Things Kids Say

Doc

There was a woman just in my office with her little boy. She was discussing something important with a colleague of mine that works behind the partition in front of me about a house she is building that needed to get resolved immediately she seemed pretty stressed .

The little boy kept saying “Mom can I just tell you something” and repeating it about a hundred times until finally after about 5 min he says “Mom can I just tell you something and it’s really important”. So the mother gave in and said “What is it?” and the kid says “I stuck my finger up my nose and a big green thing came out!” I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

Kids are great!

Brendog

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHFYJO9v5Xg

Kids say the Darnedest things.....

here.from.day.1

Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Momma! Momma! Momma! Momma! Momma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mom! Mom! Mom! MAM!

Lando Griffin

My little 2 1/2 year old loves playing doctor, and when examining my pregnant OH she exclamed Yuck when looking at her moms belly.
My OH explained that there was a baby in there to which the conversation went like so
Little one "Wait right there, I'll be back in 2 minutes"
OH" Where are you going?"
Little one " To get shovel , dig baby out"

Big Pussy Bonpensiero

What the fugg were you doing at 6 o' clock in the morning in your office!?

Trashbat

Everybody loves it when people bring their children in to the office.........

smokie2008

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNkp4QF3we8

orourkeda

Trashbat wrote: »

Everybody loves it when people bring their children in to the office.........

Yeah, the best excuse in the world to leave

thebigbiffo

'number 10 each way in the 4.20 at tralee'

he's 4 in jan, and i kid you not...and neither am i particularly proud of this gem

Snakeblood

thebigbiffo wrote: »

'number 10 each way in the 4.20 at tralee'

he's 4 in jan, and i kid you not...and neither am i particularly proud of this gem

Why, was it a bad tip?

wicklowgal

I heard this recently on the radio, think the DJ had overheard it.

A little lad of about 5 was in the shop with his mum and she said that she was going to give her change to the homeless man outside. After she had put the money in his cup, the little boy looked at the homeless fella and said to her: 'Can he not just sell his old gold for cash???'

Priceless!

Doc

THFC wrote: »

What the fugg were you doing at 6 o' clock in the morning in your office!?

Its not the same time everywhere in the world.

AnonoBoy

Doc wrote: »

Its not the same time everywhere in the world.

So you're some sort of future man?

Quick, gimme today's racing results!

Ellian

My sister in law was trying to explain sex and where babies came from to the eldest of her two kids - a ten year old. He took a few minutes to process the information and then said "ohh gross, you did that TWICE?"

rainbowdrop

Years ago my Mum was trying to avoid the Rent Man when he called to our house to collect the weekly rent, because she couldn't afford to pay it that week.

She sent my brother (then aged 7) to answer the door "Tell him I'm gone out" she said. Conversation went like this:

Rent Man- "Hello little boy, is your Mother there?"

Bro - "No, she's gone to the shops"

Rent Man - "OK, tell her I will see her next week"

Bro (whispers) "She said to tell you she's not here, but really she's hiding in the kitchen, my Teacher told me it's wrong to tell lies"

Caught rotten!!:o:o:o

flyton5

rainbowdrop wrote: »

Years ago my Mum was trying to avoid the Rent Man when he called to our house to collect the weekly rent, because she couldn't afford to pay it that week.

She sent my brother (then aged 7) to answer the door "Tell him I'm gone out" she said. Conversation went like this:

Rent Man- "Hello little boy, is your Mother there?"

Bro - "No, she's gone to the shops"

Rent Man - "OK, tell her I will see her next week"

Bro (whispers) "She said to tell you she's not here, but really she's hiding in the kitchen, my Teacher told me it's wrong to tell lies"

Caught rotten!!:o:o:o

Rent dodgers eh? *goes off on rant*

Ghost Estate

flyton5 wrote: »

Rent dodgers eh? *goes off on rant*

in soviet russia rent dodges you

flyton5

Ghost Estate wrote: »

in soviet russia rent dodges you

Original.......AND funny. :rolleyes:

bonerm

rainbowdrop wrote: »

Years ago my Mum was trying to avoid the Rent Man

I've known him since he was a Rent Boy.

Kanoe

watching the week in politics with daughter (not a usual habit) Mary Hannafin summarising the situation at the end, kid without blinking turns around and says, she thinks she's optimist prime and not a negatron.

Johro

I went to the neighbours house to give them a letter that got posted in my letterbox by mistake, rang the bell, her little one opened the door (she's six) and said 'Hi. My mammy wee'd in the bath.'

Was at my sisters', someone knocked on door, my niece opened the door and shouted over her shoulder 'Mam! It's that lady you don't like!'

Overheard on bus: Mam, Gerry's much nicer than our other dads isn't he.

TeddyTedson

Johro wrote: »

I went to the neighbours house to give them a letter that got posted in my letterbox by mistake, rang the bell, her little one opened the door (she's six) and said 'Hi. My mammy wee'd in the bath.'

Was at my sisters', someone knocked on door, my niece opened the door and shouted over her shoulder 'Mam! It's that lady you don't like!'

Overheard on bus: Mam, Gerry's much nicer than our other dads isn't he.

I lol'd big time at that.
So much I wee'd a bit myself.
Thanks for cheering up an old man.

Ganymede Glow

Doing a milk round a few years ago and we knock into this house. The woman there had a bit of a bill building up she hadnt paid in weeks and was always dodging us. Anyway I knock in one afternoon and to my surprise a little girl answers the door. So I politely ask the girl is her mother there? The girl goes missing for about a minute and comes back to the door and comes out with this gem "My mum said she's not here at the moment and she said she will pay you next week"

dr ro

Don't know who was involved but I heard it was true. If there's anyone out there who hasn't heard it before: The mother calls to 4 year old boy"What are you doing, your dinners getting cold" 4 year old replies"i'm washing my phucking handies".

CrazyRabbit

Art Linkletter had a TV show many years ago purely about this topic. Some really funny moments:

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=art+linkletter&aq=1