Sat Funnies

MonkieSocks

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.

She went back to find out what was going on.

He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principal’s office.

He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.

He did it and returned to his class.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.

She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.

‘I thought I told you to call your mom!’ she said.

‘I did,’ he said, ‘and she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she’d come and pick me up from school.’
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A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed.

They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just
walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a
gallon of paint.

He then stopped by the food store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.

However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his
entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told
him she was lost.

She asked, “Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?”

The farmer said, “Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that
house.

I would walk you there but I can’t carry this lot.”

The old lady suggested, “Why don’t you put the can of paint in the
bucket.

Carry the bucket in one hand; put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose
in your other hand?”

“Why thank you very much,” he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says “Let’s take my short cut and go down this alley.

We’ll be there in no time.”

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said,

“I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.

How do I know that when we get in the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?”

The farmer said, “Holy smokes lady!

I’m carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint,two chickens, and a goose.

How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?”

The old lady replied,

“Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens.”

dh0661

Stars for both --- LOL