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An "assasin" has just been hired to kill me

  • 10-10-2010 4:26pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,645 ✭✭✭Daemos


    I just got this email titled "ASSASIN, I HAVE BEEN PAYED TO TERMINATE YOU."
    This is the only way I could contact you for now, I want you to be very careful about this and keep this secret with you until I make out space for us to see. You have no need of knowing who I am or where I am from. I know this may sound very surprising to you but it's the situation. I have been paid some ransom in advance to terminate you with some reasons listed to me by my employer. It's someone I believe you call a friend; I have followed you closely for a while now and have seen that you are innocent of the accusations he leveled against you. Do not contact the police or try to send a copy of this to them, because if you do, I will know, and I might be pushed to do what I have been paid to do. Besides, this is the first time I turn out to be a betrayer in my job. I took pity on you, that is why I have made up my mind to help you if you are willing to help yourself.


    Now listen, I will arrange for us to see face to face, but before that, I need $9,000. I will come to your home or you determine where you wish we meet; I repeat, do not arrange for the cops and if you play hard to get, it will be extended to your family. Do not set any camera to cover us or set up any tape to record our conversation; my employer is in my control now. Payment details will be provided for you to make a part payment of $3,000 first, which will serve as guarantee that you are ready to co-operate, then I will post a copy of the video tape that contains his request for me to terminate you which will be enough evidence for you to take any legal action against him before he employs another person for the job. You will pay the balance of $3,000 once you receive the tape.


    Warning; do not contact the police, make sure you stay indoors once it is 7.30pm every day until this whole thing is sorted out, if you neglect any of these warnings, you will have yourself to blame. You do not have much time, so get back to me immediately

    Note: I will advise you keep this to yourself alone, not even a friend or a family member should know about it because it could be one of them.
    So AH, what should I do? Contact the "assasin" with bribe money to let me live, or make a counter-offer to target his employer? :rolleyes:


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,258 ✭✭✭✭MrStuffins


    It's actually pretty legit!

    I received a similar email, paid the money, and i've yet to be assassinated!

    Don't offer him double what the other guy is giving.

    He'll just laugh and set you on fire!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,109 ✭✭✭Cavehill Red


    I told you to keep it to yourself.
    Now you'll be sorry.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,554 ✭✭✭✭alwaysadub


    I'd imagine the assassin is probably a boardsie(cos let's face it, who isn't?) so i'd make the most of your last few days if i was you. Cos you're in trouble now.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,990 ✭✭✭longshanks


    a talking, typing aspirin? i've heard it all now


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Daemos wrote: »
    I just got this email titled "ASSASIN, I HAVE BEEN PAYED TO TERMINATE YOU."

    So AH, what should I do? Contact the "assasin" with bribe money to let me live, or make a counter-offer to target his employer? :rolleyes:
    LOL The sad part is that there would be stupid people who would fall for that daft stupid stuff.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    Send a begging letter to spare your life and say you'll meet in person with the first instalment.

    Meet him.

    Kick his head in.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,806 ✭✭✭✭KeithM89_old


    I always thought assassins could spell properly... :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,534 ✭✭✭SV


    I'd pay it if I was you
    can't be too sure


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    Don't worry, he could never find you living 15 KM south of nowhere...;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,797 ✭✭✭ChopShop


    KeithM89 wrote: »
    I always thought assassins could spell properly... :D

    Obviously, he's so quick even a keyboard can't keep up.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,417 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    longshanks wrote: »
    a talking, typing aspirin? i've heard it all now
    Little bleeder!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,759 ✭✭✭✭dlofnep


    Go along with it and post updates :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,784 ✭✭✭KungPao


    Sarah Connor?

    Yes.

    *door flies open*

    BANG!....BANG! BANG! BANG!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 492 ✭✭HoPpiE


    Do you think he'll accept Nigerian Naira?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    Despite the fact it's nonsense, it's actually kind of disturbing for spam.
    I won't be sending any more.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 226 ✭✭GarethWA


    The-Rigger wrote: »
    Despite the fact it's nonsense, it's actually kind of disturbing for spam.

    Takes me back to the days when my friends threatened me with a horrible supernatural death by a dead little girl unless I threaten all of my other friends with the same email:rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,220 ✭✭✭✭biko


    OMG, you better tell the Gardai, that is the Nigerian Gardai...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,645 ✭✭✭Daemos


    dlofnep wrote: »
    Go along with it and post updates :)
    I really wish I'd thought of that before I asked him to prove it my telling me my registration plate number

    I'll be sh1tting myself if he gets it right :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 36,634 ✭✭✭✭Ruu_Old


    Sorry that was me, sent it to the wrong person. :o Don't worry your head!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,647 ✭✭✭✭El Weirdo


    So he wants $9,000 in two instalments of $3,000 each?

