otherhalf induced insomnia

shinikins

I've been awake all night because himself can't sleep, and when he can't sleep he goes out of his way to wake me up "accidentally" There's the Sigh, a long drawn out miserable heave of breath that can be heard for miles around. Then there comes the Tossing, jumping around the bed like it's a bouncy castle and managing to rip the duvet off me in the process. When I ask what the hell he's doing I get "oh! Did I wake you?!!"
So he headed to watch tv about an hour ago, and I started to settle and drift off to sleep. And just as I got to that blissful stage where you just know your dropping off, in he comes, crawled over me in the bed,knocking the wind out of me, to get his fone. "The alarm is set on it and I didn't want it to wake you"

So now I need ways to punish him, but my poor brain is fried. Anyone have any ideas for me?

R0ot

Yeah my OH just woke up at 2.30am this morning and let out a blood curdling scream, scared the be-Jesus out of me and then she falls asleep and I'm awake until 4am.

orourkeda

sounds like we all need to do some more banging.

weiland79

R0ot wrote: »

Yeah my OH just woke up at 2.30am this morning and let out a blood curdling scream, scared the be-Jesus out of me and then she falls asleep and I'm awake until 4am.

This happens to me all the time. Middle of the night and the missus will suddenly leap up out of the bed run around the room,sometimes out into the landing, boobies and arms bouncing around,saying "What was that, whos there?".
Frightens the Sh!te out of me gets back into bed where she falls straight back to sleep and I'm left staring at the ceiling for the next two hours.

Soooooo I've taken to fvcking with her. When she does this now I'll shout back at her " Jesus what the fvck is that behind the curtain" or " There is someone at the bedroom door, lock it quick"

So we are then evens stevens, except she never remembers in the morning.:(

Interceptor

shinikins wrote: »

So now I need ways to punish him, but my poor brain is fried. Anyone have any ideas for me?

Go out with your mates, switch off your phone, get outrageously drunk and fall in at half four with a kebab and the remains of your last drink. Bring it to him in the bed as a gift, wake him up by falling across him and demanding he help you undress. Swear undying love, demand your conjugal rights and then fall asleep immediately leaving him to spank his monkey in front of the telly again.

Repeat this every time he pulls his emo sighing, tossing, duvet pulling nonsense on you.

'cptr

bigneacy

Interceptor wrote: »

Go out with your mates, switch off your phone, get outrageously drunk and fall in at half four with a kebab and the remains of your last drink. Bring it to him in the bed as a gift, wake him up by falling across him and demanding he help you undress. Swear undying love, demand your conjugal rights and then fall asleep immediately leaving him to spank his monkey in front of the telly again.

Is this not normally the way a young irish girl ends a night out?

shinikins

Got a few hours kip while he was in work, cleaned the house, washed the dishes, put on and hung out two loads of washing, walked the dog, made the dinner and am in the middle of makinf curtains for the bedroom-he's come home from work "wrecked" He's since informed me that its well for me being able to stay in bed all day!

I NEED REVENGE!!!!!

weiland79 wrote: »

This happens to me all the time. Middle of the night and the missus will suddenly leap up out of the bed run around the room,sometimes out into the landing, boobies and arms bouncing around,saying "What was that, whos there?".
Frightens the Sh!te out of me gets back into bed where she falls straight back to sleep and I'm left staring at the ceiling for the next two hours.

Soooooo I've taken to fvcking with her. When she does this now I'll shout back at her " Jesus what the fvck is that behind the curtain" or " There is someone at the bedroom door, lock it quick"

So we are then evens stevens, except she never remembers in the morning.:(

Oh god i wish i could do that but the fcuker is one of those selective sleepers, who can wake up instantly when he thinks he hears someone at his car, but slepp through an alarm rattling away full blast in the morning!!

Interceptor wrote: »

Go out with your mates, switch off your phone, get outrageously drunk and fall in at half four with a kebab and the remains of your last drink. Bring it to him in the bed as a gift, wake him up by falling across him and demanding he help you undress. Swear undying love, demand your conjugal rights and then fall asleep immediately leaving him to spank his monkey in front of the telly again.

