Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people *MOD NOTE POST #1*

flowerchild

Augmerson wrote: »

I will think of you for awhile longer. You will pop up in my head, I will miss the intimacy that was between us and I will wake up in the middle of the night wide awake having dreamt of you but that will pass soon and I will move on. In a way I am glad this happened because it has shown me what is important and what is not and made me more aware and sensitive to other people, and anything that gives me experience which allows me to be a better person is never something wasted.

People do think about others when situations change. Lost intimacy is a pity, isn't it. Even nattering about very inconsequential things can be comforting and enjoyable when it happens every day. It's like you can be yourself. You don't have to try to be interesting, to be as though you are at a party. You can just be as you really are.

I hope that you sleep well.

skywards

imdone wrote: »

Dear Mammy

I ****ing hate you!
How can you keep doing this to us? You do realise you are doing it to us all?
Everytime you decide to start drinking again you are killing us a little bit at a time!
We had to leave you on your own this time because its too dangerous for us to be with you while you are drunk!
Because you are so vicious and violent when you are drinking and we are so on the edge of losing the will to care Im afraid of what we will do to you or what you will do to us!
Do you have any idea of how much it hurts to hear the things you say or to feel that your mum hates you?
Do you have any idea of how scared we are that we will find you dead ?
And of course you know that all of your family will blame us because we left you on your own! But you are no longer "their responsibility".
How nice to have the freedom to abandon you yet still have the moral highground!
I feel physically sick when i think of what you are doing to yourself!
And constantly amazed that you havent drank yourself to death yet - how does the human body put up with that much abuse from alcohol and medication - not too mention all the falls and everything else you do to yourself!
And I hate what you have done to Daddy - turned what was a strong great man who took you out of an abusive house and gave you a new home and new family - you've made him so weak he cant stand up to you - he doesnt know how to change!
I hate being angry all the time - I hate that this has dominated my life for so long!
And I cant see it ever ending!
I think you have brain damaged yourself beyond repair!
I can see this affecting every aspect of my life from here on in! How would i bring a boyfriend home to that? How could i have a wedding without worrying that you would get pissed and ruin it? How could I have babies without their lives being infected by the misery and worry and violence? I will never allow my children to suffer through the kind of childhood ive had!

I could keep typing forever and ill never get all my anger and pain and frustration out!

PLEASE STOP DRINKING!

(imdone - but i never will be able to be)

Wow, thats exactly what I'd have wanted to say to my father. Not gonna lie, life is a loooot more pleasant now that he's dead .

flowerchild

Dear x

I was shocked when you banned me, because the trigger for the ban was just me saying 'that would be right'. Not even to a moderator or on a post. It was a discussion with a poster by visitor message. And I got permanently banned. So over the top and unfair.

I responded reasonably to the ban. I did not react with anger or abuse. I waited a long time, many months, for the emotions that might have triggered the ban to pass. I waited until the busy workload associated with political whirlwinds to pass.

I asked politely to have the ban lifted. I received no reply. I waited again for months. I asked politely again for the ban to be lifted, giving reasons. Again I got no response.

It felt very rude. Unnecessarily so.

I am a supportive and thoughtful member of a forum. People may not always agree with what I say but I am genuine in my contributions and seek to understand differing viewpoints.

I became a member of a different forum, this one. It has its own elements, but it is not the same. I feel as though I have been pidgeon-holed, almost like a dumb blonde, and I don't like it.

I am more than my interest in social and personal issues. And I don't like being parked on the side, like a tasty afterthought. It is demeaning.

flowerchild

skywards wrote: »

Wow, thats exactly what I'd have wanted to say to my father. Not gonna lie, life is a loooot more pleasant now that he's dead .

My mother told me that she cried with relief when her father died when you was 14. He saw her as a leader and beat her whenever she failed to meet his expectations. He beat her around her head and she was worried that he would kill her or give her brain damage.

Sometimes it is legitimate and reasonable to welcome someone's death, even if you understand the reasons for their behaviour.

Poor Craythur

First boyfriend, you're a lovely person and I'm sorry I treated you so badly. I hope you are happy, whatever you are doing in your life.

Niamho!

