Dental plan!

the purple tin

Marge bring me your address book, four beers and my conversation hat.

retalivity

"With a dry cool wit like that I could be an action hero!"
"Did i-uh hear a briefcase opening???"

"They call em fingers, but i aint ever seen them fing




















............................whoa there they go!"

jaffacakesyum

I'm normally not a praying man but if you're up there, please save me Superman!!

krudler

"I'm gonna be up all night Marge, so put on some coffee, then drink it and start making burgers"

Glico Man

[Homer asks Moe for a loan]
Moe: Sure, Homer, I can loan you the money. However, since you have no collateral, I'm gonna have to break your legs in advance.
Homer: Gee, Moe, that seems a bit extreme. Couldn't you just bash my brains in?
Moe: Are you a loan shark? Do you understand how finance works?
[Pulls out a sledgehammer]
Moe: Now, let's do this thing.


[Homer is about to have a triple bypass operation]
Moe: Let's have a minute of silent prayer for our good friend, Homer Simpson.
Barney: [after a short while] How long has it been?
Moe: Six seconds.
Barney: Do we have to start over?
Moe: Hell, no.


Homer: Give me a beer, Moe.
Moe: I don't serve alcohol anymore. This is a cigar bar now.
Homer: Fine. Cohiba me. Leave the humidor.

Seosaimh77

Sucker! Competitive violence! That's why you are here! Hahaha!

ff9999

Apologies if there is already some sort of thread for Simpsons Clips but I thought I'd get one going :cool:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SaeEQWkVJ0

ColeTrain

GRAMPA: That Burns is just what this state needs: Young blood!

AulBiddy

"When I grow up, I'm going to bovine university!"

leggo

"Do you wanna change your name to Homer Junior? The kids can call you Ho-Ju?"

"...I'll get back to you..."

Jordan 199

Marge talking to Bart: Oh Bart... maybe it will turnout he was innocent all along.

Homer: Earth to Marge. Earth to Marge. I was there... the clown's G-I-L-L-T-Y.

the purple tin

Dammit Bob, there were plenty of brand new bombs but you had to go for that retro fifties charm.

Jordan 199

Troy McClure: Dig you own grave and save!

hardybuck

AulBiddy wrote: »

"When I grow up, I'm going to bovine university!"

Troy McClure: Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!

dan1895

What's so un-appealing about listening to your elderly father talking about sex?

My name is URL

dan1895 wrote: »

What's so un-appealing about listening to your elderly father talking about sex?

This is finally, really happening. After years of disappointment with get-rich-quick schemes, I know I'm gonna get rich with this scheme...and quick!

Jordan 199

krudler wrote: »

"be more like...whats your name son?"
"Ruttiger"
"be more like little Ruttiger here"
"his name's Bart"
"It doesnt matter what his name is!"

Here we have a man with an obvious eating disorder...

GLaDOS

dan1895 wrote: »

What's so un-appealing about listening to your elderly father talking about sex?

GRAMPA SIMPSON
Welcome home, son. I broke two lamps and lost all your mail. What's wrong with your wife?

HOMER SIMPSON
Never mind, you wouldn't understand.

GRAMPA SIMPSON
Flu?

HOMER SIMPSON
No.

GRAMPA SIMPSON
Protein deficiency?

GRAMPA SIMPSON
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis?

Lady von Purple

dan1895 wrote: »

What's so un-appealing about listening to your elderly father talking about sex?

"I've had seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeex." :pac:

Dunny

Bart: Mom, my slingshot doesn't fit in these pockets. And these shorts leave nothing to the imagination. These uniforms suck.
Marge: Bart, where do you pick up words like that?
Homer: [on phone] Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked. I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.
Marge: Homer, watch your mouth!
Homer: Aw, I gotta go. My damn wiener kids are listening. [hangs up]

Posy

I used to be with it, then they changed what 'it' was.
Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems weird and scary to me.

Jordan 199

Smithers: Sir, there may never another time to say... I love you sir.

Burns: Oh hot dog. Thank you for making the last few moments on earth socially awkward.

Glico Man

Krusty: Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you’re experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box…

Jordan 199

Kent: Eenie meenie miney moe, is Homer a hero? The answer is No.

Jesus Wept

Hi I'm actor Troy McClure, you might remember me from such filmstrips as 'Locker Room Towel Fight: The Blinding of Larry Driscoll.'

Glico Man

Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!”

Jordan 199

Hello, I'm actor Troy McCLure. You kids might remember me from such educational films as Lead Paint: Delicious but Deadly and Here Comes the Metric System!

Jordan 199

"Hello everybody. I'm Troy McClure, star of such films as P is for Psycho and The Presidents Neck Is Missing. But now I'm here to tell you about a remarkable new invention."


Keep your Troy McClureisms coming along please

krudler

"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational films as "Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun" and "Firecrackers: The Silent Killer""

pokertalk

Dad what are you doing down there?
Just washing my fat guy hat honey!