Dental plan!

corblimey

Here where it says, 'What I got, you gotta get and put it in ya' how about just, 'What I'd like is, I'd like to hug and kiss ya'

Is it just me who sings that version when the original pops up on my brand-name music player?

the purple tin

Marge: Lisa, honey maybe you should relax a little.

Lisa: Relax? I can't relax! nor can I yield, relent or... only two synonyms!
Oh my God! I'm losing my perspicacity [runs away screaming]

Homer: Well, it's always in the last place you look.

sensibleken

Some folk'll never lose a toe but then again some folk'll.
Like Cletus the slack jawed yokel!

Witcher

Homer: I'm Colonel Cool and I'm the captain on this rocket to the stars!

Bart: So are you a colonel or a captain?

Homer: Neither..I'm both..

Jordan 199

Bart: Hello, is Homer there?

Moe: Homer who?

Bart: Homer...Sexual.

Moe: Wait one second, let me check. Homer Sexual? Hey, come on, one of your guys has got to be a homosexual!

Homer: Don't look at me!

Moe: Oh no... [as Bart passes the phone to Skinner] You rotten little punk! If I ever get a hold of you, i'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face off!

Skinner: You'll do WHAT young man?!

Moe: What, wait, wait, who's this?

Skinner: I think the real question is who's this and where is Homer Simpson?!

Moe: Whoa, whoa, sorry, Principal Skinner, sorry. It's a bad connection I thinks. Homer it's for you, I think Bart's in trouble again.

Homer: D'oh!

krudler

"Hypercompuglobalmeganet, junior vice president Homer Simpson speaking, how can I direct your call?"
*hands phone to Marge*
its Patty..

Bobby Baccala

Milhouse singing: When a man loves a woman

Lenny: which one are you the man or the woman?

Carl: Questioning the kids sexuality, well done.

dr gonzo

Stop that! Only i may dance.

Jordan 199

dr gonzo wrote: »

Stop that! Only i may dance.

I didn't do it!

Pudsy33

This is the best AH thread ever imho.

FetchTheGin

Love the twitch at the end.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPIeTzils7E

"No old people, they aren't covered by our insurance".

Jordan 199

sensibleken wrote: »

Some folk'll never lose a toe but then again some folk'll.
Like Cletus the slack jawed yokel!

Some folks'll never eat a skunk
But then again some folks'll
Like Cletus the jack-slawed yokel

FTGFOP

^So good. Needs the music too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xn_MLtoyO2E

(sorry for quality)

kieran26

Man alive

there are MEN alive in here!

Jordan 199

Mr. Burns talking to his bees:

Honey. Honey for your children. Fools!

This here Smithers is the queen. That's you.

corblimey

Lisa: Dad, women won't like being shot in the face
Homer: Women will like what I tell them to like

Amalgam

Skinner: Mmmm. This dessert is exquisite. What do you call it?

Krabappel: Applesauce.

Skinner: [chuckles] Oh, of course. I'm sorry, I, I don't get out to restaurants much.

Krabappel: That's okay. I don't entertain much. Usually it's just soup for one, salad for one, wine for three.

qwerty93

Homer Simpson: Yeah, that's right, Barney. This year, I invested in
pumpkins. They've been going up the whole month of October and I got a feeling they're going to peak right around January. Then, bang! That's when I'll cash in.



a few days later


Homer Simpson's Broker: Homer, you knuckle-beak, I told you a hundred times: you've got to sell your pumpkin futures before Hallowe'en! Before!

Say Your Number

From The P.T.A Disbands:
The finger thing means the taxes

Padkir

FetchTheGin wrote: »

Love the twitch at the end.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPIeTzils7E

"No old people, they aren't covered by our insurance".

It's good good good good, good good good!!

Glico Man

FetchTheGin wrote: »

Love the twitch at the end.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPIeTzils7E

"No old people, they aren't covered by our insurance".

Little Girl: Unky Moe?
Moe: (struggling to control himself) Whaaat... is it, sweetheart?
Little Girl: My sodie is too cold. My teef hurt!
Moe: Aw, your "teef" hurt, huh? Your "teef" hurt? Well that's too freakin' bad! You hear me? I'll tell you where you can put your freakin' "sodie", too!!

Todd: Ow! My freakin' ears!

jd007

You can't spell dishonourable without honourable

Precious flower

Shopkeeper: I]Homer has agreed to purchase a Krusty doll for Bart's birthday[/I Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Ooh, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free frogurt!
Homer: That's good.
Shopkeeper: The frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings.
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
I]Homer looks puzzled[/I
Shopkeeper: ...That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?

Seosaimh77

Precious flower wrote: »

Shopkeeper: I]Homer has agreed to purchase a Krusty doll for Bart's birthday[/I Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Ooh, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free frogurt!
Homer: That's good.
Shopkeeper: The frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings.
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
I]Homer looks puzzled[/I
Shopkeeper: ...That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?

suddenly want to watch Gremlins now!!

Back OT:

Otto! There's a gremlin on the side of the bus!

Jordan 199

The Big Book of British Smiles.

Ridley

"Your house is blocking construction for our new Matlock Expressway. However, I am a fair man. You will have 72 hours to vacate. At that time, we will blow up your house and any remaining Simpsons."

Jordan 199

Marge: Sting, you look tired. Maybe you should take a rest.

Sting: Not while one of my fans needs me.

Marge: Actually I don't know if I've ever heard Bart play one of your albums...

Homer: Shhh! Marge, he's a good digger.

garyc1987

"i call the big one bitey"

mackg

Ray Patterson: Sorry I'm late everybody, somebody tampered with my brakes.

Homer: Well you should have been early!

Brendog

Pick a bar?

What the hell is pick a bar??