Friday

MonkieSocks

Three women walking down the street are stopped by a man doing a survey.

He asks, "Ladies, would you mind telling me how you know if you've had a good night out?"

The first one replies,
"I come home, get into bed and if I lay there and tingle all over, I know that I had a good night."

The second one replies,
"I come home, have a shower and a glass of wine, get into bed, and if I tingle all over, I know it was a good night."

The third one turns around and says,
"If I get home, rip off me knickers, throw them against the wall, and they stick, then I know it was a good night!"

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A leper walked into a bar and sat down.

The bartender glanced over and promptly threw up all over himself and the floor.

The leper looked hurt and said,

"Hey, I know I'm not exactly handsome, but I do have feelings and you could be a little sensitive about them."

The bartender, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, looked up and proclaimed,

"I'm sorry as hell man, but it wasn't you.

That guy sitting next to you keeps dipping his crisps in your neck."

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A guy picks up a girl in a bar, brings her home, and they start getting it on.

He starts sucking on one of her tits and milk comes out.

He says, "Hey, are you pregnant?"

She says, "That wasn't a Nipple, that was a Boil."

GillyBo

uhh i think my lunch might come back up!! Funny though

patmac

Thanks :eek::eek::eek: