Humanity Must Be Destroyed!! (Two Minutes' Hate) 20140525 - SEE RULES IN POST #2

djpbarry

5uspect wrote: »

I know someone who stands still as they come to the end of the escalator because they really dislike the feeling of acceleration as you get off while moving. Needless to say I point it out every time.

I hope you point out that what they're actually experiencing is deceleration.

5uspect

Don't be such a pedant!

Teasey

I live in a very nice “leafy suburb” type area in West London where the overwhelming demographic seems to be Mams with Prams and I could rant for pages and pages about annoying mothers who seem to think that their darling offspring is the most dazzling specimen of perfection ever to grace the face of this Earth but I will restrain myself to one comment.

Dear Doting Parent, if you are taking your child to school and you allow him/her to take up half of the footpath as they meander down the road on a SCOOTER do not look at me as if I have no ovaries just because I asked you to move out of my way so that I could get around him/her in order to get to work – I do not deny his right to use the footpath but some people don’t have time to stroll down the road after a toddler on wheels

/rant

Fysh

Teasey wrote: »

I live in a very nice “leafy suburb” type area in West London where the overwhelming demographic seems to be Mams with Prams and I could rant for pages and pages about annoying mothers who seem to think that their darling offspring is the most dazzling specimen of perfection ever to grace the face of this Earth but I will restrain myself to one comment.

Dear Doting Parent, if you are taking your child to school and you allow him/her to take up half of the footpath as they meander down the road on a SCOOTER do not look at me as if I have no ovaries just because I asked you to move out of my way so that I could get around him/her in order to get to work – I do not deny his right to use the footpath but some people don’t have time to stroll down the road after a toddler on wheels

/rant

I often wish that, in those situations, I were able to get away with what Dara O'Briain suggests in this skit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxQhLZ5bMyQ

I'm pretty sure that it would only take one incident of Little Jimmy being booted into the road/fence/oncoming traffic for the doting parental unit concerned to get the message.

Teasey

Ha ha-love Dara!

I would absolutely love to send little Crispin and Theodora ear-first into a hedge some days! I actually got a smack of a Spongebob Squarepants scooter in the shin one morning. The little fecker decided it'd be great craic to jump off it mid-meander and it wholloped into me. The look on the mother's face. You'd have thought I kicked him or something!

ballsymchugh

Teasey wrote: »

Ha ha-love Dara!

I would absolutely love to send little Crispin and Theodora ear-first into a hedge some days! I actually got a smack of a Spongebob Squarepants scooter in the shin one morning. The little fecker decided it'd be great craic to jump off it mid-meander and it wholloped into me. The look on the mother's face. You'd have thought I kicked him or something!

one of the many upsides of my job is the ability to tell parents like that that their beloved kids are brats, lazy and wasting everyone's time. i've only done it once in the last twelve months, but it was worth it!

woof im a dog

im having nothing but bad experiences with the taxi drivers when im out cycling theyre as fecking dangerous

S.M.B.

How long does it take to fix/renovate a fecking tube escalator?

Stupid Victoria station....

djpbarry

Tourists: **** off.

Just **** right off. Now.

Playboy

djpbarry wrote: »

Tourists: **** off.

Just **** right off. Now.

Dont you love when about 50 of them congregate on a busy corner, tube platform or at the top of an escalator!

djpbarry

Playboy wrote: »

Dont you love when about 50 of them congregate on a busy corner, tube platform or at the top of an escalator!

Cycling into work this morning, got held up by a bunch of tourists who thought it was a good idea to pose for a photo in front of St. Paul's...





...on a zebra crossing. Absolute bastards.

Playboy

djpbarry wrote: »

Cycling into work this morning, got held up by a bunch of tourists who thought it was a good idea to pose for a photo in front of St. Paul's...





...on a zebra crossing. Absolute bastards.

I work right next to St Paul's ... it unfortunately attracts many of them to constantly upset my day!

Fysh

djpbarry wrote: »

Cycling into work this morning, got held up by a bunch of tourists who thought it was a good idea to pose for a photo in front of St. Paul's...

...on a zebra crossing. Absolute bastards.

I would welcome the idea of random merciless beatings for all the twits who go to Abbey Road and insist on clogging up traffic, pavements and crossings to take their stupid $%^&ing Beatles-tribute photos.

I mean, yeah, I know, tourism dollahs FTW etc, but there's a difference between being a complete moron and visiting somewhere new.

old hippy

Confident young Irish folk on the tube and in the bars, talking loudly like they own the place. Bah.

frag420

old hippy wrote: »

Confident young Irish folk on the tube and in the bars, talking loudly like they own the place. Bah.

We soon will own the place mwa ha ha ha ha!!!

On a side note I hate being charged a fookin pound if I want to pay by card in a shop or almost two pound to withdraw cash from an ATM! You can stick your pound up yer thievin hole!!

exiledelbows

frag420 wrote: »

We soon will own the place mwa ha ha ha ha!!!

On a side note I hate being charged a fookin pound if I want to pay by card in a shop or almost two pound to withdraw cash from an ATM! You can stick your pound up yer thievin hole!!

Walk a bit further to a bank's ATM or a supermarket. They don't charge you if you're using an English card.

djpbarry

exiledelbows wrote: »

Walk a bit further to a bank's ATM or a supermarket. They don't charge you if you're using an English card.

Or even a British one.

Playboy

old hippy wrote: »

Confident young Irish folk on the tube and in the bars, talking loudly like they own the place. Bah.

Havent ever noticed this tbh ... I rarely bump into an Irish person

old hippy

Playboy wrote: »

Havent ever noticed this tbh ... I rarely bump into an Irish person

Where I live, there's plenty of us. Most I've seen since the late 80s.

You can tell how long a person's been here by their confidence levels and the volume of their voice. After a year or two, it drops a level

All kidding aside, it's nice to see more of us about but I do cringe when the odd time, a newbie mentions how many "foreigners" are in London :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Playboy

old hippy wrote: »

Where I live, there's plenty of us. Most I've seen since the late 80s.

You can tell how long a person's been here by their confidence levels and the volume of their voice. After a year or two, it drops a level

All kidding aside, it's nice to see more of us about but I do cringe when the odd time, a newbie mentions how many "foreigners" are in London :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Strange I havent noticed then.. this is my 7th year and given that I live in Balham you would think there would be lots about as Clapham/Balham is supposed to be full of Irish. Cant say I ever noticed loud confident Irish talking about foreigners lol... most I meet are usually quiet and mild mannered. Maybe the fact that I'm not out a lot in pubs and niteclubs these days means I just dont come across them. When I do go the pub its usually somewhere in the city and I'm really suprised I dont see more Irish as I presume a lot would be coming over to work in professional jobs unlike the 80's where people were working on the sites and in the trades.

djpbarry

Playboy wrote: »

...Clapham/Balham is supposed to be full of Irish.

I've heard this a lot too, but I can't say I've noticed any more Irish people around Clapham than I have elsewhere in London.

beans

Auto-pilot motherfukcers drifting across 3 lanes at a moment's notice and trying to put me and my bike under their 4x4s; more generally, the minority of drivers who signalling is something to do with delays at Waterloo station.

And the majority of drivers who have no idea how a roundabout works - all cars approach, all cars stop, everyone stares at everyone else until someone bullies their way in, regardless of who's got the right of way. I've noticed this all over the country, not just in London.

Path-cyclists everywhere, I really have to keep the bad thoughts down sometimes... ugh. It's like that 'punch slow-moving pedestrians in the back of the head' feeling, but with more ultra-violence involved.

Ahh... that feels better

Jack B. Badd

Right. To make it absolutely clear to all, the warning that Fysh gave on the "How to make the big leap" thread applies to here too. If anyone wants to continue that discussion, they can take it to PMs. Dragging another thread off-topic after a mod warning will result in a time-out.

Thank you,
Jack

who the fug

Teasey wrote: »

I live in a very nice “leafy suburb” type area in West London where the overwhelming demographic seems to be Mams with Prams and I could rant for pages and pages about annoying mothers who seem to think that their darling offspring is the most dazzling specimen of perfection ever to grace the face of this Earth but I will restrain myself to one comment.


/rant

Was walking along upper Street yesterday morning , and was wondering which is the accessory the baby or the buggy

afatbollix

I know Ireland was bad with planning for the future but I got word yesterday about building crossrail 2 my ears picked up that it would go through Hampton court, Kingston and Twickenham. great I thought as us down south have no tubes But seriously ready in 2032! Thats a joke, They say London will have 10 million living in it by 2020... Some days it feels like that amount with all the stupid tourists on the footpaths!


Also South west trains suck.

exiledelbows

20 Reasons why it takes 20 years to build a railway: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21231044

Basically change every 'build 200 miles of railway through Tory-loving countryside to 'bore a 20-mile tunnel under the primest piece of real estate in the world' and you've got your answer. If you want your infrastructure done quickly, move to China.

Reekwind

For comparison, Brunel drove the Great Western Railway from Paddington to Bristol in about five years (1835-40). A century and a half later and apparently this is something else that the Victorians were better at

tibor

Reekwind wrote: »

For comparison, Brunel drove the Great Western Railway from Paddington to Bristol in about five years (1835-40). A century and a half later and apparently this is something else that the Victorians were better at

There was a great show on BBC a few weeks ago about the history of railway in Britain which had a piece about when first introduced to London they knocked several large swathes of tenements leading in to Kings Cross and left tens of thousands homeless. Similar approach to what you'd have seen in China recently. Quicker, certainly. Better, possibly not.

exiledelbows

United Airlines have temporarily charged me twice for my flights to New York and it won't clear until Wednesday at the earliest. They're blaming the bank and the bank are blaming them. I also spilled my yoghurt this morning that I earned by going to the gym before work. Hungry and fuming.

Fysh

exiledelbows wrote: »

United Airlines have temporarily charged me twice for my flights to New York and it won't clear until Wednesday at the earliest. They're blaming the bank and the bank are blaming them. I also spilled my yoghurt this morning that I earned by going to the gym before work. Hungry and fuming.

I don't know how much this will help, necessarily, but since you mention United Airways:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YGc4zOqozo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-UoERHaSQg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P45E0uGVyeg

I'd seriously consider ringing up their customer service team again and playing that at them if they won't help, then escalating. May as well blame 'em for the yoghurt deprivation too. (I'm unwilling to believe they can't sort it out faster than next week, if I had to guess I'd say they're just being tight about the extra bank charges incurred by putting through the refund sooner...)