Dental plan!

krudler

"do not touch Willie. good advice!"

Odaise Gaelach

Perhaps you're wondering why you have two heads.

krudler

"be more like...whats your name son?"
"Ruttiger"
"be more like little Ruttiger here"
"his name's Bart"
"It doesnt matter what his name is!"

FetchTheGin

Smithers:I've never seen you lose a game. Except for that one in '74 when you let Richard Nixon win. That was very kind of you, sir.

Burns: Oh, he just looked so forlorn, Smithers, with his "Oh, I can't go to prison, Monty. They'll eat me alive!"

Say, I wonder if this Homer Nixon is any relation?

Smithers: Unlikely, sir. They spell and pronounce their names differently.

Burns: Bah. Schedule a game and I'll ask him myself.

the purple tin

Homer: Oh Lisa, there's no record of a hurricane ever hitting Springfield.

Lisa: Yes, but record only goes back to 1978 when the hall of records was mysteriously blown away!

Jordan 199

Rod: Daddy, what is that red stuff coming from kitty's ears?

Ned: It's rasberry jam.

Glico Man

Bart calling random phone numbers in the southern hemisphere

Aide: Please to repeat again and I will translating for the el presidente.
Bart: Which way does the water turn in your toilet?
Aide: [in Spanish] He says the tide is turning!
President: Ay, caramba! Then the rebels will soon take the capital. I must flee! [jumps out the window]

[phone in Mercedes is ringing]

Hitler: Eine minuten, eine minuten! [phone stops ringing] Ah! Das facken phone ist ein nuisance phone
Man cycling bike: [Nazi salute] Buenos noches mein Führer
Hitler: Ja ja

Glico Man

jebuz wrote: »

Give me 5 bees for a quarter you'd say

"The metric system is the tool of the devil! My car gets 40 rods to the hogshead and that's the way I likes it"

Professey Chin

*Skinner being burned at the stake*
Skinner: "Im telling you people the earth orbits the sun"
Grandpa: "Burn the witch"
*Man takes photo": "What a scoop!"
Grandpa: "Youve stolen my soul!!"

Vicxas

"Mono means one, and rail means rail. And that concludes our intensive 3 week course"

Jordan 199

Homer: Pornography. I was out buying pornography

Lady von Purple

Jordan 191 wrote: »

Rod: Daddy, what is that red stuff coming from kitty's ears?

Ned: It's rasberry jam.

Todd: ''Dad, should I poke Rod with a sharp pointy thing?''

Jordan 199

Lady von Purple wrote: »

Todd: ''Dad, should I poke Rod with a sharp pointy thing?''

'No son! No siree bob'

NothingMan

You're off the case McGarnagle!

FetchTheGin

NothingMan wrote: »

You're off the case McGarnagle!

You're off your case chief!

What does that mean exactly?

IT MEANS HE GETS RESULTS YOU STUPID CHIEF!

mojesius

'Go on Mojo, Show Marge your happy dance'

Rawhead

HOMER: Oh my God!

LISA: What is it?

HOMER: Tramampoline! Trumbomboline!

Fowler87

FetchTheGin wrote: »

You're off your case chief!

What does that mean exactly?

IT MEANS HE GETS RESULTS YOU STUPID CHIEF!

Is that the one where Homer changes his name to Max Power?

Vicxas

"Must kill Moe, WEEEEEEEEE!!, Must Kill Moe, WEEEEEEEE!!!"

derfderf

Bob Dole: "What the hell is this, some kind of a tube?"

the purple tin

Artie Ziff: Marge I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about my "busy hands".
Not for my sake, but I am so well respected that it would damage the town to hear it. Good night.

Oranage2

Bart: Take em away, boys.

Wiggum: Hey, I'm the chief around here. Take 'em away, toys.

Cops: What'd you say, chief?

Wiggum: Do what the kid said.

Rawhead

Oranage2 wrote: »

Bart: Take em away, boys.

Wiggum: Hey, I'm the chief around here. Take BAKE 'em away, toys.

Cops: What'd you say, chief?

Wiggum: Do what the kid said.

Oh the pain of being a pedant.

Noo

Sit perfectly still, only i may dance.

Funglegunk

Artie Ziff: Hello Marge. Have you heard? I'm stinking rich! Jealous?
Homer: I'll bet you'd trade it all for one night with my wife.
Artie Ziff (saddened): I would...
Homer (intrigued): Hmmm....
Marge: Homer!!!

krudler

one of my absolute favourite episodes is when Homer stops going to church and nearly burns down the house, just for this moment, when he turns on the tv

"c'mon tv give me some of that sweet sweet pep!"
*tv shows a political debate*
"aw...cant win em all*
*tv announcer* "we now interrupt this political party debate to bring you...a football game"
"YES!"
*starts dancing*

FetchTheGin

Homer: Welcome to the internet, my friend, how can I help you?

Comic Book Guy: I'm interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilobaud internet connection to a 1.5 megabit fiber optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router that's compatible with my token ring ethernet LAN configuration?


Homer:Can I have some money now?

Jordan 199

Burns: Dogs are idiots. Think about it Smithers. If I came into your house sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?

Smithers: Uh...if YOU did it sir...?

corblimey

It'll be just like Swiss Family Robinson, only with more cursing. We'll live like kings. Damn hell ass kings!

For Forks Sake

Burns: Yes, I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?

Kid: Uh, I better look in the manual.

Burns: [groans] Oh, the ignorance.

Kid: This book must be out of date: I don't see "Prussia", "Siam", or "autogyro".

Burns: Well, keep looking