Can I get an opinion?

smash

While reading the 'photos that shook the world thread' in AH I came across these images http://www.sacbee.com/static/newsroom/swf/april07/mother/ which a lot of you have probably seen before.

What I'd like to know is how they actually make you feel, not so much the photos themselves, but the fact that some of these situations were actually photographed or that the mother wanted them photographed.

Thecageyone

The first 10 images look like it's going to be a success story. The mother seems to have hope. That's probably why she allowed the photographer follow them and shoot delicate moments. I guess she allowed it to go ahead even when it turned for the worst. It's reality, you see documentaries with similar imagery on tv all the time. Why not a photographic diary? If it was too upsetting for the Mother to allow them get out, then we wouldn't be looking at them. There is no right or wrong with these things. Very moving images from 11 on.

Mountainsandh

I looked at them first without the captions, and I was sort of angry at the mother for having such photos taken, and shown.
And then I read the captions, and got a sense that there's more to it for a mother, than us just looking at pics of a dying child. This is a story to her, the story of her child and her life with him as he was sick, and all the hardship is part of it all.
I guess the intention is to jolt us out of our comfort zone, share her reality, and support research. The pics had me in tears, and it works for me, I like to be shown the hard reality, in this instance, because I want to help, but often when a charity appeals to you, you feel so ignorant and distanced from the issue, you tend to overlook it. I don't really want to ignore these things, makes me feel rubbish.

sNarah

They make me feel as if I'm looking into a window where I shouldn't be looking and they upset yet fascinate me. Though I do think it's a pity that our society very rarely documents the bad times, certainly at such a personal level, and, despite the despair and sadness, those moments are part of life. I remember my mother asking me to take a picture of my granny just after she died and thinking it was very odd at the time. Looking back now, my mother treasures that picture and keeps it with her, as it reminds her of the end and all the fantastic moments they shared together until the very end. It also reminds of that series of Polaroids some New York fella took of himself (can't remember the link now), taking a Polaroid every day for 10 year or so, including when he got cancer until the very last day he was alive. It's a wonderful document of his life, with both the best and worst days depicted.

AnCatDubh

I've viewed this work before and admire it greatly. Most worthy of the associated accolades.

The images are of course heart wrenching. The images stand on their own. The captions are compelling and tell a story - from a particular perspective. That said, I think in some ways the imagery may not need the captions, and would be/is a very different viewing experience if you leave the captions off. There is almost two stories in there.

It is one amazing privilege that the photographer was allowed become part of. I know it is probably morbid to consider, but it does miss a part of the story - that of the immediacy and intimacy of the death itself. It's a single image which leaves the journey incomplete from a voyeuristic perspective - that said, it is entirely of the subjects discretion and I don't criticise the documentary for it.

While it is "the mothers journey", you are seeing this story from a particular perspective - captured brilliantly. I'm left wanting to know more - from the other perspective of the child. Yes morbid perhaps, voyeuristic definately, powerful imagery absolutely.

Human suffering doesn't make for pretty viewing no matter what it is of. They are difficult images to look at but very compelling at the same time. It pulls many emotions at the polar extremes - happiness, sadness, joy and despair.

Thecageyone

Ah, I never noticed the captions ...

Doesn't change my opinion, I like a dose of realism. It's genuine emotion and powerful imagery. This is how he looked in his final months, why would she want to wipe the memory of him during this time away? I'm sure many a mother would prefer to just keep photos of their child in better health after an experience like this, but neither way can be deemed wrong IMO. Showing them to the world tells me she was never ashamed of him, ever proud, even when he was merely skin and bone.

rainyrun

I thought the pictures were incredible... I didnt read the captions either..didnt realise there were captions..will look at it again.but each picture told a store. absolutely heart wrenching!

who what when

The saying a 'picture speaks a thousand words' has never been so suitable!

Zillah

AnCatDubh wrote: »

I know it is probably morbid to consider, but it does miss a part of the story - that of the immediacy and intimacy of the death itself. It's a single image which leaves the journey incomplete from a voyeuristic perspective

Er, photo 19 is them about to give him a lethal sedative dose, 20 is him dying. I know it says "her dying son", but I'm pretty sure they mean "as he dies" rather than "terminally ill", if you get me.


I think it's a beautiful and sad series. Saw it when it first came out and my opinion hasn't changed. This album shows love and strength, I don't really even think death is the focus. We can't change what happened or make her feel better, but the very least we can do is ackowledge that it happened and hope to understand something about them in the viewing.

FoxT

"What I'd like to know is how they actually make you feel, not so much the photos themselves, but the fact that some of these situations were actually photographed or that the mother wanted them photographed."


Personal backstory - In 1999, our third child died unexpectedly, aged just 18 months. He was healthy, walking & talking, & had his own individual personality.
I wanted the whole world to know just how special he was. I went from A to Z in my contacts list & phoned friends, ex & current colleagues, bosses, friends, and anybody else who would listen. I did not want their pity, or sympathy - just an acknowledgement that our son was special ( as, of course, are all children) Shortly after his death, I bought a camera.

Having been through that experience I think I can understand why the mother would have wanted them photographed. I think it is a sensitive & poignant photo essay where it is clear that the mother & family let the photographer into their private lives & the photographer , in turn, portrays a humane, sympathetic & respectful view of their plight, without straying into the realm of prurience.

Grief & horror affect different people in different ways. I certainly would not judge the mother for her choice here.

