Nice guys get the girl in the end, look of lust and love on the brain!?

starlit

I have a few good reads here from the Irish Independent that got me thinking.
Very interesting facts, just wondering what you think, both a male and female perspective would be great to see what the differences of opinion are on the topics below from both sexes!

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/independent-woman/love-sex/nice-guys-usually-get-the-girl-in-the-end-2378788.html

Is it usually true that the nice guys finish last but can they truly get the girl in the end?

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/independent-woman/love-sex/the-look-of-lust-2364593.html

Very interesting, didn’t think that all men thought like this in different ways depending whether they are attached, married or not!

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/independent-woman/love-sex/love-on-the-brain-2363675.html

So there is such a thing as love at first sight and love on the brain then!?

smash

Nice guys get the girl in the end? Only after she's tired of shagging all the bad boys!

bonerm

steve06 wrote: »

Nice guys get the girl in the end? Only after she's tired of shagging all the bad boys!

This pretty much.

She just wants a nice safe bet to settle down with. One who'll help raise her kids and pay for half of her house now that she's had her fun and isn't a catch anymore. Well done nice guys!

jimthemental

Ha, the lad who wrote the second one is so camp he's sh1tting tent pegs.

Ye lads are right, they only go for the nice guy after there's serious mileage on the clock

Scuid Mhór

snuggles285 wrote: »

So there is such a thing as love at first sight and love on the brain then!?

there's infatuation at first sight, not love.

Wibbs

steve06 wrote: »

Nice guys get the girl in the end? Only after she's tired of shagging all the bad boys!

I'd reckon there's an element of that. When young and in the prime, it would be natural to seek out the best male possible. Now the best male possible is going to be physically fit, socially fit and also because of that lot is going to have more women attracted to him. IE more likely to be a "bad boy". He's a good bet genetically, but he's not always a good bet in the raising of any kids.

Studies have shown that women are more likely to be attracted to a high testosterone male face when ovulating, but when not or pregnant are attracted to a more feminised face(because the pill tricks their body into thinking its pregnant some women may make different choices). Plus couples who live together show a drop in testosterone in the man over time. He becomes more "feminised" hormonally. So it seems the more laid back altruistic man is selected for long term pair bonding. If she ever has an affair though, it's unlikely to be with that type.

I've seen a general trend with women Ive known over the years. When young they tend to go for a different type of man than they would in their 30's. Not just because of maturity either. I'd say if you wanna get laid more in your 20's as a guy, the more outgoing, confident guy with options is the one to be. If you wanna have more success in long termers, being more passive seems to work better.

"love" at first sight is BS in my humble. It can only be lust or someone who fits a preconceived template in your head. It cant be love as you simply dont know them yet.

Gone Drinking

I think this picture from the Cool vids and pics forum sums up this topic nicely

https://us.v-cdn.net/6034073/uploads/attachments/116790/130491.jpg

28064212

snuggles285 wrote: »

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/independent-woman/love-sex/nice-guys-usually-get-the-girl-in-the-end-2378788.html

Is it usually true that the nice guys finish last but can they truly get the girl in the end?

Incredibly lazy journalism. That's not what the study said at all, not even remotely close. Typical of the sort of "lifestyle" journalism that should be dead and buried.

snuggles285 wrote: »

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/independent-woman/love-sex/the-look-of-lust-2364593.html

Very interesting, didn’t think that all men thought like this in different ways depending whether they are attached, married or not!

More crap journalism. "All" men don't do anything. Reducing something as complex as fantasies down to a handful of friends telling each other that they'd like to 'do' a woman they saw is stupid.

snuggles285 wrote: »

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/independent-woman/love-sex/love-on-the-brain-2363675.html

So there is such a thing as love at first sight and love on the brain then!?

A much better article. At least it accepts that it's an incredibly complex area and doesn't draw infantile conclusions. However, it has nothing to do with love at first sight.

