Film reviews, AH Style.

OutlawPete

Citizen Kane.

Boy loves to use his sled, lots of fun and we see him smile.

Boy stops smiling, grows old and becomes a pompous git.

Pompous git rabbits on for what will seem like four hours before he will then start to cry and whine about rosebud, oh whatever could it mean?

Well, let me think .. the only time we seen him smile was on the sled, could it be that?

Is the sled called Rosebud by any chance???

No, never .. greatest film of all time so!!!

dezzyd

Dean09 wrote: »

FERRIS BUELLERS DAY OFF = AWESOME!!

E4 + 1. Showing right now

CrazyRabbit

I'd give a review of Primer, but after 6 years, I still haven't figured out the whole movie, so a review is premature.

enda1

There will be blood:

There is blood, and oil.

sensibleken

Killer clowns from outer space - some killing is done by clowns who happen to be from space.

Death bed, the bed that eats - Theres a bed, it eats people. Just stay out of the god damned bed!

Man about dog - for two hours a man runs around a dog

Whats eating Gilbert grape - turns out its necrotizing fascitis

demakinz

Back door bangers #4

not as good as back door bangers #3

danniemcq

The Never Ending Story

It Ends

Rambo First Blood

Actually the second Movie

FruitLover

demakinz wrote: »

Back door bangers #4

not as good as back door bangers #3

Bloody sequels.

Sanjuro

Seaneh wrote: »

Tom Cruise movies.

Top gun: He's a pilot. a really good pilot. he has a crisis of confidence, meets a woman, falls for her, becomes the best pilot in the world.

Cocktail: He's a bartender. a pretty good bartender. He has a crisis of confidence, meets a girl, falls for her and becomes the best bartender that ever did live.

Days of thunder: He's a nascar driver, a pretty good nascar drives, he has a crisis of confidence, meet a girl, falls for her and becomes the best nascar driver in the wrold.


rinse and repeat as required.

Magnolia: He's a self-help pick-up artist guru. A pretty good self-help pick up artist guru. He has a crisis of confidence, meets his.... dad.... and....

.... how's this supposed to work again?

_feedback_

Harry Brown is not brown




Good movie!

fkiely

Hitman - Missing an s from it's title.

Kasabian

elviscostello wrote: »

Harry Brown is not brown




Good movie!

Great movie.

Kasabian

fkiely wrote: »

Hitman - Missing an s from it's title.

Hitsman

--Kaiser--

Hot Tub Time Machine: Does exactly what it says on the tin

klose

bonerm wrote: »

Good movie. I got it in a boxset with Marathon Man, Galaxy Quest and Ghost of Mars.

Ah ghost of mars, great flick! seemleess plot, great acting and a story line that really brings you in. You can relate to all charecters, of course........................................

:pac:

inforfun

Thread reminds me to this website

Some clever ones there.

Kiith

Let The Right One In - "Subtitles! **** tha!"

klose

Giant octopus versus mega shark.

surely the greatest film off all time, great effects also. The plot is loosely bound about a story of this huge octopus and this awesome shark.

awesomeness

bonerm

Pan's Labyrinth : Pants labyrinth.

rhythm90

Trainspotting: Not a single train in the film.

Carlito's Way: Carlito gets his own way. Of course.

Brothers: War story bout two lads who're brothers.

Robin Hood: Russell Crowe steals from the rich and gives to the poor in a proper dodgy accent.

Intermission: Tae an' brown sauce. Delish'. Scumbag Colin Farrell.

The 40 Year Old Virgin: ehm..

The Shawshank Redemption: Rita Hayworth saves the day.

Shaft: Sammy Jackson makes crime lick his nuts in the slickest possible way.

Predators: Like Predator... but more of them.

Leon: French hitman becomes pervert but has big heart.

Taxi Driver: Robert DeNiro drives taxis

The Transporter: Jason Stateham protects his load and kicks ass

Snatch: Brad Pitt is a knacker

10,000 BC: Really really old movie

28 Days Later: Cillian Murphy runs away from zombies with a fit English one.

klose

rhythm90 wrote: »

Trainspotting: Not a single train in the film.

Yes there is.

juma

The Room: The Room tells the melodramatic story of a love triangle between a man, his fiancée, and his best friend. A film with the passion of Tennessee Williams, this is the best movie of the year.

bonerm

juma wrote: »

The Room: The Room tells the melodramatic story of a love triangle between a man, his fiancée, and his best friend. A film with the passion of Tennessee Williams, this is the best movie of the year.

