Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people *MOD NOTE POST #1*

LegacyUser

To my dearest wife.
I am so scared tonight, I came to the realisation this evening that I don't think I can forgive you. I literally though my heart was going to break open in my chest with the pain. Its been five and a half weeks now, but it's just not getting any easier - I am sinking into this whole and I can't see a way out. I am living day to day, if you can call it that.
I believe you when you say you love me, I believe you when you say your sorry, I believe you want things to work out for us - but I can't understand why, I can't ever see myself being able to trust again. If you had just stopped at a kiss, or maybe just at a one night thing, maybe just maybe I could forgive - but you didn't.
Yes we had our troubles, I was away a lot with work, your job, my family stuff. But as I kept telling you we have no problems in so may ways compared to others.  I failed to see where you were coming from when you asked to attend counselling, I will carry that with me to my grave - I wasn't there when you needed me. I disappointed you at your birthday yet again. I expected you to be able to carry all this **** like me, hoping for a better future. I failed you as your husband.
Now in the cold light of day I must make the decisions, stay or go? 
But what will happen to you, to me, to our sons - in either scenario? What is the right decision, there is no right decision.
The night you told me, by 4am I was sure of two things - that I loved you and wanted to be with you, and that I didn't want this to impact on the boys.  I have been hanging on in the hope time will ease things, but so far it hasn't.  But tonight I just don't think I can carry this cross and forgive you.

Please lord give me the strength to do the right thing by my wife and boys

Being with you is the only thing that eases the pain, but it's also destroying me. What ever happens know that I will always love you, I will always be there for you, I will trade my life for yours in a heartbeat if it's called for.

Love always

LTT

OMG.. Guest maybankholiday...i am sitting here in tears for your pain. I sincerely hope your wife gets to read this post i wished i had someone who loved me as much as you clearly love her. I hope to find inner peace for you and whatever decision you make. They say we always hurt the ones we love the most and 99% of the time that is true. forgive her and most importantly forgive you...........

Sunshineboo

Dear Me

So you have lost almost a stone are you happier? no. Do you feel sexier? No. I've never truly believed happiness came from within, I always thought maybe if I lose that stone and slip into a size 8 then everything else will magically fall into place. It's not true, I need to work on being happy inside because I'm still miserable whether I'm a size 8 or a 12.

LegacyUser

Dear user,

Tired of being used as a last resort when you have no-one else to meet up. Today you clearly were holding out for a better offer, none came? Well guess what I'm busy now!

beks101

Work,

It's actually liberating how little I care for you anymore.
After two, three...actually altogether probably more like five or six years of caring about little else.

I've taken a step back.
I've opened my mind to the idea that you're just a ****ing pay check, at the end of the day and you play no role in determining my self worth.

The Old Me would be scared, worried, anxious, depressed, freaked out right about now...

But guess what? I have five months left here. Five. And I'm not spending them couped up in an air-less newsroom feeling like shite because of a messed up schedule, or a crabby colleague, or a rake of overtime and cancelled dates because it's after six and there's been another fucking earthquake, or shooting, or murder suicide, or car crash, or any number of depressing things that can happen in this world that I have no choice but to hear about.

I guess the enlightening thing in all of this is that maybe, just maybe...I still have a soul.

So yeah. Here's to not caring. Here's to finding other things to care about. Here's to being proud of myself for how much I've achieved, but realizing when it's time to step back. Here's to having a life again.

B

MissFlitworth

Exam,

I wish I could give a rats about you but I just can't. I'm so apathetic that you're on in 2 hours, I've slept the weekend away & I still cannot be bothered looking through my notes. On the flip side I am going to care really rather a lot if I fail you. Going to have to be a lot of waffling done & a fervent prayer from my heart that my lecturer needs a high pass rate to keep his contract this year.

College,

I am OVER you, you sh1tty bad boyfriend you. 3 years of being anxious and having to be out in the cold every Monday & Wednesday night. 3 years of feeling guilty from November to January and Patricks Day weekend till mid May. I am done pouring 2.5 months of my salary into your greedy maw every year. I want shot of you. I am lazy and you are demanding & expensive. Pass me. Let me go. (And did I mention I'm an anxiety-eater with a limited amount of items of clothing that fit over a pot belly? Really - time to say goodbye)

SarahBeep!

I love you for everything you're doing right now. I know I give out to you sometimes, but that's only because I know you're so much better than that. Things will work out, don't worry xx

Princess Peach

Kharma,

I got your message. I was given this body, and while nowhere near perfect is healthy. And I abused it. Ate food I should be grateful for and threw it right back up again more times than I can count.

I did so last week, and felt good afterwards. Hours later I was right back there with a vomiting bug so bad I wanted to die. I get it, health is a blessing I took for granted.

I'll try better to change, even though I'm scared.

LegacyUser

Dear C

Please stop ringing me. I'm not interested. I dont even want to waste my breath telling you to get lost. Its too much effort. Im just not answering your calls, you might get the hint.

I was mad about you and you knew that and took advantage of that. And you treated me like crap. You never took me out, never had a good night with you, you never stayed one night with me. In three years. What the fcuk is the matter with me? You rang me last week and expected I drop everything. But, no more. You said you loved me, but what have you done for me?

