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In love with a gay girl...

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    #62
    CluelessGirl
    Registered Users Posts: 181 ✭✭CluelessGirl


    crayolastereo wrote: »
    He's a grown man. Being gay is nowhere near that hard to understand, unless you lived in some tiny Amish community somewhere and had never heard of gay people.

    Thats complete and utter bull****........not everyone knows or is even interested in the nitty critty ins and outs of it unless they ask questions about it.....anyway I wont argue this point with someone who only sees black and white!


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    #63
    electrobi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 86 ✭✭electrobi


    CluelessGirl wrote: »
    Jeez you guys give the guy a break.......he is just trying to figure all the gay thing out......so he has questions to ask and to be answered......why the sarcastic comments are you all really that insecure in your sexuality that you have to be defensive about it....I think fair play to him for trying to get his head around it all.....I am sure if you were in his shoes and new to it you would have questions also....i know I did in the beginning or did it all just come so easily and naturally to you???!!!!!

    That's just it, he asked for answers and when they were offered he only liked the ones he wanted to hear and disregarded the rest. For example about four people disputed his argument that she was "uncomfortable" about her sexuality, which he didn't want to hear. And those four people turned out to be right.

    It doesn't matter if you're gay/straight/bi/trans/whatever, asking yourself the question "will i be his/her friend even if I don't get MY way" is opportunistic.


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    #64
    electrobi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 86 ✭✭electrobi


    CluelessGirl wrote: »
    Thats complete and utter bull****........not everyone knows or is even interested in the nitty critty ins and outs of it unless they ask questions about it.....anyway I wont argue this point with someone who only sees black and white!

    "nitty critty"? Gay = liking the same sex, ie. not available to the opposite sex. That's pretty black and white. If you want grey there's always bisexuality :p

    He asked questions, he was given answers. The end.


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    #65
    Zodiac2000
    Closed Accounts Posts: 61 ✭✭Zodiac2000


    CluelessGirl wrote: »
    Jeez you guys give the guy a break.......he is just trying to figure all the gay thing out......so he has questions to ask and to be answered......why the sarcastic comments are you all really that insecure in your sexuality that you have to be defensive about it....I think fair play to him for trying to get his head around it all.....I am sure if you were in his shoes and new to it you would have questions also....i know I did in the beginning or did it all just come so easily and naturally to you???!!!!!

    Exactly - seems to be a lot of super sensitive gay people around here!

    She is more comfortable with her sexuality than many of the people around here it seems. I initally thought she was uncomfortable with her sexuality - i was 100% wrong - she just knew i fancied her and was being sensitive to me.

    She is just a complete tomboy - thats all i mean. We even wear the same boxers! Men's CK boxers - i think its funny. She is not sensitive like most around here - now that its all out there, she has no problem with me calling her a bloke wannabe - she laughs at this. Some of you could take a leaf out of her book and chill out!


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    #66
    rainbow kirby
    Registered Users Posts: 26,928 ✭✭✭✭rainbow kirby


    electrobi wrote: »
    He asked questions, he was given answers. The end.
    Tru dat.

    Locked.


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    #67
    rainbow kirby
    Registered Users Posts: 26,928 ✭✭✭✭rainbow kirby


    By request of another poster, I've been asked to add this.
    Hi Zodiac,

    I saw your thread last week and was meaning to post but failed to find time. I feel the need to add my two cents after reading Clueless girls excellent post from her point of view.

    I guess I have a testimonial towards a case like your own. I am unsure how to address the situation because your earlier posts you seem total heartbroken and totally confused but in your later posts you seem all sorted and as happy as a pig in muck. But alas I too was in love with a gay girl but unfortunately it was possibly more serious than your case.

    I was going out with a girl for about 18 months until I got the dreaded news that she had realised she was gay and we had to cut the relationship. I saw red lights before we got together and during the relationship but ploughed on regardless (as people tend to do). I loved the girl to bits and would have done anything to have stayed with her or maybe help her. The ending was hard for both of us as, I'm sure you're feeling to same, everything seemed perfect. We got on like a house on fire and surprisingly sex et al was great. We had casually taked about kids n all that shíte. But there was a gigantic elephant in the room which lingered throught our relationship.

    Anyways the crux of this story the girl was gay. I'd love to go into the story of her telling her folks years pervious about being gay and them pretty much sending her to a shrink and how I believe she was so scared that accepting her gayness and all, but it is unnessary in this post. I feel this girl isn't one of these people, she seems totally a ease with who and where she is.

    All I can say is be as cool with this girl as she has been with you. And as many boardies have maybe unfairly picked up on the "maybe I could turn her" aspects of your posts. It ain't happening, put yourself in her shoes. Imagine (I'm guess your straight) a gay guy falls for you. It is no different. I don't really need to expand with the how would that make you feel? or the how would you deal with that? questions? You catch my drift.

    If you're "in love" with this girl. Please do yourself a favour and maybe distance yourself from her. It will be great being pals with this girl but I the long run it will rip you to shreads. Plenty more fish in the sea (both girlfriend and friend wise) etc etc. Be pal-y but don't let the whole situation hurt you. If you stay close and are a jealous person like myself the green eyed monster will surely show in you.

    I still send the odd text to herself and all is really nice between us. In my head she'll always be the big stupid fúcking dyke (God i have saying such a thing in the LGBT section but I hope you see the context and toneit is said in) that broke my heart in a million pieces but in my heart no one will ever match her. There is no-one I'd hope for more that they get happiness and piece of mind. *quits before he gets too soppy*

    Well i guess the general thing of this overly long message is be cool and respectful to her and also to yourself. Love a powerful thing unfortunatly. Chin up.


    I end by echoing what Clueless girl said to take it easy on guys/girls like Zodiac 2000 who post on the LGBT forum. He seems genuine and very much out not to offend. I blurted a few things out that may be picked up as offensive but it was more ignorance (as in what statments to avoid or tip toe around, what is stupid to say) as opposed to ignorance ("what an ignorant arrogant prick")

    I agree that the whole gay thing shouldn't be that complicated but situations like this are a total mindfúck for the people involved.

    Thanks again,
    I hope this helped and I didn't offend anyone with my comments regarding LGBT.


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