Dental plan!

Jordan 199

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3OpgwpgqXA

krudler

coonecb1 wrote: »

Marge: You've worked hard at the bowling alley. Why don't you ask for a
raise?
Homer: Yeah, a raise. I've never been good enough at any job to deserve one before, but I'm damn good at this one. That's it: I'm going to march right up to Al and say --

I]at the alley[/I
Homer: Steve! I mean, Al! I think I deserve a raise.
Al: Aw, you're a hard worker, and I'd like to give you a raise, but the alley just ain't doing enough business to pay that kind of money.
Homer: How about...if I triple the business? Then could I get a raise?
Al: Well, yeah, but --
Homer: I]motions him to stop[/I
I]shot of Homer reading "Advanced Marketing" at home[/I
I]shot of garbage can containing "Advanced Marketing" and Homer reading "Basic Marketing"[/I
I]shot of both books in garbage and Homer looking up "Marketing" in the dictionary[/I

Homer stares at a bowling ball for a while then leaps forward: "Of course!"

Homer:I]firing a shotgun into the air repeatedly[/I Bowling! Bowling here! Get your Bowling! Who's ready?! Bowling!

one of the best episodes ever, just for the end. "do it for her"

WoollyRedHat

Moe: Homer, lighten up! You're making happy hour bitterly ironic.

the purple tin

Barney: Well I gotta go. I've got a date with that lady who's always shouting things outside the drugstore.

Moe: She told me she was washing her hair tonight.

snubbleste

Nelson: Not so fast, back it up or the photocopier eats it
Skinner: OMG we've got a thirty year mortgage on that photocopier

Jordan 199

Kirk: You're letting me go?

Cracker Exec: Kirk, crackers are a family food, happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without.

Kirk: So that's it after 20 years? "So long. Good luck?"

Cracker Exec: I don't recall saying "good luck."

Riddle101

Todays episodes were New York and Lisa's New Sax. A lot of great quotes in both.

City of New York Vs Homer
Lenny: Hey, let's go to the girls college!
Carl: No! Playboy Mansion, Playboy Mansion!
Homer Simpson: It's my car, and I say we're going to the Lost City of Gold!
Barney Gumble: I]angry[/I Oh, that's just drunk talk!
I]dreamy[/I
Barney Gumble: Sweet, beautiful drunk talk...


Homer Simpson: I]drunk[/I Goodnight, Barney. Don't forget to bring back my car back tomorrow. Just slide it under the door.

Bart Simpson: When I grow up, I wanna be in the Betty Ford Center.
Marge Simpson: You'd better start saving now, it's very expensive.

Homer: That's it. I'm getting out of this town alive if it kills me

Homer Simpson: Hey, eveybody, I'm Peter Pantsless!

Lisa's New Sax
Homer Simpson: Now son, on your first day of school, I'd like to pass on the words of advice my father gave me.
Grampa Simpson: I]in Homer's mind, as he remembers[/I Homer, you're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly! If a strange man offers you a ride, I say, take it!
Homer Simpson: Lousy traumatic childhood!


Dr. J. Loren Pryor: Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, there's nothing to be alarmed about. Public school can be intimidating to a young child, particularly one with as many flamboyantly homosexual tendencies as your son.
Marge Simpson: Bart's gay?
Dr. J. Loren Pryor: Bart?
I]looks at the file[/I
Dr. J. Loren Pryor: Ah, whoo, wrong file.
I]puts the file, labeled "Milhouse Van Houten," back[/I


Homer Simpson: Oh, my father gave me beer as a child.'Til wrapped my little red wagon around a tree.
Barney Gumble: I]Flashback to Homer and Barney as boys[/I Let's never drink again.
Homer Simpson: I]Flashback to the present, Homer has a Duff beer in his hand[/I And we never did.
I]Drinks it[/I

Old School Vietnam Skinner:D
Bart: Skinner is a nut, he has a rubber butt!
Principal Skinner: Young man, I can assure you my posterior is nothing more than flesh, bone, and that metal plate I got in 'Nam.

coonecb1

krudler wrote: »

one of the best episodes ever, just for the end. "do it for her"

Yeah, that bit melts my heart every time I see it. God, I love the Simpsons

Jordan 199

Riddle101 wrote: »

Bart Simpson: When I grow up, I wanna be in the Betty Ford Center.
Marge Simpson: You'd better start saving now, it's very expensive.

Kickin' It: A Musical Journey through the Betty Ford Centre.

Lisa: Shh! They're strapping down Liza Minnelli.

corblimey

Master: Approach, my sons. You may ask me three questions
Apu: That's great, because all I need is one...
Homer: Are you really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart?
Master: Yes
Homer: Really?
Master: Yes
Homer: You?
Master: Yes. I hope this has been enlightening for you
Apu: But I must...
Master: Thank you, come again
Apu: But...
Master: Thank you, come again

im invisible

the purple tin wrote: »

Singer: The deficit rag, oh yes the deficit rag! Those budget gaps can be a 12-digit drag! I'm telling you, that's the deficit, they really made a mess of it, oh that's the deficit ra-a-ag!

singer: the trading gap shuffle
we're in a heap of trouble
doing the trading gap shuffle!

