Dental plan!

the purple tin

Loved the really crappy job they did on rebuilding Neds house

Apu: Now, this is the only room with electricity, but it has too much electricity. So you might want to...I don't know wear a hat or something.

Ned: Something seems wrong with this hallway.
[Ned opens tiny door to reveal Barney's face]
Barney: Come on in! It's your master bedroom.
[Ned slams the tiny door]
Barney: Ow! My nose!

Jordan 199

the purple tin wrote: »

Loved the really crappy job they did on rebuilding Neds house

The house that love built

When Ned went into the kitchen and found the toilet next to the fridge, he quizzed Clancy Wiggum as to why it was there, and Clancy replied: "did you ever try to lugg a toilet* upstairs?"

*I don't remember what weight the toilet was, but I remember Chief Wiggum saying it.

Jordan 199

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7llLFbV97bs

coonecb1

McBain: My eyes! Ze goggles do nothing!

Bubblefett

"but- but- but- the pancho"

Jordan 199

Female commando: You certainly broke up that meeting.

McBain: Right now I'm thinking of holding another meeting...in bed.

McBain will return in "You have the right to remain dead."

Joe_Dull

Homer: Ho ho ho! Merry... line?
Bart: Christmas.
Homer: Let me see that!

corblimey

Do not be alarmed. Continue swimming naked. Aw, come on! Continue! C'mon! Aww. All right, Lou, open fire!

Riddle101

Homer: I have a solution to all our problems. Marge, kids, go upstairs and pack your bags, because we're all going to start a new life..... Under the sea.
*cue music*
marge: That's your solution to every problem, live under the sea. It's not going to happen.
Homer: Not with that attitude.

Abe Simpson: Boo! Bring on Sha na na!*holds up sign saying Bowzer for President*

krudler

"put out an apb on a suspect driving a blue.....car? is heading in the direction of...hey whats the name of that place that sells chilli? suspect is hatless! repeat hatless!"

"I hope they throw his hatless ass in jail"

Jordan 199

Herb Powell meeting the Simpson family for the first time.

Herb whispering to Homer: All born in wedlock?

Homer whispering to Herb: Yeah, though the boy was a close call.

Jordan 199

"Pink belly, pink belly, pink belly, pink belly."

Bart: Alright, that belly ain't gonna get any pinker.

Millhouse gets up on his feet, thanks Bart and gets a wedgie.

dan1895

Mr. Burns: Their flower power is no match for my glower power

talla10

Ms Hoover; Then John Wilkes Booth entered the theatre, drew his gun...(Bell for summer holidays rings everybody runs out).

Wendell; Was President Lincoln ok?

MS Hoover; He was fine.

Wendell leaves

Ralph; Ms Hoover?

MS Hoover; Go home Ralph

======

Lisa; Mom someone has to put a stop to this.

Marge; I know Lisa but your father can be very sensitive. Remember when i made fun of his hat? He sulked for a week and then closed his detective agency.

coonecb1

Marge: You've worked hard at the bowling alley. Why don't you ask for a
raise?
Homer: Yeah, a raise. I've never been good enough at any job to deserve one before, but I'm damn good at this one. That's it: I'm going to march right up to Al and say --

I]at the alley[/I
Homer: Steve! I mean, Al! I think I deserve a raise.
Al: Aw, you're a hard worker, and I'd like to give you a raise, but the alley just ain't doing enough business to pay that kind of money.
Homer: How about...if I triple the business? Then could I get a raise?
Al: Well, yeah, but --
Homer: I]motions him to stop[/I
I]shot of Homer reading "Advanced Marketing" at home[/I
I]shot of garbage can containing "Advanced Marketing" and Homer reading "Basic Marketing"[/I
I]shot of both books in garbage and Homer looking up "Marketing" in the dictionary[/I

Homer stares at a bowling ball for a while then leaps forward: "Of course!"

Homer:I]firing a shotgun into the air repeatedly[/I Bowling! Bowling here! Get your Bowling! Who's ready?! Bowling!

corblimey

Homer: When will Marge remember us?
Dr. Hibbert: It's hard to say. With retrograde amnesia such as this, the patient could forget years and years of her life. You just have to keep jogging her memory until it works
Homer: Awww! Jogging?
Dr. Hibbert: I didn't say you should be jogging
Homer: Sweet!
Dr. Hibbert: Although you should be jogging
Homer: Awww! Jogging?

