Fashion Advice with Raam

The tax man

When asked earlier today the UCI deemed Raam to be consistently ahead of the worlds ever changing cycling fashion trends. UCI president,that bloke,when pressed on the subject sent a clear statement to the fashion houses of just how far Raam is ahead of the game.


That may not look like much but it's the difference between in or out of fashion.

100Suns

Raam wrote: »

I think Karl Marx said it best when he said "On a level plain, simple mounds look like hills; and the insipid flatness of our present bourgeoisie is to be measured by the altitude of its great intellects." That, I'm sure you will agree, tells you everything you need to know about your situation.

I applied whimsy in an attempt to trivialize the issue and you apply Marx. Damn you're good

Lumen

@100Suns: that incident didn't by any chance take place in the Phoenix Park about 17:45 did it?

Raam

daragh_ wrote: »

ahem

Even the mighty Assos must be imperfect, for to be truly perfect would be to challenge Allah.

bcmf

RAAM,
Last week we purchased a new kitten.
I wanted to name it Cipo or Boonen but was outvoted 3 to 1.
I feel my Euro'ness has been comprimised to a fatal degree.
Whats to be done?
Mille Grazie

Raam

bcmf wrote: »

RAAM,
Last week we purchased a new kitten.
I wanted to name it Cipo or Boonen but was outvoted 3 to 1.
I feel my Euro'ness has been comprimised to a fatal degree.
Whats to be done?
Mille Grazie

Hello Kitten Lover,
I'm not sure what this has to do with cycle clothing fashion, but since the thread has very much diverged, I shall entertain it.

You have failed to assert your will in the naming ceremony of the feline. I feel a penance of sorts must be paid. Please do 10 repeats of the Nags Head in the big ring. After that you will be too tired to care about the name of your kitten.

P.S. I would have gone for "Pippo" myself.

Idleater

Oh wise one of fashion,
Have you an opinion on an acceptable form of facial hair that would suitable under rule 21 for Movember?

cormpat

Raam,

Is the photo fashion?FBDmilk ras.jpg

100Suns

Lumen wrote: »

@100Suns: that incident didn't by any chance take place in the Phoenix Park about 17:45 did it?

Hypothetically, what reputational issues might arise if I said 'maybe'?

Raam

Idleater wrote: »

Oh wise one of fashion,
Have you an opinion on an acceptable form of facial hair that would suitable under rule 21 for Movember?

As you know, facial hair is strictly limited. Pozzato is demonstrating a textbook example of what is permitted.



You may NOT wear the Italian champions kit, but you MUST wear white sunglasses.

Raam

cormpat wrote: »

Raam,

Is the photo fashion?

I'm sorry, Cormpat, although I do possess many powers, viewing the private contents of your Yahoo account is not one of them.

coolbeans

Dear RAAM,
Being both a great looking and a lazy sod I can't be bothered with your fancy lycra on my 10KM each way commute from Stillorgan into the CC. Cycling realities being what they are though I still get the old trousers caught in the front cog from time to time so I've come up with the ingenious solution of rolling up me slacks to just below the knees beneath which I wear football/GAA sox, neither of which I play may I add, which naturally looks fabulous. I don't seek your advice as to the suitability of this course of action as I patently don't need it, but I'd be interested to know which county/club socks I should purchase on my next sojourn to David John Sports.

Yours in anticipation,
CB.
PS: I am not averse to the idea of wearing odd sox.
PPS: Both GAA and Association Football sox are open for consideration.

coolbeans

Raam wrote: »

Hello B,
Lidl Espresso will suffice for those times when you have forgotten to renew your subscription of Kopi Luak beans. My favoured coffee brewing method is either a cafetiere or a perculator.

So I suppose Maxwell House is out so...

Raam

coolbeans wrote: »

Dear RAAM,
Being both a great looking and a lazy sod I can't be bothered with your fancy lycra on my 10KM each way commute from Stillorgan into the CC. Cycling realities being what they are though I still get the old trousers caught in the front cog from time time to time so I've come up with the ingenious solution of rolling up me slacks to just below the knees beneath which I wear football/GAA sox, neither of which I play may I add, which naturally looks fabulous. I don't seek your advice as to the suitability of this course of action as I patently don't need it, but I'd be interested to know which county/club socks I should purchase on my next sojourn to David John Sports.

