I lost my sister last week. My big Sis x

Kiera

I only ever talk about my crap when I've drink on me. I'll probably get the mods to delete this tomorrow.

I lost my sister last week to cancer. She had it for 6 yrs and 4 days. They didn't think she'd make it past 2 yrs but she was a stubborn bitch like me and fought it for 4 yrs more. Until it spread to her brain.

They told us they could treat it in her brain but the radio didn't work and they gave us 4 months last Aug. That turned out to be them telling us she'd be gone by the 1st of Oct ( the exact day 6 yrs later after she found out she had it)

She fought it so hard at home until she went into a deep sleep. She never wanted to go to a hospice as she has an 8yr old (my nephew/godchild) and she wanted everthing to be the same for him.

It changed on the 19th of Sept. She had to go in. It broke all our hearts but she still had in the back of her head that she was in there for rest and coming home.

She got so confused in there. She asked me where my Dad was ( Our Dad died 15 yrs ago when i was 15) I told her he was at work. The last conversation i had with her was " Are you still with John". My ex. The last words she said to me/and i was the last person she spoke to/ were: Hi Siobhán. And she went to sleep never woke up.

6 days later she fell asleep for good.

She looked so beautiful and was always beautiful. She took so much pride in herself and when they laid her out in the house she looked liked our angle.

I've been so strong for my Mam and her hubby who are broken. I think i'm just typing this to let it all out and dont want any of my family or friends to know how much i'm hurting. Bonito has been my rock and I'd like to thank him for the last week. The poor chap hasn't left my side and I've had so much support from a lot of boardsies like Quallers, Windy, Chef, Java and the rest of you guys.

Its amazing how much people online actually care and i want to thank all of you.....Saibh, Gt......you know who x x x

Ickle Magoo

Good to see you back Kiera, I missed you - I'm sorry it wasn't in happier circumstances.

If you want this pulled just give me a shout - but I think it's a really beautiful post.

Thinking of you & yours (huge hugs)

Ickle

mikom

I'm sorry for you and your families loss Kiera.
I'd like to think that your sis is just sleeping soundly now, pain and sickness free, and that you will all be together again some day.

sarahlulu

What a beautiful post. May your angel sleep well. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Bonito

After all that time of being a hard ass and holding everybody else together, it's your turn to start to come to terms with losing her. She gave it an almighty good go, that's for sure!

You and all the family are welcome for what little I did to help out.

lifeistooshort

Hi Kiera

Firstly I want to say how truly sorry I am about the loss of your sister. Its so hard to deal with and it does take time...let every feeling you have be expressed. Everyone reacts differently to a death and the fact that you have such a strong relationship with your sister means your life is changed forever... Be strong you can get through this...best of luck xxx

delo18

My thoughts are with you x

Freiheit

I'm glad you shared....we are always here for you

axel rose

Christ, Kiera, I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this. There is nothing right or fair about it.

gerarda

Keep the chin up.

Naos

I'm sorry to hear about this buddy

I'll drop you a pm now.

Deki

I'm sorry. Know that all good thoughts are sent to you and your family. Hope you all can begin to heal. Love to you all.:)

bellx1

Kiera, My thoughts are with you, your family and your nephew. You wrote a lovely peice about your sis. I hope the days and nights get somewhat easier for you as time goes by. Take some comfort that you have your own special angel xx

paperclip2

Sorry for your loss Kiera

Dude111

Kiera wrote:

Its amazing how much people online actually care and i want to thank all of you.....Saibh, Gt......you know who x x x

Of Course we care,we are a family so to speak right?

I am so sorry you lost your sister



The 1 thing the internet is missing IS VOICE,if you could hear the caring sounds of my voice,it would melt you away...

I care MORE than most and its hard showing it on the internet WHERE THERE IS NO VOICE,all i can do is ask you to trust that i do

weiland79

Very sorry for your loss Kiera.

hshortt

That's very sad. I wish you and your sisters husband and child a lifetime of happy memories of what your sister was like before this illness took her.