Bart: he already sang this song!

Marge: no, that was about the budget gap. This is the trading gap.

the purple tin

Now I don't want you to worry, class. These tests will have no effect on your grade.
They merely determine your future social status and financial success. [looks at Bart] If any.

Jordan 199

Bart looking through his telescope sees Flanders dig a grave in his back garden.

Bart: Uh, uh, no. This can't be what it looks like. There's got to be some other explanation.

Flanders: I wish there was some other explanation for this. But there isin't. I'm a murderer! I'm a murderer!

Bart: Then that's not the real Ned Flanders.

Flanders: I'm a mur-diddley-urdler.

Bart: If that's not Flanders, he's done his homework.

Mr Trade In

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Marge:That's because you were drunk!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

TV Quiz: The capital of North Dakota is named after which German leader?
Homer: Hitler!

im invisible

Mr Trade In wrote: »

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Marge:That's because you were drunk!

homer: and how!

Jordan 199

Patty to Marge: Your blood pressure is off the chart.

Selma to Marge: And I don't like this urine sample one bit.

Patty to Marge: You're heading for a nervous breakdown. You need Brad Goodman.

davetherave

Ahhh the one where Mr Burns gets a load of ringers in for the softball team is on. Possibly the best episode ever.


Homer Simpson: Hey Clemens, did I make the team?
Roger Clemens: You sure did.
Homer Simpson: Woo-hoo! In your face, Strawberry!
Roger Clemens: Wait a minute. Are you Ken Griffey Jr.?
Homer Simpson: No.
Roger Clemens: Sorry. Didn't mean to get your hopes up.

Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?


Barney: [in Moe's Tavern] And I say, that England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
Barney: Lord Palmerston!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
Barney: Okay, you asked for it, Boggs!
[punches him out]
Moe: Yeah, that's showing him, Barn'!
[disbelieving]
Moe: Pitt the Elder...
Barney: Lord Palmerston!
[punches him out]

Jordan 199

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqfxmWbelcQ

pokertalk

my cats breath smells like cat food

J. Marston

davetherave wrote: »

Ahhh the one where Mr Burns gets a load of ringers in for the softball team is on. Possibly the best episode ever.


Homer Simpson: Hey Clemens, did I make the team?
Roger Clemens: You sure did.
Homer Simpson: Woo-hoo! In your face, Strawberry!
Roger Clemens: Wait a minute. Are you Ken Griffey Jr.?
Homer Simpson: No.
Roger Clemens: Sorry. Didn't mean to get your hopes up.

Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?


Barney: [in Moe's Tavern] And I say, that England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
Barney: Lord Palmerston!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
Barney: Okay, you asked for it, Boggs!
[punches him out]
Moe: Yeah, that's showing him, Barn'!
[disbelieving]
Moe: Pitt the Elder...
Barney: Lord Palmerston!
[punches him out]

Lisa: You stink Strawberry! We want Home-run Homer!

Bart and Lisa: Daaaarryl. Daaaaryl. Daaaaryl. Daaaaryl.

Marge: Children, that's not very nice.

Lisa: Mom, they're professional athletes. They're used to this sort of thing. It rolls right off their backs.

Darryl Strawberry:

Brendog

Past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent.

Brendog

Principal Skinner.

Cons: Possible Homer Sexual

Brendog

Latex condo-

Boy I'd like to live in one of them!

Jordan 199

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gugbMw4LigY

corblimey

Homer: Look Barney, see the row of tiny lights up there? The middle one is my house. Someone must've left the porch light on.
Barney: Hey, that's rough pal. (on the phone) Hello, Marge? You left your damned porch light on! Homer isn't made of money you know!

the purple tin

Skinner: So: we meet again, Mad Magazine.

Bart: How do you know it's from Mad?

Skinner: I]walking to his window[/I The year was 1968. We were on recon in a steaming Mekong delta. An overheated private removed his
flak jacket, revealing a T-shirt with an iron-on sporting the
Mad slogan "Up With Mini-Skirts".
Well, we all had a good laugh, even though I didn't quite
understand it. But our momentary lapse of concentration
allowed Charlie to get the drop on us.

I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist
on a thin stew of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and
four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it
here in the States, but they just can't get the spices right

im invisible

Jordan 191 wrote: »

'any' key

Homer:
"Vent radioactive gas?" I]types[/I Y E S.
"Sound alertness horn?" Y E S. I]it sounds in the distance[/I
"Decalcify calcium ducts?" Well, give me a Y, give me a...Hey!
All I have to type is Y. I]to Marge[/I Hey, Miss Doesn't-find-me-
attractive-sexually-anymore: I just tripled my productivity!


Marge: Good. Good for you.

Welsh Megaman

Todd Flanders - ''Mr. Simpson, you dropped your porkchop.''

Jordan 199

Homer on the phone: You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.