Yours in anticipation,
CB.
PS: I am not averse to the idea of wearing odd sox.

Hello Great-Looking-And-Lazy-Sod,
please wash yourself in a bucket-load of this stuff immediately.


I don't understand the term "county/club socks", or even GAA for that matter.
I am, however, aware of football, having played it for many a year.

I therefore deduce that you wish to wear some kind of similar attire to our friend, Tardelli.

I cannot in good faith sanction such a visible and abhorrent abomination.
I therefore offer this rudimentary alternative.

Raam

Please forgive the disgraceful use of "I" at the start of the last five sentences in my previous post.

Raam

coolbeans wrote: »

So I suppose Maxwell House is out so...

If it were to be called Castello di Maxwelli, then I could permit it.

Lumen

100Suns wrote: »

Hypothetically, what reputational issues might arise if I said 'maybe'?

Well I don't usually commute at over 300W, but if that's what it takes to avoid getting dropped my hand is forced. I figured if I didn't let the overtaker escape my beamscape he'd lose the will to pedal eventually.

Sorry Raam for the off-topic.

Raam

Lumen wrote: »

Well I don't usually commute at over 300W, but if that's what it takes to avoid getting dropped my hand is forced. I figured if I didn't let the overtaker escape my beamscape he'd lose the will to pedal eventually.

Sorry Raam for the off-topic.

Lumen, you did the right thing in this situation. Ol' fancy pants 100 Suns was clearly not satisfied with just beating us in the RAI. He wished to assert more dominance in the heady world of commuter racing. Well you showed him that our crew is the fastest of all crews. +300 watts on a commute (not to mention actually using your power meter for your commute), I salute thee, sir!

coolbeans

Raam wrote: »

Please forgive the disgraceful use of "I" at the start of the last five sentences in my previous post.

The "I" was no accident and you know it. Incidentally, I would have thought that you could forgive yourself or am I seriously overestimating your abilities?
Apologies for the lack of deference:D

Raam

coolbeans wrote: »

The "I" was no accident and you know it. Incidentally, I would have thought that you could forgive yourself or am I seriously overestimating your abilities?
Apologies for the lack of deference:D

Sometimes I am harder on myself than on others, but I digress.

cormpat

Raam wrote: »

I'm sorry, Cormpat, although I do possess many powers, viewing the private contents of your Yahoo account is not one of them.

Raam,

I've updated my previous fashion post to upload the photo that I'd like you to critique for me.
I'm not the best at this internet thing. I prefer to change a ceramic bearing or something to that effect.

Raam

cormpat wrote: »

Raam,

I've updated my previous fashion post to upload the photo that I'd like you to critique for me.
I'm not the best at this internet thing. I prefer to change a ceramic bearing or something to that effect.

All things Rás related must be respected. I'll never get there but I admire those that do.

cormpat

Raam wrote: »

All things Rás related must be respected. I'll never get there but I admire those that do.

I was thinking more about the ladies atire.

Raam

cormpat wrote: »

I was thinking more about the ladies atire.

Raam can only comment with authority on cycling apparel.

100Suns

Raam wrote: »

Lumen, you did the right thing in this situation. Ol' fancy pants 100 Suns was clearly not satisfied with just beating us in the RAI. He wished to assert more dominance in the heady world of commuter racing. Well you showed him that our crew is the fastest of all crews. +300 watts on a commute (not to mention actually using your power meter for your commute), I salute thee, sir!

Raam

You have proven yourself worthy. So, on the topic of headlamps on a push bike, what position would you adopt on Lumen's? Kudos to Lumen for intercepting the Mars lander and stashing it in the shed, but would the headlamps be allowed to grace a Cervelo? Asthetics aside, they are highly functional and I suspect the power source is so large it requires a rider to put out at least 500 w to achieve the momentum necessary to keep the bicycle upright. Chappeau.

Idleater

Raam wrote: »

You may NOT wear the Italian champions kit, but you MUST wear white sunglasses.

Thank you Raam for the direction, I have the white sunglasses, however I own white santini jersey that contains an Italian coloured seam. This is in my view more a nod to the Italian heritage of the brand than the national champions jersey. Please comment on my choice of apparel.

The beard for charity reasons is to be grown strictly within the metric "blade one" and once Movember is over it will return to strict euro rule 21 compliance.

