Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people *MOD NOTE POST #1*

akamossy

"I have to study" onto facebook I go and see you liking various pictures of girls. Fcuk right off

LegacyUser

She sits surrounded

by a maze of clotted black,

once red,alive with feeling;

but now there’s no turning back.

How did she fall back to this place,

the murky depths within her mind;

perhaps she sought out solace

unaware what she would find.

The ‘go’ sign is long past her

and the ‘stop’ sign out of sight,

she has no vision, no direction

no roadway out of this night.

x Purple Pawprints x

Right I know you're having chinese now but it's your treat and you deserve it. You've lost almost a stone and a half in 11 weeks. You're doing so well! Keep it up and stay excited about being able to wear nice clothes this summer instead of covering up! xx

ArtyC

You think you can Swan in, say sorry and all is ok. ITs not, it won't be

cookiexx

2013,

Since we met you've watched my heart break and my confidence be rattled to the core over a guy that made me feel nothing but bad about myself.

Since we met you've thrown a spanner in the works at work and made me worry about my future, about money, about my professional reputation and where the hell I go from here.

Since we met I've been so desperately lonely and scared of making the wrong choice in terms of where I'm going to live and what I'm going to do for the rest of my life.

Since we met I've been hurting. I've been insecure. I've been lacking motivation, lacking the ability to go to bed on time, lacking the spark that has always defined me.

Since we've met I've been comfort eating over all of this and have gained half a stone. I've lost the will to work out. I just couldn't give a shit at the moment and I've all but given up on men and relationships and love and lust altogether.

Cut a girl a break here.

Please give me a good summer, I need a good summer.

Please give me courage to do the right thing, no matter how difficult. Because I've got a lot of work ahead of me and I'm not entirely believing in you right now.

Cc

Sunshineboo

Hello flirting
How I've missed you!

LegacyUser

To my yesterday,

It looks like you’re moving away for good. It’s crazy how time changes everything and yet nothing all at once. I’m so happy for you, I really am – but I’ll miss you, even though we don't see each other too often anymore. We've become more distant and that's ok, that's just how things went, but there's something about crossing water that makes that distance seem all the more great. We went through so much together and tough as that year was, it connected us in a way that will always stay with me. The nights I spent worrying that you’d finally given up were made up for by the nights you reassured me that I made life seem a little more worthwhile. At least then I felt I was of some use, because I felt useless so much of the time; I couldn’t understand, I didn’t understand…until it happened to me too.

And when it did – there you were. Those calls with the 10 hour time difference that woke you up at 3am; you always answered them. You were there. You talked me into coming home and when I did you supported me during the worst few months of my life. Thank you.

We’ve lost each other between then and now and all of the fuzziness that fell in amongst the cracks; I had to let you go to live your life, as you once let me go to live mine. But you get it, you’re the one person who will always get it…and that makes me feel a little less crazy.

She seems amazing, she really does. You have a beautiful, caring wife and I just know you’re going to have a beautiful little family too. You deserve this happiness, more than anyone.

It gives me hope to see you so content; it makes me think if you could get past it then maybe I can too. But then I think that maybe you’re just a stronger person than me.

x Purple Pawprints x

What the f*** did you text me last night for? What did you think it was going to achieve? We're over. Grow the hell up, sort your life and don't dare treat someone else like you treated me. If you text me again I'm having your number blocked. I've unfollowed and blocked you on Twitter and deleted you off Facebook, something I should have done a long time ago for both our sakes. It's better this way. I don't hate you but I don't think I love you anymore. It's sad but you really only have yourself to blame. It was cowardly to break my heart over the phone. What, was I not good enough? Did I not deserve that much? I gave you 2 years of my life and in that time I couldn't have loved you more or treated you better and you threw it all back in my face. One good thing has come out of all this - nobody will treat me like that ever again.  