Im so ashamed, I know the reason but you sure fooled me. C'mon, you're not married, you've no kids, you can walk any day you want. But you wont. Yeah, blame it on the bank, blame it on money, you want to buy a house, you wont rent. Excuses and nothing but.

You're a lowlife, you're selfish. Only out for yourself. Im done with you. So stop ringing me.

herisson

Me,

You need a slap across the fcuking face.
Sabotaging good things happening again.
Its in your head!!! :mad:

LegacyUser

Dear kitty ,

Please don't die , you're the best cat ever and I'm actually heartbroken your in pain.

Love you always.

M

larrymickdick

26 days and I'm still not sleeping - still having nightmares - wish I could shrug off these horrible thoughts that I have - they always seem to take over at night- it's like the darkness is invading my mind - I know it's my mind playing tricks on me - my subconscious letting my fears take over - they are gone when the sun comes up - but in the darkness they live and breathe - take shape and grip my mind. Need to find a tool or way to break this for good - don't want to spend all my nights thinking of you - worrying about myself. I just want sleep - I can't control a lot of things - I know I don't need to - but if I could just sleep and let go of the fear

MauraTheThird

Why did you kiss someone else?

I thought what we had was good. I know it was before we were official, I know all that. But you told me that you thought of me like a girlfriend for ages, so you kissed her, feeling that way? I understand I said I was ok with it but I'm torturing myself her looking her up on Facebook, wondering why you decided to kiss her that night. You'd called me specifically before you went out, minutes before you went into the nightclub. I don't understand how you could've gone from that to kissing somebody else?

You say you were drunk but you sounded fine to me, telling me that you wished I was there. I don't know what saddens me most- that you kissed someone else after telling me you missed me and wished I was there or that I like you so so much and I'm terrified it could happen again?

Qui sera, sera.

Mrs Garth Brooks

Dear suicidal weather

Please give us a break. Its been a long winter. Its meant to be the start of summer. Just please

LegacyUser

Dear (now) ex..

So i get that those feelings you (maybe) had for me didnt last too long.
Fair enough, these things happens.
but why not ring or text and explain that maybe for the best etc..

but no you do it by ignoring me. really?

So then i text you normal and unfort your reply is telling me tragic news about someone.
Someone i know too and i explain that i'm sad etc
Also this news came at the start of the busiest ad most stressful weeks im ever to have which u knew about.

so rather than even just humour me , you ignore me, totally and completly.
All week i was so busy so it went through my mind odd time what a prat u were being.

and yet when i asked what was up, you still ignored me.

So to end the worst 7 days of my life.. me telling you this, you still ignore me.

Well to be honest , i know now youre a prat but still hasnt hit me What a prat you actually are.
as the song goes

you left me 'just when i needed you most'
i'll never forget you for that reason alone.

Dear D..

you're such a twat but i love ya.. Thanks for putting up with me on sat and for the hug and for not being a d*ck.
xx

C..
my heart is breaking for you.
I'm not going to know what to say to you.
xx

Dear God,

please stop people from dying.
I can't deal with any more pain .
really!
Thanks .

LegacyUser

In 3 months I'm going to be homeless, actual living on the street homeless.
World, I pray, please please give me a job soon so I can avoid having my life ruined...

Orim

It's been 10 years since I put you to put you to bed. 10 years since I heard the screams.

Would you have been as pretty as I imagine? As smart as I know you were capable of?

They say time is the great healer but it's hard to believe.

LegacyUser

This is real.
In 3 months time I'm going to be homeless.
I've never been so scared. I don't know what I'm going to do. I suppose its at times like this that you realise how truly alone you are. I have no where to go. No one to stay with.
I feel like there's a clock over me now. I don't know what's going to happen.

I regret all those times I complained about stupid things. First world problems as the saying goes. I can't go near Facebook because I think if I hear someone complaining that their Iphone has a crack in it I'll just break down. My phone has no sound and randomly dropped calls and turns itself off at least once a day. It's been killing my job search. My god someone please give me a job soon...

I'll survive this, I don't know how, but I will. I hope I'll be stronger for it. I'm so scared...

Gongoozler

I know this is kinda against the rules,but i wanted to offer the last poster a phone. Its my old phone but it still works pretty well. Was trying to sell it but i'd give it to him/her if i can - if you have a boards account pm me.

x Purple Pawprints x

I know this is probably against the rules too but...

Dear Homelesssoon,

I really hope things get better soon for you. My heart really goes out to you. Look after yourself. I'm not one for praying by any means but I will be praying and hoping you'll be okay. xx

LegacyUser

I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me.

Let me know how you get on with your popularity contest which I won't be participating in. I should listen to my instincts more often. Laters

Dear S,

I wish I had the guts to ask you out. I think you're really cute and I reckon we'd have quite a lot in common if we knew each other a bit better. But I've never asked anyone out in my life, because every time I look in the mirror I see a depressed, unattractive, overweight loser staring back at me. If I did ask you out I'm 99% sure you'd say no, and I'd just feel awkward around you any time we met. So I guess we'll just have to stay casual acquaintances.

