To what extent do you pay for food/drinks for your girlfriend?

Dudess

foxinsox wrote: »

I think some guys can/might/tend to feel a bit put out if a woman pays the bill..

In this context, I think you should revise your use of the the term "put out". :pac:

foxinsox

Dudess wrote: »

In this context, I think you should revise your use of the the term "put out". :pac:

I think I'll just get my coat...

It's one of those days...

WindSock

foxinsox wrote: »

I would think it's manners for a man to pay for the first few dates...

Especially the first date..
If a man suggested going splits on first date..
It would be the last date..

If I was with someone "officially" it just falls in to place that we take turns paying or whoever has the money..

No big deal..

foxinsox wrote: »

Well, it seems that your idea of manners and mine differ vastly..

foxinsox wrote: »

I came in here because the OP asked what do the girls think..

In my opinion I think it is good manners and a gentlemanly thing to do for a man to pay for the first date..

I am not 12yrs old and would not be interested in a man that would think I would go splits on a first date.

Isn't that what a first date is about?
Trying to win each others approval?

My post that you quoted was a reply to someone who said..

"Well, I hope you sleep with them on the first date, manners ya know"

I don't know where that statement came from and thought it was quite bad manners to imply that I should sleep with a man because he bought me dinner :rolleyes:

I stated my opinion..

From reading some of the male posters answers it seems that most of them do/did pay for first few dates...

I believe its called chivalry

foxinsox wrote: »

Yeah I know what you mean...

manners/chivalry I think they tend to overlap..

I would defnitely pay my way, I have on many occasions...

I just think it's not a good sign to have to do it on the first date...

I think it's old fashioned romance/manners/chivalry and that's what I want on a first date...


I think some guys can/might/tend to feel a bit put out if a woman pays the bill..

Your Life of Brian quote in your sig is slightly off.

hondasam

time for a group hug I think and its free

Seaneh

Dated a girl whos income was roughly 3.5 times mine for a while a while back. I made good money but she made a mint (worked for it too). She would refuse to let me pay for things, even if I was trying to treat her. At times it bothered me, which I know is my problem not hers. but what really annoyed me was, she'd pay for trips away for the two of us and not tell me until the last minute and the refuse to accept any of the money back. Felt like a kept man at times.
And like I said, I made GOOD money. She was just stupidly well paid.

Back to the OP's question. Trouble in paradise with your Kenyan girlfriend's traditional values?

az2wp0sye65487

Can I assume that most people in here are talking about their bf/gf as someone they're seeing causally? - or are you talking about someone you've been going out with for a long time, or living together etc.

If you're talking about a casual relationship then fair enough about splitting costs...

If you're talking about being in a long term relationship or living with someone etc. then what's the difference with which person puts their hand in their pocket?

With myself and the O/H we don't have much of an emphasis on money. We put aside a set amount each month to cover mortgage, bills etc. and the rest is for both of us, regardless of what account it sits in...

To anyone who's in a long term relationship and is constantly thinking about money in the "my money + his/her money" sense.... I'd say you're focussing on the wrong things in life.

Dudess

hondasam wrote: »

time for a group hug I think and its free

Til you drop the hand - I'm on to you! :mad:

AnnyHallsal

Say one person is unemployed and one person earns 40,000? Is it ok if the one earning pays for (almost) everything? Four years together, live apart, no complaints from either.

Feelin' a bit guilty

Logical Fallacy

Snakeblood wrote: »

I don't really get how it's manners for a man to pay for a woman's meal on the first date. That smacks of an unequal relationship and him trying to win your approval.

Call me old fashioned, but i would never buy a girl dinner unless we have had sex three or four times.

starbelgrade

I've no idea. I rarely carry cash & I don't have any cards.

KeithM89_old

starbelgrade wrote: »

I've no idea. I rarely carry cash & I don't have any cards.

