To what extent do you pay for food/drinks for your girlfriend?

0verblood

Would ye split the bill when going out for a dinner? (Not talking about valentines or anything, just a dinner of a weekend or whatever) Who buys the drinks when yer out on the town? Who pays for shopping? I pretty much always pay for the dinners at least, and a lot of the drinks if I'm out in the club. Is that gentlemanly or is it a bit too much?

Scuid Mhór

forget chivalry and ask yourself what looks classy instead.

WindSock

Not enough. Dig deeper or you are going in the stingy thread.

Dudess

/awaits the usual "Women are gold-diggers" suspects

KeithM89_old

50/50 until i get drunk, then i just pay for everything til she puts out

J77

Ehm.. Does she offer to pay much or is there a bit of an expectation placed on you?? My GF seems to strive to make it even i.e. if I buy lunch she'll buy dinner and god help me if I argue!

I have a 2 friends in a 1920's relationship where the guy buys everything and its like he owns the girl. Its pretty funny sometimes! He's way to nice a guy to take advantage though!

Lab_Mouse

Dudess wrote: »

/awaits the usual "Women are gold-diggers" suspects

Was gonna say something then remembered it was AH.Thats a good bet actualy

WindSock

Dudess wrote: »

/awaits the usual "Women are gold-diggers" suspects

That's ridiculous. Prostitutes at the very least.

Kimono-Girl

with us its mostly 50/50, although he likes to spoil me occasionally and i always let him

Standman

If you could sort me out with a girlfriend I'd tell ya

tman

It usually ends up as "you get this, I'll get the next one"
I'll occasionally try to treat her, but given the amount I earn that isn't anywhere near often enough!

Wouldn't consider going out with anybody who expected any different tbh (that might make me sound stingy, but I'm really not!)

Snakeblood

0verblood wrote: »

Would ye split the bill when going out for a dinner? (Not talking about valentines or anything, just a dinner of a weekend or whatever) Who buys the drinks when yer out on the town? Who pays for shopping? I pretty much always pay for the dinners at least, and a lot of the drinks if I'm out in the club. Is that gentlemanly or is it a bit too much?

I would pay 60-70% of the time. Still, jokes on her when she finds I rob the money from her purse.

Dudess

Kimono-Girl wrote: »

with us its mostly 50/50, although he likes to spoil me occasionally and i always let him

You're in for it now love...

.E_C_K_S.

I have my suspicions that women are gold diggers.

Vinta81

tman wrote: »

It usually ends up as "you get this, I'll get the next one"
I'll occasionally try to treat her, but given the amount I earn that isn't anywhere near often enough!

Wouldn't consider going out with anybody who expected any different tbh (that might make me sound stingy, but I'm really not!)

This. Any girl who thinks a guy should pay for every meal, drink, date etc...bloody twats! One of my friends does this, she just expects him to pay and it annoys me to no end, her boyfriend is a college student too he can't afford to pay for all your crap. I bought him a couple drinks last time we were out, felt lousy for him

Oh and he might like to spoil you but did you offer in the first place?

InTheTrees

I earn more than she does so I tend to pay more. We try and even it out in proportion.

It comes down to how much you each earn really.

0verblood

Yeah I we should go 50/50 like you guys! Because I pay for so much food and drinks I end up not wanting to buy her surprises & treats etc. cos I've been spending a lot of money on her anyways. We go for dinners a lot, coffees during the day, I even pay for the feckin cinema! Feck.

Anyways what do the girls think of this?

FreudianSlippers

I never split the bill or anything on dates. I just paid.

Now that we've been together ages, it's routine... we just try to split who pays when evenly. I usually pay more often as I have more money, but often I'll try to pay and she says "no you got it last time".
I buy booze more often though, like 75% of the time.

It's not something really that crosses our minds a lot. Sometimes she pays sometimes I pay.

Kimono-Girl

0verblood wrote: »

. cos I've been spending a lot of money on her anyways. We go for dinners a lot, coffees during the day, I even pay for the feckin cinema! Feck.

Anyways what do the girls think of this?

cos she's taking you for a ride? :eek:

WindSock

0verblood wrote: »

Yeah I we should go 50/50 like you guys! Because I pay for so much food and drinks I end up not wanting to buy her surprises & treats etc. cos I've been spending a lot of money on her anyways. We go for dinners a lot, coffees during the day, I even pay for the feckin cinema! Feck.

Anyways what do the girls think of this?

Do you mind paying more than half or not?

jokettle

My boyfriend and I have roughly the same take home pay, so we keep things as even as possible. We treat each other though; I took him for a fancy meal when he passed his exams, he took me for a fancy meal when I passed my driving test. Equality, fair treatment blah blah blah.