HavingCrack

The first two articles are absolutely crap journalism, at least the 3rd one makes some attempt to be written in an intelligent manner.

One thing about the nice guy getting the girl in the end strikes me as a bit odd though. It presumes all men want to settle down for good, there's lots of men in their 30's, 40's 50's who may not want a partner or wife and just continue having casual relationships. The journalist doesn't really seem to consider this though.

orourkeda

snuggles285 wrote: »

I have a few good reads here from the Irish Independent that got me thinking.
Very interesting facts, just wondering what you think, both a male and female perspective would be great to see what the differences of opinion are on the topics below from both sexes!

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/independent-woman/love-sex/nice-guys-usually-get-the-girl-in-the-end-2378788.html

Is it usually true that the nice guys finish last but can they truly get the girl in the end?

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/independent-woman/love-sex/the-look-of-lust-2364593.html

Very interesting, didn’t think that all men thought like this in different ways depending whether they are attached, married or not!

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/independent-woman/love-sex/love-on-the-brain-2363675.html

So there is such a thing as love at first sight and love on the brain then!?

Girls love bastards and I'd have to wonder about any man who doesn't feel the overwhelming urge to look at an attractive female that passes him.

Kimono-Girl

orourkeda wrote: »

Girls love bastards

i disagree.... i have to say in my history of dating i've always managed to avoid bastards, in fact most of them were really nice guys, i guess im lucky!


My OH is a really nice guy and he got me in the end, so yeah i guess that part is true, but that is kind of self fulfilling, once the 'nice' girl meets the 'nice' guy they are less likely to split up....so the 'nice' guy gets the girl in the end!

as for love at first sight no.i believe you cannot love someone if you don't know them, i believe its infatuation at first sight!

colc1

Scuid Mhór wrote: »

there's infatuation at first sight, not love.

Exactly because how can you love someone you don't know?? I agree bad boys always get the girl bc girls in general always want what they can't have and this maybe applies to at least some guys too.

liah

Yep, you caught us, we all love only bad boys and assholes, all we concern ourselves with are sizes (of your wallet and penis, heart is obviously irrelevant), we only ever pick men who make millions and look like supermodels and give us stuff, and we hate all nice guys and secretly laugh at them behind their backs with our asshole boyfriends.

Obviously.

Or, you know, most women go for confident men who bitter men are jealous of and these bitter men then try to call themselves "nice guys" (aka, guys who have very little confidence and completely overglorify women and essentially have no backbone) and then get pissed off when they're turned down by a woman who can see through the act.

But clearly #1 is far more appealing an answer ("all women are bitches and only date rich model-lookalikes") rather than actually facing up to one's shortcomings and moving to work on them.

colc1

Wibbs wrote: »

Studies have shown that women are more likely to be attracted to a high testosterone male face when ovulating, but when not or pregnant are attracted to a more feminised face(because the pill tricks their body into thinking its pregnant some women may make different choices). Plus couples who live together show a drop in testosterone in the man over time. He becomes more "feminised" hormonally.


"love" at first sight is BS in my humble. It can only be lust or someone who fits a preconceived template in your head. It cant be love as you simply dont know them yet.

Haha the first paragraph can be translated as boredom. As for the second paragraph I totally agree. People's ability to lie to themselves is sometimes amazing though, I have convinced myself I've loved people before but after breaking up I quickly realised I didnt love them it was just lust, I think it takes a long time to really love someone which I think needs to be unconditional like with your family/friends just with the lustful, sexual element added on.

Kimono-Girl

liah wrote: »

Or, you know, most women go for confident men who bitter men are jealous of and these bitter men then try to call themselves "nice guys" (aka, guys who have very little confidence and completely overglorify women and essentially have no backbone) and then get pissed off when they're turned down by a woman who can see through the act.

+1million!!!! finally someone put it into the appropriate words!

Where To

I used to believe that the reason i didn't have a girlfriend was because i was a 'nice' guy and that as i got older i would be seen as more of a 'catch'

As i've got older and with the value of hindsight i now realise that i'm just an ugly so and so!!

scientific1982

One thing most women dont realise is that they have a shorter sell by date.

Kimono-Girl

scientific1982 wrote: »

One thing most women dont realise is that they have a shorter sell by date.

depends on the woman, you could say the same about men!

Dudess

scientific1982 wrote: »

One thing most women dont realise is that they have a shorter sell by date.

Oh they realise it all right - seeing as they're constantly fucking reminded of it.

DublinWriter

snuggles285 wrote: »

I have a few good reads here from the Irish Independent

...no you haven't.

The After Hours Troll

Irish women don't age well tbf. Especially compared to their superiors, Eastern Europeans.



:pac:

Dudess

The After Hours Troll wrote: »

Irish women don't age well tbf. Especially compared to their superiors, Eastern Europeans.



:pac:

The fine big chicks with the crew-cuts and moustaches who say "Keess me or I clush you"? :pac:

Dudess

Seriously though, "nice guy" as in doormat... well that's just not attractive. Nice guy as in: not an asshole but who still has a backbone and confidence, I'd believe the stuff about them getting the girl in the end. Those women who do go for bastards (not as many as one would be led to believe by some men here) usually grow out of it and ultimately opt for the former - as is the case with most people. Maturing.

colc1

liah wrote: »

Obviously.

Or, you know, most women go for confident men who bitter men are jealous of and these bitter men then try to call themselves "nice guys" (aka, guys who have very little confidence and completely overglorify women and essentially have no backbone) and then get pissed off when they're turned down by a woman who can see through the act.

But clearly #1 is far more appealing an answer ("all women are bitches and only date rich model-lookalikes") rather than actually facing up to one's shortcomings and moving to work on them.

I wasn't saying all women are bitches sorry if thats how you interpretted my comments, its just that they need a challenge to get them interested which is why they go for confident guys...who often show this by doing stuff that appears mean/bad like slagging off those less confident guys for example.

I agree with you too that there are lots of guys who are brought up and socialised into being in awe if you like of women these guys couldn't pull in a brothel and I know some and its a shame bc they are nice guys but don't understand 'the mating game' if you want to call it that. I never mentioned .size of wallet/penis either but maybe someone else did so fair enough,

ascanbe

scientific1982 wrote: »

One thing most women dont realise is that they have a shorter sell by date.

Ignore that; go by the use-by date instead.
And take into account that that's only there to cover the seller.
So actually, you can ignore that too and just use your own judgement; examine that you desire for what it is and don't be swayed by others proclaimations.

Dudess

ascanbe wrote: »

Ignore that; go by the use-by date instead.
And take into account that that's only there to cover the seller.
So actually, you can ignore that too and just use your own judgement; examine that you desire for what it is and don't be swayed by others proclaimations.

Guys who say sh1t like that would SO get it! :pac:

ascanbe

colc1 wrote: »

I wasn't saying all women are bitches sorry if thats how you interpretted my comments, its just that they need a challenge to get them interested which is why they go for confident guys...who often show this by doing stuff that appears mean/bad like slagging off those less confident guys for example.

I agree with you too that there are lots of guys who are brought up and socialised into being in awe if you like of women these guys couldn't pull in a brothel and I know some and its a shame bc they are nice guys but don't understand 'the mating game' if you want to call it that. I never mentioned .size of wallet/penis either but maybe someone else did so fair enough,

How dare you!!! :mad:

ascanbe

Dudess wrote: »

Guys who say sh1t like that would SO get it! :pac:

Thanks. I'm a bad boy, though, so you'll have to get in line.

