How to clear our national debt FAST!

Ben Hadad

Right, I know how we can quickly clear our national debt.

Bill Gates is rich right. And he also has a microsoft office in Dublin.

All we need is someone in Microsoft to send an email invitation to big Bill, asking him to come meet his loyal employees in his Dublin camps. Bill being Bill will surely jump at this invitiation and take up our inside mans kind offer.

Then as soon as Bill gets in, we get the Irish army to sieze him and hold him hostage demanding whatever obscene amount in billions we owe.

He's a billionare right, and he also has Buffets billions as well. Billions plus billions eqauls billionsbillions right?

We have a large and loyal fifth column in yankeeland; they wouldn't dream of lifting a finger. We are part of the European Union; they can't invade themselves, and the rest of the world wouldn't really care.

We can all be out of this hole in about two weeks, no problem, and Bill gets to complete his life work of giving away all his fortune to needy causes

Win win.

Johro

Ben Hadad wrote: »

How to clear our national debt FAST!

Grow Opium.

PeterIanStaker

Johro wrote: »

Grow Opium.

Then get invaded by America. We're already controlled by religious fundamentalists.

mfceiling

Ben Hadad wrote: »

Right, I know how we can quickly clear our national debt.

Bill Gates is rich right. And he also has a microsoft office in Dublin.

All we need is someone in Microsoft to send an email invitation to big Bill, asking him to come meet his loyal employees in his Dublin camps. Bill being Bill will surely jump at this invitiation and take up our inside mans kind offer.

Then as soon as Bill gets in, we get the Irish army to sieze him and hold him hostage demanding whatever obscene amount in billions we owe.

He's a billionare right, and he also has Buffets billions as well. Billions plus billions eqauls billionsbillions right?

We have a large and loyal fifth column in yankeeland; they wouldn't dream of lifting a finger. We are part of the European Union; they can't invade themselves, and the rest of the world wouldn't really care.

We can all be out of this hole in about two weeks, no problem, and Bill gets to complete his life work of giving away all his fortune to needy causes

Win win.

With you 100% on this............where do we start

galwayrush

Johro wrote: »

Grow Opium.

Drugs apparently solved a lot of Columbia's debt problems. What do we have here, Magic Mushrooms.......:D

admiralofthefleet

PeterIanStaker wrote: »

Then get invaded by America. We're already controlled by religious fundamentalists.

im getting confused here, doesnt america control the worlds supply of opium?

strokemyclover

galwayrush wrote: »

What do we have here, Magic Mushrooms.......:D

On this thread, yes!

Scuid Mhór

i like the way you think, after hours.

AnonoBoy

Ah leave Bill alone.

Can we not just kidnap that Facebook nerd?

Guy:Incognito

galwayrush wrote: »

Drugs apparently solved a lot of Columbia's debt problems.

And in turn has led to a happy , content society that is trouble free. There is no downside to this, we need to start now.

galwayrush

Stekelly wrote: »

And in turn has led to a happy , content society that is trouble free. There is no downside to this, we need to start now.

Phew, i was worried about the side effects, but now i'm reassured. When do we start?:pac:

Lynchy_

How about selling Leitrim? Do we really need it?

Superbus

Lynchy_ wrote: »

How about selling Leitrim? Do we really need it?

Who would want it?

I guess as an incentive Roscommon could be thrown in at half-price.

PanchoVilla

How's about we kidnap the fúcking pope? The Catholic Church has trillions worth of priceless treasures and real estate all over the globe. Where the fúck are they now that the country is on it's knees? How about we seize all their assets in this country? That should knock a billion or two off the books.

Sheeps

have boards.ie donate €1 for every shit thread about the recession

PeterIanStaker

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

im getting confused here, doesnt america control the worlds supply of opium?

Well if we grew it, they'd want to control it. Grow it and they will come.

FreudianSlippers

PanchoVilla wrote: »

How's about we kidnap the fúcking pope? The Catholic Church has trillions worth of priceless treasures and real estate all over the globe. Where the fúck are they now that the country is on it's knees? How about we seize all their assets in this country? That should knock a billion or two off the books.

Yeah! You tell 'em!


Oh wait, who do we sell these priceless treasures to?

mfceiling

Superbus wrote: »

Who would want it?

I guess as an incentive Roscommon could be thrown in at half-price.

And tell me..........what would we do with that €6.50?

FreudianSlippers

I say we wall off Limerick and record what happens (a la that shítty film Deathrace).