Remind me never to mug you

hondasam

Dudess wrote: »

Til you drop the hand - I'm on to you! :mad:

never on a first date

foxinsox

KeithM89 wrote: »

Remind me never to mug you

Remind me to NEVER EVER post in AH after having a **** bad day at work..

Remind me never to voice my opinion..

Remind me ... meh........

psycho-hope

0verblood wrote: »

Yeah I we should go 50/50 like you guys! Because I pay for so much food and drinks I end up not wanting to buy her surprises & treats etc. cos I've been spending a lot of money on her anyways. We go for dinners a lot, coffees during the day, I even pay for the feckin cinema! Feck.

Anyways what do the girls think of this?

we normally go 50/50 or if we go to the cinema one of us buys the tickets the other buys the snacks. He does treat me every now and again but i feel kinda guilty I have a job and he dosent:(

VinnyTGM

I'm too stingy to have a girlfriend.

KeithM89_old

foxinsox wrote: »

Remind me to NEVER EVER post in AH after having a **** bad day at work..

Remind me never to voice my opinion..

Remind me ... meh........

Sucks to be you today -or should i say Sox to be you....



/il leave now

Micky Dolenz

foxinsox wrote: »

Remind me to NEVER EVER post in AH after having a **** bad day at work..

Remind me never to voice my opinion..

Remind me ... meh........

I was meant to remind you about something, damn, I've forgotten.

Snakeblood

foxinsox wrote: »

I came in here because the OP asked what do the girls think..

In my opinion I think it is good manners and a gentlemanly thing to do for a man to pay for the first date..

I am not 12yrs old and would not be interested in a man that would think I would go splits on a first date.

Isn't that what a first date is about?
Trying to win each others approval?

My post that you quoted was a reply to someone who said..

"Well, I hope you sleep with them on the first date, manners ya know"

I don't know where that statement came from and thought it was quite bad manners to imply that I should sleep with a man because he bought me dinner :rolleyes:

I stated my opinion..

From reading some of the male posters answers it seems that most of them do/did pay for first few dates...

I believe its called chivalry

Yeah, but how are you trying to win his approval? He's paying for the meal. He's trying to be charming, dressing well, etc. If it's an equal relationship, why is he doing more than you are?

I'm not insulting you, I'm giving my opinion on your opinion.

I think it's worthy of discussion why, since women now have jobs and earn closer to what men earn, some women think that not being treated as equal is an essential part of being a prospective mate.

hondasam

foxinsox wrote: »

Remind me to NEVER EVER post in AH after having a **** bad day at work..

Remind me never to voice my opinion..

Remind me ... meh........

Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories on how they died.

Woman #1: I froze to death.

Woman #2: How horrible!

Woman #1: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

Woman #2: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

Woman #1: So what happened?

Woman #2: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died!

Woman #1: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer. We'd both still be alive.

just to cheer yu up

foxinsox

Snakeblood wrote: »

Yeah, but how are you trying to win his approval? He's paying for the meal. He's trying to be charming, dressing well, etc. If it's an equal relationship, why is he doing more than you are?

I'm not insulting you, I'm giving my opinion on your opinion.

I think it's worthy of discussion why, since women now have jobs and earn closer to what men earn, some women think that not being treated as equal is an essential part of being a prospective mate.

IF HE WANTS TO BE WITH ME...

HE PAYS FOR THE FIRST DATE...

I don't care what other women want a man to do...

That is what I want...

Apologies for the shouting but I think I've been slated enough for today...

Snakeblood

foxinsox wrote: »

IF HE WANTS TO BE WITH ME...

HE PAYS FOR THE FIRST DATE...

I don't care what other women want a man to do...

That is what I want...

Apologies for the shouting but I think I've been slated enough for today...

If you don't like the way the conversation is going, or you don't actually have a a good answer, it would be mannerly to be mannerly.

Odysseus

foxinsox wrote: »

IF HE WANTS TO BE WITH ME...