- FoxT

zerohamster

very moving, It really got me thinking about how lucky I am and have been and I think it was a wonderful story to show the world how brave a little boy could be in the face of death.

I feel sad that he never got to experience so many things we all have and I hoped as the images progressed that he would be cured and live, but as I went on I was saddened more realising what was going to happen.
As for the morals of having the photos taken or published I never really formed an opinion or even thought about it until I read the comments here.

smash

I'd like to start my reply by saying that I do not judge the mother and my question had no malice intended.

For me, these photos are very hard to look at and invoke an array of emotions I haven't felt in years which leaves me feeling happy/sad/angry/vulnerable/lost/confused, I could go on and on and I'll explain why.

I went through the same thing with my first son who died 2 days before he would have been 9 months old. At the time, I basically lived in Crumlin children's hospital for 5 months. During my stay I got to know a lot of people and saw some leave happy, some leave devastated.

I watched fathers comfort their children by handing them electric clippers and sitting in chairs while their children shaved their heads so they didn't feel alone or different. I watched mothers leaving rooms because they couldn't deal with the tests that their children had to undergo on a daily basis. I watched priests pray with parents. I spent a few nights in the dark holding my son and talking to him as parents down the corridor screamed hysterically for their child to come back.

I sat with people from all walks of life. Rich & poor, famous people and average everyday people who all were the exact same in the eyes of everyone else because the one thing they had in common was the only thing that mattered to them at that stage in their lives. At one point I even sat with the Edge and his wife explaining to them how they would be administering the injections they would be giving their daughter on a daily basis throughout her treatments.

For me, this series of photographs means more than anything I've seen before yet I don't know how I feel about them. I took hundreds of photos of my son but one day my brother asked if he could take a photo of us for a college project with the topic being 'family'. At this point I snapped and went for him, I had weeks of built up mixed emotions and wanted to let them out because as far as I was concerned in already confused state, my suffering and my son's suffering was not going to be used as a showcase for his benefit.

These photos brought back most of the bad memories about what happened but then last night I looked back through photos and videos I had taken and remembered 1 thing - these photos tell a story, but they don't tell a whole story.

I have 1 video where my son is crying while I'm trying to feed him because he didn't want it, in the video I'm laughing and saying "I'm going to show this to you when you're older and embarrass you" - literally an hour or 2 after that video was taken we were told that our son wouldn't make it and 5 days later he was gone.

So while these photos do confuse me probably more than others who see them, they bring back something special and here it is:

Every day I had to give my son an injection to the point where there were moments I walked up to him and he would wince in anticipation. I had to change dressings, I had to give his medicine, I had to deal with a lot of pain and thought for a long time that he had lived a life of pain and suffering which was my fault because I was either the one doing it or I was always there so he would associate it with me. But, and it's a big but... nearly every photo I have of my son, I took. And in nearly every one of them he is smiling and looking directly at me which knocks everything back and brings the truth forward, and that is that he enjoyed his short life with me despite what he was going through and that's what matters.

I never look for sympathy and don't want any so what I want to say is that every photo you take will be important to someone. While these photos make some people feel sad, they mean a lot more to me. I just wanted to know what others thought about them.

jpb1974

They are both very beautiful and very sad. The love they convey between the mother and her son is really powerful.

hmboards

I found the series incredibly moving, and it made me think about how lucky we are to have two healthy kids.

I think it's highly likely that both the mother and the photographer always knew that these photos would be very valuable for cancer awareness and fundraising whatever the outcome. This may have been part of the mothers motivation ? I can't imagine that she would want to look back herself at the photos of her son suffering. But the thoughts that maybe the photos could help someone else in the future may have eased the feelings of helplessness she must have experienced.

Very powerful images...

hmboards

steve06 wrote: »

I never look for sympathy and don't want any so what I want to say is that every photo you take will be important to someone. While these photos make some people feel sad, they mean a lot more to me. I just wanted to know what others thought about them.

Thank you so much for sharing that Steve and FoxT.

A few weeks ago a few of us here were at a Sandy Puc baby photography seminar in Dublin. Sandy has a portrait photography business in Colorado, a large part of which is maternity and newborn photography. Following an experience where she was asked to shoot a portrait of a baby in it's last hours, and after which she saw how much those photographs meant to the parents, and how they helped in the healing process, Sandy and Cheryl Haggard (the mother) setup the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep foundation. This is a charity which relies on photographers to donate their time and expertise to capture professional, beautiful images of newborn babies who have little time to live. It's a worldwide foundation. Currently there are just three photographers covering Ireland, one in the North and two in the South.

This seemed like a good thread to bring this up. I think Steve summed it up nicely - "every photo you take will be important to someone".

http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/

smelltheglove

Photographically they are great but I couldnt care less about the photographic side.

I have tears streaming down my face, how any mother could go through that I do not know. I thank her for allowing these times to be photographed, letting the rest of us see how truly lucky we are, my babies will be getting an almighty hug tonight. God bless her.

DougL

I too missed the captions the first time around. To be honest, they aren't really necessary, and that's what makes this a fantastic series of photographs.

The overwhelming feeling I get from these photographs is sadness, but I also feel extremely lucky. The truth is that something similar to this will happen to most of us at some point in our lives, whether it's a child, a parent, a brother, a sister, or another family member. I feel lucky because it reminded me to try and enjoy the times when life is going well just a little bit more.