the winter kicks in, the Pandas will simply freeze to death

Lisa: I don't get it Bart, at first you were sad for being reponsible for the death of one bird. But now your responible for the death fo thousands and don't even mind.

Fowler87

'You sunk my battleship!' :pac:

Jordan 199

Hi, i'm actor Troy McClure.

You might remember me from such drivers ed films as Alices adventure the windshield glass and the decapitation of Larry Leadfoot.


You just gotta like Troy McClure

Galway K9

Oranage2 wrote: »

“Do you expect me to talk? No, Mr Bond. I expect you to die!”

"At least tell me your plan first"...."no, im not falling for that one again!"

HalloweenJack

Jordan 191 wrote: »

You just gotta like Troy McClure

From the clip show:

Troy McClure: "You're probably watching at home saying: 'Troy, I've seen every Simpsons episode there is, you can't possibly show me anything new'... well, you've got some nerve, mister!"

foxyboxer

Ring 1-600-3628672





$129.95. You've tried the best, now try the rest.

IvyTheTerrible

Nobody ever suspects the butterfly!

"It was the butterfly I tell you!"

Sam Vimes

Jordan 191 wrote: »

Hi, i'm actor Troy McClure.

You might remember me from such drivers ed films as Alices adventure the windshield glass and the decapitation of Larry Leadfoot.


You just gotta like Troy McClure

You may remember me from such films as "Today we kill. Tomorrow we die" and "Gladys the Groovy mule"

christeb

Celebrate good times, COME ON

I will

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=av8NTy5WkFc

corblimey

The perfect crime. Marge, I have to be in court next Tuesday.

It's your child versus mine! The winner will be showered with praise, the loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore.

Homer : Marge, it's 3 a.m. and I worked all day!
Marge : It's 9:30 p.m. and you spent your whole Saturday drinking beer in Maggie's kiddie pool.

Newaglish

Fowler87 wrote: »

'You sunk my battleship!' :pac:

Homer: You sunk my scrabbleship!
Lisa: This game makes no sense.

ShooterSF

Galway K9 wrote: »

"At least tell me your plan first"...."no, im not falling for that one again!"

[Homer is a Blackjack dealer]
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Twenty. Your move, Mr. Bond.
James Bond: I'll take a hit, dealer.
[Homer deals Bond a card]
James Bond: Joker? You were supposed to take those out.
Homer: Oh, sorry.
[Homer deals Bond another card]
James Bond: What's this? "Rules for Draw and Stud Poker"?
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: What a pity, Mr. Bond...
[Oddjob and Jaws advance on Bond and grab him]
James Bond: But it was Homer's fault. I can't lose. I never lose.

HalloweenJack

The "Greetings Friend" episode:

It's the middle of the night and you see the Simpsons' and the Flanders' house. The phone rings in the Flanders house:
Ned [sleepy]: Howdily-diddledy.
Homer's recording: Greetings friend! Do you wish t-
[Ned hangs up]
Ned: It's that darn recording again.
Maude: Of course it is, it's been calling all night. Just unplug the phone.
[Ned & Maude go back to sleep, then the phone rings again]
Ned: Howd-
Homer's recording: Greetings friend!
Ned [slamming the phone down]: Dang!
Maude: I told you to unplug the phone!
Ned: But it could be my mother!
[Phone rings again]
Ned: Howdy-
Homer's recording: Greetings friend!
Ned [hanging up]: Shoot!
Maude: That's it, Ned! If you don't unplug the phone right now, you're sleeping on the lawn!
Homer [shouting across the garden]: WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP? PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!

dagdha

Marge: Christopher Walken is doing Goodnight Moon
Christopher Walken: Goodnight room, Goodnight moon, Goodnight cow jumping over the moon.
Please children scooch closer, don't make me tell you again about the scooching!! You in the red chop chop.*

*Has to be read in Christopher Walkens voice.

Dunny

Hit me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gf2O4YfMV3I

Jordan 199

Homer: My prices are so low you think I have brain damage.

retalivity

Homer: We're Here!
We're Queer!
We don't want any more bears!



Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a
charm.
Lisa: That's spacious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Thank you, dear.
Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.
Homer: Oh, how does it work?
Lisa: It doesn't work.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: It's just a stupid rock.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: But I don't see any tigers around, do you?
[Homer thinks of this, then pulls out some money]
Homer: Lisa, I want to buy your rock.
[Lisa refuses at first, then takes the exchange]

Creature

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

the purple tin

Bart: Remember when Tom had you in that headlock and you screamed, "I'm a hemophiliac!" and when he let you go, you kicked him in the back?

Homer: Yeah.

Bart: Will you teach me how to do that?

Homer: Sure, boy. First, you gotta shriek like a woman and keep sobbing until he turns away in disgust. That's when it's time to kick some back. And then when he's lying down on the ground...

Bart: Yeah.

Homer: Kick him in the ribs.

Bart: Yeah.

Homer: Step on his neck.

Bart: Yeah.

Homer: And run like hell.

Dunny

Homer: [on the phone] Hello, Jerry? Homer Simpson. Remember last month when I paid back that loan? Well now I need YOU to do a favor for ME.

Dunny

Homer: C'mon Lenny, I need four more guys to fill my Superbowl bus.. what do you say?
Lenny: Naaaahhh..
Homer: C'moon
Lenny: Naaaahhh..
Homer: C'moooooon!!
Lenny: Naaaahhh...
Homer: Oh COME OOOOONNN!
Lenny: Aww...
Homer: Yes! Now that Lenny's in, Carl will fall like a domino!

CapriSunFun

Luanne van Houten: “Just answer me one question: How did YOUR wife’s bra end up in MY husband’s bed?”

Homer: “Wha-what? This IS Marge’s bra! I bought it for her boobs!”