ArtSmart

OisinT wrote: »

I say we wall off Limerick and record what happens (a la that shítty film Deathrace).

but suppose no one survives?






oh, right. gotcha.

galwayrush

Lynchy_ wrote: »

How about selling Leitrim? Do we really need it?

No good,
Leitrim is in negative equity, (all those un sold holiday homes.)

ArtSmart

Actually the more i think bout it, the more i like it.

There could be a theme song like
'the siege of limerick'...


oh, wait-

Lynchy_

galwayrush wrote: »

No good,
Leitrim is in negative equity, (all those un sold holiday homes.)

Feck..

Ok, how about we sell the Phoenix Park to Iran maybe? I'm sure it'd represent a great opportunity for them to get closer to America.

I can see it now:

Iran (Part 2),
Phoenix Park,
Dublin 8,
Ireland, Iran.

policarp

OisinT wrote: »

Yeah! You tell 'em!


Oh wait, who do we sell these priceless treasures to?

Bill Gates...

FreudianSlippers

policarp wrote: »

Bill Gates...

So we kidnap Bill Gates, take over the Vatican and then force Bill Gates to buy all of the stuff?

I can find no flaws with this plan.

But this is AH, it's more likely people will just sit around and moan.

argosy2006

tax every post on boards, that will take in millions,

CamperMan

cut ALL welfare payments by at least 50%, cut all public sector pay to be inline with the rest of the EU, teachers, doctors, nurses, cops, council workers are earning far too much for the little work they do

FreudianSlippers

CamperMan wrote: »

cut ALL welfare payments by at least 50%, cut all public sector pay to be inline with the rest of the EU, teachers, doctors, nurses, cops, council workers are earning far too much for the little work they do

A serious post?


:mad: BAN!

michael999999

bring rooney to catherine street for a weekend,national debt cleared!!

Johro

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Ah leave Bill alone.

Can we not just kidnap that Facebook nerd?

Ya could kidnap the bankers. But who'd pay the ransom..?

Jamiekelly

legalize marijuana

Johro

Stekelly wrote: »

And in turn has led to a happy , content society that is trouble free. There is no downside to this, we need to start now.

You have a point. No I was thinking more of the government wanting to subdue us, more cuts on the way and all that. Plus the money of course. Two birds, one stone.

Johro

Jamiekelly wrote: »

legalize marijuana

Nah. They'd only slap a tax on it, like on tobacco. Nearly 9 euro for a 25g packet of Drum..
4 euro 60c. on the continent, for 50g.

ArtSmart

Jamiekelly wrote: »

legalize marijuana

or criminalise coffee (after buying and hoarding lots of it)

Overheal

Johro wrote: »

Grow Opium.

lol you dont have the climate for that.

bonzodog2

Johro wrote: »

You have a point. No I was thinking more of the government wanting to subdue us, more cuts on the way and all that. Plus the money of course. Two birds, one stone.

Is that one of those videos that you can't unwatch ?

Harekin

Johro wrote: »

Nah. They'd only slap a tax on it, like on tobacco. Nearly 9 euro for a 25g packet of Drum..
4 euro 60c. on the continent, for 50g.

If they taxed it too highly it'd lead to a blackmarket emerging.

The legalising cannabis argument is a solid argument, realistically, because a large minority of the population is doing it anyways! A few bulletpoints highlighting the reasons cannabis alone could fix our economy.

1. Free up prison places for what are generally non-violent crimes (it costs between 50-90 thousand euro per prisoner per year), there are over 600 jailbirds walking the streets because of overcrowding.

2. Free up police resources because they waste SO much money on a drug that is less harmless than the national favourite alcohol (which is also a drug, you think if alcohol was only discovered now it would be legal?!) and then go and attack the drugs that ACTUALLY harm society.

3. Massively boost tourism (do you think people go to Amsterdam for the architecture?!)

4. Coffeeshops (or whatever outlet would emerge) would pay taxes, employ people (who pay PAYE), electricity charges for growing, they'd probably buy their supplies in Ireland meaning more money ploughed back into our economy.

5. The drugs gangs would lose their main source of income and even the ditch weed that international criminals import into Ireland would no longer be of an acceptable quality thus meaning Ireland wouldnt be contributing to the international criminality.

6. Probably more importantly, people suffering for a HUGE range of illnesses (cancer, HIV/AIDS, MS, Parkinsons, etc) would be able to live a higher quality of life than they do currently and freely access the substance to do so.