Morlar

Sorry to hear of your loss.

psycho-hope

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister Kiera, I'm sure shes up there looking down on you all.
take care

eyeball kid

Very sorry to hear of your loss Kiera.

sassychick

Sorry to hear of your loss keira must be so hard for you and your family and of course your nephew:(Im sure your sister is looking down on you all and she will help you thru this very difficult time...your post was lovely you are in my prayers xx

bryaner

Very sorry for your loss Kiera, a mate of mine lost his wife recently (36) to cancer, he is trying to be as strong as poss for the kids (6) (12).

She was the big sis in her family and the one her little sis would go to for advice in times of crisis, men trouble etc etc.

So I could only imagine the void you have in your life and how to try and fill it.

sweetie

I offer my deepest symapthies in this difficult time for you.

MidlandsM

So sorry to read of your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

MrsA

What a beautiful post and an amazing tribute to your sister.

I am very sorry for your loss and for the void she has left in your life

xx

fataltragedy

I am so sorry to read this thread, and see your loss.

I know I'm only a new member here as of today, and so, my comment will not be the same as all of your board friends here who are posting but, I went through the same as you did back in July of this year - lost my big sister to lung cancer, so, reading this...



Beautiful tribute post you wrote though, of the last days, and the battle. She's at peace now and - I hope you're finding some little healing in each day, even if it's just a small step.

take each day as it comes. x

SparkyTech

That's a wonderful tribute to your sister OP. My deepest sympathy.

Kiera

Thanks so much for all the well wishes. They actually mean quite a lot x x

Wurly

Kiera - i'm so so sorry to hear about your sister. What an absolute tragedy and a horrendous thing to go through.

If you ever need a chat, you know where I am. You were very kind to me last year during a hard time.

Hope Christmas was okay and that you managed to enjoy it as best you could.xx

steddyeddy

Kiera wrote: »

I only ever talk about my crap when I've drink on me. I'll probably get the mods to delete this tomorrow.

I lost my sister last week to cancer. She had it for 6 yrs and 4 days. They didn't think she'd make it past 2 yrs but she was a stubborn bitch like me and fought it for 4 yrs more. Until it spread to her brain.

They told us they could treat it in her brain but the radio didn't work and they gave us 4 months last Aug. That turned out to be them telling us she'd be gone by the 1st of Oct ( the exact day 6 yrs later after she found out she had it)

She fought it so hard at home until she went into a deep sleep. She never wanted to go to a hospice as she has an 8yr old (my nephew/godchild) and she wanted everthing to be the same for him.

It changed on the 19th of Sept. She had to go in. It broke all our hearts but she still had in the back of her head that she was in there for rest and coming home.

She got so confused in there. She asked me where my Dad was ( Our Dad died 15 yrs ago when i was 15) I told her he was at work. The last conversation i had with her was " Are you still with John". My ex. The last words she said to me/and i was the last person she spoke to/ were: Hi Siobhán. And she went to sleep never woke up.

6 days later she fell asleep for good.

She looked so beautiful and was always beautiful. She took so much pride in herself and when they laid her out in the house she looked liked our angle.

I've been so strong for my Mam and her hubby who are broken. I think i'm just typing this to let it all out and dont want any of my family or friends to know how much i'm hurting. Bonito has been my rock and I'd like to thank him for the last week. The poor chap hasn't left my side and I've had so much support from a lot of boardsies like Quallers, Windy, Chef, Java and the rest of you guys.

Its amazing how much people online actually care and i want to thank all of you.....Saibh, Gt......you know who x x x

I am very sorry for your loss, please talk about how you feel to friends, family or even on here. its important to know your not alone.

Deaf student

Kiera wrote: »

I only ever talk about my crap when I've drink on me. I'll probably get the mods to delete this tomorrow.

I lost my sister last week to cancer. She had it for 6 yrs and 4 days. They didn't think she'd make it past 2 yrs but she was a stubborn bitch like me and fought it for 4 yrs more. Until it spread to her brain.

They told us they could treat it in her brain but the radio didn't work and they gave us 4 months last Aug. That turned out to be them telling us she'd be gone by the 1st of Oct ( the exact day 6 yrs later after she found out she had it)

She fought it so hard at home until she went into a deep sleep. She never wanted to go to a hospice as she has an 8yr old (my nephew/godchild) and she wanted everthing to be the same for him.

It changed on the 19th of Sept. She had to go in. It broke all our hearts but she still had in the back of her head that she was in there for rest and coming home.

She got so confused in there. She asked me where my Dad was ( Our Dad died 15 yrs ago when i was 15) I told her he was at work. The last conversation i had with her was " Are you still with John". My ex. The last words she said to me/and i was the last person she spoke to/ were: Hi Siobhán. And she went to sleep never woke up.

6 days later she fell asleep for good.

She looked so beautiful and was always beautiful. She took so much pride in herself and when they laid her out in the house she looked liked our angle.

I've been so strong for my Mam and her hubby who are broken. I think i'm just typing this to let it all out and dont want any of my family or friends to know how much i'm hurting. Bonito has been my rock and I'd like to thank him for the last week. The poor chap hasn't left my side and I've had so much support from a lot of boardsies like Quallers, Windy, Chef, Java and the rest of you guys.

Its amazing how much people online actually care and i want to thank all of you.....Saibh, Gt......you know who x x x

It was a beautiful post as you penned it very well. Sorry to hear your loss and it's good to let your feelings out even it was hard to speak to your families about it.

I went through the same patch as you did when my two friends & my brother i knew well, died within the past 6 months.

I sincerely hope that you will find some healing as time goes on. Try and keep the chin up. I'm sure that your sis above will be looking after you.

Professional Griefer

Its amazing the power of the internet, how easy you can feel connected to people.

Reading through your post really brought a tear to my eye, it was beautiful.

I am very sorry for your loss, I can thankfully say I've never lost a member of my family, but i remember when one of my friends granddads passed recently and I was also in pieces. I hope you and your family are doing well.

And I know you have plenty of friends here on boards, but if you ever need anyone to talk to, you can count of me, even though you don't know me at all, I'd be more than happy to chat to you.

dunbar

Hi kiera,

You don't know me, and i don't know you but i feel better for knowing that there are people like you out there, you seem so strong but its important for you to know that your not alone. You described your sister so beautifully. I'm not a religious person, but i will say a prayer for you and your family and you will be in my thoughts.


J

LegacyUser

I lost my younger brother to cancer last year. He was only 20.

The pain is unbearable. Time goes by and it fades from peoples minds but for me, its like he died yesterday.

He was incredibly brave. He endured all the treatment, chemo + radio but the cancer came back and spread to all his body. He went from having years to live, to months and in a short period of time just weeks.

He had to stay at a hospice so they could get his pain medication sorted out but all he wanted to do was get home. With every bit of his strength he did it. He came and spent the last couple of weeks at home...

I would do anything to bring him back.

Keira: You are in my thoughts.

Kiera

Wow hard to beleive a year has passed. Sorry for the bump, mods. Just wanted to leave a quick note to those who have also lost someone.

I think the year following the death of a loved one is so hard. You have to go through all the "firsts". First Birthday without them, first Christmas, first trip away without them, first everything really and its very tough. I'm hoping now all the first are out of the way that it will get much easier. I find remembering all the fun times and not the sickness a big help. No point in dwelling on the bad. Remember your loved one for all the giggles they gave you.

I'm always here if anyone needs to chat and to help others like i've been helped on this site.

Miss you Sis x x x

Ickle Magoo

I was thinking of you today as I thought it was around this time last year you posted that wonderful OP.

Thinking of you and yours Kiera xxxxxx

steddyeddy

Kiera wrote: »

Wow hard to beleive a year has passed. Sorry for the bump, mods. Just wanted to leave a quick note to those who have also lost someone.

