Burglars breaking into houses - do you have a plan?

bryaner

Paste em to the wall with jizz.

mikom

losthorizon wrote: »

Burglars breaking into houses - do you have a plan?

Here's mine.
First I'll line a tin with Shortcrust pastry.
Then I whip the cream and add it in.
Pick some fresh berries and arrange them on top.
Finally I'll add a thin layer of sugar.

Oh..... a plan........I thought you said....

jaybee747

Don't have much of a plan at all,I have a small metal bar under the bed,thats about it.
I've tried being more proactive in preventing a break-in rather than being reactive to someone coming into the house.
Have put extra locks on windows and doors,alarm installed and a moody dog who sleeps down stairs (she hates to be woken), after that if theres a buglar still trying to come upstairs,they'll have to negotiate the tricky mechanisms of 2 child gates on top and bottom of stairs.
I'm hoping in that time i'll have called the gaurds and they're on their way.Failing that i'll be getting me bar out.

andrew cross

its hard to know what you would do either frozen with fear. or jump into action if you have children or young girls in the house fight in my own case, lets just say gun 2 shots i was ih such a rage it frightened me when i thought about it later,what i was willing to do :mad:

Donal Og O Baelach

I usually just talk to them and they go away.

Balfie

http://www.google.ie/imgres?imgurl=http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41puKND6%252BzL._SL500_.jpg&imgrefurl=http://1freeadvertising.com/15883/buy-maglite-s4d016-heavy-duty-4-d-cell-flashlight-black-at-affordable-price-decent-cheap-sale-discount-compare-hot-deals-best-good-review/&usg=__YpXk-HpI9nUfDtwZE7xvU1LD5v4=&h=500&w=500&sz=22&hl=en&start=39&zoom=1&tbnid=UkCoAt6qFwky4M:&tbnh=140&tbnw=142&prev=/images%3Fq%3D4%2BD%2Bmaglite%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-GB:official%26biw%3D1366%26bih%3D614%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C910&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=531&vpy=186&dur=760&hovh=225&hovw=225&tx=113&ty=108&ei=zsivTNGkN5KTjAfI5KRm&oei=g8ivTND8KZvc4wb7u9ndBg&esq=3&page=3&ndsp=22&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:39&biw=1366&bih=614

got one of them beside me bed, who needs more!

Coriolanus

I've a katana and my room is big enough to swing it. They can take what they want from the house, that's what insurance is for but God help the fucker who comes near me.

wil

Hello Mr Burglar.

I want to play a game.

Pdfile

losthorizon wrote: »

I was talking to my other half yesterday and she was telling me that the discussion got round to house break-ins at her place of work. She couldn't believe what people were telling her and neither could I but apparently they were perfectly serious. Three of the lads she works with have baseball bats under their beds to deal with any burglars and another has a hurley. One of the other guys there said he goes hunting and has two guns and would have no hesitation in using it if someone broke into his house.

The rest said they had plans made out if someone broke in.

Now, from someone whos never really given the subject much thought I think these people seem a bit paranoid .

im forever alone - no worrys here

flanum

i dont have anything worth stealing in my house!:(

KonFusion

Throw the kids at them, lock myself in the toilet, and pray to god they don't find my porno stash!

MadPatrick

I'm a really heavy sleeper so I'd sleep right through it. The wife would be fucked though, literally and figuratively

PCPhoto

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

i have a plan, yes. in my plan, i am extremely brave, daring, coordinated and as quick as lightening.

in reality, i'll wake up when they're standing over me with an axe. i'm fooked

this thread is about burglars...not axe murderers !!

we'llallhavetea_old

PCPhoto wrote: »

this thread is about burglars...not axe murderers !!

they're not gonna break in unarmed! they could even have a 2ltr bottle of fizzy drink! :eek:

Nodin

losthorizon wrote: »

I was talking to my other half yesterday and she was telling me that the discussion got round to house break-ins at her place of work. She couldn't believe what people were telling her and neither could I but apparently they were perfectly serious. Three of the lads she works with have baseball bats under their beds to deal with any burglars and another has a hurley. One of the other guys there said he goes hunting and has two guns and would have no hesitation in using it if someone broke into his house.

The rest said they had plans made out if someone broke in.

Now, from someone whos never really given the subject much thought I think these people seem a bit paranoid .

Theres a life size picture of me bollock naked at the top of the stairs. Cost effective, though if their hair falls out or bowels void its a bastard to hoover up first thing in the morning.

falan

I have a hammer in my bedroom. In the past i have slept with a meat cleaver under the bed. At my dads house he has a selection of weapons inside the door i.e sword,hurley, and a couple of walking sticks that he would have absolutely no problem using...

scientific1982

Plenty of big ****ing sharp knives in the kitchen. Self preservation is the first law of nature.

JayEnnis

Two boxer dogs and an airsoft gun that's identical to the real thing. Failing them believing its real I'd unload the clip into their face, hopefully blind them then kick seven shades of **** out of them with hurley, maglite, bass guitar.

holystungun9

demakinz wrote: »

Snooker cue to the face.

and when they're down, snooker cue up the hole

mcdoogle

Was talking to a dude at work one day, he described hitting a scumbag who broke into his house with a hammer in the face then kicking the **** out of him. Threw him out into the street afterwards. He said he didn't know if the scumbag would go to the guards or not but presumed he wouldn't. Never heard anything from the guards so got away with it.

I say fair ****s to him.

Odysseus

scientific1982 wrote: »

Plenty of big ****ing sharp knives in the kitchen. Self preservation is the first law of nature.

Most burglars are aware of this too, victims of house theft often find one of their kitchen just beside the fornt door or where ever else they exist the house.

demanufactured

a lump of 2 inch flat plate , heavy enough to do damage...