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Child Item

Early puberty??

DubMam

Hi all

Bit of an awkward question, well it makes me feel a little weird anyway

How old were your children when they started to "explore" themselves?? I have suspected for a little while now that my 7 yr old girl has been up to something wityh her door closed but over the weekend I walked in on her in the bath and now I have no doubt exactly what she is doing. Surely this is waaayy too early for this??? I spoke to my husband and he asked was there any chance she had seen me do it, is that where she is getting it from, but there is zero possibility of this. U hear of kids going through puberty and I'm afraid this may be a sign

Anyone any expierence of this??

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Nevyn

It doesn't have to be linked to early onset puberty, are you seeing any signs that her body is getting ready to start puberty? Some girls are getting thier first period by the time they are 9-10 and so the start of changes in thier bodies can be when they are 7-8.

All kids touch themselves, no one needs to tell them, no one needs to show them they figure it out themselves and even if they are too young to orgasm it still feels stimulating and good.

the_syco

Whilst I know nothing about this subject, I will say that it'd be best that she gets the info from you, and not chinese whispers from her "peers" at school. By this, I mean that ignoring it will mean that the info she gets may be the wrong info.

DubMam

Thanks

I actually started my period at 10 but never thought i started changing that early, she is beginning to fill out a little and there is some shape coming to certain areas alright. I just told her not to be doing that as it will make her sore, should I have done that? Should I let her be, will she know when or where is not appropiate to do things like this, god i never saw these questions being asked so early

I look at her brother who is 18 mths older and can tell he is nowhere near this stage yet!

TheQ47

DubMam wrote: »

Thanks

I actually started my period at 10 but never thought i started changing that early, she is beginning to fill out a little and there is some shape coming to certain areas alright. I just told her not to be doing that as it will make her sore, should I have done that? Should I let her be, will she know when or where is not appropiate to do things like this, god i never saw these questions being asked so early I look at her brother who is 18 mths older and can tell he is nowhere near this stage yet!

Opinions will differ on this, but my opinion is that it's probably not the best idea to try and stop her, as she'll most likely do it anyway. We have a great book at home (the name escapes me right now) which is all about telling children about the facts of life, and it recommends telling them that yes it is pleasurable (and it is!!), but there are appropriate times and places, and that you'd need to set ground rules.

If I can find the book, I'll pass on the details of it, it has plenty of age-appropriate responses to all the questions children ask. I think the book is called "Questions Children ask and how to answer them" or something like that.

Edit: Just found the book on Amazon, and it's called Questions Children Ask & How To Answer Them, by Dr. Miriam Stoppard

Nevyn

DubMam wrote: »

Thanks

I actually started my period at 10 but never thought i started changing that early, she is beginning to fill out a little and there is some shape coming to certain areas alright. I just told her not to be doing that as it will make her sore, should I have done that? Should I let her be, will she know when or where is not appropiate to do things like this, god i never saw these questions being asked so early I look at her brother who is 18 mths older and can tell he is nowhere near this stage yet!

It can make her sore if her hands aren't clean then you can end up with her getting thrush, which is never fun. As for when and where you are going ot have to talk to her about it, thus far she seems to have kept to her room which is fair enough.

Well what if anything did your parents say to you?

DubMam

Thanks a mill for the book recommendation, she loves to read so it can be a treat for us to sit down together and have a look.

My parents told me nothing,nada,zip, diddly squat about anything, they would be of that generation that didnt really talk about these things, hearts in the right place of course, just no discussions please! So i learned from friends and the girl guide leader and eventually stay safe programme in school

TheQ47

DubMam wrote: »

Thanks a mill for the book recommendation, she loves to read so it can be a treat for us to sit down together and have a look.

I would definitely recommend reading together, my OH and our eldest (now aged 10) did exactly that about a year or so ago. Any questions she had Mrs TheQ47 answered with the help of the book, then left the book with her when she was ready to look through it herself.

Nevyn

There is also a free book and DVD from the crises pregnancy agency.
It's a good resource but unfortunatly can't be given out to parents via the majority of primary schools.

http://www.crisispregnancy.ie/parentresource.html#n0

Parents play an important role in educating their children about relationships and sexual health. Irish and international research has found that when there is open communication between parents and teenagers about relationships and sex, it can increase the likelihood that the teenager will wait until they are 17 or older to have sex for the first time.

The HSE Crisis Pregnancy Programme has produced a number of resources to assist parents in providing relationships and sex education to their children. These resources have been designed to provide age appropriate information to children aged 10-17 years old.

These resources are available free of charge to parents.

Resource for parents of 10-14 year olds - 'Busy Bodies'

Resource for parents of 11-15 year olds - ‘You can talk to me’

Free Supplement for Parents of older teenagers - 'Resources for Parents older teenagers'
Resources for parents of older teenagers - 'The Facts'

'Busy Bodies- A book about puberty for you and your parents' was developed to provide appropriate information to 5th & 6th class students on the physical and emotional changes that they may experience during puberty. The booklet was developed to help both parents and teachers in the delivery of Relationship & Sexuality Education (RSE) in the home and in school.

The booklet was produced by the Health Service Executive South working in partnership with the RSE Support Service, the National Parents Council (Primary) and the Crisis Pregnancy Programme.

The 'Busy Bodies' booklet, based on the 'Busy Bodies' DVD that is used in primary schools, provides appropriate information to 5th & 6th class students on the physical and emotional changes that they may experience during puberty including:

. How boys' bodies grow and develop during puberty
. How girls' bodies grow and develop, including menstruation
. How babies are made
. Enjoying growing up

Click here to download a copy of the booklet.

To order a copy of the Booklet, FreeText BUSY plus your name and address to 50444.

DubMam

Thanks again

Have had a quick look through the booklet and it seems very straight forward and clear to read, as it is recommended for 5th and 6th and she is oly in 2nd am I jumping the gun giving her all this info? Will she start spouting reproduction facts in school getting all the kids interested??

But I can't ignore it I suppose that will do her no good either....

waggs

What age is a good age to have the talk? I suspect my 11 year old boy already knows everything because any time I try to talk about it he tells me to stop or changes the subject.

Nevyn

I let my two set the pace with the info I let them ask questions and I answered them.
It was funny when recently my 12 year old asked me when he was going to get THE TALK
and I told him we'd been having the talk for years from when he was 5 and we talked about how he's a mix of my dna and his Dads.

You don't have to do it all in one go, start with the fact little girls bodies change and that is how they grow into women, you'd be surprized how much she has picked up.

Chuchoter

I think thats pretty normal tbh, infants often do it, its a part of their body just like any other to them. It won't instigate an early puberty (however if you notice changes like breast development/body odor please go to a doctor and get it checked out, I started puberty in and around that age, causes a fair few problems). Just say that what she is doing is fine as long as she does it in private and doesn't discuss it with anyone but you.

. I wouldn't tell her anything about all the other stuff unless she asks.