Sea Sharp

If they ask me to get them a drink a pint of water is what they get, with ice if they're lucky and if they don't like that they can go and fuck off.
I guess that explains why I'm single. :mad:
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orourkeda

Girlfriend? You are joking aren't you.

Micky Dolenz

Depends, have I slept with her yet or not?

0verblood

WindSock wrote: »

Do you mind paying more than half or not?

I'm paying pretty much 100%, every meal, every cinema ticket, almost every drink, and I do kind of mind! I just don't know how to tell her to start paying her half. Maybe next time the bill comes after a meal I'll just sit around and not say anything... she'll be like "What's up?" and I'll say "You're paying this time ya hewer".

foxinsox

OisinT wrote: »

I never split the bill or anything on dates. I just paid.

Now that we've been together ages, it's routine... we just try to split who pays when evenly. I usually pay more often as I have more money, but often I'll try to pay and she says "no you got it last time".
I buy booze more often though, like 75% of the time.

It's not something really that crosses our minds a lot. Sometimes she pays sometimes I pay.

I would think it's manners for a man to pay for the first few dates...

Especially the first date..
If a man suggested going splits on first date..
It would be the last date..

If I was with someone "officially" it just falls in to place that we take turns paying or whoever has the money..

No big deal..

bonerm

foxinsox wrote: »

I would think it's manners for a man to pay for the first few dates...

Especially the first date..
If a man suggested going splits on first date..
It would be the last date..

If I was with someone "officially" it just falls in to place that we take turns paying or whoever has the money..

No big deal..

Well I hope you sleep with them on the first date then . Ya know, for manners.

YumDeiseMum

0verblood wrote: »

I'm paying pretty much 100%, every meal, every cinema ticket, almost every drink, and I do kind of mind! I just don't know how to tell her to start paying her half. Maybe next time the bill comes after a meal I'll just sit around and not say anything... she'll be like "What's up?" and I'll say "You're paying this time ya hewer".

I suppose the important question is does she ever offer to pay for anything? is it a case of she offering and you saying no, or does she just take it for granted that you're footing the bill all the time.

foxinsox

bonerm wrote: »

Well I hope you sleep with them on the first date then . Ya know, for manners.

Well, it seems that your idea of manners and mine differ vastly..

Dont be at yourself

Girlfriend of almost 6 years has just started working so now it's payback time. 6 years of cinema tickets, drinks, meals and presents coming my way!

...Actually, I've never been one to penny-pinch. If I've had the money, I've paid. I don't like having things bought for me, so I've found it hard to let her buy me dinner!

Misanthrope

50/50

Saermegil

If I treat her to dinner, she insists on buying drinks, or the next dinner. I used to pay for a lot more things in the early stages of the relationship, even if she insisted. Now I just accept that it makes more sense for us to split it roughly 50/50.

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

Logical Fallacy

50/50, unless only one of us has in income, in which case we don't tend to go out much anyways.

Snakeblood

foxinsox wrote: »

Well, it seems that your idea of manners and mine differ vastly..

I don't really get how it's manners for a man to pay for a woman's meal on the first date. That smacks of an unequal relationship and him trying to win your approval.

Micky Dolenz

Snakeblood wrote: »

I don't really get how it's manners for a man to pay for a woman's meal on the first date. That smacks of an unequal relationship and him trying to win your approval.

Well, that's usually the idea, win the woman's approval.

On a first date I would buy dinner but I'd expect my date to buy drinks in turn at the bar.

evercloserunion

Right now my GF is paying for me more often than not because she has a job and I'm broke and unemployed but when I have cash I tend to pay for a lot of things. As some randomer once remarked to me on the bus, "that's the price o' dippin' the wick".

Dudess

0verblood wrote: »

I'm paying pretty much 100%, every meal, every cinema ticket, almost every drink, and I do kind of mind!

That's crazy - you just shouldn't do it... unless she's earning absolutely nothing.

foxinsox wrote: »

I would think it's manners for a man to pay for the first few dates...

Especially the first date..
If a man suggested going splits on first date..
It would be the last date..

I'm not attacking you but that seems to be more a traditional chivalry thing than straightforward manners. Why wouldn't it for instance be manners for the woman to pay for the first few dates? What if she is earning more than him? I do think it's unequitable for that to automatically fall on the man. Like I said though, I'm not attacking you - guys tend to insist on paying on the first few dates anyway, because of this pretty much ingrained notion.

I wonder are there any guys who would feel emasculated by the woman footing the full bill?

CathyMoran

We keep a small amount of our wages for ourselves - the rest goes for the morgage/food/the very odd meal out ect. We are married though.

southsiderosie

0verblood wrote: »

Yeah I we should go 50/50 like you guys! Because I pay for so much food and drinks I end up not wanting to buy her surprises & treats etc. cos I've been spending a lot of money on her anyways. We go for dinners a lot, coffees during the day, I even pay for the feckin cinema! Feck.

