I was asked for a light today..

ballsymchugh

I said i didn't smoke. the girl looked at me kinda funny but moved on and asked someone else and i went about the rest of my day not bothered about it.

so, what insignificant few seconds could you have made a big deal out of today??:D

TheZohanS

She was chatting you up...


Was she hot?

Brendog

If you don't shmoke then why are you in the big shmoke?

epgc3fyqirnbsx

caught a girls eye. did nothing

alwaysadub

I got a letter asking to see my bank statements.
The cheek of them just assuming i have a bank account!

abouttobebanned

Why is this an event?!

orourkeda

ballsymchugh wrote: »

I said i didn't smoke. the girl looked at me kinda funny but moved on and asked someone else and i went about the rest of my day not bothered about it.

so, what insignificant few seconds could you have made a big deal out of today??:D

did you shaft her?

KeithM89_old

Got asked directions to a church - i could have been a dick and sent them completely the wrong way but i was too tired and they looked very old and kind.

Princess Peach

I've already blanked out all the details of my day.

Seriously

Brendog

ballsymchugh wrote: »

I said i didn't smoke. the girl looked at me kinda funny but moved on and asked someone else and i went about the rest of my day not bothered about it.

so, what insignificant few seconds could you have made a big deal out of today??:D

It must have bothered you if you remembered to discuss it on an internet forum...

karlog

Girl: Do you have a light?
OP: No but you can have my phone number.
Girl: Why would i want your F***ing phone number.
OP: I thought you were chatting me up.
Girl: All i want to do is light my cigarette FFS.
OP: Ok well i don't smoke.
Girl: A*shole.

Think nothing of it OP.

KylieWyley

this thread disappoints.



I spent a few seconds reading it.

I could have made a big deal about it, but I'll choose not to.

mardybumbum

I purchased a cranberry juice in Tallaght hospital for €1.69.
I handed the cashier €1.70.
I waited for my cent change.
She just stood there and stared at me.
Now, I should have pulled a larry david on her and educated her on the value of a cent but I froze and fcuked up.
It has been hanging over me all day.

foxinsox

ballsymchugh wrote: »

so, what insignificant few seconds could you have made a big deal out of today??:D

I was painting a wall in work..

Guy: That looks great.
Me: Oh, thanks.
Guy: Can I ask you something, I won't be offended if you say no.
Me: eh, ok,
Guy: Have you got green?
Me: eh, yeah....
Guy: I have frogs, two of them..
Me: oh, eh, er
Guy: I won't be offended if you say no..
Me: ok, eh, mmmhh..
Guy: would you paint them for me?
Me: eh.. frogs.. two of them you say..
Guy: Yes, in my house.

* me takes a moment *

Guy: I won't be offended if you say no..
Me: Bring them in and if I have time I'll paint your frogs green.

Guy leaves...
Me ... stands there thinking wtf?

The guy has not brought frogs in yet..I am presuming they are ornaments of some sort.
I swear this is so mad it is absolutely true, I so couldn't have made up such random ****e..
:rolleyes:

starbelgrade

I was in a shop this morning to get a coffee & was waiting behind an older & slightly portly woman who was filling up a cappachino from the machine.

Her drink had finished pouring a few seconds, before she turned around & said, apologised for holding me up... "I was just looking at the cream buns", she said, "and was deciding whether to have one or not".

"Sure why not?" I said & pushed the button marked coffee.

She gave me a filthy look & stormed off.

jackiebaron

When a person asks you for a light and you say you don't smoke you have just become lower than fly-faeces in their eyes.
Nobody gives a FCUK if you smoke or not. That's not a condition for not possessing combustible materials.
If you don't smoke and don't have a light just say you don't have a light.

If I ask someone if they have a pen and they tell me that they type everything and "don't write" I'm going to bate the head off them.

PS carrying a lighter even when you don't smoke is a good way to be a helpful chappie to a lady who needs one...NO?
And you might just get to ride the bum off her.

starbelgrade

foxinsox wrote: »

Guy: Yes, in my house.


The guy has not brought frogs in yet..

I think he was trying a really crap chat up line & it went way over your head. Not saying you're dim or anything, just that the chat up line was so bad, it wasn't even recognisable as a chat up line.

rubensni

foxinsox wrote: »

I was painting a wall in work..

Guy: That looks great.
Me: Oh, thanks.
Guy: Can I ask you something, I won't be offended if you say no.
Me: eh, ok,
Guy: Have you got green?
Me: eh, yeah....
Guy: I have frogs, two of them..
Me: oh, eh, er
Guy: I won't be offended if you say no..
Me: ok, eh, mmmhh..
Guy: would you paint them for me?
Me: eh.. frogs.. two of them you say..
Guy: Yes, in my house.

* me takes a moment *

Guy: I won't be offended if you say no..
Me: Bring them in and if I have time I'll paint your frogs green.