I think the year following the death of a loved one is so hard. You have to go through all the "firsts". First Birthday without them, first Christmas, first trip away without them, first everything really and its very tough. I'm hoping now all the first are out of the way that it will get much easier. I find remembering all the fun times and not the sickness a big help. No point in dwelling on the bad. Remember your loved one for all the giggles they gave you.

I'm always here if anyone needs to chat and to help others like i've been helped on this site.

Miss you Sis x x x

Hope your doing well Keira. You seem to be on the right track anyway. x

Maple

I'm so sorry to hear of your sister, I can't imagine the hurt and loss.

Mind yourself, be good to yourself. Please take care.

crazygeryy

Your very courageous to post that message.my deepest condolences to you and all your family.she was extremely lucky to have a sister like you.mind yourself and take care.

pada1981

sorry to hear that, i lost my mam to cancer in march 2010, heartbreaking, still cant believe it, no words for your pain and loss, ill say a prayer for you and your family xx god bless

WindSock

Fair play to you Kiera, it must have been an incredibly difficult year x

MrsStuffings

I'm sorry to hear about your sister Keira.
I just randomly came into this forum and while it is a sad forum, some of the posts are nice reading, yours being one of them. It's upsetting to read of how sad everyone is, but then the posts where they talk about how great/special unique their loved one was is very nice to read.
RIP to your sister and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Take care.

kelle

Oh, Kiera I only read about your sister for the first time today. A very heartbreaking post - I am so sorry for your loss, and I hope you and your family are all OK.

You're all in my thoughts.

Fittle

Kiera, I often think of you so am glad that this post was bumped. I've lost both my parents when I was pretty young - but I think the loss of a sibling must be so different. It's just not supposed to happen.
Your post at the time, was so beautifully put, and when I see you on other threads this past year, I often wonder how you're doing, and how your sisters child and hubby are.

Anyway, just wanted to say that - take care.

Kiera

Fittle wrote: »

Kiera, I often think of you so am glad that this post was bumped. I've lost both my parents when I was pretty young - but I think the loss of a sibling must be so different. It's just not supposed to happen.
Your post at the time, was so beautifully put, and when I see you on other threads this past year, I often wonder how you're doing, and how your sisters child and hubby are.

Anyway, just wanted to say that - take care.

Awww thank you and i'm so sorry for your loss x

Her hubby and little boy are getting there. Jamie (her son) is acutally starting to talk about his Mam now and its really nice. He's not holding it in anymore which is great and everything he says is positive and he never speaks about seeing her so sick which is great and i hope those thoughts are far far away from his mind.

And thanks to everyone for the lovely comments since i posted last. They really mean a lot and just prove how caring people are x x

Poor Uncle Tom

I read most of your first post before my eyes filled up, so I havent read any more, just to say I've had two very dear family members taken by cancer and it fukin sucks.

In the early 70's my 3 brothers and myself were growing up and into machinery and bikes, as I think all lads were then. As with all family's some get on better with some than with others. I got on really well with Tony, we did everything together.....fast forward over 20 years, 6 operations, thousands of miles of travel and hundreds of thousands of prayers....and I'm buried my brother from complications from a fukin tumor. He's dead 15 years but I'm crying right now, and he was'nt the last.

Anyway morbidity over, life does go on...

It's different, and the focus is very different, but it does go on, you will never be the same again, but you have to make the most of it.

silly

Kiera,
Only saw this thread now.
So sorry to hear about your sister. We lost our far too young cousin to cancer 2 years ago and it's still hard to think about.
Hope you and your family are doing good after 1 year.

goat2

thanks kira, it is good for all of us to know that deep down we are one and the same, feel pain the same way, always light a candle to her, she is never far away, and keep her in you and her sons mind, speak of her always to him, you have alot to tell him, about the early years and the kind of sis she was to you, and mother she was to him,
she is no longer in pain, she is looking after you and him along with the rest of her family,
you can live with the great memories of a childhood together,
keep well.