Sadly yours,

B

April O Neill

Dear Life,

Please get better soon. One more setback, and I don't know how I'll cope. I need to feel some glimmer of excitement and happiness, I forget what that feels like. While I am all too familiar with feelings of futility, inadequacy, loneliness and disappointment. Please, I really need this.

April

LegacyUser

Well its all over now the past two weeks have been the worst of my life without you. I'm trying to pick my self up and get my life on track without you but I honestly don't know where to start. Your all Iv knowen since iv been 16. You didn't even tell me face to face you sit outside our apartment and texted me coz u said you couldn't bear to see me so upset. I'll never forgive u for that. But I still wud take u back in a blink of a eye. It feels like my world has crashed right in my eyes but I can't stop it. Iv never felt so lonely in my life. Packing up all my stuff in the apartment was so hard and harder when I seen you put our I love you mugs in the cupboard.I'm so lost without you. Iv just lied in my bed since yesterday balling my eyes out thinking about all the stuff we have done together and all we have been Thur.I keep thinking about when u get a new gf and it breaks my heart to think you with another girl doin all the stuff we used to do. I love u and miss u so much I dono how I'm goin to carry on with life without you. People are telling me I'll get over with time and meet somebody new but I don't want somebody new I want you.I don't want to be with any other boy.you are only person for me and I know it I hope u feel the same way in the further some time. Love u always and forever t xxxxx

larrymickdick

I don't know if you will ever read these but if you do, Gem you're a star. I'm dealing with a heavy burden at the moment like yourself. I know how difficult it is for you. It can be hard to wrap your head around everything and face your demons but you're moving towards resolving them and for this I applaud you.

I know it will take time for both of us to get back on track but I just wanted you to know in case there was any doubt. I love you very dearly - I always have. In your best or worse form of yourself I have never stopped loving you and I know I never will. I don't have any answers for what the future holds - I do know it scares me sometimes but, even if we never end up back together romantically, I was, and am, extremely lucky to have met you and have you in my life. I want to thank you for everything you have taught me - as you have taught me a lot - about myself and about life.

A lesser man than you would have not taken the time with me, would have blamed me for their problems - I know I deserve great love now and even though we are not "together" I think of you fondly and I think of you often. I will practice mindfulness and I know that we can do this - for ourselves - we deserve happiness.

Speak soon xxxx

For me:

Remember these words of wisdom...

Life is like riding a bike. To keep your balance you must keep moving.
Real love is knowing someone's weakness and not taking advantage of them. Knowing their flaws and accepting them for who they are. Do this for yourself. You deserve this love.
Don't lose Hope. When the sun goes down the stars come out.

And your personal favourite:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

Be kind to yourself - treat yourself gently.

LegacyUser

I hope your missing me as much as I'm missing you I honestly dono how I'm goin to cope without you it feels like somebody has stabbed me in the heart its so painfull. Iv wrote you a few texts telling you how much I miss u but I haven't sent them cause I don't wna annoy you. Its so different from three weeks ago when we were in the zoo having a good laff together. I wish and pray that you will just call me and tell me that it all a big mistake. T xxxx

LegacyUser

You dicked me around and all you were was a bull****ter. You put up a front of being a gentleman but far from it you were. You kept me dangling on a string. You disappointed me and you couldn't even correct that disappointment that you caused.
In time I reacted badly to all that from you. So much emotions at play and I needed closure from the chapter that you opened. You shat on top of my emotions.

I googled your name and a picture of you came up on google images. I was overcome with so much sorrow and grief and remorse for my outgoing behaviour. Really. I feel so, so bad. Strange considering you are a fcuking dickhead.

To C,

I wish you had even the slightest idea how much damage you did to me. My self-esteem, self-worth, sanity, confidence and ability to recover from a mental illness that hinders me every single day.......every single one of those things was exacerbated by your actions. I hate that it's already been three years since we first met, two and a half since we last met, and yet I still think about you. I also hate how amazing your life seems to have gone since then and how set for the future you are. You hurt me more than anyone else ever has in my life and yet you have everything in life I could hope for. There really isn't any justice in this world, is there?

To L,

It's likely that you have absolutely no idea how much you hurt me. Deleting someone you barely know on Facebook.....hardly crime of the century, is it? But it really REALLY hurt at the time. I know we didn't know each other that well but I genuinely considered you a friend, and I thought you considered me one as well. Guess I misjudged you. It's ironic that for someone who purports to care so much about mental illness that you'd so quickly cut someone with one, in very vulnerable circumstances, out of your life as soon as you could.

To A

You're a truly lovely, genuine person. I'm so sorry we lost touch but I was in a position where I thought the only way I could ever move forward was try to eliminate as much of the past as possible. Obviously, since I'm here typing this, that plan didn't work. Anyway I'm glad I knew you, even if it was only for a very brief time. I wish you nothing but the best in the future.

To G and CON,

You're funny people! And I similarly regret losing touch with you both. Hope life is going ok for you.

Yours sadly and semi-drunkenly,

B.

50SofG

i'm doing the best i know how, sorry it never seams good enough.

50SofG

mrs stelle where have you gone... come back