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Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people *MOD NOTE POST #1*
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Jesus you must all be on the rag or something.MissFlitworth wrote: »<yawn>poconnor16 wrote: »Deep
Thanks,
Maple0 -
Apologies Maple, a moment of irritation :mad:
Point taken:o0 -
Mam
i feel a bit lost without you. when people ask did we get on, I dont know what to say. it was always so up and down. cause we were so alike. all those times you asked for hugs and i didn't want to give you one, i think that's the biggest regret i'll ever have. two years today. and i still haven't accepted i'll never see you again. of course you'll be giving out for me having thought something so horrible.
there's so much i want to tell you. i just want to talk to you about it all. i want to tell you that i have depression too so you can finally understand why i get as upset as i do. i wasn't ready to lost my mam, i feel like i've been forced to grow up all of a sudden, with no help.
you were selfish. you knew smoking would kill you, and you did it anyway. and in a way i hate you for doing that to us.
every time i see the lads, i can't help but think how much you're missing. I just know jack doesn't understand where you're gone and that you're not coming back.
I'm so glad that I was the one holding your hand when it happened but I'm so sorry that that day was the only day I ever told you i loved you. I'm sorry. you did your best, and no one could see that.
one thing that has come of this is every so often it pops into my head that once you're gone, you're gone, you only have one life, and so i'm trying to be happy. i'm trying ... to do things that make me happy, and trying to not care always about other people.
I hope you're not mad that I didn't go to the mass. but you know why i didn't. and yeah i wish i could get over it, but I don't know how to. and I just know that whatever you'd have to say would make me feel confident about it, and ready to face the world. I wish you were here.
x0 -
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Dear Mom and Dad,
I know I am an absolute pain in the arse of a daughter. I'm in college doing a course that I'm not sure I want to do, I've been talking about dropping out and going through the CAO again and whatnot. Believe me when I say that I feel awful about it. The last thing I want to do is waste your money or let you down. All I want is for you to be proud of me, like you were the day I got my Leaving Cert results, and the day I got my offer for uni.
Now here I am, scraping through uni by my fingertips, when you can barely afford it. I promise I will try my best and make you proud of me again when I graduate.
Dear M,
Things are so, so different between us. I'm not sure they'll ever be the same again. We have our own separate lives now, and I'm not sure they mix well. I'm sorry for the lack of communication on my part, I hope you don't think I did it on purpose. I just don't think we have that much in common anymore. But if you ever need someone to talk to, or if you ever just fancy a chat, I'll always be here to listen.
Dear J,
I used to be absolutely mad about you. You knew this well. You messed with my head, and made me think you felt the same. You made me hopeful. Then, you really really hurt me. But look at me now. I look at you and am so embarrassed that I ever had feelings for you. I met a guy who treats me like a queen, and is 10 times the man you will ever be. It's a shame, we could have been good friends, but alas, it wasn't to be.
Dear G,
A year and a quarter has already passed. I don't know if it feels like forever or if it feels like nothing. All I know is that it has been amazing. The first few months were so difficult, we saw each other once or twice a month, but we got through it. Every time I got to Heuston and saw you there waiting for me made the tears I cried on the way back home worth it. I know I am sometimes moody or "off", and I'm sorry for every time I've taken my problems out on you. The days we don't see each other, and we only communicate by text, I take you for granted. Which I then kick myself for when I do see you. You mean the absolute world to me, I hit the jackpot when I found you. I love you so much.
Hugs and kisses,
R0 -
Dear x,
It just hasnt got any easier. My life has fallen apart with out you. Im trying my best but I miss you so much.
Id do anything for you. If only you'd let me...0 -
Dear ex best friend,
Thank you so much for completely fúcking me over. I really appreciated everything you did to me, especially making my life a living hell for months.
Do you know how hard college was for me last year? No, I doubt you do.
It was horrible. It felt like my first day of school all over again. . except worse because I knew you and all your "friends" were going to be there to do your worse. Well, you all did really well. Thanks for that. I also really loved the facebook abuse. That was great too.
I wish you could have, for a second even; taken a step back and just seen the effect everything had on me. I was cut up. In bits. And you. . didnt bat an eyelid. Everything you did and said. . hurt like hell. . and still does.
Well, you know what. I had a tough fúcking year but I have come out of it a stronger, better person. Without you, I wouldnt have met so many other amazing people. You were dragging me down, and I am so much better without you.
And for that, I thank you.0 -
My dearest Aunty,
I have so much to repay you for, and I don't think anything will ever be enough.
You loved me at a time when I didn't know what love was; and when a mothers love was never mine you gave me yours. Those years were hard, so hard that I sometimes thought I'd never make it through, but you were always there to push me forward and make sure I came out the other side. I remember our wee routine when I was younger, every Tuesday and Friday we'd walk the 2 miles over to the local shop and get the groceries. Then we'd come home, you'd put on the dinner, and I'd take Granny for her walk around the house. Sometimes I'd sit and comb Granda's hair for a while, he always looked so funny when I put those tiny plaits in - especially since he only had a wee tuft of hair left to start with!As they got older, you did everything you could to make them comfortable, and nursed them until they died. You looked after them, in that way that you seem to look after everyone. I always thought that if I'd ever met Mother Teresa then I'd tell her about you, because if ever there was an angel in my life it's you.