Repeat this every time he pulls his emo sighing, tossing, duvet pulling nonsense on you.

'cptr

Sounds like a good plan, but kebabs are like manna to him, he wouldn't even blink an eye at any of the rest!

Nodin

R0ot wrote: »

Yeah my OH just woke up at 2.30am this morning and let out a blood curdling scream, scared the be-Jesus out of me and then she falls asleep and I'm awake until 4am.

Good jaysus....fair enough if it was a one night stand and she just sobered up, but otherwise....

dr.bollocko

Just buy another house and sleep there. They're cheap now. Sorted.

Copper23

shinikins wrote: »

I've been awake all night because himself can't sleep, and when he can't sleep he goes out of his way to wake me up "accidentally" There's the Sigh, a long drawn out miserable heave of breath that can be heard for miles around. Then there comes the Tossing, jumping around the bed like it's a bouncy castle and managing to rip the duvet off me in the process. When I ask what the hell he's doing I get "oh! Did I wake you?!!"
So he headed to watch tv about an hour ago, and I started to settle and drift off to sleep. And just as I got to that blissful stage where you just know your dropping off, in he comes, crawled over me in the bed,knocking the wind out of me, to get his fone. "The alarm is set on it and I didn't want it to wake you"

So now I need ways to punish him, but my poor brain is fried. Anyone have any ideas for me?

Original Poster gets my thanks for not titling this "OH Induced Insomnia"

Is his willy big enough to put up with the sleepless nights? Because if it isn't......

shinikins

sacramento wrote: »

Is his willy big enough to put up with the sleepless nights? Because if it isn't......

Are you offering your services?....

Victor Meldrew

Have any of you got a spare room? Seriously, if I wake around 2am ish I can be up for the night, especially with work stress. Especially if I'm awake because my snoring wakes her and I'm afraid to nodd off and snore. Her snoring then gets to me and i'm too much the gentleman to wake her.

Throw in an insomniac one year old and you have great craic.

Spare room is how we both stay sane. Use carefully and only in extreme cases..

shinikins

shinikins wrote: »

Are you offering your services?....

Yes, but first.

Give him a blowjob, but don't finish it. That stuff is like man kryptonite.





*p.s. Brush your teeth before coming over to mine.

JONJO THE MISER

Victor Meldrew wrote: »

if I wake around 2am ish I can be up for the night

I don't believe it.....

Kimono-Girl

looks like you may be one of those couples who sleep in two beds, or two duvets, maybe consider sleeping on the other side


for punishment you should steal the blankets off of him

bronte

Does shagging send him off to snoozy-land?
It seems to work on the insomniac I keep as a pet.
Not a blink out of him after a seeing to.

dr.bollocko

bronte wrote: »

Does shagging send him off to snoozy-land?
It seems to work on the insomniac I keep as a pet.
Not a blink out of him after a seeing to.

:eek:

just
:eek:

Kimono-Girl

dr.bollocko wrote: »

:eek:

just
:eek:

what??

she's right!;) give a man a good seeing to and he's always out like a light afterwards!

Kimono-Girl

Kimono-Girl wrote: »

what??

she's right!;) give a man a good seeing to and he's always out like a light afterwards!

Ya see, I think 18,000+ posts equals virgin. Hence the shock.

alwaysadub

sacramento wrote: »

Ya see, I think 18,000+ posts equals virgin. Hence the shock.

I would imagine he's :eek:ing about the pet part of the post!

bronte

dr.bollocko wrote: »

:eek:

just
:eek:

Amazing innit?
You underestimate my desire for sleep.
I would spend the evening with my hand up cow's rear ends if it meant a good night of sleep.

alwaysadub

alwaysadub wrote: »

I would imagine he's :eek:ing about the pet part of the post!

What's wrong with a pet cock?

shinikins

Kimono-Girl wrote: »

looks like you may be one of those couples who sleep in two beds, or two duvets, maybe consider sleeping on the other side


for punishment you should steal the blankets off of him

Aha, please refer to original post-he likes to wrap himself up in the blankets like a cocoon, its impossible to get any back!

bronte wrote: »

Does shagging send him off to snoozy-land?
It seems to work on the insomniac I keep as a pet.
Not a blink out of him after a seeing to.