Raam

100Suns wrote: »

Raam

You have proven yourself worthy. So, on the topic of headlamps on a push bike, what position would you adopt on Lumen's? Kudos to Lumen for intercepting the Mars lander and stashing it in the shed, but would the headlamps be allowed to grace a Cervelo? Asthetics aside, they are highly functional and I suspect the power source is so large it requires a rider to put out at least 500 w to achieve the momentum necessary to keep the bicycle upright. Chappeau.

Not being familiar with Lumen's lumens, I can only take a wild guess that it is expensive and either super functional or completely useless. Subtle clues in your post lead me to believe that on this occasion it is the former. In this time of early sunset, it is important to attract peoples attention by whatever means. Pink lycra alone will not cut it on wet and windy evenings.

As for the Cervelo, well I had all manner of light sources attached to my handlebars in the RAI, so I could never criticise anyone for matters of excessive illumination.

Raam

Idleater wrote: »

Thank you Raam for the direction, I have the white sunglasses, however I own white santini jersey that contains an Italian coloured seam. This is in my view more a nod to the Italian heritage of the brand than the national champions jersey. Please comment on my choice of apparel.

The beard for charity reasons is to be grown strictly within the metric "blade one" and once Movember is over it will return to strict euro rule 21 compliance.

I know I have some kit with Eyetallon colours. As long as the shorts are an impeccable match, you're on a winner. Be careful not to smile whilst wearing this kit for to do so would set the movement back years.

Junior

Oh Dearest Raam, I know your deep dark secret. All shall be revealed in Feburary.

100Suns

Raam

Given the status you have now deservedly earned whereby your pronucniations are accepted blindly and willingly, can the members of the Cult of the Raam now direct questions to you in the plural?

In advance of a response, what's your positon on:

Non-cycling realted tattoos
Cycling related tattoos
Having one's palmares tattooed about one's person

Raam

100Suns wrote: »

Raam

Given the status you have now deservedly earned whereby your pronucniations are accepted blindly and willingly, can the members of the Cult of the Raam now direct questions to you in the plural?

In advance of a response, what's your positon on:

Non-cycling realted tattoos
Cycling related tattoos
Having one's palmares tattooed about one's person

I'm not a fan of tattoos. Although during the summer months many budding road cyclists seem to turn up to spins with a tattoo in the making on their inner right calf.

DirkVoodoo

Raam, do bright colours still cut it in the winter months or should I alter the palette of my winter clothing to suit the dreary weather outside?

Regards,

Dirk

Raam

DirkVoodoo wrote: »

Raam, do bright colours still cut it in the winter months or should I alter the palette of my winter clothing to suit the dreary weather outside?

Regards,

Dirk

Hello Dirk,
a splash of colour is always appreciated on the less vibrant winter days.
So yes, you can wear your Liquigas jersey as much as you want.

DirkVoodoo

Raam wrote: »

Hello Dirk,
a splash of colour is always appreciated on the less vibrant winter days.
So yes, you can wear your Liquigas jersey as much as you want.

Liquigas kit, what liquigas kit. I would never stoop to wearing replica team kit, you must have me confused with Captain Havoc....*cough*

shaungil

Can I get a "Raam is coming " tattoo?

RobFowl

shaungil wrote: »

Can I get a "Raam is coming " tattoo?

Filthy bugger

Raam

shaungil wrote: »

Can I get a "Raam is coming " tattoo?

Which part of "I'm not a fan of tattoos" do you not understand?

Lusk Doyle

Raam,

Your older brother seems to have no sense of style with regard to both cycling form and apparel. How can this be so, when you are of such greatness in both?It must run in the family, no? Are you in fact the paper man's son? That would help explain the attachment to the bike...


...confused over DNA variances!

shaungil

"In Raam we trust"

shaungil

Raam is light

ROK ON

Raam wrote: »

Which part of "I'm not a fan of tattoos" do you not understand?

Tinys feeling will be hurt.

jeffontour

Dear Raam,

what are your opinions on sharing cycling attire with ones significant other? For example a husband borrowing his wife's jersey?

Yours,

Howmetroistoometro

Raam

Raam refers the recent jokers to a previous post.

DirkVoodoo

Raam, I'm not sure if this is a fashion question or not, but is it acceptable to "dress" my bike with one of these:



I find it is both more comfortable, like sitting on the sofa and I think it makes my bike look a little healthier. I really don't know why ye all have them funny little bony saddles.

