Dental plan!

paddy kerins

Needs more dog

Jordan 199

Homer: Wait a minute, Skinner. How do we know some principal over in France isin't pulling the same scam you are?

Skinner: Well, for one thing, you wouldn't be getting a French boy. You would be getting an Albanian.

Homer: You mean all white with pink eyes?

Jordan 199

Policeman Lou: Lets see your licence, pal.

Otto: No can do. Never got one. But if you need proof of my identity, I wrote my name on my underwear. (Otto looks at the underwear he's wearing). Oh, wait, these aren't mine.

Skinner: Well, that tears it. Until you get a licence and wear your own underwear, mister, you are suspended without pay.

Otto: ...who's going to drive the bus?

Skinner: I drove an all-terain vehicle in Da Nang. I think I can handle it.

ItsAWindUp

Homer: Would you excuse us, Milton?

Milhouse: It's Mil-HOUSE.

Homer: Yeah, and your father's no-HOUSE. Now scram.

Degsy

Sideshow Bob: Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?

TO_ARTHUR!

Superintendant Chalmers sees Principal Skinner's kitchen on fire]
Superintendant Chalmers: Good Lord, what is happening in there?
Principal Skinner: The Aurora Borealis?
Superintendant Chalmers: The Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Principal Skinner: Yes.
Superintendant Chalmers: May I see it?
Principal Skinner: No.

Xivilai

Grampa - "We could really use a pet in the Home since we accidentally killed that smartmouth bird"

talla10

Moe ; Ok you've had your fun fellas but if your gonna beat up my friend in my bar its gonna be a four drink minimum.

======

Homer; Wow its Moe the guy from the ad.

Moe; Right this way homer

Homer; And he knows my name!

Dunny

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lucp0lPgRq1qztjn5o1_500.png

Smokin Joe: Webster’s dictionary defines excellence as “the state or condition of being excellent.”

Jordan 199

This thread is damn addictive. I love it

jd007

Repairman: You know the problem here is water leakage, if you just buy a 50 cent washer.
Homer: I have a better idea, GET THE HELL OUT!
Repairman: Look, I've got some washers in my truck, I'll give you one.
Homer: Marge, get my gun.

*Repairman slowly backs away*

Degsy

Sideshow Bob(again) The following members of the Simpson family will not be killed by me today...Homer and Marge,Lisa and Maggie..that is all.

Local-womanizer

"Wooh, slow down, this sidewalk is for normal walkin, not that fancy walkin!"

Jesus Wept

Barney: {Well, look at the bright side, Moe: you still got us.}
Moe: {Yeah. Yeah, you know, that -- that actually makes me feel a
little better.}
Homer: {Why? That was the problem in the first place: you were going
broke because we were your only customers. Wasn't that the
problem in the first place? That you were going broke? Moe?
Moe? Hey, Moe. Oh! You're thinking about all the money you
blew, aren't you. [Moe nods] What was it? Fifty, sixty
thousand dollars?
Moe, look: maybe it would help if you went over all the mistakes
you made from the beginning. Moe?}
Moe: {[exasperated] What?!}
Homer: {Let me get a pen.}

corblimey

Kent Brockman: While we speak in a well-educated manner they tend to use low-brow expressions like "oh yeah?" and "come here a minute!"
Homer: Oh yeah? They think they're better than us, huh? Bart, come here a minute
Bart: You come here a minute!
Homer: Oh yeah?

Fowler87

Grampa: The lamps running away
Bart: Thats my dog man!
Grampa: So long lamp

Jordan 199

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yGJGTjV2WE

BlimpyBoy

Homer: The doll's trying to kill me and the toaster's been laughing at me!

the purple tin

Milhouse: I checked around... the girls are calling you Fatty Fat Fat Fat and Nelson's planning to pull down your pants. But, nobody's trying to kill you.

Bart: Ah, that's good.

[Nelson pulls down Barts pants]

Group Of Girls: Fatty fat fat fat, fatty fatty fat fat!

Jordan 199

"Gunna paint a wagon
Gunna paint it good
We ain't braggin'
Were gonna coat that that wood."

BlimpyBoy

Sign: Do not touch. - Willy

Homer: Do not touch willy. Good advice!

Nephinbeg

Principal Skinner: Superintendent, we made the front page today! [holds up the newspaper "Awful School is Awful Rich", covering word "Awful" in headline]
Superintendent Chalmers: Uh, what's that say under your hand there?

Principal Skinner: Hmm? Oh, it's an unrelated article.

Superintendent Chalmers: It's an unrelated article?

Principal Skinner: [nodding] Mm hmm.

Superintendent Chalmers: Within the banner headline?

Principal Skinner: Yes. [puts the newspaper down]

later on when Mr. Burns is shot

Marge: I don't think we'll ever know who did this. Everyone in town's a suspect.

Hibbert: Heh heh heh. Well, I couldn't possibly solve this mystery. Can...you? [points at camera] [camera pulls back to reveal that he's pointing at Wiggum]

Chief Wiggum: Yeah, I'll give it a shot, I mean, you know, it's my job, right?

Seosaimh77

Jordan 191 wrote: »

"Gunna paint a wagon
Gunna paint it good
We ain't braggin'
Were gonna coat that that wood."

*in gravelly voice that I can't stop talking in since reading the first post

Gunna paint that wagon
Gunna paint it fine
Gunna use oil based paint
Coz the wood in pine

Dunny

Purple monkey dishwasher

Jordan 199

Troy McClure: "Live, from beautiful Laughlin, Nevada: It's the Miss American Girl Pageant! Brought to you by Meryl Streep's 'Versatility.' Smell like Streep...for cheap!"

Degsy

Ralph (taunting bart over Homer's dramatic weight gain):
I hear your daddy went into a restaurant and ate all the food in the restaurant and then they had to close the restaurant.

Jordan 199

Skinner: Lyme Disease is spread by small parasites, called ticks. When a diseased tick attaches itself to you and begins sucking your blood...

Miss Hoover: Oh...

Skinner: Malignant spirochetes infect your bloodstream, eventually spreading to your spinal fluid and into the brain.

Miss Hoover: The brain? Oh, dear God!

corblimey

Love Ralph

Bart: Your dad is chief of police, doesn't he have any cool police stuff?
Ralph: Just in his closet, but he said I'm not allowed to go in there
Bart: Did he say I'm not allowed to go in there?
Ralph: Yes

Look in the tunk

At my house we call fires 'uh-ohs'

sensibleken

what is it you kids find so fascinating about my forbidden closet of mystery

Brendog

"You will find happiness with a new love" aw even the Chinese are against me. Whats the point? I can't fight faith....


"Hey, we're out of these 'New Love' cookies!"
"Well open the 'Stick your wife' barrell"