DeltaWhite

Dear Me,

Sooner or later you have to make that decision. Won't be easy but you can see how it's been for a long while now. Maybe you're just not meant to be with him maybe if you stop looking at how other people live their lives for once and concentrate on your own you might feel differently.



Dear C

You @sshole man... I just can't understand what your problem is. You would be kicking yourself if I left you.. There's many blokes out there who would treat me better, but then again I guess that's what I'm afraid of, afraid of leaving you to discover they are all the fcuking same. If it comes to it that's a risk I will have to take. No matter how many times I've told you I'm unhappy - you still don't get it. Please just use that massive brain of yours and realise what you have that could potentially in the near future, tell you to jog on and have a nice life..

xLexie

Seriously, I'm about at the end of my last nerve with you, who the **** do you think you are you jumped up hatchet faced cow? I don't have to answer to you or ask your permission for anything I do during the day or with my time. Come anywhere near me for the rest of the day and ill have a lot more to say to you.

x Purple Pawprints x

I'm going out tomorrow night to something we'd planned on going to together. Do you know why I'm going alone? Because I know you would have been too broke/not bothered to go and I would have missed out on it too.

So I'm going and I'm going to have fun.

You need to get over yourself. If you dare contact me again I'm blocking your number so p**s off.

LegacyUser

To You S,

I regret reading about your news today. It came as a shock to me and it must have been a huge blow to you too and I want to express sympathy to you. You were so long in your post and clearly had a passion for what you did, then all of a sudden, without warning, sacked and made redundant. Just absolutely dismissed. Spat out. Given an excuse but there could be something more at play considering your post will be advertised again but all dressed up with some sort of a spin on it, to justify sacking you. But it will be your post and your job, through and through. And you are feeling a bit aggreviated about all that and rightly so under the circumstances.

I'm sorry to read this about you. I truly am but at the same time I feel a little warm and fuzzy on the inside about it too due to the way you treated me. Karma coming back to bite you in a similar fashion that you were so quick to dish out at me.

What you did to me - emotional mind games - was cold, heartless, ruthless and callous amongst so much more. You used a tactic of empty promises to get me to fall for you and have you playing on my mind, while you kept me at your fingertips waiting in suspense and anticipation. The real killer came when I brought up this issue with you thinking that maybe there was some sort of a logical reason for this. Maybe you were busy or sick or something and didn't get around to simply fulfilling on your promises. I mean it was you that wanted to see me again and I took the issue up with you then. If you didn't display an interest in me again, I would have got the message from you and left it. Your excuse prolonged the disappointment that you caused with doubt and confusion and false hope and there was nothing to you. Treat me with hot and cold. Only someone to be fcuked about with and dismissed with lies, I was to you. It broke me. I can't understand how anyone can be like that.
You need made me out to be crazy for wanting and needing to know why you lied to me. You denied any lying with your excuses which in my books were just that. You could have acted upon your excuses to show me that you weren't lying. You know, rectify it. But you did nothing. You treated me with lies, to get me to fall for you or for any other reason, I do not know. Made me out to be a dangerous person for displaying anger at the situation.

So ignorant to your folly, so you are.

Well well well

Karma caught up with you in a similiar fashion. Treated ruthlessly and cold and heartlessly. But at least you have an avenue open to you to rectify it - the unfair dismissals thing and you are getting plenty of support to. I was so, so alone.

You won't be so quick to dish it out again in future, now will you? I certainly hope not anyways.

Here I am hoping and praying that something will work out for you all the same. That maybe your management team might change their minds and reconsider their decision or some other thing will be pulled. Or that you find work easily. At the same time I'm also in two minds about it and thinking that maybe nothing working out for you and your life falls to pieces, will be a good thing. A good dose of your medicine might do you good.

LegacyUser

Had a therapy session last night, he asked me how long I think I can keep isolating myself for, I don’t see any reason to stop. I like my life like this, I avoid people because letting them into my world gives them the chance to turn it upside down and I can’t risk that, because I’m just about keeping my head above water as it is. My psych isn’t like other counsellors, he lets me know when things I say make him sad, he lets me know he actually cares. At the same time, I know he doesn’t carry that sadness – he just acknowledges mine and wishes I didn’t have to deal with this pain. I wish more people were like that. So often I feel I can’t talk to people because I can’t stand the thought of them worrying about me and I don’t want to be that person. Sometimes I crack and I let someone in for a little while, but I just end up pushing them away eventually.


We spoke about X, and the email he sent me out of the blue asking about the second guy that night. That really screwed me over. I sat shaking for an hour trying to figure out what to do. I mean, who does that? What was his logic? We hadn’t spoken in ages and he decides to start the conversation with hey why don’t you tell me all about the second guy who assaulted you that night. Oh and the 'It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it’. Oh course I don’t want to ****ing talk about it!!! He's implying that what I told him isn't enough for him to accept how much it messed me up, or to have caused PTSD. How could I EVER trust him enough to talk to him about anything remotely to do with all of that anymore?!! Even if I did, he'd still twist it so that it was my fault. And I can't risk being treated like that again. Not when it hurt so much the last time.

My pysch asked me if I’m sure he doesn’t suffer from Autism because he can't understand how he can be so cold and unfeeling, but I doubt it and it's irrelevant because even if he does have some kind of shiit to deal with himself, it doesn’t give him a license to treat anyone the way he treated me. I still remember his response the first time I tried to tell him what happened with that other guy soon after it happened, it was after my first counseling session and I called him but he couldn't answer. I told him how important it was and he got annoyed at me instead of being there when I needed him. I left him a voice-mail when I was really upset and asked him to please call me back...he never did, and said I could say whatever I had to say in a text. A text. He wanted me to tell him everything in a text. So I emailed, but he said the email was too long and he didn’t have time to read it – and might get around to it when he had a chance. NOW he wants to know? F..uk that ****! I haven’t spoken to anyone about what happened with that guy and he’s the last fcking person I want to talk to about it!!! The psych said it’s obvious his opinion of me still has an effect on me and that I think about him alot... and he’s right, I just wish it didn’t. I can almost count the times we met on one hand, and the phonecalls were nearly as non-existent - in 5 years. It's all been text, email, email, email. I don't get it. Why couldn't he have just answered when I called or come to see me now and then? What was so hard about it all ,why did he make it so hard when it could have been so easy and WHY did he keep me hanging on when he never really cared at all?! Because he didn't- you don't say those things to someone you care about. I never knew who he was. I still don't. I don't know why I care. Why do I?!! What's wrong with me?!!

We spoke about other people, friends who have tried to connect with me lately, and he said I’m still pushing and pulling because I just can’t accept that people might care about me. He’s right, I don’t know why anyone would care about me or like me right now, so when they do I just don’t trust it, or them. It’s going to ruin any relationship that has the potential to begin because I can’t let anyone be that close to me – I can’t believe that they really want to be there and I’m constantly waiting for them to walk away, like X always did when things got tough. I'm used to it now. So it’s easier to push them away myself and control the situation before it happens.

I just don't know what to think or feel. 2 steps forward, 10 steps back. All it took was an email. I want to bleed out all of this pain inside my mind, it’s like a cancer invading my heart and soul and taking away every single piece of the person I used to be.

xLexie

Why can't you feel this calm and relaxed all the time? Stop being horrid, you kno what you need to do. For your own sake as well as theirs. Not much longer x

Princess Peach

I keep taking steps backwards in life. Make a little progress and then end back where I was.

Wanting to change is not making it happen. I'm just not sure if its because I don't know how, or I'm just too afraid.

hedgehog21

I can change my weight, no problem, but you will always be a D!CK!!!!

