Friday Funnies

MonkieSocks

Housework was a Woman’s job, but one evening,
Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer.

Dinner was on the stove, and the table set.

She was astonished!

It turns out that Jason had read an article that said,

‘Wives who work full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex’.

The night went very well.

The next day, she told her office friends all about it.

‘We had a great dinner.

Jason even cleaned up the kitchen.

He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away.

I really enjoyed the evening.’

’But what about afterward?’ asked her friends.




’Oh, that........Jason was too tired.’

_____________________________

A man moves into a nudist colony.

He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.

Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo.

He’s really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then
remembers how bad his grandmother’s eyesight is, and hopes she won’t
notice.

A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It reads…

“Thank you for the picture.

Change your hair style… it makes your nose look short”.

Love, Grandma
_____________________________

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome.

One has a cross in front of him; the other one the Star of David.

Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.

A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none give to the beggar behind the Star of David.

Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says,

"My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism.

People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross.

In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite."

The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said:




"Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing."