Is she too young for me??

Fluorescence

I'm inclined to say that if you have to ask.... At the very least don't do anything illegal til she turns 17. I doubt it would count as grooming since it's only a few months.

cynder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98QH7LdPeO0&feature=related

up for anything

grindelwald wrote: »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98QH7LdPeO0&feature=related

Is this safe to watch?

**Vai**

Good on ya. Enjoy the vitality of a young wan! This video explains more...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4rLec7MXf0

cynder

up for anything wrote: »

Is this safe to watch?

yep,

Its an old song about an older guy having feelings for a younger girl. (think its from the 1960's my mother had it on LP)

RedDevil1878

Okay so first of all i want to say cheers for all the replies, i wasnt expectin so many ppl to reply.
Secondly everyone who keeps callin me a peado lay off like, im far from it !! I havent had sex with her, I have kissed her !
I can try and answer a few questions that i noticed people asking..
- Yes i have a job
- She is still in school
- She has a job 2
- Her parents dont know me (i have had other girlfriends in the time i have knowin her so i why would i be in hers). I have only started seein her a few weeks she has not been to meet my parents either.
- Yes i will wait to she's legal
- And yes we really do like each other alot.

I only covered the questions i can remember of the top of my head.
If she was already 17 I know most peolpe wouldn't think anythinf of it. Its cause she's 16 atm that you have a problem. She turns 17 jus after i turn 21.. 21 and 17 is not a big deal.. Then its..
22 - 18
23 - 19
24 - 20
25 - 21 . . . Like as it goes on

I already know of one of my friends friends who's 21 and with a 17 year old, mind you she turns 18 when hes 21. But 2 months later he turns 22.. Soooo ?

up for anything

grindelwald wrote: »

yep,

Its an old song about an older guy having feelings for a younger girl. (think its from the 1960's my mother had it on LP)

I know it. Friends of ours had it on a LP when I was a teenager. I loved it and still know all the words and tune.

off.the.walls

I think most people here would agree that most girls from the age of 15 and up are dirty as hell because they haven't had the experiences that most of us would have and are gagging for a shagging so to put it, as for the age gap so what? 4 years ain't to bad BUT do not ride her until she's 17 or legally you can be done for rape under irish law, besides that i'd say go with what you're gut tells you and not what you head tells you dude.

cynder

up for anything wrote: »

I know it. Friends of ours had it on a LP when I was a teenager. I loved it and still know all the words and tune.

I like it too, i didn't think to many people would know it, let alone like it. It got me through my teen years, as i had a crush on a 23 year old and I was only 15. Very catchy song.

cynder

RedDevil1878 wrote: »

Okay so first of all i want to say cheers for all the replies, i wasnt expectin so many ppl to reply.
Secondly everyone who keeps callin me a peado lay off like, im far from it !! I havent had sex with her, I have kissed her !
I can try and answer a few questions that i noticed people asking..
- Yes i have a job
- She is still in school
- She has a job 2
- Her parents dont know me (i have had other girlfriends in the time i have knowin her so i why would i be in hers). I have only started seein her a few weeks she has not been to meet my parents either.
- Yes i will wait to she's legal
- And yes we really do like each other alot.

I only covered the questions i can remember of the top of my head.
If she was already 17 I know most peolpe wouldn't think anythinf of it. Its cause she's 16 atm that you have a problem. She turns 17 jus after i turn 21.. 21 and 17 is not a big deal.. Then its..
22 - 18
23 - 19
24 - 20
25 - 21 . . . Like as it goes on

I already know of one of my friends friends who's 21 and with a 17 year old, mind you she turns 18 when hes 21. But 2 months later he turns 22.. Soooo ?

Did you read the thread on the parenting forum. It might help to know where her parents are coming from, when they are told about the relationship.

Best of luck.

K-9

RedDevil1878 wrote: »

Okay so first of all i want to say cheers for all the replies, i wasnt expectin so many ppl to reply.
Secondly everyone who keeps callin me a peado lay off like, im far from it !! I havent had sex with her, I have kissed her !
I can try and answer a few questions that i noticed people asking..
- Yes i have a job
- She is still in school
- She has a job 2
- Her parents dont know me (i have had other girlfriends in the time i have knowin her so i why would i be in hers). I have only started seein her a few weeks she has not been to meet my parents either.
- Yes i will wait to she's legal
- And yes we really do like each other alot.