WinterSong

D,

I wish I was going to see you sooner than I am, because I know exactly how I feel about you and I can't tell you until I see you. I keep seeing things that I'd love to send in your package but I second guess myself because I'm afraid that it will give you a message that I only want to give you in person so we can talk about it properly. I'm looking forward to sending it though, because every single thing you get from me has a story behind it. x

H,

You're so right. I think that the hardest part is that when we all go home, it'll be like none of this ever happened, as if this whole year never happened. Nothing is ever what we expect, is it? When we're back it'll be like we've never been away, and there'll be no trace of us here. But some of the memories I've forged with all of you will stay with me until the day I die. I'm very lucky to have you all as a part of my life now. And we'll be fine, you know. Life goes on, and yeah, that can be horrible to think sometimes when it comes to feeling as though almost a year of your life never happened, but it's also a comfort. Life goes on, and we'll go on, and even if nothing big has changed, we have, in small but important ways. We're going to be swell. x

Naid23

So I guess this is finally it!!.. Been waiting for this day for so so long and people keep asking me how I feel about it finally happening- truth is.. I dont feel anything, its almost like Im completely numb to whats going on around me even though all the attention is on me. Im sure i will feel different when I get there but now when someone asks me "am i so excited?" I just plaster on the fake smile and nod cos im empty inside.

I need this trip to figure out who I am and what i want in my life and also who I want in my life but also know that Im walking ( and have walked) away from so much that has made me who I am. Who knows when or even If i will be back whether it be by my doing or not! I'm scared as hell but trying not to show it in front of everyone which it probably why I feel numb. Thats generally my way of dealing with all stuff- just block it out and carry on!

Im running away from it all even though I now know I can be happy in this country despite everything thats happened the last year.

Family,
Thank you for everything you've done and for basically putting up with me all these years- who knows when i will be home but I promise you I will be!

G,
We've come along way together and became grown ups together. Thank you for everything, i know it hasnt been easy but it really is for the best for both our sakes.

C,
I know youre gonna look out for me as we travel the world, Im glad i get to experience with someone as crazy as me! Tequila it is!

D,
You are the newest addition to my life and i really wish I would have met you a hell of a lot sooner and had more time to spend with you. We didnt expect things to turn out as they did but what happens happens and happens for a reason( I really hope). I swore I wouldnt let myself feel like this but you really have made a big impact on my life- whether or not i have made one on yours! I wish all the happiness in the world for you and hope i see you again when Im home.

So Im leaving the country tomorrow- who knows when I'll be back!
Lets do this!!

xLexie

What have I done? People think I'm a nicer person than I really am n I feel like an utter fraud. I'm not good or perfect or considerate. I'm hateful spiteful and selfish. Downing so many drinks, bad bad, it doesn't make me feel ok, I kno this and I still try. I'm sorry for messing you around, I want you, I don't, I do, I'm not sure, I definitely don't. Thanks for tonight p, I promise I'm not usually like this, ill b fixed soon.

x Purple Pawprints x

Dear cute drummer,

Thanks for making me smile tonight. Not sure if you were just being friendly or if you were looking at me but in any case it was nice to feel butterflies again. Even just talking to you is a big step for me considering everything that's happened lately and how shy I normally am. You seem kinda shy too and I like that. It's very sweet.

This probably seems a teeny bit stalkerish but anyway..

You and the guys are really talented and I really enjoyed the gig so fingers crossed I'll be seeing the band, and more importantly you sometime soon. I'd sorta like to talk to you again.

From

The shy(ish) girl bopping away in the corner

LegacyUser

So, its Monday. You are still in bed at 1pm for the third day in a row, and it would be the fourth day except you had to work on Friday. I've been minding our child all weekend long. You even failed to make up the meals you promised so I had to get in shop bought baby food rather than home made. I've been cleaning up after you all weekend long in my pjs as you don't even give me a chance to shower and dress till the late afternoon. There have been no family activites, no time spent with our child, you won't even walk to the playground. You won't wash, or brush your teeth, you're so lazy.