HE PAYS FOR THE FIRST DATE...

I don't care what other women want a man to do...

That is what I want...

Apologies for the shouting but I think I've been slated enough for today...

Like you said your opinion, your entitled to it, I'm not being funny here. However, I don't think your being slated, that seems a tad too much, all I see is a discussion.

Personally, if I ask someout out for a first meal, I take it for granted I'm paying. However, I don't like ladies who expect it, I do like to here an offer to pay. I would never accept, but at the same time it tells me something about the person, each one will be different in some way, but it does say something. As others have said I'm not attacking you, but that's my thought on the matter.

foxinsox

Can someone please pass the bottle of Jack...

It's ok I'll pay for it myself...



Lads, I've had a shiv day and was only posting my opinions..

I'm not up to a big discussion on why I'm wrong, maybe I'm an old fashioned romantic.. but that's how I feel.

To be honest I do feel like I've been slated for voicing my opinion

*puts on coat (paid for by me) and leaves the building*

starbelgrade

foxinsox wrote: »

Can someone please pass the bottle of Jack...

It's ok I'll pay for it myself...



Lads, I've had a shiv day and was only posting my opinions..

I'm not up to a big discussion on why I'm wrong, maybe I'm an old fashioned romantic.. but that's how I feel.

To be honest I do feel like I've been slated for voicing my opinion

*puts on coat (paid for by me) and leaves the building*

I think a man should always pay on the first date too. I'd never expect a woman to pay... call me old fashioned, but that's the way it should be.

lamai

foxinsox wrote: »

Can someone please pass the bottle of Jack...

It's ok I'll pay for it myself...



Lads, I've had a shiv day and was only posting my opinions..

I'm not up to a big discussion on why I'm wrong, maybe I'm an old fashioned romantic.. but that's how I feel.

To be honest I do feel like I've been slated for voicing my opinion

*puts on coat (paid for by me) and leaves the building*

You off for the free food?

Odysseus

foxinsox wrote: »

Can someone please pass the bottle of Jack...

It's ok I'll pay for it myself...



Lads, I've had a shiv day and was only posting my opinions..

I'm not up to a big discussion on why I'm wrong, maybe I'm an old fashioned romantic.. but that's how I feel.

To be honest I do feel like I've been slated for voicing my opinion

*puts on coat (paid for by me) and leaves the building*

Fair enough you had a sh!t day. I could be wrong but I think the thing that got people responding to your post was that you stated it would be the last one, if you the man didn't pay.

Anyway, not expecting you to reply/defend your opinion; so to depersonalise it, if a woman I was taking out for a date held such an opinion, she would have to had some other very strong points of attraction in order for me to consider a second date.

I earn a relatively decent wage so I don't mind paying; it's not really about the money. I used the words "taking out" above, so the emphasis is on me in that statement. Whilst I would not believe that a woman would be just after my cash, by expecting me to pay; it would make me think twice.

It's not really about the cash, some people earn more than others; but being willing to part with some cash suggests that any relationship would be more two sided.

Johnnio13

60/40
But I know a lad who does the shopping in house. Makes his wifes lunch and controls what she eats.
He said he wouldn't like her getting fat. She gets salads everyday, no beer, wine only and wine only at the weekend....and he buys 100% of the food and drink.
She goes daft in the cookie jar when she is in anyones house.

Tigger

foxinsox wrote: »

I came in here because the OP asked what do the girls think..

In my opinion I think it is good manners and a gentlemanly thing to do for a man to pay for the first date..

I am not 12yrs old and would not be interested in a man that would think I would go splits on a first date.

Isn't that what a first date is about?
Trying to win each others approval?

My post that you quoted was a reply to someone who said..

"Well, I hope you sleep with them on the first date, manners ya know"

I don't know where that statement came from and thought it was quite bad manners to imply that I should sleep with a man because he bought me dinner :rolleyes:

I stated my opinion..