I only covered the questions i can remember of the top of my head.
If she was already 17 I know most peolpe wouldn't think anythinf of it. Its cause she's 16 atm that you have a problem. She turns 17 jus after i turn 21.. 21 and 17 is not a big deal.. Then its..
22 - 18
23 - 19
24 - 20
25 - 21 . . . Like as it goes on

I already know of one of my friends friends who's 21 and with a 17 year old, mind you she turns 18 when hes 21. But 2 months later he turns 22.. Soooo ?

Seems your mind is made up anyway.

What sort of common interests do you share?

star-pants

OP - why did you bother asking? I'm not giving out, but you're decided on what you're doing anyway, and you're just trying to convince the people who aren't on your side. So one wonders, are you trying to convince others or convince yourself?

If ye are both willing to hold off on certain activities until the legal age, and you're willing to put in the ground work with her parents (sorry but it is a factor) and you're willing to deal with the fact ye shall be restricted with time spent together (I assume she has a curfew, and she can't go on nights out/pubs/etc) and ye both really care and want to try it out, then why ask strangers opinions?

dilapidating

RedDevil1878 wrote: »

She turns 17 jus after i turn 21.. 21 and 17 is not a big deal.. Then its..
22 - 18
23 - 19
24 - 20
25 - 21 . . . Like as it goes on

She only wants someone to hug during the cold winter nights.
Don't get too ahead of yourself.

Scuid Mhór

reddevil1878 sure is a devil, huh?

vetstu

It'll probably be your last chance to f*** a 16 yo, so go for it

RedDevil1878

grindelwald wrote: »

Did you read the thread on the parenting forum. It might help to know where her parents are coming from, when they are told about the relationship.

Best of luck.

Yes i read through it briefly, i understand where her parents could see a problem with it. Let me just say that im not actually her boyfriend, as i said i have been seeing her and its nothing too serious. But as time goes on im surely going to get closer to her and maybe we will become a couple who knows.

Also to the people who said i had made my mind up, no i havent im jus looking to see what people may have thought about my situation and hear some advice. Obviously getting advice from my parents is the ideal situation but I dont feel like telling them about her because as i said its nothing too serious atm. So for now strangers on the internet will have to do haha.

Luxie

RedDevil1878 wrote: »

Hi der,

Im 20 years old, and currently kinda seeing a girl who is 16. Nothing too serious or anything but we do really like each other. I have knowin her roughly a year and a half but just recently i have started seeing her. I turn 21 now in january, and she will still be 16. She does turn 17 a month later in feb so that makes it just about 4 years that im older than her. So is she too young for me? I dont usually go after girls at that age btw, as my last girlfriend was 19. Please let me know what you think.

Much appreciated.

Feb is a mere four months away, as long as you keep things 'legit', it should be fine.

Not sure if her parents would be too keen, mind.

Micky Dolenz

Why have a girl, when you can have a woman?

questionmark?

Normal answer - Op if you like the girl then stick it out with her. The fact remains that the mojority of people posting here have being in some sort of a similer situation. Wheter that be they were 16 and with a 17 year old. How many people lost their cherry before the legal age of consent or even partook in some hand shandy action at the very least before it was fully legal. Jesus i was tapping a girl in her 20's when i was 15! Although i would advice just holding off having sex till she hits 17.



AH answer

nacho libre

Patrick Swayze was happily married to Lisa Niemi for 34 years. She was 15 to his 19 when they first met.

fonecrusher1

I don't like it.

Heres my perspective, i have a 16 year old niece, shes a kid. A 20 year old man is not a kid. I think its a bit creepy. If a 20 year old man took an interest in her, myself & my brothers & especially her father would not be happy about it & he would be given one warning to stay away. Simple as that.

Biggins

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

I don't like it.

Heres my perspective, i have a 16 year old niece, shes a kid. A 20 year old man is not a kid. I think its a bit creepy. If a 20 year old man took an interest in her, myself & my brothers & especially her father would not be happy about it & he would be given one warning to stay away. Simple as that.

As a parent of three daughters I would agree.

fonecrusher1

Mr.S wrote: »

What has the father got to do with this though? S'not like he owns her?!

No but he's responsible for taking care of her & her having a 20 year old boyfriend would have us all a bit concerned. Just wouldn't happen.

seven-iron

go for it man, you two should enjoy yourselves.

its only four years. i know loads of people who go out and theres a 4 year difference

TashaMonster

First can I just point out that like I said in my original message 4 years is NOT a big age gap, hell I don't even think that 30 years of an age gap would matter but it depends on the stage of life. Once people get into their twenties they're more or less grown up at that stage but the teenage years are a stage of life where every year there is a big shift in maturity level. I think it's a bit unfair to call my question stupid because the OP is asking is there anything wrong with dating this girl and I'm just asking him would he stil have considered dating her just a few years ago.

TashaMonster

For a start she's not 17 she's 16. Yeah a 16 year old girl is going to be more mature than a 13 year old, just the same as a 20 year old boy is going to be more mature than a 16 year old boy. In a couple of years I think there's no problem with that age gap, but right now I think it's not right.

Neadine

Simple answer... Yes, she is too young.
Nearly 17 makes her still 16.
You are nearly 21, still 20
16 = child
20 = adult

Micky Dolenz

If my 16 year old child came home with a 20 year old man, one would be getting grounded until their Leaving cert, the other would get the hole kicked off them.

Tallaght Saint

**** it, just go for it.

I know a bloke who was with a 15 year old when he was 21 :eek:

aDeener

VampiricPadraig wrote: »

When I was 18...I dated a 14-year-old girl*...Didn't last long.

the fuck?

fonecrusher1

Tallaght Saint wrote: »

**** it, just go for it.

I know a bloke who was with a 15 year old when he was 21 :eek:

Is he in prison now?

mickydoomsux

I remember when i was in my mid to late teens and even into my early twenties (27 now) that every even half decent looking 14-17 girl was having the arse rode off her by some 21+ guy as long as he had a car.

One of my friends 16 year old sister was going out with a guy for about a year who was 25 and i mean full on going out with. She used to stay over in his place, go out drinkinh with him and his friends etc. and the parents attitude was "she's going to do it anyway no matter what we do, at least we know where she is and yer man will surely be smart enough not to get her up the duff". Terrible parenting really.

And no one said anything. Doesn't make it right but i think people are much more excepting of this kind of thing once it actually happens.

HavingCrack

Tallaght Saint wrote: »

**** it, just go for it.

I know a bloke who was with a 15 year old when he was 21 :eek:

That's pretty much paedophelia.

Fittle

My name is URL wrote: »

Just don't do anything until it's actually not illegal

How many negatives in that sentence?

fonecrusher1

mickydoomsux wrote: »

One of my friends 16 year old sister was going out with a guy for about a year who was 25 and i mean full on going out with. She used to stay over in his place, go out drinkinh with him and his friends etc. and the parents attitude was "she's going to do it anyway no matter what we do, at least we know where she is and yer man will surely be smart enough not to get her up the duff". Terrible parenting really.

And no one said anything. Doesn't make it right but i think people are much more excepting of this kind of thing once it actually happens.

Disturbing.

Pathetic that a 25 year old man can't interact with women close to his own age so goes after school girls. Weird.

Xinkai

I think your all a bunch of hypocrites tbh. Even back when all you were 20, I'm sure you wish there was that one girl or boy that you couldhave been with. As for the parents in here, put yourself in the 16 year olds shoes, if you wanted that 20 year old and YOUR parents said no, and you know there's a genuine feeling for that 20 year old, imagine how much HATE you'd feel for your parents!