    He's not very good at this, is he?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,547 ✭✭✭Agricola


    Tut, I never get emails like this. It would add alittle excitement to my life :p


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,880 ✭✭✭✭mfceiling


    I'll pay this time for you OP.

    Just got an unexpected windfall this morning in the form of €117,997,954 from a guy in America who has bequeathed me this money rather than let it go to a faceless bank.

    I've sent him my bank details, ID, address, and the €250 administration fee so the money should be in my account in the next few days.

    I'll send you a PM when i'm quids in.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,025 ✭✭✭✭-Corkie-


    I thought you were Brian Cowen op..


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    Well at least it's not an assassin


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,112 ✭✭✭flyton5


    If everyone in AH chipped in we could arrange to meet him....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,360 ✭✭✭Archeron


    and if you play hard to get, it will be extended to your family.

    So if you ask to meet for a nice dinner first then your whole family gets it? He's pretty stingy for somebody charging anywhere between six and nine grand a job.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    -Corkie- wrote: »
    I thought you were Brian Cowen op..

    I imagine the fee there would be far less than 9K, more like 20c.....:pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,657 ✭✭✭komodosp


    Man I'll have to start reading my spam! They are starting to look fun..


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    Seriously OP, he can only harm you when you are online....


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  • Registered Users Posts: 237 ✭✭MichealKenny


    haha HoPpiE, but yeah, go along w/ it


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 32 seaniedearg


    you need to ask

    call joe duffy
    1850715815!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 759 ✭✭✭ltdslipdiff


    Tell him you have €40,000 worth of Anglo Irish shares if he wants them...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,326 ✭✭✭Scuid Mhór


    Daemos wrote: »
    I just got this email titled "ASSASIN, I HAVE BEEN PAYED TO TERMINATE YOU."

    So AH, what should I do? Contact the "assasin" with bribe money to let me live, or make a counter-offer to target his employer? :rolleyes:

    i told you not to warn anyone...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,805 ✭✭✭Setun


    Good to hear Trent is alive and well.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 12,333 ✭✭✭✭JONJO THE MISER


    Nigeria Scam Artists at it again.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    Should really say 'I have been hired' to kill you. Already paid? f*ck off just kill your employer.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 895 ✭✭✭zapata


    Remember not to go outside after 7:30pm - just in case.......


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,588 ✭✭✭derfderf


    Ha ha, that brings back memories. I remember one of my friends got pretty much the same email. He didn't pay up either.



    May he rest in peace.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,070 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    El Weirdo wrote: »
    So he wants $9,000 in two instalments of $3,000 each?

    He's not very good at this, is he?

    You pay the final amount after you haven't been killed


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,745 ✭✭✭laugh


    How much for that langer from crystal swing?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,095 ✭✭✭✭omb0wyn5ehpij9


    Get Macgyver to help you!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,995 ✭✭✭Sofiztikated


    Aw. I never get emails like this.

    Can you not pretend you're in the 'Ra and all that, and scare the bastid into giving you monies?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,803 ✭✭✭El Siglo


    Tell him you're waiting to get money from a Nigerian Prince Dr.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,595 ✭✭✭bonerm


    Have some fun with it. Like this guy did.

    http://www.scamorama.com/prolite_agnes_hitlad.html


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,897 ✭✭✭MagicSean


    Thats priceless.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    Nine grand just to bump somebody off!
    These assassins are making a killing:P


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,498 ✭✭✭BrokenArrows


    Daemos wrote: »
    I just got this email titled "ASSASIN, I HAVE BEEN PAYED TO TERMINATE YOU."

    So AH, what should I do? Contact the "assasin" with bribe money to let me live, or make a counter-offer to target his employer? :rolleyes:

    Its sad that the man cant even spell his own profession. He gives us hard working assassins a bad name!


    I would play with him for a while. Act like your going to pay up and see if you can get any information out of him.
    He might be stupid enough to give out bank information which you can pass onto the police.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    Daemos wrote: »
    I just got this email titled "ASSASIN, I HAVE BEEN PAYED TO TERMINATE YOU."

    So AH, what should I do? Contact the "assasin" with bribe money to let me live, or make a counter-offer to target his employer? :rolleyes:

    Are you dead yet?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 355 ✭✭Princess Zelda


    One assasin? Pfffft. I just got an email saying that I won the Spanish lotto, so I can afford a thousand assasins. Or maybe 10 contract killers who can use spell check


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,081 ✭✭✭sheesh


    Bryn wrote: »
    Get Macgyver to help you!

    don't be stupid !! This is obviously a job for the Equalizer or the A-team (if you can find them)


    knightrider might also be a good third option


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