bi polar, not coping and now physical problems

ggirl

Sorry if I ramble here. I amin the middle of a manic episode and not coping well with life. I've been dealing mostly with depression since I was a kid and got well eventually but
This has been a bad year. I was low early on for a while then bounced back. But got low again in august (standard for me that time of year)
So I was given new meds which made me high. I was restless, oversexed, hyped up, giddy and unable to sleep. I then came down with sinusitis and the tabs for that totally interferred with me usual bipolar meds. I didn't sleep more than 90 mins a night for a week. My head since then hjas been racing with 100 thoughts, I can't stop crying and feel I can no longer deal with life.
I want to step off the planet a while. And just rest. I'd a meltdown in work last week and tought I woulbe admitted to st pats where I've been before. In the end I was given sleep meds and an alteraion to my meds. I slept ok a few nights then but feel so awful still. I am not someone who ever runs from her responsibilities but couldn't talk to work today so my das did. I'm not being paid and its being brought to the board. I'm so scared. I've thrown up twice today and think it may be stress. But having taken a sleep tab I still can't sleep. I am anxious, scared, frightened, panicked,having thoughts of something bad happening to my loved ones.
Also I've been getting lots of migraines, my tummy/toilet system is all over the place and I am constantly sweating along my neck and hairline.

Sorry for going on I just wanted to explain it all. I am looking for advice on two things really;
1)Has anyone else bipolar who has a good life when well reached the a point whenere they feel the illness is too hard to love with. I don't mean suicidal just overwhelmed?
2)Do u ever worry there is. Something seriously wrong with youu physically? My mam is convinced there is and I'm thinkinshe may be right.

I feel so unable to copr anymore. I just want it to away.
I am blessed with my family and friends but they don't understand inthe same way.
I'm seeing my psych tomorrow thank god. Trying to hold it together til then.
Thanks for reading

sunflower27

Hi OP

My mother has bi-polar. I know that she was on the wrong meds a while back that caused her to have tremors and absolutely destroyed her confidence. All I can suggest is that you go to your GP. My mother got her meds changed as is now doing much better.

It doesn't sound like there is something 'seriously' wrong. Listen, if I wasn't being paid at work I'd be having a 'meltdown' as well. They are separate issues.

Your family and friends may not totally understand, but they love you. That's more than some people have.

I know it's easy for me to say it will be OK, but have faith in yourself. None of us have perfect lives. We all have our crosses to bear. My closest friend in the world has just had her third IVF treatment and at her age is not able to try again. She has been trying for 15 years and will never have her own child; I'm to be made redundant at the end of the month :eek::p It's life.

Get your meds sorted and look forward. We sometimes forget how lucky we truly are.

Best of luck tomorrow

dan_d

OP, I've no experience of bi-polar disorders.

But I will say that I have, over the years, had various issues at work that have led to me going in in the morning with a sick stomach, absolutely sweating, tummy/toilet problems (as you say)...the works.couldn't eat, wanted to run away and cry.

My boss (a girl) used to throw up when she had meetings that made her nervous. As in, meetings where she knew there would be a row (not necessarily about her or her work), where she knew she'd have to stand up and disagree with someone. She literally lost a stone over a year, which was the duration of a very stressful project, because every other week she had a meeting that upset her, and she couldn't keep food down.

My little sister drops about 2 stone at exams from nerves (she hasn't got 2 stone to lose) - diarrhoea for weeks (not to be too graphic). She's got so bad she's been to the doctor about it.

What I'm trying to say is that, in terms of worrying about work, your reaction is not that abnormal. Different people react in different ways to stress. Your reaction may be slightly exaggerated due to your meds, or condition. But many people react like that to stress/nerves at work.

As for the bi-polar condition, I can't unfortunately comment too much, other than to agree with sunflower. Literally take one minute/hour at a time. Sort your meds out and everything else will fall into place. Are your work colleagues aware of your condition?? Maybe they should be?? If you haven't slept properly in days, I can only imagine how you are feeling. Lack of sleep makes people do very strange things. It also completely saps any kind of reserves you might have to help you deal with bad situations (such as the work thing). You just physically cannot do it. Everything is one million times worse when you haven't slept, you get totally keyed up over the tiniest things. Maybe you should concentrate on trying to sleep aswell.

jessiejam

Hi Op
Sorry to hear you are feeling so sh1t at the moment. My mother had bi-polar for as long as I can remember, back then it was called manic depression.
She was treated with so many different tabs to find the one that suited her most, nearly every other day she was in the docs or the psyc ward in the hosp.
You sound just like the way she used to be, only she had 4 young kids to look after.
She always thought it was something physical causing the physical symptoms. but it was the worry and stress and manic episodes that caused the upset stomach, trembles, high blood pressure, dizzy spells, sweating etc.
Eventually she found a tablet or tablets that worked for her along with psychotherapy. The difference with her for 3 whole years was unreal. It was as if her life had suddenly become whole again.
Unfortunately we lost her after that to a completely unrelated illness.

A trip back to the GP is probably the next step for you, but just know there is light at the end of the tunnel, its finding it, is the hard bit. But you will and all the negativity will disappear

Good luck with it x

Miss Fluff

You poor thing OP. You sound like you are going through a hard time. I think as is often the case with bipolar, other medicines for other ailments or just other ailments themselves can often completely interfere and exacerbate the symptoms of the underlying BP.

I think it would help enormously for you to post here. http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055807028
It's a very active group for other people with BP/those who have had experience of it through loved ones and I think they would really be able to offer you some help and advice on how you are feeling right now as well as give you informed answers on your questions.

You will get through this. xx

Zaph

There are a number of regular posters in the Long Term Illness forum who suffer from bipolar disorder, and there are threads on it there. I'm going to move this from PI to LTI as you might get some further advice there. Anonymous posting is also allowed in LTI, in case anyone has concerns over anonymity.