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Dental plan!

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    #2102
    Susie_Q
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,211 ✭✭✭Susie_Q


    Lawyer: What about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say 'die Bart, die'?

    Sideshow Bob: No, that's German! It says 'the Bart, the'.

    Member of the jury: No one who speaks German could be an evil man!


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    #2103
    some random drunk
    Registered Users Posts: 969 ✭✭✭some random drunk


    ScienceNerd wrote: »
    Were you sent here by the devil?

    No good sir, I'm on the level!


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    #2104
    Jordan 199
    Registered Users Posts: 11,940 ✭✭✭✭Jordan 199


    Lady Customer: Could you make sure not to scrape my asphalt?

    Homer: Kiss my asphalt.


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    #2105
    the purple tin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    Grampa: Son, it's me! I floated up toward Heaven but got lost along
    the way.

    Homer: Dad! is that really you?

    Grampa: Darn tootin' you lousy creep! You buried me naked and sold
    my suit to buy a ping-pong table. What kind of a son ...
    [Homer pulls the plug]

    Homer: Call me when you get a karaoke machine.
    [Moe plugs Grampa back in]

    Grampa: That's the second time he's pulled the plug on me.


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    #2106
    im invisible
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,372 ✭✭✭im invisible


    Homer:Yabba Dabba Doo!!

    Simpson! Homer Simpson!
    He's the greatest guy in history,
    From the, town of Springfield,
    He's about to hit a chestnut tree...


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    #2107
    Sam Vimes
    Registered Users Posts: 21,611 ✭✭✭✭Sam Vimes


    I'll buy a suit. OF DRUGS!!!


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    #2108
    GLaDOS
    Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 23,221 Mod ✭✭✭✭GLaDOS


    some random drunk wrote: »
    No good sir, I'm on the level!
    The ring came off my pudding can...

    Cake, and grief counseling, will be available at the conclusion of the test



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    #2109
    Sam Vimes
    Registered Users Posts: 21,611 ✭✭✭✭Sam Vimes


    I have a serious brain disease. Please give me a cat


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    #2110
    Sam Vimes
    Registered Users Posts: 21,611 ✭✭✭✭Sam Vimes


    ScienceNerd wrote: »
    The ring came off my pudding can...

    Take my pen knife my good man


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    #2111
    talla10
    Registered Users Posts: 1,117 ✭✭✭talla10


    Susie_Q wrote: »
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Lisa: Dad, we did something very bad![/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Homer: Did you wreck the car?[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Bart: No.[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Homer: Did you raise the dead?[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Lisa: Yes.[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Homer: But the car's okay?[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Bart & Lisa: Uh-huh.[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Homer: All right then.[/FONT]

    Bart; Dad you killed the zombie Flanders!!

    Homer; He was a zombie?


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    #2112
    Creature
    Registered Users Posts: 3,005 ✭✭✭Creature


    Homer: If you don't start making more sense, we're going to have to put you in a home.

    Granpa: You already put me in a home!

    Homer: Then we'll put you in that crooked home we saw on 60 Minutes!

    Granda: I'll be good.


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    #2113
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    "welll if it isnt captain of the weiner patrol, bonding up on his nerd lessons!"

    "dont do what Donny Don't does....sigh, they could have made this simpler"


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    #2114
    Lady von Purple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 318 ✭✭Lady von Purple


    *automated voice* ''Pray. For. Mojo.''


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    #2115
    Jordan 199
    Registered Users Posts: 11,940 ✭✭✭✭Jordan 199


    Rainier Wolfcastle: on closer inspection they are loafers.


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    #2116
    Jordan 199
    Registered Users Posts: 11,940 ✭✭✭✭Jordan 199


    Nelson: Shoplifting is a victimless crime.


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    #2117
    Reamer Fanny
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,828 ✭✭✭Reamer Fanny


    Dr Hibert: dislocated shoulder, bump on the noggin, my diagnosis bad babysitting!


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    #2118
    Jordan 199
    Registered Users Posts: 11,940 ✭✭✭✭Jordan 199


    justryan wrote: »
    Dr Hibert: dislocated shoulder, bump on the noggin, my diagnosis bad babysitting!

    Caused by Lisa Simpson.


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    #2119
    Reamer Fanny
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,828 ✭✭✭Reamer Fanny


    You choo-choo choose me


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    #2120
    Susie_Q
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,211 ✭✭✭Susie_Q


    Jordan 191 wrote: »
    Nelson: Shoplifting is a victimless crime.

    Like punching someone in the dark!


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    #2121
    mfdc
    Registered Users Posts: 304 ✭✭mfdc


    krudler wrote: »
    "welll if it isnt captain of the weiner patrol, bonding up on his nerd lessons!"

    Homer! You need to encourage him!
    I'm sorry, you're right. Good job, boy.
    *waits for Marge to leave*
    EGGHEAD LIKES HIS BOOKY BOOK!


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    #2122
    IvyTheTerrible
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,949 ✭✭✭✭IvyTheTerrible


    All mo and no mo makes mo a mo mo.

    No beer and no tv make Homer something something
    Go crazy?
    Don't mind if I dooo kdhfdskhasgalrkrgjdkrgjdkl.....


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    #2123
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Marge: How was your day at work, dear?
    Homer: Oh, the usual. Stand in front of this, open that, pull down this, bend over, spread apart that, turn your head that way, cough ...

    Oh, this movie's too complicated. Hey, the floor's sticky. Who's that guy? What did that guy say when I said, "Who's that guy"


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    #2124
    im invisible
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,372 ✭✭✭im invisible


    *takes out tub of ice-cream, no chocolate in it*
    "D'oh!"

    *takes out tub of ice-cream, no chocolate in it*
    "D'oh!"

    *takes out tub of ice-cream, no chocolate in it*
    "D'oh!"
    "Marge! we need more chocolate, strawberry and vanilla icecream"


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    #2125
    Rawhead
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,076 ✭✭✭Rawhead


    Fight song as Homer enters the ring against Drederick Tatum.

    "Why can't we be friends"


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    #2126
    Fowler87
    Registered Users Posts: 6,733 ✭✭✭Fowler87


    I want some tacquitos


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    #2127
    foxyboxer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,528 ✭✭✭foxyboxer


    "We're too late!!!"

    "I...shouldn't have stopped for that haircut :("


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    #2128
    jebuz
    Registered Users Posts: 1,771 ✭✭✭jebuz


    Give me 5 bees for a quarter you'd say


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    #2129
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Rawhead wrote: »
    Fight song as Homer enters the ring against Drederick Tatum.

    "Why can't we be friends"

    I watched that ep the other night, fantastic stuff.

    "this guys a hungry fighter, and by that I mean he's fighin' for a sandwich"

    "you've got to knock him out Homer! knock him out!"
    "that talking cactus is right!"


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    #2130
    the purple tin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    A poem by Hans Moleman.
    I think that I shall never see,
    My cataracts are blinding me.
    :(


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    #2131
    FetchTheGin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 857 ✭✭✭FetchTheGin


    Hello, this is Moleman in the morning. Good Moleman to you.

    Today, part four of our series of the agonizing pain in which I live every daaaay


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