Terry

Gone Drinking wrote: »

I think this picture from the Cool vids and pics forum sums up this topic nicely

https://us.v-cdn.net/6034073/uploads/attachments/116790/130491.jpg

I think this sums it up better:
http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumblarge_243/1204484055lk95dE.jpg

HavingCrack

Dudess wrote: »

Seriously though, "nice guy" as in doormat... well that's just not attractive. Nice guy as in: not an asshole but who still has a backbone and confidence, I'd believe the stuff about them getting the girl in the end. Those women who do go for bastards (not as many as one would be led to believe by some men here) usually grow out of it and ultimately opt for the former - as is the case with most people. Maturing.

If you're a 22 year old 'nice guy' (hate using that phrase-most of them aren't nice at all but anyway!) its not much consulation that you'll finally get a woman when you're 35..:pac:

So perhaps chaps that look like bad boys but are really nice and law abiding are the ideal compromise for ladies ?

HavingCrack

RoverJames wrote: »

So perhaps chaps that look like bad boys but are really nice and law abiding are the ideal compromise for ladies ?

You mean a boy band member ? :P

Ickle Magoo

RoverJames wrote: »

So perhaps chaps that look like bad boys but are really nice and law abiding are the ideal compromise for ladies ?

Or perhaps even nice, assertive, intelligent guys who don't think women are some alien species that they can't approach/talk to/have a relationship with? :cool:

c-note

steve06 wrote: »

Nice guys get the girl in the end? Only after she's tired of shagging all the bad boys!

That is so true. I find more than half girls my age (20's) to be whores of babylon. Theres a few girls i've fancied until i found out how much they've sleep around. Not saying theres anything wrong with it but they can keep their goo, thanks very much.

Cavehill Red

HavingCrack wrote: »

RoverJames wrote: »

So perhaps chaps that look like bad boys but are really nice and law abiding are the ideal compromise for ladies ?

You mean a boy band member ? :P

The opposite of a boy band member, surely?
After all, they all look like girly boys in whose mouths butter wouldn't melt, but generally are skeezy drug taking maniacs in it for the moolah and groupies.

Napper Hawkins

liah wrote: »

Or, you know, most women go for confident men who bitter men are jealous of and these bitter men then try to call themselves "nice guys" (aka, guys who have very little confidence and completely overglorify women and essentially have no backbone) and then get pissed off when they're turned down by a woman who can see through the act.

But clearly #1 is far more appealing an answer ("all women are bitches and only date rich model-lookalikes") rather than actually facing up to one's shortcomings and moving to work on them.

Spot on.

starlit

Dudess wrote: »

Seriously though, "nice guy" as in doormat... well that's just not attractive. Nice guy as in: not an asshole but who still has a backbone and confidence, I'd believe the stuff about them getting the girl in the end. Those women who do go for bastards (not as many as one would be led to believe by some men here) usually grow out of it and ultimately opt for the former - as is the case with most people. Maturing.

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

Or perhaps even nice, assertive, intelligent guys who don't think women are some alien species that they can't approach/talk to/have a relationship with?

My type of guy! mmm take me out might be a prime example of the difference!!:D

DublinWriter wrote: »

...no you haven't.

I'm sorry what?

c-note wrote: »

That is so true. I find more than half girls my age (20's) to be whores of babylon. Theres a few girls i've fancied until i found out how much they've sleep around. Not saying theres anything wrong with it but they can keep their goo, thanks very much.

Not every woman is a whore! There are women who do not sleep around and rather sleep with someone in an inclusive relationship.

c-note

snuggles285 wrote: »

Not every woman is a whore! There are women who do not sleep around and rather sleep with someone in an inclusive relationship.

yup your right. thats my experience too. but with less than half the girls i know:

c-note wrote: »

I find more than half girls my age (20's) to be whores of babylon.

HavingCrack

c-note wrote: »

That is so true. I find more than half girls my age (20's) to be whores of babylon. Theres a few girls i've fancied until i found out how much they've sleep around. Not saying theres anything wrong with it but they can keep their goo, thanks very much.