Nope. And he's too tired to try!

alwaysadub

sacramento wrote: »

What's wrong with a pet cock?

Nothing-i have 7 myself.

bronte

alwaysadub wrote: »

I would imagine he's :eek:ing about the pet part of the post!

I probably shouldn't have followed with this:

bronte wrote: »

I would spend the evening with my hand up cow's rear ends if it meant a good night of sleep.

I can assure you the insomniac I keep as a pet is a human.........most of the time.

Kimono-Girl

shinikins wrote: »

Aha, please refer to original post-he likes to wrap himself up in the blankets like a cocoon, its impossible to get any back!

!

this is why id recommend two duvets or two beds!


i see your problem for the blanket stealing part though....:(


erm....is he ticklish?:pac:

bronte

shinikins wrote: »

Nope. And he's too tired to try!

Jesus, you poor thing.
Maybe load him up with hot chocolate and start talking about make-up and hair products you want to buy?

Latchy

bronte wrote: »

Does shagging send him off to snoozy-land?
It seems to work on the insomniac I keep as a pet.
Not a blink out of him after a seeing to.

Kimono-Girl wrote: »

what??

she's right!;) give a man a good seeing to and he's always out like a light afterwards!

Yes this is so true ,very much so , I can vouch ....

jokettle

My boyfriend is a loud sleeper, and an active one. If he's not snoring he's gasping for air after holding his breath for 7-10 seconds; I'm not sure if it's actually apnea but it scared the life out of me the first time he stayed over. Now it just bugs me. And he moves around a lot. A LOT. Apparently a double bed = sleeping diagonally.

I'm a stupidly light sleeper; my alarm volume is set to 1 (of 15) and it wakes me up immediately. My phone has to be kept on airplane mode for the night because I'll hear any text/call and own't drop off immediately afterwards.

We now have an agreement; he can stay at mine as long as I don't have an early start/I've been drinking and will sleep heavily for the night. As long as we follow this rule, I won't punch him in the larynx* for disturbing my slumber.

*This only happened once, and he had it coming. He has to learn.

Just as he falls asleep shout "WHY DID YOU CALL ME FAT!?"

bigneacy

jokettle wrote: »

My boyfriend is a loud sleeper, and an active one. If he's not snoring he's gasping for air after holding his breath for 7-10 seconds; I'm not sure if it's actually apnea but it scared the life out of me the first time he stayed over. Now it just bugs me. And he moves around a lot. A LOT. Apparently a double bed = sleeping diagonally.

This is exactly like me. My OH says I snore, hold my breath, gasp for air, make weird noises and moan in my sleep. On top of all that I move around a lot and pull the blankets.

We were getting on OK - she was learning to live with it but now she's pregnant and she doesn't appreciate it so much. I've gotten a severe amount of kicks, thumps, sharp pokes in the ribs and eventually orders to go to the spare bed over the last few weeks. :rolleyes:

jokettle

bigneacy wrote: »

I've gotten a severe amount of kicks, thumps, sharp pokes in the ribs and eventually orders to go to the spare bed over the last few weeks. :rolleyes:

I wish I had a spare room. I do have a couch, but it's really comfortable to sleep on. When I kick him out of bed I want him to suffer, dammit!

bigneacy

bigneacy wrote: »

This is exactly like me. My OH says I snore, hold my breath, gasp for air, make weird noises and moan in my sleep. On top of all that I move around a lot and pull the blankets.

We were getting on OK - she was learning to live with it but now she's pregnant and she doesn't appreciate it so much. I've gotten a severe amount of kicks, thumps, sharp pokes in the ribs and eventually orders to go to the spare bed over the last few weeks. :rolleyes:

Is your username based on a nickname you've given her? Because she probably kicked you for that tbh.

bigneacy

sacramento wrote: »

Is your username based on a nickname you've given her? Because she probably kicked you for that tbh.

No, but I asked her if I could call her "fatty fat fatty" when she gets a big baby bump. She was not impressed by my humorous observation... :pac: