Losing Control...

LegacyUser

I don't really know how to write or communicate this but here goes, forgive me if I don't make sence....!

A long time ago, I witnessed quite regular domestic violence at home (15-18 years ago). It was quite extreme back then, I was a child of no more than 8 or 9 years.

I moved out of the family home almost four years ago, to the other end of the country. I thought getting away was the answer, but I have also been drawn back so many times.

When I moved, I thought I was initially doing well, I started a new college course and made some friends (more like just a few!).

As time went on, I started to get more and more down in myself...and my life has changed for the worse over the past few years because I can't forget of what happened in my family when I was a child.

Up to now, I have struggled through college...barely passing my exams to the point I am now going to fail (there's no doubt in it!).

I have sought professional help, been to my GP, college councellor and mental health team, I feel sad to say this but none of them have changed the way I feel.

I spent two years on medication, and felt completely raw on them...Until last week I suppose I was 'under control'. Like I was self harming on medication and I feel worse that I am without them.

I went to my GP the other day and saw the team as well, they all feel that meds are not the answer, that I need to face my problems head on...I don't think I can do this even though I know at some point I have to!

Anyway...I don't know if there's anyone out there that has been in a similar situation, does anyone know what I should do...I feel as every day goes on, I'm losing more and more control over my life....

So sorry about the rant..

mickman

i have no idea of what its like to be in your situation but i want to offer my sympathy to you.