Bit of a contradiction there much

28064212

c-note wrote: »

That is so true. I find more than half girls my age (20's) to be whores of babylon. Theres a few girls i've fancied until i found out how much they've sleep around. Not saying theres anything wrong with it but they can keep their goo, thanks very much.

So a woman who sleeps around is whore? She can't just like sex and not want a relationship, no? What number of people is she allowed sleep with before she's unacceptable?

How many is it ok for you to sleep with?

starlit

28064212 wrote: »

So a woman who sleeps around is whore? She can't just like sex and not want a relationship, no? What number of people is she allowed sleep with before she's unacceptable?

How many is it ok for you to sleep with?

So you mean to say that its acceptable for a guy to sleep around but not a woman? Typically for both sexes if they can limit it 5-10 or under they be doing well! If most were in inclusive relationships I'd be more happier about that sort of thing, if its casual then I be a bit concerned if they are being overly experienced.:o

Scuid Mhór

28064212 wrote: »

So a woman who sleeps around is whore? She can't just like sex and not want a relationship, no? What number of people is she allowed sleep with before she's unacceptable?

How many is it ok for you to sleep with?

it's just not fair, 28064212!

if a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys, she's a slut. but if a guy sleeps with a bunch of guys, he's a homosexual.

Dudess

"A man can sleep around, no questions asked. But if a woman makes 19 or 20 mistakes, she's a tramp."

Ulysses Gaze

28064212 wrote: »

So a woman who sleeps around is whore? She can't just like sex and not want a relationship, no? What number of people is she allowed sleep with before she's unacceptable?

How many is it ok for you to sleep with?

+1

It shouldn't really matter at all.

starlit

No-one should have to settle for second best though! The heart will only get broken.:(

Question for all of the women.

Say you meet a guy who lets say isn't the best looking but is a millionaire and lets say your a stunner. And you really love him.

Would you enter a Prenuptial agreement if you wanted to get married to him?

I bet 90% wouldn't.

starlit

Unrequited love is such a pain for both parties involved.

Mak_United wrote: »

Question for all of the women.

Say you meet a guy who lets say isn't the best looking but is a millionaire and lets say your a stunner. And you really love him.

Would you enter a Prenuptial agreement if you wanted to get married to him?

I bet 90% wouldn't.

Honestly if that were the case for me, yes I would enter a pre-nuptial agreement as I am not a gold digger!

Personally even if I loved him I wouldn't go for a millionaire! I'd rather looks over money and loved the guy but not necessarily be a hunk! Personality and sense of humour is what would win me over the most!

28064212

Mak_United wrote: »

Question for all of the women.

Say you meet a guy who lets say isn't the best looking but is a millionaire and lets say your a stunner. And you really love him.

Would you enter a Prenuptial agreement if you wanted to get married to him?

I bet 90% wouldn't.

How are his looks relevant? And if they wouldn't enter into a reasonable pre-nup (not leaving them completely penniless), then they don't really love him

Dudess

Mak_United wrote: »

Question for all of the women.

Say you meet a guy who lets say isn't the best looking but is a millionaire and lets say your a stunner. And you really love him.

Would you enter a Prenuptial agreement if you wanted to get married to him?

I bet 90% wouldn't.

Question for all of the men:

Some men seem like right fucking women haters who really enjoy making nasty assumptions and generalisations about women. Are you one of those men?

I bet 90% are.

Kimono-Girl

Mak_United wrote: »

Question for all of the women.

Say you meet a guy who lets say isn't the best looking but is a millionaire and lets say your a stunner. And you really love him.

Would you enter a Prenuptial agreement if you wanted to get married to him?

I bet 90% wouldn't.

i would, money isn't everything you know!

starlit

28064212 wrote: »

How are his looks relevant? And if they wouldn't enter into a reasonable pre-nup (not leaving them completely penniless), then they don't really love him

Better to have loved than not have loved at all!