A few other points:

People wouldnt try harder drugs...the Gateway Effect I personally believe is because currently people must buy their weed off a dealer, who in turn offer you harder stuff ("You wanna try some of this?").

You could regulate it the same as alcohol, with stricter penalties for underage sales and DUI.

Let me provide some statistics just for the craic aswell:

ANNUAL AMERICAN DEATHS CAUSED BY DRUGS

TOBACCO ........................ 400,000
ALCOHOL ........................ 100,000
ALL LEGAL DRUGS ................ 20,000
ALL ILLEGAL DRUGS .............. 15,000
CAFFEINE ....................... 2,000
ASPIRIN ........................ 500
MARIJUANA ...................... 0

---

Source: United States government
National Institute on Drug Abuse,
Bureau of Mortality Statistics

I really dont see a disadvantage?

Cheap Thrills!

Round up all the politicians, bankers, regulators, crooked developers, senior Civil servants and other miscellaneous societal parasites.

Set up a pay-in human safari park. Provide paint guns and pellet guns to paying members of the public.

Dress the crooked cannon fodder in meat suits and release them into the park. (park would be havily populated with foxes, hungry dogs and other meat lovin critters) Commence hunting them down through rough terrain and shooting them till their fat blubbery bodies are riddled with painful bruises and nibble wounds from the rabid mob and assorted peckish wildlife.

Round them all up again at nighttime and feed them enough to keep them alive and house them in cages at night. Release them again every day until the admission fee's ensure the debt is cleared. Might take several million aeons.

Then churn them up into mincemeat and feed them to the critters. :cool::pac:

strobe

1. Pick a county, somewhere that doesn't really serve any purpose.......Sligo in other words. Commandeer all the land and property, move the people that used to live there to the ghost estates scattered all over the country.

2. Employ all the out of work construction workers to demolish the majority of homes and businesses that used to be there.

3. Legalize prostitution and the sale and possession all forms of illegal drugs in Sligo, and change the licensing laws to allow everywhere to stay open 24hrs a day.

4. Have the construction workers build hundreds of brothels, nightclubs, casinos and drug dens. Then have them build an international airport and a big wall around the newly built city.

5. Once the new kick ass party city is built train all the construction workers and support staff up as brothel, nightclub, casino, airport and drug den workers. Train more unemployed to fill any more positions needed.

6. Once Sligo starts exceeding it's capacity, move onto the next county that's dragging it's feet in terms of usefulness. Looking at you Mayo.

7. Enjoy the creation of thousands of jobs and billions a year in tourist monies.

OutlawPete

Is there any country in the world that doesn't owe money?

TPD

Harekin wrote: »

I really dont see a disadvantage?

I don't think I've ever seen an 'anti cannabis' person change their mind, no matter how much relentless logic and reason is thrown at them. Those who'd agree with you probably already do, and those who wouldn't probably never will.

I'm all for it by the way.

Kasabian

strobe wrote: »

1. Pick a county, somewhere that doesn't really serve any purpose.......Sligo in other words. Commandeer all the land and property, move the people that used to live there to the ghost estates scattered all over the country.

That means Sligo people having to mingle with normal people, not good.

2. Employ all the out of work construction workers to demolish the majority of homes and businesses that used to be there.

Thats about a weeks work.

3. Legalize prostitution and the sale and possession all forms of illegal drugs in Sligo, and change the licensing laws to allow everywhere to stay open 24hrs a day.

Already in place just ask any Garda who has had the misfortune of being in Sligo.

4. Have the construction workers build hundreds of brothels, nightclubs, casinos and drug dens. Then have them build an international airport and a big wall around the newly built city.

Shall we rename it hell, oh wait let me rethink that one

5. Once the new kick ass party city is built train all the construction workers and support staff up as brothel, nightclub, casino, airport and drug den workers. Train more unemployed to fill any more positions needed.

Only someone from Sligo would consider it a city, to the rest it's a village of inbreds and once the construction workers start breeding with the locals only a nuclear bomb will fix the problems.

6. Once Sligo starts exceeding it's capacity, move onto the next county that's dragging it's feet in terms of usefulness. Looking at you Mayo.

See above, same issues

7. Enjoy the creation of thousands of jobs and billions a year in tourist monies.

Lets have a commitee formed as I see cracks appearing in your theory.

Cheap Thrills!

strobe wrote: »

1. Pick a county, somewhere that doesn't really serve any purpose.......Sligo in other words. Commandeer all the land and property, move the people that used to live there to the ghost estates scattered all over the country.