Anyways what do the girls think of this?

The last three people I dated were older and made significantly more money than me, and they always insisted on paying for dinner, so I always tried to reciprocate by buying drinks afterwards...but they usually paid anyway. I tried to make up for it by occasionally cooking for them, or figuring out things we could do that were cheap/free (gallery openings = FREE BOOZE!). And the last guy was a history buff, so every now and then I would show up with a new book for him, which he loved.

The one thing I never figured out though was the "do I/do I not" pull out the wallet dance at the end of a meal. I knew they were going to pay, but I didn't want them to think I was taking them for granted...but it all ended up a bit like "date night kabuki theater" (does this even make any sense?).

tl;dr - Guys shouldn't have to pay all the time, but if they insist, girls should try to make up for it in other ways (not THAT, sucio! )...and they should definitely not expect champagne and lobster every Saturday night

foxinsox

Snakeblood wrote: »

I don't really get how it's manners for a man to pay for a woman's meal on the first date. That smacks of an unequal relationship and him trying to win your approval.

I came in here because the OP asked what do the girls think..

In my opinion I think it is good manners and a gentlemanly thing to do for a man to pay for the first date..

I am not 12yrs old and would not be interested in a man that would think I would go splits on a first date.

Isn't that what a first date is about?
Trying to win each others approval?

My post that you quoted was a reply to someone who said..

"Well, I hope you sleep with them on the first date, manners ya know"

I don't know where that statement came from and thought it was quite bad manners to imply that I should sleep with a man because he bought me dinner :rolleyes:

I stated my opinion..

From reading some of the male posters answers it seems that most of them do/did pay for first few dates...

I believe its called chivalry

squeakyduck

A lot of lads in here have to cop on and grow a pair.

I say this as a girl. Stop being whipped pushovers. You'll get walked all over for the rest of your lives. Roughly 50/50 or nothing.

WindSock

0verblood wrote: »

I'm paying pretty much 100%, every meal, every cinema ticket, almost every drink, and I do kind of mind! I just don't know how to tell her to start paying her half. Maybe next time the bill comes after a meal I'll just sit around and not say anything... she'll be like "What's up?" and I'll say "You're paying this time ya hewer".

Why are you paying for everything if you are not happy about it. Do you think she would flea, otherwise? Next time she suggests you go out somewhere tell her you are low on cash, you are funding a lifestyle she has come to expect because you keep doing it with no hint that it bothers you a little. / serious answer...

.... kick her in the gee to imobilise her and run off when the bill comes.

Pyr0

I don't have a gf to spend money on..



http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_mI8BYlP2-gY/TJLliVl3wmI/AAAAAAAAEiQ/HhoSCeBvFko/s1600/forever+alone+face.png

bonerm

WindSock wrote: »

Why are you paying for everything if you are not happy about it. Do you think she would flea, otherwise? Next time she suggests you go out somewhere tell her you are low on cash, you are funding a lifestyle she has come to expect because you keep doing it with no hint that it bothers you a little. / serious answer...

.... kick her in the gee to imobilise her and run off when the bill comes.

While I applaud the sentiment, we're never gonna reach a consensus in the battle of the sexes by going round kicking women in the gee.

Sitec

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Depends, have I slept with her yet or not?

true that.

foxinsox

Dudess wrote: »

I'm not attacking you but that seems to be more a traditional chivalry thing than straightforward manners. Why wouldn't it for instance be manners for the woman to pay for the first few dates? What if she is earning more than him? I do think it's unequitable for that to automatically fall on the man. Like I said though, I'm not attacking you - guys tend to insist on paying on the first few dates anyway, because of this pretty much ingrained notion.

I wonder are there any guys who would feel emasculated by the woman footing the full bill?

Yeah I know what you mean...

manners/chivalry I think they tend to overlap..

I would defnitely pay my way, I have on many occasions...

I just think it's not a good sign to have to do it on the first date...

I think it's old fashioned romance/manners/chivalry and that's what I want on a first date...


I think some guys can/might/tend to feel a bit put out if a woman pays the bill..

Dudess

bonerm wrote: »

While I applaud the sentiment, we're never gonna reach a consensus in the battle of the sexes by going round kicking women in the gee.

Develop an expertise in doing other stuff to her gee and you might just find there will be rewards...

saywhatyousee

i tend to always pay that way your guarnteed lovin:)

lamai

I pay her and she sucks me off. The ride is more

hondasam

foxinsox wrote: »

Well, it seems that your idea of manners and mine differ vastly..

if he was hot you would admit it