How to ignore all this debs stress???

karaokeman

Ok, semi-regular poster here on boards.
I'm in 6th year and wondering how I can get all this debs stress off my head so I can focus on my LC.
I know it is still early to think about dates but there is only one girl I really want to ask. Reason, I've been single for a long time now, so would be very difficult now for me to start dating within the next few months and have a girlfriend to ask.
Other than being the only girl that is a really close friend, and hangs out at my gaff every now and then, there are many reasons I only want to ask her;
1. She has been such a good mate to me, I want to repay her by being the first to bring her to a debs.
2. I don't want to ask some randomer, who wouldn't know the lads in my year.
3. I would rather ask her than find a girlfriend this year because with the exams and all, I can't really start dating now.
I'm thinking I will wait till late December/January sometime to ask when my christmas exams are over and before I'm back in school. I thought that if I have this off my head before the 2011 term, I will be able to get my head down in my books for the mocks.

Any advice, greatly appreciated.

**Timbuk2**

I say go for it! She'll probably be really happy to go.

About the no dating thing - the majority of people that go to debs, or at least at my debs anyway, go with someone who is a friend but not a date. It's not a big deal and it happens all the time!

If you leave it too late somebody else might ask her, though! It's up to you!

karaokeman

Thanks for the reply.

As my previous post suggests it is not a matter of whether she will say yes or not, its when is the right time to ask. Don't want to leave it too early either because I don't want to freak her out. I will probably have asked before Febuary, if not I would be worried.

Ciaramb92

If the grad isn't till next summer (August or so) I'd wait until March/April to ask. You sound like you are quite shy so maybe spend the time from now till March on working on your confidence around the lucky lady!

soup1

oh god its probably the biggest anti-climatic night of my life. . . any girl will go with u, honestly nobody cares as long as they get a ticket! just ask now and get it out of your head now if its really bothering you good luck

DavidKelly1

Seriously?. Ok i'm not trying to be mean or anything but you should have a lot more on your mind than your debs. They're so overrated a dinner and a night out.. That's all it is. If it's stopping your ability to study effectively and lowering your concentration ask the girl now. It's not that big of a deal. If worst comes to works all she can say is No.

You will be kicking yourself this time next year if you don't get your dream course because you have your head bothered a bout a fecking dinner.. It really is your choice you can be having the time of your life next year in college or you can be back repeating in your school..

Teutorix

The earlier you ask the less chance some other lad will snap her away, do it OP and propose after the diner if you are so inclined :pac:

karaokeman

Hi again guys/gals, thanks for the other replies:cool:.
I know it does seem like a big deal but this is really something that hits my mind in my spare time. I try (my best) not to think about it 24/7. But I'm inviting the girl and a few other mates to my house on friday. She hasn't been to my house since January so I think that has reduced my confidence a bit. I will see because having her over then will probably boost my courage.
I'd say its unlikely she would be asked by someone else this early but after friday I will probably do it next time I see her alone.
Keep em' coming:).

Gordon Gecko

When my mind wanders to trivial matters in my spare time a cursory glance at the points requirements for proper university courses usually gets my mind back to business!

Tactically though don't burn your bridges too soon: you never know what your life is going to be like in 6 months-1 year's time. You might meet Ms. Right after asking the girl and find yourself in a right pickle. I'd just get my head into the books and make a move far far closer to the debs.

workingstudent

having been to debs for the past 2 years i dont tink it really matters who you 'go with' as long as your friends are there..by the end of the night most people are got off with other peoples partners anyway!

JayEnnis

I've been to 6 debs, trust me unless your in some sort of relationship with your date then they're basically just there for the photo's.

**Timbuk2**

The above comment is not always true, I went with one of my good friends (not my date) and we had an excellent night - we didn't just separate after the photos!

Our debs was in August, but I think we had decided to go together in January. This was earlier than most though - I know people who asked other people a week and a half before the debs :S

JayEnnis

**Timbuk2** wrote: »

The above comment is not always true, I went with one of my good friends (not my date) and we had an excellent night - we didn't just separate after the photos!

Our debs was in August, but I think we had decided to go together in January. This was earlier than most though - I know people who asked other people a week and a half before the debs :S

Well I didn't meant it like that, What I meant was that unless you have some sort of intimate relationship with them the chances are the debs wont have any special meaning, it will be just another night out with your friends.

Aoifey!

If I was you I'd do a sort of "If I'm single by my Debs, wanna go with me?" sort of thing, just in case someone else comes into the picture in the next while. If she's a good friend she'll be more than happy with that.

**Timbuk2**

Aoifey! wrote: »

If I was you I'd do a sort of "If I'm single by my Debs, wanna go with me?" sort of thing, just in case someone else comes into the picture in the next while. If she's a good friend she'll be more than happy with that.