2. Employ all the out of work construction workers to demolish the majority of homes and businesses that used to be there.

3. Legalize prostitution and the sale and possession all forms of illegal drugs in Sligo, and change the licensing laws to allow everywhere to stay open 24hrs a day.

4. Have the construction workers build hundreds of brothels, nightclubs, casinos and drug dens. Then have them build an international airport and a big wall around the newly built city.

5. Once the new kick ass party city is built train all the construction workers and support staff up as brothel, nightclub, casino, airport and drug den workers. Train more unemployed to fill any more positions needed.

6. Once Sligo starts exceeding it's capacity, move onto the next county that's dragging it's feet in terms of usefulness. Looking at you Mayo.

7. Enjoy the creation of thousands of jobs and billions a year in tourist monies.

That's 'Amsterdam' from 'the Wire' !!!!

But still, it could work!! :pac:

Kasabian

OutlawPete wrote: »

Is there any country in the world that doesn't owe money?

.

I will have a guess at Saudi , Venezuela and Nashville

Tomtata

OutlawPete wrote: »

Is there any country in the world that doesn't owe money?

See attached

Sea Sharp

Legalise marijuana and MDMA.
Then we sit back and watch all those crazy Europeans coming over for raves and/or stoner sessions.

Pauleta

Turn the empty building sites around Carrickmines and Cherrywood into state run super casino's and turn South Dublin into Europe's Las Vegas

ArtSmart

Pauleta wrote: »

Turn the empty building sites around Carrickmines and Cherrywood into state run super casino's and turn South Dublin into Europe's Las Vegas

I dibs a stripper job. (paint stripper / maintenance)

Johro

Harekin wrote: »

If they taxed it too highly it'd lead to a blackmarket emerging.

The legalising cannabis argument is a solid argument, realistically, because a large minority of the population is doing it anyways! A few bulletpoints highlighting the reasons cannabis alone could fix our economy.

1. Free up prison places for what are generally non-violent crimes (it costs between 50-90 thousand euro per prisoner per year), there are over 600 jailbirds walking the streets because of overcrowding.

2. Free up police resources because they waste SO much money on a drug that is less harmless than the national favourite alcohol (which is also a drug, you think if alcohol was only discovered now it would be legal?!) and then go and attack the drugs that ACTUALLY harm society.

3. Massively boost tourism (do you think people go to Amsterdam for the architecture?!)

4. Coffeeshops (or whatever outlet would emerge) would pay taxes, employ people (who pay PAYE), electricity charges for growing, they'd probably buy their supplies in Ireland meaning more money ploughed back into our economy.

5. The drugs gangs would lose their main source of income and even the ditch weed that international criminals import into Ireland would no longer be of an acceptable quality thus meaning Ireland wouldnt be contributing to the international criminality.

6. Probably more importantly, people suffering for a HUGE range of illnesses (cancer, HIV/AIDS, MS, Parkinsons, etc) would be able to live a higher quality of life than they do currently and freely access the substance to do so.

A few other points:

People wouldnt try harder drugs...the Gateway Effect I personally believe is because currently people must buy their weed off a dealer, who in turn offer you harder stuff ("You wanna try some of this?").

You could regulate it the same as alcohol, with stricter penalties for underage sales and DUI.

Let me provide some statistics just for the craic aswell:

ANNUAL AMERICAN DEATHS CAUSED BY DRUGS

TOBACCO ........................ 400,000
ALCOHOL ........................ 100,000
ALL LEGAL DRUGS ................ 20,000
ALL ILLEGAL DRUGS .............. 15,000
CAFFEINE ....................... 2,000
ASPIRIN ........................ 500
MARIJUANA ...................... 0

---

Source: United States government
National Institute on Drug Abuse,
Bureau of Mortality Statistics

I really dont see a disadvantage?

Agreed. Can't see it happening though. And a black market would emerge. Which would be illegal, again.

Capt'n Midnight

http://www.linwoods.co.uk/en/super_food.php?cat=8#prod10 :eek:

Hemp is a delicious snack or also a perfect accompaniment to cereal, fruit, yogurt, soup, juice, casseroles, smoothies, stir fry or baking.

Misanthrope

Steve Jobs will pay the debt if you keep him, finish him off even.Just make sure he never sees light of day.

or

You could kidnap Anne Coulter and threaten to let her go if the whole world doesn't pay up