Ok, I firmly believe that yes, there is an age limit on a 20 year old dating a teenager, but personally I think that a 16 year old is perfect age. I'm 21 as I said in a previous post, and I was with a 17 year old. Her mum wasn't happy at first, but once I sat down with her mum and had a chat with her, she gave her blessing. Now if OP is a 20 year old feckin drug lord who smokes 40 a day and drinks cans, a scumbag basically, THEN I could see why the 16 year old would be told lol.

Bus as it stands, I say that a 20 year old and a 16 year old is ok age wise, but leave it to OP & OP's girlfriend to learn their own mistakes, and let OP decide if she's 'Too young'

HavingCrack

mickydoomsux wrote: »

One of my friends 16 year old sister was going out with a guy for about a year who was 25 and i mean full on going out with. She used to stay over in his place, go out drinkinh with him and his friends etc. and the parents attitude was "she's going to do it anyway no matter what we do, at least we know where she is and yer man will surely be smart enough not to get her up the duff". Terrible parenting really.

And no one said anything. Doesn't make it right but i think people are much more excepting of this kind of thing once it actually happens.

I'd have to say I'd find it really, really strange that a 25 year old man would want to go out with a 16 year old. What's the matter with him that he can't attract women rather than girls.

up for anything

mickydoomsux wrote: »

I remember when i was in my mid to late teens and even into my early twenties (27 now) that every even half decent looking 14-17 girl was having the arse rode off her by some 21+ guy as long as he had a car.

Shows how childish they are and not just the girls.

Doesn't make it right but i think people are much more excepting of this kind of thing once it actually happens.

Not all people. I, for one, would stop it dead in it's tracks once I found out. My parents would have locked up me up if they found out I played that game.

I can't believe a mind set where they would think, ah sure what can we do now it's happened, might as well let them get on with it! :eek:

HavingCrack

Xinkai wrote: »

I think your all a bunch of hypocrites tbh. Even back when all you were 20, I'm sure you wish there was that one girl or boy that you couldhave been with. As for the parents in here, put yourself in the 16 year olds shoes, if you wanted that 20 year old and YOUR parents said no, and you know there's a genuine feeling for that 20 year old, imagine how much HATE you'd feel for your parents!

Ok, I firmly believe that yes, there is an age limit on a 20 year old dating a teenager, but personally I think that a 16 year old is perfect age. I'm 21 as I said in a previous post, and I was with a 17 year old. Her mum wasn't happy at first, but once I sat down with her mum and had a chat with her, she gave her blessing. Now if OP is a 20 year old feckin drug lord who smokes 40 a day and drinks cans, a scumbag basically, THEN I could see why the 16 year old would be told lol.

Bus as it stands, I say that a 20 year old and a 16 year old is ok age wise, but leave it to OP & OP's girlfriend to learn their own mistakes, and let OP decide if she's 'Too young'

Well talk about tarring everyone with the same brush. I'm 20 myself and I can safely say the thought of going out with a girl still in school and the same age of my brother is not attractive whatsoever. I just see them as children to be honest.

While you may be attracted to school aged girls not everyone has to follow your views.

Micky Dolenz

Xinkai wrote: »

I think your all a bunch of hypocrites tbh. '

When I was 20, it was all mad drinking and partying. The thoughts of bringing a 16 year old in to that environment is crazy esp when there were plenty young woman doing the same thing I was into.

Being 16 and 20 are worlds apart so the whole , it's only a few years, argument does not hold water for me.

mickydoomsux

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Disturbing.

Pathetic that a 25 year old man can't interact with women close to his own age so goes after school girls. Weird.

I think it has to do with the fact that it's so easy. Easy to get them, easy to keep them, easy to get rid of them if you want - there's no long-term commitment if you don't want it because she's only 16 after all so she's hardly looking to settle down and most of all it'd be easy to get them to do whatever you want because, obviously, as the older one in the couple you'd be the one in control just by default.

Still deeply creepy.

AnonoBoy

I think we've let this thread get away from the real important topic....

Brummytom's brilliant response: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=68645792&postcount=2

fonecrusher1

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I think we've let this thread get away from the real important topic....

Brummytom's brilliant response: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=68645792&postcount=2

It was very good alright.