Raam

DirkVoodoo wrote: »

Raam, I'm not sure if this is a fashion question or not, but is it acceptable to "dress" my bike with one of these:

I find it is both more comfortable, like sitting on the sofa and I think it makes my bike look a little healthier. I really don't know why ye all have them funny little bony saddles.

Hello Lard-Ass
races are not won by sitting on saddles which are like sofas. They only reason people ride fast is so that they can get off the bloody bike as soon as possible.
Please purchase this instead.

Sr. Assumpta

This is probably an etiquette rather than a fashion query, nonetheless, here goes.........

While on Club cyles etc I can't help but notice that my fellow (largely male) (although not all Large males; some of them are quite little actually..... Anyhow, I digress) cyclists spit frequently, and also shoot bodily waste from their noses!!!!!! And quite openly too! At times, while enjoying the more leisurley pace at the back of our disciplined train, one runs the risk of requiring water-resistant clothing even on the sunniest day! It might be relevant to note that I have yet to witness this soccer-like behaviour from a female cyclist.

Interestingly, I recently joined the group for a spinning class, they wore their usual gear, they drank from their water bottles (yeah, i know there's another name for them, that's not my query though) and they got all hot & sweaty, in short, they took on their usual club-cycle-appearance, and yet not one amongst them resorted to shooting snot out of their noses!

I ask you, what's the story???

goldencleric

Raam,

One of the only rules of the Euro cyclist that I am uncomfortable with is that requiring the Euro cyclist to wear the peak of his cap in the downward position. I regularly wear my casquette facing to the sky ala Merckx, Kelly, Roche et al ... How do you feel on the matter?

Raam

Sr. Assumpta wrote: »

This is probably an etiquette rather than a fashion query, nonetheless, here goes.........

While on Club cyles etc I can't help but notice that my fellow (largely male) (although not all Large males; some of them are quite little actually..... Anyhow, I digress) cyclists spit frequently, and also shoot bodily waste from their noses!!!!!! And quite openly too! At times, while enjoying the more leisurley pace at the back of our disciplined train, one runs the risk of requiring water-resistant clothing even on the sunniest day! It might be relevant to note that I have yet to witness this soccer-like behaviour from a female cyclist.

Interestingly, I recently joined the group for a spinning class, they wore their usual gear, they drank from their water bottles (yeah, i know there's another name for them, that's not my query though) and they got all hot & sweaty, in short, they took on their usual club-cycle-appearance, and yet not one amongst them resorted to shooting snot out of their noses!

I ask you, what's the story???

Hello Sister,
it truly is refreshing to see ladies of the cloth taken with the pious art of pacelines.

The snot-rockets which you find so diabolical are a result of cold moving air. The ever so saintly spin-class version of your friends will invariably be stationary with sessions held in the sanctity of a nice warm room and so will not be subject to the same elements as their outdoor alter egos.

Might I suggest, as a means of resolution, that you call foul when the less couth riders open their airwaves? After all, a subtle word or even a bidon* to the back of the head can do wonders.

All said, I am not sure which would cause more of a problem whilst cycling: your habit or theirs.

Amen.

* that's the word you so sinfully neglected to use

Raam

goldencleric wrote: »

Raam,

One of the only rules of the Euro cyclist that I am uncomfortable with is that requiring the Euro cyclist to wear the peak of his cap in the downward position. I regularly wear my casquette facing to the sky ala Merckx, Kelly, Roche et al ... How do you feel on the matter?

One of the few times this is acceptable is in situations such as that illustrated in the attachment.

Sr. Assumpta

Raam wrote: »

Hello Sister,
it truly is refreshing to see ladies of the cloth taken with the pious art of pacelines.

The snot-rockets which you find so diabolical are a result of cold moving air. The ever so saintly spin-class version of your friends will invariably be stationary with sessions held in the sanctity of a nice warm room and so will not be subject to the same elements as their outdoor alter egos.

Might I suggest, as a means of resolution, that you call foul when the less couth riders open their airwaves? After all, a subtle word or even a bidon* to the back of the head can do wonders.

All said, I am not sure which would cause more of a problem whilst cycling: your habit or theirs.

Amen.

* that's the word you so sinfully neglected to use

Thank you my (metaphorical/ ecumenical use) Son for clarifying this matter,

(am now reaching for my bidon of Holy Water to bless you with!)