From reading some of the male posters answers it seems that most of them do/did pay for first few dates...

I believe its called chivalry

if a guy asks a girl out to dinner he pays
if two people decide to go they bothy pay
if a girl asks guy she pays

most first dates are a guy asking a girl so he pays

lily lou

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

Call me old fashioned, but i would never buy a girl dinner unless we have had sex three or four times.

Well call me old fashioned, but I would never have sex unless we have had dinner three or four times;);)

Micky Dolenz

Someone made a good point there earlier, whoever asks who out should pay.It's mostly the man.

If I asked a lady to go for dinner I would most certainly pay for it. However, if they asked me, I would still insist.

starbelgrade

lily lou wrote: »

Well call me old fashioned, but I would never have sex unless we have had dinner three or four times;);)

If I take you for breakfast, lunch, the dinner will you ride me in the evening?

hondasam

Johnnio13 wrote: »

60/40
But I know a lad who does the shopping in house. Makes his wifes lunch and controls what she eats.
He said he wouldn't like her getting fat. She gets salads everyday, no beer, wine only and wine only at the weekend....and he buys 100% of the food and drink.
She goes daft in the cookie jar when she is in anyones house.

does your wife only eat salad!!

AAAAAAAHHH

WALSHY16291 wrote: »

I have my suspicions that women are gold diggers.

Well, they ain't getting with no broke gentlemen.

hondasam

starbelgrade wrote: »

If I take you for breakfast, lunch, the dinner will you ride me in the evening?

Im a morning person myself

foxinsox

Odysseus wrote: »

Fair enough you had a sh!t day. I could be wrong but I think the thing that got people responding to your post was that you stated it would be the last one, if you the man didn't pay.

Anyway, not expecting you to reply/defend your opinion; so to depersonalise it, if a woman I was taking out for a date held such an opinion, she would have to had some other very strong points of attraction in order for me to consider a second date.

I earn a relatively decent wage so I don't mind paying; it's not really about the money. I used the words "taking out" above, so the emphasis is on me in that statement. Whilst I would not believe that a woman would be just after my cash, by expecting me to pay; it would make me think twice.

It's not really about the cash, some people earn more than others; but being willing to part with some cash suggests that any relationship would be more two sided.

I've no problem answering your post.. I'm talking only about first date, or first few..

If I was on a first date and a man didn't offer to pay, I would find it strange.. I would politely pay all or half of the bill and probably wouldn't see him again..

If a guy asks me out for dinner, I would expect him to pay.

It's not about the cash as you said. I just think of it as chivalry, and maybe old fashioned, I think it's what happens most of the time anyway.

I wouldn't say to a man before/during the date " I hope you are paying or you won't see me again"

It's the same as if you thought a woman was just after you for your money... it would make you think twice..

If a man did not pay for the first date it would make me think twice..

I have often paid all/half/none for a date. I have no problem going splits or even paying all the bill.

I just don't think that it is what I want to have to do on a first date.

It's not about the money at all...

FreudianSlippers

AAAAAAAHHH wrote: »

Well, they ain't getting with no broke gentlemen.

http://tinyurl.com/2ujgrcr

Logical Fallacy

starbelgrade wrote: »

I think a man should always pay on the first date too. I'd never expect a woman to pay... call me old fashioned, but that's the way it should be.

What if she asked you out?

starbelgrade

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

What if she asked you out?

Then you're guaranteed the ride, so it'd be only polite to pay for dinner.

Logical Fallacy

starbelgrade wrote: »

Then you're guaranteed the ride, so it'd be only polite to pay for dinner.

Unless she is just scheming on your for dinner as it gets around your wallet puts out on the first date.

starbelgrade

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

Unless she is just scheming on your for dinner as it gets around your wallet puts out on the first date.

In my many years of taking women out for dinner, that never happened. I only found that there were two types of women - ones who were willing to have sex with me & ones who I had to pester to have sex with me until they gave in.