Guy leaves...
Me ... stands there thinking wtf?

The guy has not brought frogs in yet..

I swear this is so mad it is absolutley true, I so couldn't have made up such random ****e..

:rolleyes:

He might have been trying to do a swap for drugs. Two frogs for some green? He's probably just nuts all the same.

foxinsox

starbelgrade wrote: »

I think he was trying a really crap chat up line & it went way over your head. Not saying you're dim or anything, just that the chat up line was so bad, it wasn't even recognisable as a chat up line.

Ah lads...

This guy is about 70+ (a tiny bit too old for me )

It's not drugs...

He defnitely was not chatting me up.. (and I am not dim )


He seriously wants his frogs painted...

I am honestly not taking the piss, it's a strange job I have..
I guarantee you he will appear with two (plaster of paris/ornaments )frogs expecting me to paint them..

true story bro

TanG411

In college today

Girl: Sorry, do you know where room G.06 is?
Me: G.06?
Girl: Yes
Me: *Points to one side of a corridor* It's definitly along this line of doors, maybe down another corridor, it won't be too far.
Girl: Okay, thanks.
Me: Sorry I can't guide you any better than my finger.
Girl: It's okay, thanks anyway.

She wanted me so badly.

Or not. More than likely not.

Princess Peach

Tombiman wrote: »

Me: Sorry I can't guide you any better than my finger.

You could have added to that line and had her weak at the knees!

TanG411

Princess Peach wrote: »

You could have added to that line and had her weak at the knees!

Now you tell me! Hopefully she gets lost again tomorrow. She looked like Katie Melua. Mmmmm.

Princess Peach

"Sorry I can't guide you any better than my finger.

But let my finger guide you to pleasureville."

Trust me, thats all a man needs to do.

Swampy

What I thought would be a sh1t thread, is in fact a very entertaining thread.

fonecrusher1

karlog wrote: »

Girl: Do you have a light?
OP: No but you can have my phone number.
Girl: Why would i want your F***ing phone number.
OP: I thought you were chatting me up.
Girl: All i want to do is light my cigarette FFS.
OP: Ok well i don't smoke.
Girl: A*shole.

Think nothing of it OP.

More like...

Girl: Do you have a light?
/2 hours later OP: Put the lotion in the basket!!!:mad:

mink_man

I was playing cards with a friend, I had the cards in my hand. My friend needed to get home soon enough so I said no worries. I didn't make a big deal about it.

newmug

jackiebaron wrote: »

When a person asks you for a light and you say you don't smoke you have just become lower than fly-faeces in their eyes.
Nobody gives a FCUK if you smoke or not. That's not a condition for not possessing combustible materials.
If you don't smoke and don't have a light just say you don't have a light.

If I ask someone if they have a pen and they tell me that they type everything and "don't write" I'm going to bate the head off them.

PS carrying a lighter even when you don't smoke is a good way to be a helpful chappie to a lady who needs one...NO?
And you might just get to ride the bum off her.

Sorry, I dont smoke.

Kur4mA

I read this really crap thread today. The OP thought they were being so witty by ripping the piss out of another thread. Pure ****e tbh.

ballsymchugh

Swampy wrote: »

What I thought would be a sh1t thread, is in fact a very entertaining thread.

i gotta agree, i was only taking the mick out of gurramock for his shock at someone who thought he may be religious thread, but it's going down a totally different road!:D

Boxoffrogs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtS61PESUWY

WindSock

I lost the ticket for the carpark for the first time ever today. It all worked out in the end. The End.

lemansky

Belen Worried Summer wrote: »

caught a girls eye. did nothing

I caught a girl's eye too. I just gave it back to her though. Living life on the edge as usual Lemansky

jackiebaron

Tombiman wrote: »

Me: Sorry I can't guide you any better than my finger.

Maybe you could finger her better than you can guide her :P

Morlar

I was asked did I 'have a club card or carparking ticket?'

The nerve of some people. I'm going to next 2 weeks whining and running up a forty+page thread in after hours about it though - so it's not all bad.

Magenta

I was asked for my favourite humming noise today..
Yes, I was visiting a clinic at the Mater Hospital and upon regging ya wan behind the counter went through my details and landed me with this bomb of 'what's your favourite humming noise'.

I just went 'wtf' in my head and after an awkward slience said 'err none'.
Then she just wobbled her head and promptly kept typing into her pc.

Now, what frigging relevance is my favourite humming noise in order to get treatment in a hospital?

Thought Ireland was in the 21st century and why would a hospital care about my favourite humming noise

ToniTuddle

Had to get out of bed today and go to the bathroom just when I had gotten comfortable.

I mean seriously....what the hell was my bladder thinking???

B*tch.

MistyCheese

Stranger: Have you got a light?
MistyCheese: Yes. Have you got a space? We could make a continuum.

ballsymchugh

ToniTuddle wrote: »

Had to get out of bed today and go to the bathroom just when I had gotten comfortable.

I mean seriously....what the hell was my bladder thinking???

B*tch.

no, no, no! take that anger to gurramok's thread, this is for the really insignificant things that didn't piss you off in anyway at all!

Jamiekelly

mardybumbum wrote: »

I purchased a cranberry juice in Tallaght hospital for €1.69.
I handed the cashier €1.70.
I waited for my cent change.
She just stood there and stared at me.
Now, I should have pulled a larry david on her and educated her on the value of a cent but I froze and fcuked up.
It has been hanging over me all day.

It actually costs more than 1 cent to make a 1 cent coin so technically the cent has no value....


oops it appears i made a big deal out of something basically insignificant...oh well

ToniTuddle

ballsymchugh wrote: »

no, no, no! take that anger to gurramok's thread, this is for the really insignificant things that didn't piss you off in anyway at all!

*Hangs head in shame*

Victor

I was at a bus stop recently and there was a not unattractive looking, well dressed, young woman smoking - the smoking put me off. However, one of the track-suited brethern wandered up to her, cigarette in hand and asked her for a light. She said "no", at which point he stood away from her. A few minutes later, he secrets his own lighter out of his pocket and lights his cigarette.

The, after another minute or two he wanders off - in the opposite direction to the bus, which seemingly he never intended to get.

jackiebaron wrote: »

When a person asks you for a light and you say you don't smoke you have just become lower than fly-faeces in their eyes.
Nobody gives a FCUK if you smoke or not. That's not a condition for not possessing combustible materials.
If you don't smoke and don't have a light just say you don't have a light.

If I ask someone if they have a pen and they tell me that they type everything and "don't write" I'm going to bate the head off them.

PS carrying a lighter even when you don't smoke is a good way to be a helpful chappie to a lady who needs one...NO?
And you might just get to ride the bum off her.

Imagine the reaction I used to get when I whipped out this?

FruitLover

foxinsox wrote: »

He seriously wants his frogs painted...

Can anyone help me out with this euphemism? I even looked it up in urbandictionary.com, but nothing...

Irish Guitarist

I bought some shopping in Tesco. The woman at the till asked me if two bottles of Tesco pineapple drink were mine as she thought they might have belonged to another customer. I told her that they were mine. She then told me the price of the items I had bought. I handed her €20 and she handed me my change. I put my items in a bag. I went home and put away my shopping.

Did I mention I bought some oven chips? Well, I did. While I was putting away my shopping I preheated the oven. When the oven was hot enough I put some chips in it. I then put the rest of the chips in the freezer. When the chips were cooked I put them on a plate. When I had eaten them I washed my plate and put it in the press.

blue5000

Tombiman wrote: »

In college today

Girl: Sorry, do you know where room G.06 is?
Me: G.06?
Girl: Yes
Me: *Points to one side of a corridor* It's definitly along this line of doors, maybe down another corridor, it won't be too far.
Girl: Okay, thanks.
Me: Sorry I can't guide you any better than my finger.
Girl: It's okay, thanks anyway.

She wanted me so badly.

Or not. More than likely not.

Same time,
same place,
next week (or maybe a few minutes earlier).
Be there, you never know you might get a second chance.......:cool:

foxinsox

FruitLover wrote: »

Can anyone help me out with this euphemism? I even looked it up in urbandictionary.com, but nothing...

I can help...

I can ...

I can ...

That's why I didn't make a big deal of it...

I seriously believe the man wants me to paint his frogs??


I will keep you all updated on this ongoing saga..

MazG

I got a mildly damp walking from the car park into my workplace this morning because it was raining. A short while later, I was dry again.

stoneill

I started reading this thread, then stopped reading it because I got to the last post.

Magenta

I went to the ATM today to take out some money. The machine had no 20's left, so I took the money out in 50's instead.

Yesterday in work I went to write an email but then it was lunchtime so I saved the draft and finished the email in the afternoon.

Lemsiper

ballsymchugh wrote: »

I said i didn't smoke. the girl looked at me kinda funny but moved on and asked someone else and i went about the rest of my day not bothered about it.

so, what insignificant few seconds could you have made a big deal out of today??:D

But, she didn't even ask you if you smoked.

MazG

Lemsiper wrote: »

But, she didn't even ask you if you smoked.

That's the shocking part of this sorry affair... she 'auto-assumed'. She clearly had a smoking ethos and discriminates (possibily even conspires) against non-smokers.







The wagon

Dilynnio

Smoking is soooooo two years ago! :rolleyes:

It is as common as muck now.......even to see people standing outside a pub smoking looks disgusting!

You should have said "oh you smoke?" and then made a horrible oewww face!