You were never a friend to me. I wasted 8 years of my life trying to be your friend and it kills me that it took me that long to come to my senses and see you for what you really are. A dirty little slag who will never change and will never have any friends because you don't know the meaning of the word. You drop your pals in a heartbeat for a drink or the prospect of a some male attention. I'd love to tell your boyfriend how much of a slag you are. I was only ever someone handy for a night out when you wanted to get wasted and all those nights you ruined for me because you got yourself into trouble or some sort of state or crying in the toilet for the night. You are nothing but a mess, who'll never have anyone if you keep on the way you are. I'm so glad I never have to apologise to anyone for you again, Or feel embarrassed by your sloppiness.* You treated me like ****!


*As far as I know nobody does because I've heard the girl in question actually does have nobody left to call a friend. Good enough for her.

LegacyUser

Dear Mister B,
Happy Birthday from someone who loved you very much. The ending was so traumatic, the constant lying and deceit ruined any chance of friendship or keeping in contact. It undid all the good memories of the years we spent together. I never thought you would do what you did and I never imagined you would bail out on us, our future and our dreams. I said things I didn’t mean to and if I could take back the nasty words I said to you I would. And I wish you could take back what happened that day, I didn’t need to see it for my own eyes.

LegacyUser

I walked past an Easter Egg display today, and thought of you... I think I'll always be on the lookout for the Bounty

I like this feeling. I like that I can think of you now and smile at the memories, without them being tainted by that horrible sadness that had a hold of me for so long. I'm so glad you're doing so well now, and even just knowing that has released me from the guilt of not being able to help you...even though I know it was never within my means to.

I really hope you have someone to buy that egg for this year

flowerchild

Niamho! wrote: »

You were never a friend to me.

Evidently.

Niamho! wrote: »

A dirty little slag

Language like this is a great pity. It can only be damaging, short and long term.

Niamho! wrote: »

who will never ... have any friends

Possibly true. Some people are just not very good at friendship. And they may take a while for it to get up to the top of their self-improvement list.

You clearly feel strongly. It might be better to say 'I feel angry with you because ...'.

Ickle Magoo

flowerchild,

As per the title of the thread, posters use this thread as an opportunity to say some of the things they wish they could say to people in real life, it isn't an advice thread.

If you have an issue with a post or poster, please use the report function and let the moderators deal with it. You can find a copy of this forums charter here.

Many thanks. :cool:

flowerchild

Dear x

I wish you had never called me a dirty slut in the morning, ignored me like I didn't exist and stood by while others called me a slag. It was very hurtful and has stayed with me from that day.

I was just a young girl who didn't deserve to be treated like that.

LegacyUser

I'm sorry I've been quiet lately, I know you know that somethings wrong, it's just hard to explain when I don't exactly know myself.

Us sleeping together was a big deal for me, and it left me caught up in a bag of mixed emotions, I just didn't know how to feel. See, I haven't had any intimacy like that in a long time; the problems in my last relationship meant that it wasn't possible. I tried to be ok with that at the time, I was in love, and I'd sacrificed so many things to be with that person that sex just didn't seem important. When we split up I told him I'd never want to be with anyone again, and I honestly felt that way at the time, but then I met you. And now, it almost feels like a betrayal that I've been with someone else, it's like I'm admitting that I did need this closeness, and that what I had just wasn't enough. But that's the thing - it wasn't.

I keep comparing my feelings with you to how I felt with him, and God I'm so bloody confused. I remember the night I met him, I was completely blown away, I knew right then that I was going to fall head over heels in love. The months after were like a dream, I felt like I was floating on this cloud that only had room for us, and the rest of the world was a million miles away. But then, things got so so hard, and we crashed to the ground with a bang. Those last few months messed me up, and I'm trying to sort my head out now, I really am - but it's not easy.

See, I like you a lot. You're a lovely guy, you're funny, kind, sweet, and really attractive. You make me smile, even when you're not trying to, and you're there for me whenever I need you - but the thing is, I don't think I want to need anyone. They always leave.

There's this other feeling too.....a kind of boredom. I think I'm just so used to the drama of being with someone with so many problems, that things just being 'ok' with you all of the time makes me feel somethings missing. I'm so used to those constant highs and lows. I can see what I'm doing you know, I constantly ask you if you're annoyed about things, and I freak out about little things that shouldn't matter. Because I'm still walking on eggshells and, as much as I hated that, I think I'm addicted to the feeling.

I've only known you a short time, but you're putting up with all of this. You reassure me when I need to be reassured, you hold me when I need to be held, and you don't ask questions that you know I can't give the answers to. The thing is, I just can't figure out how I feel about you, and I'm so sorry for that. I don't know if I could ever fall in love with you, I don't know if I can ever have a normal loving relationship with anyone, I really don't.

I'm trying to work it all out, but how do you fall in love with someone when you're still in love with someone else? I don't want that relationship back, I promise you that, but it's remnants are tattooed on my heart...and I just don't know how to make them disappear.

Please wait for me, I just need some time x

LegacyUser

J,

I've fallen in love with you. I know there can't ever be anything between us. I was broken hearted when you moved away and since you've been back, so are all those feelings. I don't know if I'm more happy or sad now. Every time we have a night out, I can't sleep after we part. I wish you wouldn't tell me about your new bf. You have no idea how much my heart breaks when you do this. For what it's worth, you mean the world to me. You don't know how beautiful, thoughtful, funny, modest and amazing you are. I can't tell you as much as I'd love to.

I'm sorry things aren't healthy at the moment. I can handle my feelings and you have nothing to fear. I want to find someone too so we can go back to being friends like we've always been and we can both be happy. I told you I don't believe in soul mates. I do, I just think you're mine. Thank you for sharing yourself with me. Our friendship is the only good thing in my life. I'm sorry.

flowerchild

I wish you wouldn't use the green grin image. You only ever pull it out when you are saying something nasty.

So whenever you get an urge to insert the green globule, why don't you do everyone a favour and delete the whole post.

Maple

Flowerchild, your post can be read as a passive aggressive swipe at another Boards member. Please do not make any more references to banning or deleting posts again.

Maple

LegacyUser

You've managed to nestle yourself into a place in my heart that I thought was long since closed off with "Out of Order" signs on the front of it. You make me feel like I'm walking on air, you make me feel invincible and you bring out a side of me I never knew was there, the fun is really quite epic.

I've always been skeptical of the whole "bad timing" phenomenon, but I think that in this case I have no choice but to put my cynicism aside; sometimes life really is too complicated to allow a person to give it their all. I'm torn between letting you go and refusing to give up, and if you asked me to fight for you I'd do it with every ounce of energy I have in my body. I'm scared though that when you do heal that someone else will find you. 'If it's meant to be' is easy in theory, so hard to have faith in.

But you have a journey to go on, and I accept that, and all I can do is leave you go and hope that someday you'll make your way back to me. There's so much more there to be discovered, so many more songs to make memories from. But if nothing else, you deserve to be happy, and I hope that soon you can see in yourself the amazing person that I know you are.

Catch you later big spoon.

flowerchild

I wish you wouldn't box me in. I like to say what I think. Not all suggestions for change are critical. When you say less nasty things you will feel better. To notice a pattern and suggest changes is supportive not critical. A pathway to mutually better experiences. I have not been able to swim for a day and ache all over. Physical strain may lead to abruptness but my intention was absolutely to be helpful.

LegacyUser

I just really, don't want to say to you that I'm on to you! I KNOW when we go for THAT weekend away you are going to propose! I am so, so excited! I can't wait for you to ask!

I can't say any of this to you and it's so hard cos I am so so happy! I know we have talked about it and we know we are 'forever' but I am dying for it to be official!

You and me Babe....

G86

little spoon wrote: »

You've managed to nestle yourself into a place in my heart that I thought was long since closed off with "Out of Order" signs on the front of it. You make me feel like I'm walking on air, you make me feel invincible and you bring out a side of me I never knew was there, the fun is really quite epic.

I've always been skeptical of the whole "bad timing" phenomenon, but I think that in this case I have no choice but to put my cynicism aside; sometimes life really is too complicated to allow a person to give it their all. I'm torn between letting you go and refusing to give up, and if you asked me to fight for you I'd do it with every ounce of energy I have in my body. I'm scared though that when you do heal that someone else will find you. 'If it's meant to be' is easy in theory, so hard to have faith in.