Oh hai Juma! You're my favourite reviewer.

sensibleken

Sex and the city 2 - four horses riding four camels.

Basic Instinct 2 - Jaysus its like lookin' at your ma!

Predator 2 - Two sexual predators stalk Danny glover through the dark alleys of LA, with sexy results.

Backyard Anal 2 - Diarmuid Gavin gives more handy tips on keeping you garden extremely tidy

orourkeda

The Graduate - Now renamed the emigrant

Biggins

Seaneh wrote: »

Tom Cruise movies.

Top gun: He's a pilot. a really good pilot. he has a crisis of confidence, meets a woman, falls for her, becomes the best pilot in the world.

Cocktail: He's a bartender. a pretty good bartender. He has a crisis of confidence, meets a girl, falls for her and becomes the best bartender that ever did live.

Days of thunder: He's a nascar driver, a pretty good nascar drives, he has a crisis of confidence, meet a girl, falls for her and becomes the best nascar driver in the wrold.

rinse and repeat as required.

LOL So true. :pac:

SEPT 23 1989

Braveheart: angry man in a skirt

Kimono-Girl

can't believe it hasn't been done :eek:

Mission Impossible: mission not so impossible in fact all four missions are accomplished over the four movies!


Camp rock 2: teenagers happy singing and dancing cue Disney Esq crisis, then boy and girl split up due to various trivial reasons, teenagers still singing and dancing, boy and girl realize true love conquers all and co-indecently crisis is resolved, teenagers happy singing and dancing....

KungPao

Robocop

A robotic police officer does some police work.

The Commitments

A group of unemployed Dubliners, with no original material, form a band. They aspire to be the next Who's Eddie?

The Snapper

Young woman with drinking problems and ugly friends, gets rogered by the local dirty old man. Pregnancy is the result.

Irish Guitarist

I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

WindSock

Most Mel Gibson movies: His missus dies, he must avenge her death somehow. Or be crucified.

Your Airbag

Mission Impossible: mission not so impossible in fact all four missions are accomplished over the four movies!

Theres a fourth mission impossible film now?

bonerm

Jaws : Three heterosexual men spend a weekend together on a fishing boat.

sensibleken

Your Airbag wrote: »

Theres a fourth mission impossible film now?

Shouldnt they just start calling it Mission reasonably achievable

Hasmunch

bonerm wrote: »

Jaws : Three heterosexual men spend a weekend together on a fishing boat.

Jaws 2 : Three heterosexual men spend a weekend together on a bigger fishing boat

bonerm

Hasmunch wrote: »

Jaws 2 : Three heterosexual men spend a weekend together on a bigger fishing boat

Jaws 19 : The shark still looks fake.

Your Airbag

Passion of the Christ: Practically the same plot as Weekend at Bernies.

NothingMan

Avatar = See Ferngully / Dances with Wolves

bonerm

NothingMan wrote: »

Avatar = See Ferngully / Last of the Mohicans.

Closer to (i.e. a rip-off of) Dances with Wolves.

NothingMan

bonerm wrote: »

Closer to (i.e. a rip-off of) Dances with Wolves.

That's the one I meant . Damn quote, no point in Ninja editing it now...

tricky D

NothingMan wrote: »

Avatar = See Ferngully / Dances with Wolves

Pocahontas

danh789

Dear Die Hard,

You rock! Especially when that guy was on the roof!

P.S: Do you know Mad Max?

Kimono-Girl

Your Airbag wrote: »

Theres a fourth mission impossible film now?

i like to keep boards up to date on latest and upcoming releases

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1229238/

Adyx

sensibleken wrote: »

Killer clowns from outer space - some killing is done by clowns who happen to be from space.

The sequel was pretty much the same strangely enough.

jimthemental

The Dark Knight = Batman Begins styled like CSI:Miami

Dravokivich

Phantoms: Ben Affleck is the bomb!

foxinsox

Basic Instinct = no knickers basically

Forrest Gump = no trees really and very little humping

Ghost = not one bit scary

Grease = singing and stuff

When Harry Met Sally = teaches you how to fake orgasm

Brokeback Mountain = bloke falls off mountain and hurts his back...I think

Alien = guy has really really bad indigestion

K-9

Any word of Titanic 2 yet?

CrazyRabbit

Kiith wrote: »

Let The Right One In - "Subtitles! **** tha!"

Pft...learn Swedish.

AskMyChocolate

Police Academy 5 Audience nil