Poor OP was probably thinking hey maybe its fairly normal?.....then he scrolls to the bottom of the post.:D

up for anything

Xinkai wrote: »

put yourself in the 16 year olds shoes, if you wanted that 20 year old and YOUR parents said no, and you know there's a genuine feeling for that 20 year old, imagine how much HATE you'd feel for your parents!

You are the type of 21 year old that I feel is so immature that you have no business with a young girl because you haven't a clue about life yourself let alone the effect you might have on someone else's. Parents have to refuse their children certain things regularly, usually in order to protect them and guide them or teach them the value of certain things. Hate directed at me from my teenager usually gives me a warm glow because it generally means I have made the right decision to refuse her something that she thinks she really, really, really wants or wants to do.

and let OP decide if she's 'Too young'

He will decide for himself but this quote is taken directly from his original post so he has been looking for our opinions which is what we have given him.
Would you prefer us not to reply to his post?

So is she too young for me? I dont usually go after girls at that age btw, as my last girlfriend was 19. Please let me know what you think.

starbelgrade

Xinkai wrote: »

Bus as it stands, I say that a 20 year old and a 16 year old is ok age wise, but leave it to OP & OP's girlfriend to learn their own mistakes, and let OP decide if she's 'Too young'

If he fucks her, it'll be a judge deciding if she's too young.

desertcircus

Short answer: she's below the age of consent. That means that if you get carried away you could end up committing a criminal offence.

Long answer: there's a huge difference between being sixteen and being twenty. A sixteen-year-old is not an adult, no matter how people try to pretend they are. At that age, a person isn't fully mature; they'll have been physiologically adult for four or five years at the most (and a hormonal, confused mess for pretty much all of that time). A twenty-year-old has been dealing with their sex drive for twice as long. I wasn't mature enough at sixteen to have a relationship with a twenty-year-old woman, and I doubt I'd have been able to look past the weirdness if I thought about going out with a sixteen-year-old. That age gap is a quarter of her life; probably nearly half of her life since puberty started.

marzic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9o1DlaQw8Rc

... no question where the tall bird stands on this issue!

Terry

EverEvolving wrote: »

Anyone ever go to Engerland for a get rid of baby operation?

Yeah. I did. Turns out that I was just a fat bastard.

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I think we've let this thread get away from the real important topic....

Brummytom's brilliant response: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=68645792&postcount=2

It was funny, but when you take into account that he's in a place where the OP's activities are legal, then it's just, well, I'm drunk and stuff.

OP, any sort of sexual activity is illegal.
That includes finger play and touching her titties (speaking of which, I demand pics as soon as she's of age). Even her giving you a hand job is against the law.

What you need to take into account is that a 16 year old going out with a 20 year is most likely troubled. Not in all cases, but most. There's an extremely high possibility that she will start to do insane things.

I've had friends in the same situation. It never ends well.

round tower huntsman

brummytom wrote: »

Of course she's not, if you love each other.






















Nah I'm kidding, you're a pervert

classic.

thebullkf

up for anything wrote: »

You are the type of 21 year old that I feel is so immature that you have no business with a young girl because you haven't a clue about life yourself let alone the effect you might have on someone else's.

presume much??

Parents have to refuse their children certain things regularly, usually in order to protect them and guide them or teach them the value of certain things.

+1

Hate directed at me from my teenager usually gives me a warm glow because it generally means I have made the right decision to refuse her something that she thinks she really, really, really wants or wants to do.

i never hated my parents.. ever.yet you get pleasure in your daughters hate...... who's the immature one?

other than legally-imo there's fuck all difference between 16/17.
either body wise or mentally.
if the legal age was 16 we wouldn't be having this discussion...

well maybe we would if it were a 19yo and a 15 yo.

i think the bigger issue of the sexualisation of childrenby society in general is the real tragedy.

ie bra's/thongs for 6yo girls. make up and lipstick....don't get me started.
i have numerous examples.

---

As an aside,
i went out with 18yo girls when i was 14/15 ( i used to get served @ 14 in off licences) i was a strapping lad, 5'11 14 stone,with a moustache playing minor, intermediate/junior club hurling.
so i think each case on its merits.