To what extent do you pay for food/drinks for your girlfriend?

southsiderosie

Susie_Q wrote: »

I've never been on a first date where the bloke paid for everything. I'd be mortified not to contribute. Why should I get a free dinner and wine simply by virtue of my gender?

I think I'd feel uncomfortable if the bloke had paid the full sum - like I owed him something. I also think it's ridiculously old-fashioned to expect a fella to pay for everything. I wouldn't like to partake in that sexist rigmarole at all.

I'm in a long-term relationship and since our first date we've always split everything pretty evenly. When I have more money I spend more on us and vice versa.

It's one thing to expect it, but if someone offers, I don't think it's weird or sexist or I owe them anything. Why would you be "mortified" or think you owed them something? If you enjoyed yourself, just smile and say "I'll get it next time" or invite them for drinks, and if you didn't enjoy yourself...well consider it some small consolation for wasting 2 hours of your life.

I think it is more important to be gracious when other people do something nice, rather to get all hung up on gender hoo-hah.

Greyfox

foxinsox wrote: »

I've no problem answering your post.. I'm talking only about first date, or first few..

If I was on a first date and a man didn't offer to pay, I would find it strange.. I would politely pay all or half of the bill and probably wouldn't see him again..

If a guy asks me out for dinner, I would expect him to pay.

I don't mean to be rude, just curious. If the first date is just drinks, he gets the first, would you usually get the second or would you expect him to?

foxinsox

Greyfox wrote: »

I don't mean to be rude, just curious. If the first date is just drinks, he gets the first, would you usually get the second or would you expect him to?

You're not being rude at all...

I'm over my earlier strop

If first date was drinks, I'd get the second one in, I have done this plenty of times, sometimes my offer would be refused but I would always offer to pay.

If first date was dinner and then pub, I would go to bar first and get the drinks in, as the man has usually paid for dinner.

It's not about the money at all, it's the thought that counts..

Logical Fallacy

starbelgrade wrote: »

In my many years of taking women out for dinner, that never happened. I only found that there were two types of women - ones who were willing to have sex with me & ones who I had to pester to have sex with me until they gave in.

49 no's and yes, means yes.:pac:

CathyMoran

On first dates I admit that I hope that the man would have offered to pay for the most part - those that did not I found were very tight with money (forgetting their wallet a lot when it came to paying half - no one likes to be treated like a cash machine). When my husband and I went on or first date he was a student whereas I was a postgrad and had more than enough to pay for our meal and wanted to (especially as I saw it as a long term thing) but he insisted on paying. He has assisted me when I was on sick pay for a serious illness and is helping me now as I go on unpaid leave to look after our young son. I am more than willing to pay my way when I have the money and would spoil my husband every day if I could but sometimes people get ill etc.

Edit; I should state that I have always offered to pay half/devide the bill according to what I ate. One person I dated took back the tip that I left even tough I had paid for his meal - there are some horrible people out there.

foxinsox

foxinsox wrote: »

I would think it's manners for a man to pay for the first few dates...

Especially the first date..
If a man suggested going splits on first date..
It would be the last date..

If I was with someone "officially" it just falls in to place that we take turns paying or whoever has the money..

No big deal..

Anyway, himself has about double my salary so I've never minded him getting the bulk of things and have been appreciative. I do insist on trying to be fair though, I'd have such a guilty conscience otherwise.
No idea about the first date thing... I think I would expect to pay half or "you get x and I'll get y" kinda thing. Feels unfair otherwise

pickarooney

WindSock wrote: »

Why are you paying for everything if you are not happy about it. Do you think she would flea, otherwise?

She might get ticked off. Not that I'm suggesting she's a leech or anything.


We have one income so the entire €6.50 monthly entertainment budget is leveraged from that.

pickarooney

pickarooney wrote: »

She might get ticked off. Not that I'm suggesting she's a leech or anything.

Now you get the spirit

GO_Bear

KeithM89 wrote: »

50/50 until i get drunk, then i just pay for everything til she puts out

This !

pickarooney

bluewolf wrote: »

Now you get the spirit

Only if you get the pints right after.

J77

Susie_Q wrote: »

I've never been on a first date where the bloke paid for everything. I'd be mortified not to contribute. Why should I get a free dinner and wine simply by virtue of my gender?

I think I'd feel uncomfortable if the bloke had paid the full sum - like I owed him something. I also think it's ridiculously old-fashioned to expect a fella to pay for everything. I wouldn't like to partake in that sexist rigmarole at all.

I'm in a long-term relationship and since our first date we've always split everything pretty evenly. When I have more money I spend more on us and vice versa.

You're a keeper!

I think if a guy asks a girl out he should at least be offering to pay when the bill comes but I don't think the girl should just be sitting there taking it for granted! But the whole cheque dance thing is more about what it says about people rather than who actually has to pay.

Foxinsox, even though alot of guys, including myself, would be happy to pay for the first date they would, and I would, be pretty put off by a girl that's sitting there expecting it.

admiralofthefleet

me and herself keep everything 50/50, have done for over a year now and will continue to do the same

az2wp0sye65487

I remember back in my teens, there was a gang of us heading to the cinema. One of my friends was going out with a girl at the time....

As we were all poor kids at the time who knew no better, we were all paying into the cinema individually.

Next up was the couple - and my mate walks up to the counter to pay, with his 'girlfriend' standing beside him. He goes: "One please" pays for his ticket and walks off, leaving the poor girl standing there! Priceless!

Needless to say it wasn't one of those teenage romances that blossomed into a long-term adult relationship!

oompaloompa

I'm dating a guy who in general pays for dinner and drinks. He's old fashioned and I like that. I would have no issue paying for half, but he teases that I spend my money on shoes, clothes and hair to look good so he can at least buy my dinner!

It balances out though, I make him really nice meals at home, and always have a few beers chilling for him when he comes over. It might not equate to same monetary value, but there is a lot of time put into cooking/shopping etc so I think thats fair enough.

stovelid

It's random, just like friendship.

Sometimes you treat each other; more often or not you go dutch.

Also financial considerations come into play like when somebody isn't working or is broke.

The only thing that is silly is to a) keep score about who has bought what b) always pay for somebody on the basis of their gender.

foxinsox

J77 wrote: »

Foxinsox, even though alot of guys, including myself, would be happy to pay for the first date they would, and I would, be pretty put off by a girl that's sitting there expecting it.

I'm not a girl..

I'm a woman..


I AM TALKING ABOUT FIRST DATE DINNER SCENARIO ONLY..

I tend not to sit there like a tool expecting the man to pay for dinner..
It has always been that they have just paid for it.

I'm probably older than a lot of you, as I already said maybe I'm an old fashioned romantic.

But in my opinion it says a lot about a man, and personally I wouldn't be impressed if they didn't take care of the bill for the first dinner date.



But please read my other posts where I did say I have no problem paying half or all when I'm in a relationship or in the pub after dinner on first date. It's not about the money.

Kimono-Girl

stovelid wrote: »

The only thing that is silly is to a) keep score about who has bought what b) always pay for somebody on the basis of their gender.

+1

i cannot stand people who keep count, it's not about the money and if it is you have a problem!

i couldn't tell you who has spent more me or my other half,nether could he mostly because we don't care, we don't buy the other something to get something back, thats not how we work.

to anyone who says men should pay, i say women fought for equal rights, use them and pay half!

Chivalry is not dead, my oh still opens doors for me, and does the old fashioned chivalrous things.