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Sorry kids. Christmas cancelled due to lack of funds.

  • 26-10-2010 10:22pm
    #1
    Galway K9
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭


    What to tell your kids when you can't afford christmas this year? Have you tried explaining NAMA to a 5 year old?
    Fire away now!


«13

Comments

  • #2
    Lukker-
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,405 ✭✭✭Lukker-


    "we don't love you as much as the other parents"


  • #3
    Turtyturd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,398 ✭✭✭✭Turtyturd


    Sorry kids, but we failed as parents.


  • #4
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    You have cancer & will be dead before Santa comes.


  • #5
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Decent reply: Santa is sharing some of the toys to the children that have no mammy and daddy, no homes and/or are going hungry.

    AH reply: "That bloody Cowen and Harney took them too - the feckers!"


  • #6
    Galway K9
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭Galway K9


    "santa has to pay back anglo!"


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  • #7
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    It's your fault we have no money.


  • #8
    KeithM89_old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,806 ✭✭✭✭KeithM89_old


    "Santas not real, grow the fcuk up" :)


  • #9
    lamai
    Registered Users Posts: 312 ✭✭lamai


    Santa said that your mum's breasts were too small, soooo......


  • #10
    bronte
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,331 ✭✭✭✭bronte


    This year Santa requires the donation of two body parts from each of you.
    You have one week to decide which ones you can live without. :)


  • #11
    foxinsox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,080 ✭✭✭foxinsox


    Satan and Santa had a disagreement...

    and...

    well um...


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  • #12
    Absurdum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,445 ✭✭✭Absurdum


    you're the milkman's son, **** off


  • #13
    KeithM89_old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,806 ✭✭✭✭KeithM89_old


    "Your Jewish now" :)


  • #14
    Sea Sharp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,593 ✭✭✭Sea Sharp


    Santa isn't real, you're adopted and we don't love you. Here's an orange and a pair of socks.

    Santa can't afford presents because he had to let a load of elves go because of the recession.


  • #15
    Latchy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    Just say '' kids , I saw mommy kissing santa claus and it was 'orrible ' .. just ' orrible' so I shot her dead and that fcuker santa to ''


  • #16
    Sanjuro
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,241 ✭✭✭Sanjuro


    Sing...

    I saw Nama killing Santa Clause. Underneath the mistletoe last night.


  • #17
    Scarydoll
    Registered Users Posts: 1,013 ✭✭✭Scarydoll


    Well kids looks like this year we're gonna have an imaginary Christmas.


  • #18
    antodeco
    Registered Users, Subscribers, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,605 ✭✭✭✭antodeco


    I remember staying awake all night waiting for Santa to come. Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left.


  • #19
    Galway K9
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭Galway K9


    Sea Sharp wrote: »
    Santa isn't real, you're adopted and we don't love you. Here's an orange and a pair of socks.

    Santa can't afford presents because he had to let a load of elves go because of the recession.

    this reminds me of The Simpsons where homer in hospital bed for major heart surgery and lisa wispers something to tell bart and was really sweet, then bart whispers to homer and says "Lisa, your adopted and i dont love you!"


  • #20
    dr.bollocko
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,945 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    OK Folks please fire away but without any insults levelled at other forums or posters. Just good old fashioned poverty. There's pride in it.


  • #21
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    I spent all the Christmas money on coke & hookers.

    On the plus side though, your mum is not talking to me, so it should be a nice, peaceful Christmas for a change.


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  • #22
    blue5000
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,714 Mod ✭✭✭✭blue5000


    Christmas is cancelled, joseph owned up....

    If the seat's wet, sit on yer hat, a cool head is better than a wet ar5e.



  • #23
    Galway K9
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭Galway K9


    Knackers robbed santas sleigh so no christmas this year!

    and his pie balds! ahem....i mean reindeer!


  • #24
    TheZohanS
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,582 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    "daddy drinks because of you"


  • #25
    galwayrush
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    The tax sheriff took them all.


  • #26
    squod
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,704 ✭✭✭squod


    After hours converted your Dad to atheism.


  • #27
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    The Polish sent all the presents back home.


  • #28
    Son Of A Vidic
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,370 ✭✭✭✭Son Of A Vidic


    Tough sh1t kids!


  • #29
    Scuid Mhór
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,326 ✭✭✭Scuid Mhór


    feeling cheerful tonight, after hours?


  • #30
    Quandary
    Registered Users Posts: 5,349 ✭✭✭Quandary


    Just show them this...

    http://www.futurama-madhouse.com.ar/claw/santa_grave.jpg


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  • #31
    Sticky_Fingers
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,379 ✭✭✭Sticky_Fingers


    The old man who drives around the neighbourhood in the dirty white van is minding your presents for you. Why not take a ride and help him collect them from his cellar.


  • #32
    Misanthrope
    Closed Accounts Posts: 613 ✭✭✭Misanthrope


    Tell them Santa is in jail because the cops searched his hard drive and found Elf-porn.Looks like he won't be giving out any presents for a while.

    that takes care of this year, but if you really want to kill two birds with one stone,

    Santa was found hanging in his cell by a rope made from his own beard.Happens all the time with elfophiles.Santa is dead kids.And he was only a scumbag anyway.

    Job done. Merry christmas


  • #33
    giles lynchwood
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 935 ✭✭✭giles lynchwood


    Sorry Kids wrong family


  • #34
    Latchy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    It's all Wayne Rooneys fault ...


  • #35
    -Trek-
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,139 ✭✭✭-Trek-


    Santa's DEAD!!!

    get over it!!!


    Does that work?:)


  • #36
    Misanthrope
    Closed Accounts Posts: 613 ✭✭✭Misanthrope


    Santa put all of this years present making money into residuals a couple of years back and it kinda went sour.I'll explain residuals to you when you're older but He won't be able to give any presents this year.


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  • #37
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    In Soviet state, Santa take presents to give to glorious leader!


  • #38
    Saila
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    "we have no money to go to marbella and eat saussages and chips on the beach this year AND do christmas, so guess which one we are forgetting about?"


  • #39
    ItsAWindUp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,325 ✭✭✭ItsAWindUp


    Biggins wrote: »
    In Soviet state, Santa take presents to give to glorious leader!

    Imagines Brian Cowen tearing down Kildare St. on a tricycle......


  • #40
    TheZohanS
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,582 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    Saila wrote: »
    "we have no money to go to marbella and eat saussages and chips on the beach this year AND do christmas, so guess which one we are forgetting about?"


    Maddie?


  • #41
    Saila
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    "santa bought shares in Anglo which was a bad idea, why should you care? because christmass is cancelled this year, he has no money left to pay the polish elves"


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  • #42
    Misanthrope
    Closed Accounts Posts: 613 ✭✭✭Misanthrope


    Biggins wrote: »
    In Soviet state, Santa take presents to give to glorious leader!

    In North Korea, Kim Jong Il dresses up as Santa Claus and visits every household in the nation,who must shower him with Christmas gifts,Eggnog,and Turkey


  • #43
    Doc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,670 ✭✭✭Doc


    "It seams like someone must have been on the naughty list this year…"


  • #44
    Liam Byrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,163 ✭✭✭✭Liam Byrne


    The volcano in Iceland (which is near the North Pole) isn't quite dormant yet.

    And Biffo's gang robbed all of Santa's money to give to his friends who lived in a tent (or one of their multiple houses).


  • #45
    Liam Byrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,163 ✭✭✭✭Liam Byrne


    ItsAWindUp wrote: »
    Imagines Brian Cowen tearing down Kildare St. on a tricycle......

    ....completes the dream sequences with a very welcome juggernaut tearing UP Kildare St........

    Smiles return.


  • #46
    CoalBucket
    Closed Accounts Posts: 971 ✭✭✭CoalBucket


    Santa is stuck in a chilean mine


  • #47
    Saila
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    "oh did I tell you that all those sweets I bought during the year were.... to be added up and subtracted from the total cost of what I was going to spend on presents? - well they are, you have €5.17 left to buy something with :hands kid a poundshop catalogue:

    which I will then pass on to santa"


  • #48
    Misanthrope
    Closed Accounts Posts: 613 ✭✭✭Misanthrope


    Doc wrote: »
    "It seams like someone must have been on the naughty list this year…"


    I love it.Print out a fake naughty list with all sorts of villains in it like Ahmadinijad,and Charlie Manson.But put your kids in it too.

    Say to them "I don't know how this happened ,you've been as good as gold.Maybe there was a mistake.Or maybe you did something I don't know about!!!!!!"


  • #49
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    Hey kids, was in christmas shopping and few were cracking few light hearted gags but infractions were threatened and all presents removed. Sorry.


  • #50
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    CoalBucket wrote: »
    Santa is stuck in a chilean mine

    I asked my missus for a Chilean Miner for Christmas.

    She said, "What's that?"

    I replied, "Go down the end of me shaft & don't come back up till fookin Xmas"!


  • #51
    foxinsox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,080 ✭✭✭foxinsox


    starbelgrade wrote: »
    I asked my missus for a Chilean Miner for Christmas.

    She said, "What's that?"

    I replied, "Go down the end of me shaft & don't come back up till fookin Xmas"!

    :eek:

    The thanks button just doesn't cover that!

    :D


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