Odysseus

foxinsox wrote: »

I've no problem answering your post.. I'm talking only about first date, or first few..

If I was on a first date and a man didn't offer to pay, I would find it strange.. I would politely pay all or half of the bill and probably wouldn't see him again..

If a guy asks me out for dinner, I would expect him to pay.

It's not about the cash as you said. I just think of it as chivalry, and maybe old fashioned, I think it's what happens most of the time anyway.

I wouldn't say to a man before/during the date " I hope you are paying or you won't see me again"

It's the same as if you thought a woman was just after you for your money... it would make you think twice..

If a man did not pay for the first date it would make me think twice..

I have often paid all/half/none for a date. I have no problem going splits or even paying all the bill.

I just don't think that it is what I want to have to do on a first date.

It's not about the money at all...

See the viewpoints are not that different, as you said if you were "asked" so I would see it as being somewhat implied. I don't think based upon one experience though I would bin the person, just on that point though.

That would the difference on opinions though, chivalry personally I would not see as old fashioned. We all fall into some type of gender role.

AAAAAAAHHH

foxinsox wrote: »

I came in here because the OP asked what do the girls think..

In my opinion I think it is good manners and a gentlemanly thing to do for a man to pay for the first date..

I am not 12yrs old and would not be interested in a man that would think I would go splits on a first date.

Isn't that what a first date is about?
Trying to win each others approval?

My post that you quoted was a reply to someone who said..

"Well, I hope you sleep with them on the first date, manners ya know"

I don't know where that statement came from and thought it was quite bad manners to imply that I should sleep with a man because he bought me dinner :rolleyes:

I stated my opinion..

From reading some of the male posters answers it seems that most of them do/did pay for first few dates...

I believe its called chivalry

Fair enough but in chivalrous times women would spend all of their time cooking and making babies so eh, back in the kitchen/bedroom.

foxinsox

AAAAAAAHHH wrote: »

Fair enough but in chivalrous times women would spend all of their time cooking and making babies so eh, back in the kitchen/bedroom.

Going there right now, Boss ..

Do you want to make babies or a sangwich first?

AAAAAAAHHH

foxinsox wrote: »

Going there right now, Boss ..

Do you want to make babies or a sangwich first?

http://www.phuckpolitics.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/eating_baby_sandwich.jpg

hondasam

what age group are we talking about here, who goes on dates any more ? from speaking to people I work with the just meet in the pub. do you have to be in a certain age group to date a guy / girl.

Noodleworm

We nearly always half it, Plenty of times one of us treats the other, buys food if the others short on cash but its pretty equal.
At the moment I think he's in more debt to me.

Susie_Q

I've never been on a first date where the bloke paid for everything. I'd be mortified not to contribute. Why should I get a free dinner and wine simply by virtue of my gender?

I think I'd feel uncomfortable if the bloke had paid the full sum - like I owed him something. I also think it's ridiculously old-fashioned to expect a fella to pay for everything. I wouldn't like to partake in that sexist rigmarole at all.

I'm in a long-term relationship and since our first date we've always split everything pretty evenly. When I have more money I spend more on us and vice versa.

Teutorix

Women spent years fighting for equality, with equal rights comes equal responsibility.
That said, dont be a stingy fúcker and demand to go halves on everything :pac:

southsiderosie

hondasam wrote: »

what age group are we talking about here, who goes on dates any more ? from speaking to people I work with the just meet in the pub. do you have to be in a certain age group to date a guy / girl.

Oh god, this post is everything that is weird to me about Irish dating male-female relationships.

Greyfox

Me and my gf have went close enough to 50/50 from day one, for me if a women isn't willing to pay roughly 45% of time then she can f**k off as I know the vast majority of women are happy to split the cost...in any case I'd never be able to afford a girlfriend who did'nt pay her way sometimes