Yes, surprise surprise, you better believe we are only having one child. Honestly, weekends like this have me counting the time until I have to be back at work and rid of your do-nothing-and-be-happy-about-it attitude.

LegacyUser

T,

haha, 2 weeks ago i was like hmm ok, youre being nice polite etc.
somehow i am falling for you now.
Thought it was just bit of craic and now we're out for food drink at lunch..
cheers deaaarr!! dont think i'll manage that long without seeing ya!

x Purple Pawprints x

This is a song that really explains how I was feeling at the end of my relationship with my ex. Couldn't see it at the time. But hindsight is a great thing. I found this song a couple of years back but it meant nothing to until now. It's called Had Enough and it's by a band called Lifehouse.

Loneliness pacing up and down these hallways
Second guessing every thought
Mystified, just spinning 'round in circles
Drowning in the silent screaming with nothing left to say

Everytime I reach for you, there's no one there to hold on to
Nothing left for me to miss, I'm letting go, letting go of this
Lost my mind thinking it through, the light inside has left me too
Now I know what empty is, I've had enough, I've had enough of this

I believe that love should be a reason
To give and get back in return
I wanna breathe in a new beginning
With someone who will wrap her arms around what's left of me

Everytime I reach for you, there's no one there to hold onto
Nothing left for me to miss, I'm letting go, letting go of this
Lost my mind thinking it through, the light inside has left me too
Now I know what empty is, I've had enough, I've had enough of this

I'm tired of barely holding on
To something that's already gone
I'm tired of being the one who's in this all alone

Everytime I reach for you, there's no one there to hold on to
Nothing left for me to miss, I'm letting go of this
Lost my mind thinking it through, the light inside has left me too
Now I know what empty is, I've had enough, I've had enough of this

Everytime I reach for you, there's no one there to hold on to
Nothing left for me to miss, I'm letting go, letting go of this
Lost my mind thinking it through, the light inside has left me too
Now I know what empty is, I've had enough, had enough of this
Oh whoa, oh, I've had enough, had enough of this

OldNotWIse

I find it hard to know what you want, your signals are so mixed! But then there is a part of me thinking, if I can't decide if you want me, you probably dont. And another part of me saying, I just want you to want me so I can be the one who makes the decision to walk away.

You evicted me from my own life and in a way, I despise you for that.

LegacyUser

Dear __

You make me so sad. I lay there last week, just watching you.
I needed a cuddle, I needed some shred of warmth or intimacy. I thought I was going to start crying right there in your bed. It was such a struggle to hold back the tears. As I watched you I realised, I'd done it again. I'd let myself be fooled again. It's just sex isn't it, you don't really give a s**t about me do you?
Part of me wishes I had started crying, just to see how you'd handle it.

You were different at the start, you made an effort, you were kind, you actually cared. But you changed the rules and you never told me, it's not fair.

I thought I'd finally found someone who understood me, instead I just found someone who understood all the buttons to press to get me under the thumb.

I really thought you were different, I let you in. I let you in and you f**ked me over.
I let you see how vulnerable I was and you just preyed on it.

I'm so angry, the person you let me fall for was all just an act and you knew it. You lied to me. You knew it but you just kept acting.

Do you even feel an ounce of guilt?

From,
C

larrymickdick

aw to my lovely boyfriend - thank you for minding me this last week - being broke is horrible and you've been so sweet! huggles & lul :):):P

Sephiroth_dude

Thank you for that lovely pm you sent me this morning,It's been a gloomy few weeks for me and that message you sent me just cheered me right up,thank you again .

Das Kitty

Dear D,

I wish I had known you better, but I feel blessed to have known you at all, even if it was only a little bit.

OldNotWIse

How can I be jealous of her, when you are treating her so badly? Would I want to be with you if you treated me like that?

akamossy

Cannot believe this is happening all over again! Seriously wonder what I did to deserve it happening once never mind twice.