Jordan 199

Scratchy: Lemonade?

Itchy: Please.

Scratchy: I made it just for you.

Itchy: You're my best friend. Mmm. This really hits the spot.

Scratchy: Doesn't it though?

Itchy: You make really good lemonade, Scratchy.

Scratchy: Thankyou, Itchy.

Mr Trade In

President Kennedy: If I may,Helen, I'd like to respond to your question with yet another flip remark.

Young Homer: Wow. Look at me er uh Mom, I am er uh President Kennedy.

Young Mona: Oh Abe maybe our Homer could grow up to be President some day.

Young Abe: You, President? Ha, this is the greatest country in the world. We've got a whole system set up to prevent people like you ever becoming President. Now quit your daydreaming melon-head.

Riddle101

Mr Trade In wrote: »

President Kennedy: If I may,Helen, I'd like to respond to your question with yet another flip remark.

Young Homer: Wow. Look at me er uh Mom, I am er uh President Kennedy.

Young Mona: Oh Abe maybe our Homer could grow up to be President some day.

Young Abe: You, President? Ha, this is the greatest country in the world. We've got a whole system set up to prevent people like you ever becoming President. Now quit your daydreaming melon-head.

Current times
Old Abe: Quit your daydreaming melon-head.

the purple tin

Singer: The deficit rag, oh yes the deficit rag! Those budget gaps can be a 12-digit drag! I'm telling you, that's the deficit, they really made a mess of it, oh that's the deficit ra-a-ag!

talla10

coonecb1 wrote: »

Marge: You've worked hard at the bowling alley. Why don't you ask for a
raise?
Homer: Yeah, a raise. I've never been good enough at any job to deserve one before, but I'm damn good at this one. That's it: I'm going to march right up to Al and say --

I]at the alley[/I
Homer: Steve! I mean, Al! I think I deserve a raise.
Al: Aw, you're a hard worker, and I'd like to give you a raise, but the alley just ain't doing enough business to pay that kind of money.
Homer: How about...if I triple the business? Then could I get a raise?
Al: Well, yeah, but --
Homer: I]motions him to stop[/I
I]shot of Homer reading "Advanced Marketing" at home[/I
I]shot of garbage can containing "Advanced Marketing" and Homer reading "Basic Marketing"[/I
I]shot of both books in garbage and Homer looking up "Marketing" in the dictionary[/I

Homer stares at a bowling ball for a while then leaps forward: "Of course!"

Homer:I]firing a shotgun into the air repeatedly[/I Bowling! Bowling here! Get your Bowling! Who's ready?! Bowling!

Lisa; Mom!! Tell dad to tell the story properly

Marge; Thats was really happened

Jordan 199

Al: Homer, did you put your head into the ball polishing machine?

Homer: No.

Padkir

Jordan 191 wrote: »

Al: Homer, did you put your head into the ball polishing machine?

Homer: No.

Pffft, amateur!

It's the shine-o ball-o!!:D:p

Jordan 199

Padkir wrote: »

Pffft, amateur!

It's the shine-o ball-o!!:D:p

Lol, good man

Also, in the same Simpsons as Homer was leaving after he was fired:

Homer: Don't worry Jimmy, one day we'll make it to California.

Jimmy: We sure will Homer.

Bubblefett

Marge, is Lisa in Camp Granada?

corblimey

He unholied the holy water!

the purple tin

[The Simpsons suprise Barbara Bush in the bath]
Barbara Bush: Do you mind!?

Lisa: Barbara Bush!

Barbara Bush: Ugh! You have those damn badges.
OK, this tub was installed in 1894...

Jordan 199

When Smithers sees Mr. Burns drowned in the bath he says:

"Why do the good always die young."

Jordan 199

Chief Wiggum is in bed with his wife watching TV when the picture goes off.

Chief Wigguim: "Awwwww!!"

TV Announcer: "Your cable TV is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless."

Chief Wiggum: (peers under the cover) "Well, I'll be damned."

talla10

Marge; Look! The house numbers are spelt with letters.

Homer; Get used to it honey!! Soon we'll be spelling everything with letters.