I don't think that's the best system, to be fair.

You are a girl so you would know more than I would, but a lot of girls in my year bought their dresses well in advance, including my date. If the person started going out with somebody, and thus it aspired that that person would go with their girlfriend/boyfriend, it's a bit unfair to the person.

For the reference, my date asked me (which is unusual really, but it was both our debs). She started going out with someone (who happened to be friends with both of us) afterwards, but she said she was still going with me (she was one of my best friends!). They later broke up anyway, but that's irrelevant - the point is, if she had asked me to go with him instead, I wouldn't have been that happy!

Diabhal Beag

Whatever you do don't get a friend to ask for you. It looks really immature and makes you look bad.

If you don't have a girlfriend then don't make any presumptions. Just ask straight out if the person wants to go to the Debs with ya. I would lay groundwork before though. If you don't talk much to that person start talking more.

Best of luck to ya. By the time your Debs is over you won't know why you worried so much.

pajero12

Diabhal Beag wrote: »

Whatever you do don't get a friend to ask for you. It looks really immature and makes you look bad.

If you don't have a girlfriend then don't make any presumptions. Just ask straight out if the person wants to go to the Debs with ya. I would lay groundwork before though. If you don't talk much to that person start talking more.

Best of luck to ya. By the time your Debs is over you won't know why you worried so much.

Very true..but your probably grown out of that unless your still at the "will you shift my friend" stage of life!!
Just ask her and get it out of your head!!
You can be sure some people already know who they're bringing!!
One of the guys asked his date 5 minutes after coming out of the first meeting...which was 2 weeks into school

Teutorix

**Timbuk2** wrote: »

I don't think that's the best system, to be fair.

You are a girl so you would know more than I would, but a lot of girls in my year bought their dresses well in advance, including my date. If the person started going out with somebody, and thus it aspired that that person would go with their girlfriend/boyfriend, it's a bit unfair to the person.

For the reference, my date asked me (which is unusual really, but it was both our debs). She started going out with someone (who happened to be friends with both of us) afterwards, but she said she was still going with me (she was one of my best friends!). They later broke up anyway, but that's irrelevant - the point is, if she had asked me to go with him instead, I wouldn't have been that happy!

My friend didnt take her boyfriend to her debs because she promised her friend that she would take him a year previous. Lovely to see such loyalty in a friendship.

karaokeman

Thanks guys.
I plan on doing it the next time I see her alone.
And no I don't agree that any girl you bring to the Debs has to have some sort of a relationship with you for it to be good. As long as you have a good friendship that's all that's needed.

Diabhal Beag

Teutorix wrote: »

My friend didnt take her boyfriend to her debs because she promised her friend that she would take him a year previous. Lovely to see such loyalty in a friendship.

That is nice actually

TimeToShine

It's just a few drinks and a night out with your friends, absolutely nothing to worry about and if you're actually getting stressed out you'd better ask this girl and get it over-with. Believe me it's definitely not worth the 170 quid or so for the tickets other than the sentimental value, you'll have WAY better nights out in college for a fifth of that price.

Ciaramb92

TimeToShine wrote: »

170 quid or so for the tickets

Jesus Christ..! :O Where is the grad?! My brothers tickets are €50 each (€100 for the pair)

randylonghorn

Ciaramb92 wrote: »

Jesus Christ..! :O Where is the grad?! My brothers tickets are €50 each (€100 for the pair)

In fairness, that's the lowest I've heard of ... though I agree that €170 is pretty crazy!

workingstudent

€170 for a pair to ours last year..85 each and twas a crap night most people hadnt really drunk before and by the end of the night der wer loads gettin sick..it pains me thinkin back on how much i spent on it!!

TimeToShine

Ours were 85 each as well and the prícks threw us out early because we were getting too rowdy -.-

Ciaramb92

TimeToShine wrote: »

Ours were 85 each as well and the prícks threw us out early because we were getting too rowdy -.-

Last years grad from my school were made leave at 1am, no bar extension. When I say leave I mean they had to go to another hotel because they weren't aloud rent rooms in the hotel the grad was on...

Seriously fúcked up if you ask me..!

Luckily we have a hoteliers daughter in our year..! :P

Fad

Your debs is a piss up in a suit, nothing more!

Dont stress over it, it wont lead to anything good.

Ask some one you'd like to go with, some one who you'll have a good laugh with.

SDTimeout

Fad wrote: »

Your debs is a piss up in a suit, nothing more!

Dont stress over it, it wont lead to anything good.

Ask some one you'd like to go with, some one who you'll have a good laugh with.

This

I got rid of the idea of bringing someone who I'd feel obliged to stick by the hip with for the whole night. I'm bringing one of my best friends instead and she won't be annoyed when i go missing for two hours with my mates.

Easier!