No best friend?

LegacyUser

Hi. My son is ten (only child) and has just gone into fifth class. From junior infants, himself and another boy latched onto each other - they were both pretty shy. As time moved on, I could see that they had little in common (they were like chalk and cheese) and after an incident in 2nd class, he decided he didn't really want to be this boys 'best friend' again. It was a bit of a 'bullying' incident - nothing too serious.

Anyway, roll on three years and my son still hasn't gotten himself another 'best friend'. He sometimes complains about being a bit lonely in the school yard and that most other kids are paired off, except for him. He's a pretty popular kid, gets invited to all the parties, has good friends at home in the area, gets on well with cousins etc - he's generally 'liked' if that's the best way to put it.

But I'm beginning to get concerned that it's worrying him that he doesn't have a best friend to confide in. He knows himself he can pick up the phone at anytime and ring his pals, and they'll come over or he'll go over to them. But I can see he's feeling it that he doesn't have that one person to pal with...any ideas?? Should I encourage a closer friendship with some of the lads, in the hope he will become 'best friends' with them, or will it just take its course, naturally?

Sorry if I sound like an over protective mam but the teenage years are approaching...

Khannie

I wouldn't worry about it myself. Once he's socialising (and it sounds like he is) I think that's the important thing. He'll naturally find someone that he gets on better with at some point. Secondary school is just around the corner so there will be lots of new people to meet then.

How Strange

Personally I'd leave him be and let him navigate through it for himself. He seems sociable and well liked so that's not a problem.

My younger brother had lots of close pals in national school, went to a different secondary school to them and seemed to be a bit of a loner for a couple of years. He'd have a tendency to be a bit odd in himself at times anyway but my parents didn't interfere and by transition year he had a good circle if friends again and became
mr.sociable.

As u said if he appears to be well liked and sociable then I wouldn't worry too much. Making close friendships is something that happens organically imo and can't be forced. Perhaps he just doesn't click with the lads in his class enough to want to be mire than buddies and there's nothing wrong with that either. If anything it shows he knows his own mind.

LegacyUser

Thanks.

If I'm honest, I'm really glad he veered away from that lad in 2nd class - I never liked him! I knew my lad would cop onto him eventually (I sound awful here, sorry!).

Yeah, he's popular alright, so I'm not really worried about that side of things. Goes for sleepovers regularly, parties, mixes well socially (always has thankfully). He was just complaining again yesterday that he roams around the yard alone most days - has the odd chat with x or y, and that's it. They all play football in the yard, and he's not a big fan. He was thinking back to the days when he had that 'best friend' set up, where you always knew who you were gonna play with in the yard...

I dunno...kids eh?

Ok, so I'll do nothing and just let it progress naturally....