Dental plan!

talla10

Without TV its hard to tell when one day ends the next one begins.
=======

Bart; Now i'm off to teach some kids a lesson

Marge; I chose to take that literally.

Homer; Yes Barts a tutor now. Tut-on, son, Tut-on.
=======

Ladies and Gentlemen this is the end. This is the end of dog racing.

Glico Man

Lisa: Ms. Hoover thought I made the whole thing up. She called me a PC thug.
Homer: I've been called a greasy thug too and it never stops hurting

Jordan 199

Homer: Hello, my name is Mr Burns, I believe you have a letter for me.

Post Office employee: Ok Mr Burns, what is your first name?

Homer: I don't know.

Dunny

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmNObROcBOo

dan1895

Lisa: They're going to demolish our house for sure and we'll be living in a Motel 6!

Bart: But Dad can't afford $6 a night.

sensibleken

Damn you rock-em sock-em robots! cant we just get along!

Jordan 199

Fat Tony: My wife is very vocal about the moneys. She says where are the moneys and why aren't you getting the moneys now.

talla10

Skinner; Oh You all think this missing 'H' is a laugh riot don't you? Well i'll tell you something thats not so funny- right now Superintendent Chalmers is at home crying like a little girl!
====
Bart reading about Knife safety

Don't do what Johnny Doesn't Does
===

Tom; C'mon bart i don't like you talking to strangers.

Homer; Excuse me but i happen to be his father.

Tom; The Drunken gambler??

Homer; Thats right. And who might you be?

efb

Artie: He's a loser Marge, dump him! :sings: I travelled the world and the seven seas, I am watching you through a camera!

Jordan 199

When you're right 52% of the time, you're wrong 48% of the time.

luckyfrank

Welcome to dumpville...... Population YOU !

corblimey

Now, let's see ... this'll make three Christmases I saved versus eight I ruined ... two were kind of a draw...

Noo

Aah, its the rapture! Quick, get Bart out of the house before God comes!

cosmicfart

Principal Skinner: sorry bart there is no such thing as Scotchtoberfest.

Groundskeeper Willie: There isnt?? ya used me Skinner, YA USED ME!!!!

Lisa: Dad, what would you say if I told you you could lose weight easily
without lifting a finger?

Homer: I'd say you are a lying scumbag! Why honey?

Jordan 199

Time to fertilize the lawn. A couple of 500-pound bags should do it!

Funglegunk

aaronh007 wrote: »

Lisa: Ms. Hoover thought I made the whole thing up. She called me a PC thug.
Homer: I've been called a greasy thug too and it never stops hurting

So here's what we're gonna do: We're gonna grease ourselves up real good and trash that place with a baseball bat!

the purple tin

I am so smart, I am so smart.
S-M-R-T... I mean S-M-A-R-T.

Volvagia

Homer: Now, what were we talking about, boy?
Bart: Uhhhh... we were talking about the time you beat jury duty.
Homer: Oh, yeah. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races

Jordan 199

Homer sticking his head out of Flanders car window:

I want everyone to know that is Ned Flanders... my friend!

Lenny: What did he say?

Carl: I dunno. Somethin' about being gay.

ShooterSF

sensibleken wrote: »

Damn you rock-em sock-em robots! cant we just get along!

Is it sad when you are doing the voice and realise the sentence is missing the word "all" because you've said it so many times?

ITS_A_BADGER

*Think unsexy thoughts* *think unsexy thoughts*

DUH DUH DAAAA DAAA DAAA DAAAAA DA BUUUUUUUURP!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzBkYsN8MHI

IvyTheTerrible

Picture them in theiiiirrrrrr unnnnnnderrrrrrweaarrrrrr.....

Agh!

cherryghost

I always get the blame around here! Who threw a cane at the TV? Who fell into the china hutch? Who got their dentures stuck on the toilet?

Riddle101

"Why'd you let her take the gun? You should have fired it in the air, she'd have run away"

Professey Chin

Man:"Oh my god the PTA has disbanded!"
/jumps out window
Flanders: "No no. The PTA hasnt disbanded."
/man jumps back in window and sits down like nothings happened

Jordan 199

Bart to Sunday school teacher: Mam, what if you're a really good person but you're in a really really really bad fight and your leg gets gangrene and it has to be amputated. Will it be waiting for you in heaven?

Teacher: For the last time Bart, yes!

the purple tin

Krusty: It wasn't my fault, it was the Percodan. If you ask me, that
stuff rots your brain.
And now a word from our new sponsor...
Percodan?! Aw, crap!

dan1895

Mr Burns: One more thing. Have ever seen the sun set at 3pm?

Sea Captain: Aye once, when I was sailing 'round the Artic circle

krudler

Mr Burns after laughing for days at his memory of slamming a bumper car into an Irish workers legs as a child

"what was I laughing at now?...oh yes! that crippled Irishman"