Dental plan!

corblimey

Look Smithers, the money and a very stupid man are still here

talla10

Wiggum Dreaming...

Lisa; Chief Wiggum Dont eat the clues

Wiggum; Eh?

Lisa; This suit burns better. Look.

Wiggum; Not following you.

Lisa; Burns Suit!! Burns Suit!!

Wiggum; What?

Lisa; Check Burns suit!!

Wiggum wakes up

Eddie; Ive had a thought Chief. Maybe we should check the suit burns was wearing when he got shot.

Wiggum; Did you have the same backward talk dream with the flaming cards?

Eddie; I'll drive.

=====

Bad cops, bad cops, bad cops, bad cops,
Springfield cops are on the take,
But what do you expect for the money we make,
Wether we're in a car or on a horse,
We don't mind using excessive force
Bad cops, bad cops, bad cops bad cops...

Sgt Hartman

Homer Moe, I have a friend named, er, Joey..JoeJoe..Junior Shabadoo.
Moe That's the stupidest name I've ever heard.

Guy runs out of bar crying

Barney "HEY, JOEY JOEJOE!!"

the purple tin

Homer: Marge. You know that batting this lightbulb is the only thing that cheers me up after getting rid of those million dollar greyhounds.

Paparazzo

crushproof wrote: »

Awesome.

"Billy is DEAD McGarnagle...They slit his throat from ear to ear."

"HEY! I'm trying to eat my lunch here."

McGarnagle was great, why did they drop him?

Chief: "Well you got the man McGarnagle, but did you have to break so many chairs?"
McGarnagle: "Why don't you tell me chief, you had a pretty good view from behind that desk."
Chief: "That's it McGarnagle! You're off the case!"
McGarnagle: "You're off your case chief."
Chief: "What does that mean!"
Homer: "It means he gets results you stupid chief!"

Jordan 199

Michael: Hi. I'm Michael Jackson, from The Jacksons.

Homer: Hi. I'm Homer Simpson, from the Simpsons.

Glico Man

Jordan 191 wrote: »

Michael: Hi. I'm Michael Jackson, from The Jacksons.

Homer: Hi. I'm Homer Simpson, from the Simpsons.

Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins

Homer Simpson, smiling politely

Susie_Q

HandsomeDivil wrote: »

Young Carl: Y'know what I'm really looking forward to? Have you heard about this internet thing?

Young Lenny: The Internet?

Carl: Yeah, its the inner netting they invented to line swim trunks. It provides a comforting snugness.

I think I just logged on to my internet.

corblimey

Burns: Somebody up there likes me, Smithers
Smithers: Somebody down here likes you too, sir

the purple tin

Burns: What do you think, Smithers?

Smithers: I think women and sea-men don't mix.

Burns: We know what you think!

Jev/N

Anthony Kiedis: You told our agent this place holds 30,000 people.
Moe: It does. We had 30,000 here last night. Now play. The audience is getting restless.
Barney: [flicking a lighter] We want chilly-willy. We want chilly-willy.

dagdha

"Soul — come on, Milhouse, there's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the Boogie Man or Michael Jackson,"

The Vigilant Citizen

I stayed up all night dying my underwear!

http://dublin.gumtree.ie/c-Community-other-Partners-in-Justice-W0QQAdIdZ351968425

the purple tin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJEcqxgbbJU

Vanderbilt

...And this racing stripe here I feel is pretty sharp. [Mr Burns] Agreed. First prize!

Conall Cernach

Marge: So what was it like at the Flanders' house?
Homer: Yeah, gimme all the dirt.
Lisa: Let's see. Dirt... dirt... well, there wasn't really much dirt.
Bart: There was a bunch of old paint cans in the garage, though.
Homer: Old painty-can Ned.

Riddle101

During the "Bad Man" episode
Ashley: You grabbed me in your car
Homer: Oh that, no i was just gramming a gumi Venus di Milo that was stuck to your pants.
Angry Woman: yeah right, that the oldest excuse in the book.
Homer: Come on i'm a decent guy
*Wind blows so his housecoat comes up, revealing his shame*


In the movie about Homer Simpson in the "Bad Man" episode.

*Homer's character is driving his car wrecklessly*
Ashley: No Mr Simpson a cat is a living creature.
Homer: I don't care.
*runs over cat*

*Later when he stop*
Homer: Now it's time to grab me some sweet....
Ashley: Stop! if you touch me i'll scream so loud the whole country will hear.
Homer: All the way to the man in the white house. haha, not likely.
Ashley: *screams*

BTW, that Bad Man episode is definetly one of my favorite Simpsons episodes.

corblimey

Herbert: Hey Homer, how's your car coming?
Homer: Oh, fine. They were putting in an onboard something-or-other and rack-and-peanut steering

talla10

Burns ; If there is a fire call this number.

Marge; 911?

Burns; Yes They're new but there good.

========

Reporter; Principal Skinner You've been referred to as 'the funny one'. Is that description accuarte?

Skinner; Yes. It is.

Everybody laugh!

LambsEye

“I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…”

LambsEye

Vanderbilt

...Or, how about little Lisa Simpson? She'll have no reason to play the blues in this snappy ensemble topped of with a saucy French beret that seems to scream, [French accent] "Silence!"

Hockney

Abe: I thought I recognised you - I gave you a plate of corn muffins back in 1947, to paint my chicken coop. And you never did it!

Chester: Those corn muffins were LOUSY.

Abe: PAINT MY CHICKEN COOP!

Chester: MAKE ME!

Jordan 199

Chief Wiggum: Hey, where is Sideshow Bob and that guy who eats people and takes their faces?

Normal looking prisoner: I'm right here, Chief!

Wiggum: Oh. Then where's Sideshow Bob?

Another prisoner: Uh, he ran off.

Wiggum: Oh, great. Well...if anyone asks, I beat him to death, okay?

corblimey

Bart: Hey, Martin, tell him what we do with squealers.
Martin: I don't know. Is it worse than what you do with people who have to go to the bathroom?

Jordan 199

Insurance Agent: Now, before I give you this cheque, one more question. This place "Moe's" you left just before the accident. This is a business of some kind?

Homer's brain: Don't tell him you were at the bar! But what else is open at night?

Homer: It's a Pornography store. I was buying pornography.

Momer's brain: Heh heh heh. I would'a never thought of that.

reap-a-rat

Todd: Oh my gosh! Look at Rod!
Rod: [stuck horizontally inside a tree] I have a headache...

irish_man

Frank Grimes (to Homer) : If you lived in any country in the world you would have starved to death
Bart: He's got you there Dad.

Vanderbilt

Look at them, Smithers, enjoying their embezzlement. [Smithers] I have a much uglier word for it, Sir: misappropriation.

corblimey

Meditations on Turning Eight, by Lisa Simpson

I had a cat named Snowball
She died! She died!
Mom said she was sleeping
She lied! She lied!
Why oh why is my cat dead?
Couldn't that Chrysler hit me instead?

I had a hamster named Snuffy
He died!...