But you have a journey to go on, and I accept that, and all I can do is leave you go and hope that someday you'll make your way back to me. There's so much more there to be discovered, so many more songs to make memories from. But if nothing else, you deserve to be happy, and I hope that soon you can see in yourself the amazing person that I know you are.

Catch you later big spoon.

What an amazing post, it actually brought tears to my eyes, sometimes we just have to let people go. I really hope things work out for you.

Maple

Flowerchild, banned 7 days for ignoring onthread warnings

Maple

Novella

Dear D,

I have no idea how or what you did but you have somehow made me realise that I don't actually need to put up with things in life that make me unhappy. I was always such a push-over. I was always the person who said sorry, and begged for forgiveness even when a lot of the time it wasn't my fault.

I'm terrified of being lonely, of being alone so I've put up with being treated badly a hell of a lot. In fact, I didn't just put up with it, I figured I deserved it and I guess any company was better than no company in my mind.

Lately, I've started to notice I respect myself more. Even though walking away from people does hurt, to be honest, I'm proud that I have this new-found ability to recognise that it is okay for me to expect more. The tears I cry now aren't tears of sadness, or tears of loss. They are tears of joy at finally being able to love myself... even just a tiny bit.

I wish that there was a word that meant more than thank you, and I wish that thank you was a word big enough to convey how grateful I am to you.

S.

G86

My dearest Aunty,

I have so much to repay you for, and I don't think anything will ever be enough.

You loved me at a time when I didn't know what love was; and when a mothers love was never mine you gave me yours. Those years were hard, so hard that I sometimes thought I'd never make it through, but you were always there to push me forward and make sure I came out the other side. I remember our wee routine when I was younger, every Tuesday and Friday we'd walk the 2 miles over to the local shop and get the groceries. Then we'd come home, you'd put on the dinner, and I'd take Granny for her walk around the house. Sometimes I'd sit and comb Granda's hair for a while, he always looked so funny when I put those tiny plaits in - especially since he only had a wee tuft of hair left to start with! As they got older, you did everything you could to make them comfortable, and nursed them until they died. You looked after them, in that way that you seem to look after everyone. I always thought that if I'd ever met Mother Teresa then I'd tell her about you, because if ever there was an angel in my life it's you.

You bought me my first proper bike, you saved up and paid bit by bit for it with your dole money every Friday, so that I'd have it on time for my birthday. Until then, I'd only had hand--me-downs that were always in some way broken, kind of like me I guess, I was always kind of broken - because of the people who brought me here. But you could see that, and bit by bit you always undid their damage, and somehow put me back together.

Do you remember those walks we went on? We'd walk up by my cousins old school, and I'd pick flowers along the way. When we got there, I'd play basketball in the yard, whilst you sat in the sun enjoying this small irregular break from the life you led, the life you led devoted to helping other people. Sometimes we'd walk up to the 'small bridge' (the big one was down the other end of the road), and I'd get so excited at the prospect of walking barefoot in the shallow water underneath it, even in the cold! It was like an adventure, I could pretend I was somewhere else, and travel far away with my thoughts. Maybe you did that too...I wonder where you went....

When my Debs arrived you came with me to buy my dress, I went for the cheaper ones, because I didn't want you to worry about money. But then I tried on this amazing ballgown, and I fell in love with it. It was €190, and I felt so guilty that I didn't want to get it, but you said the important thing was that I was happy. That was typical of you...always making sure that everyone was happy. I found out later that you used money your sister had given you for your birthday to get it for me, that's the kind of person you are, you sacrifice so much for other people. You're the kindest, most amazing person I've ever met, and ever will meet; and having you in my life has made me 10 times the person I'd have been without you to guide my way.

No-one ever thought I'd get to college, the money just wasn't there, and they just didn't care. But you cared, you cared and you encouraged me to try, you showed me that I had a way out. I worked my ass off to get through those few years, and I did it for you, I wanted to make you proud...and you know what? I think I did My Graduation was the best day of my life, having you sit there and watch as I achieved the one thing we'd always worked so hard towards, and knowing that it meant as much to you as it did to me. I have tears in my eyes as I write this, remembering that moment, because I think it was one tiny step towards repaying you for all that you've done for me...although I know I'll never quite be able to.

Thank you. Thank you for wiping my tears as they fell, and holding my hand when I just wanted to run away. Thank you for eating those apple tarts I made, the rock hard pastry that threatened to break your dentures in half, but somehow always tasted delicious to you Thank you for showing me how to smile, when I grew up seeing nothing but pain; for showing me love, when I was surrounded by hate. Thank you for rubbing my belly when it hurt, and mending my heart when it broke...;you always had a plaster ready when I tore open my knee, just like you always had a hug ready when the pain was more than skin deep.

I wouldn't be me if it hadn't been for you. I don't think I'll ever have the words to tell you just how much I love you, but I try to show you every single day, and I'm going to keep trying because words will just never be enough. Please just know that you don't have to worry about me anymore, I'm ok, I got here - and it's all because of you. We did it Aunty, I did it. Thank you x

Asphyxia

Your post just made me cry G86

Carter12

Me too , just lovely words x

LegacyUser

Dear M,

I remember our first date; we met through the infamous Ock, you added me on Facebook; i remember going through your pictures thinking he's cute

It took you 3 months to ask me on a proper date, when you finally did we spent all night talking... One of my best dates; I got home after midnight and had work the next day.
I was wrecked but I was giddy, couldn't wait to brag to the girls... And brag I did...
We texted the next day; you texted me suggesting i invite you over as I had free gaff...
I did; you spent the night, dropped me at work, due to work commitments the next time I saw you was over a week and in that time I wasn't sure. You are bad communicating, texts, phone calls - it was hard getting anything from you. I went on a date that week; sat through the date and all I could think of was you... Unfair to the chap, he was really nice but i wasn't interested...

We lasted just over 2 months; in the 2 months I tried to think positively, it was funny how it ended; the mail i sent you...
It took me a while to type, I had tears in my eyes, I kept hoping you'd tell me everything was gonna be okay and would work out but you didn't... Instead you agreed with me

I need a partner; someone to share good times and bad times, that's not you...

Deleting you from Facebook although childish will give me some sort of closure; I can't bear to read your status updates on my feed

'X is now friends with Y girl' did I mention all girls...

It hit me this morning; I’ve got a lot going on for me. I am smart, educated, ambitious and attractive. To the man who captures my heart - good luck and to you M who 'broke' my heart temporary good luck...


N

MissFlitworth

Dear Belly,

I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut you off (not physically with scissors etc. as that would be gross and kill me, rather cut you off from all your favourite snacks). You're never happy anymore, no matter how much I give you, you take and you take and you take and you never shut up going on about donuts. Only half an hour ago we had a lovely and giant chicken salad, already you're pestering me for chocolate. We're heading back towards the days when we used to wander through Dorothy Perkins looking wistfully at the maternity jeans and going 'Hmm, why don't they put a big elastic pocket on the belly of normal jeans? fools!!' Remember when we used to have to turn off the telly when the 'Bellys Going to Get You' ad came on as the big bouncy monster belly was the spit of you?. We're not going back there belly.

You're so hyped up on your addiction that you've lost your short term memory. Remember the biscuit I gave you earlier? And the little milkyway? No? Howsabout the crackers we had after lunch? Nothing?

You need help belly, no longer can I enable you. I can't afford to be buying larger sized trousers in which to house you.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to take a hard line with you from now on in. No more bits of cheese to nibble on while we cook dinner, no more spoons of peanut butter, no more bread from the lovely French bakery.

I still love you belly, I just loved you more when you didn't make me look like a particularly portly santa claus. One day you'll thank me for this.

LegacyUser

dear tool,

Please hurry up and **** off and emigrate!
Prick!


E.

Maple

G86, your post is one of the most beautiful and touching pieces of writing I've ever had the privilege to read.

poconnor16

Dear Other Half,

I wish you would grow up, commit and get the hint - propose damn you! We've been together long enough, we both want the same things...sure you're my best friend and I couldn't see a life without you.
And stop changing the subject when I bring it up.
when are you going to realise that you are a lucky man?:rolleyes:

Sugarfree

Jesus you must all be on the rag or something.