You bought me my first proper bike, you saved up and paid bit by bit for it with your dole money every Friday, so that I'd have it on time for my birthday. Until then, I'd only had hand--me-downs that were always in some way broken, kind of like me I guess, I was always kind of broken - because of the people who brought me here. But you could see that, and bit by bit you always undid their damage, and somehow put me back together.
Do you remember those walks we went on? We'd walk up by my cousins old school, and I'd pick flowers along the way. When we got there, I'd play basketball in the yard, whilst you sat in the sun enjoying this small irregular break from the life you led, the life you led devoted to helping other people. Sometimes we'd walk up to the 'small bridge' (the big one was down the other end of the road), and I'd get so excited at the prospect of walking barefoot in the shallow water underneath it, even in the cold! It was like an adventure, I could pretend I was somewhere else, and travel far away with my thoughts. Maybe you did that too...I wonder where you went....
When my Debs arrived you came with me to buy my dress, I went for the cheaper ones, because I didn't want you to worry about money. But then I tried on this amazing ballgown, and I fell in love with it. It was €190, and I felt so guilty that I didn't want to get it, but you said the important thing was that I was happy. That was typical of you...always making sure that everyone was happy. I found out later that you used money your sister had given you for your birthday to get it for me, that's the kind of person you are, you sacrifice so much for other people. You're the kindest, most amazing person I've ever met, and ever will meet; and having you in my life has made me 10 times the person I'd have been without you to guide my way.
No-one ever thought I'd get to college, the money just wasn't there, and they just didn't care. But you cared, you cared and you encouraged me to try, you showed me that I had a way out. I worked my ass off to get through those few years, and I did it for you, I wanted to make you proud...and you know what? I think I didMy Graduation was the best day of my life, having you sit there and watch as I achieved the one thing we'd always worked so hard towards, and knowing that it meant as much to you as it did to me. I have tears in my eyes as I write this, remembering that moment, because I think it was one tiny step towards repaying you for all that you've done for me...although I know I'll never quite be able to.
Thank you. Thank you for wiping my tears as they fell, and holding my hand when I just wanted to run away. Thank you for eating those apple tarts I made, the rock hard pastry that threatened to break your dentures in half, but somehow always tasted delicious to youThank you for showing me how to smile, when I grew up seeing nothing but pain; for showing me love, when I was surrounded by hate. Thank you for rubbing my belly when it hurt, and mending my heart when it broke...;you always had a plaster ready when I tore open my knee, just like you always had a hug ready when the pain was more than skin deep.
I wouldn't be me if it hadn't been for you. I don't think I'll ever have the words to tell you just how much I love you, but I try to show you every single day, and I'm going to keep trying because words will just never be enough. Please just know that you don't have to worry about me anymore, I'm ok, I got here - and it's all because of you. We did it Aunty, I did it. Thank you x
Grainne that is so beautiful. My God I'm in tears reading that. Please put that in a letter and send it to her. I know you tell her all the time how much she means to you but imagine getting a letter like that? It would mean the world to her.
You've done brilliantly, I'm sure she's the proudest Aunty in the world0 -
Clare Bear wrote: »Grainne that is so beautiful. My God I'm in tears reading that. Please put that in a letter and send it to her. I know you tell her all the time how much she means to you but imagine getting a letter like that? It would mean the world to her.
You've done brilliantly, I'm sure she's the proudest Aunty in the world
Ahh thank you! I'm getting it framed for her birthday0 -
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J,
I'm a bit crap at the game. I don't know how to 'hold back', or 'be a challenge', or 'play hard to get' or not wish for more when I like someone. Maybe I'm a terrible dater, maybe I need to work on my game, maybe I need to take a different approach...but I liked you.
So I let you kiss me. I let you hold me all night. I held your hand and I let you fall asleep in my arms because although I don't really know you, I know you've been through hell this past year and on some level you needed it. I needed it.
I just wish you had texted. I wish I hadn't reached almost 26 years of age without knowing how amazing real intimacy, affection and closeness can feel and since you've moved on with your life, I've never felt so alone. I've been alone forever and yet I've never felt it so acutely as these past few days. I've realized I want someone, maybe not necessarily you...but I want someone to love, to hold, to kiss and to care for. For a second there I wanted it to be you.
I'm sorry about your brother. I'm so sorry for your pain. I'm sorry for not getting the opportunity to know you more, but I accept that this is how it plays out. You've awoken something in me. I'm tired of being the self-sufficient, independent, 'career girl'...when I have so much more to give. I'm tired of shying away from it, neglecting this part of me and shutting myself off from it.
I really hope things work out for you. I'll always remember Sunday night. I'll smile and recount it to friends soon. Once the disappointment subsides. I read too much into it, all these neglected emotions just rushed to the surface when I took your hand. But it really was a pleasure. Thanks for reminding me who I am x0 -
Dear C,
I'm about to do something stupid tonight because you've told me to do it. I feel like an idiot, but I just can't disobey. You've gotten inside my head, and sometimes I wonder if this is a game to you, because it's not, what you are actually messing with is my life. I should stop, I know that, but as always I can give the advice but not take it. I'm craving what ever little bits of attention you'll throw me, because truthfully, that's all I believe I deserve. I've ****ed up, but as long as you keep responding and issuing the commands, I'll keep doing what I'm told.
Dear Everybody else,
I'm not the person you think I am, I'm not strong, I'm not sensible, and I'm not able to constantly look after myself. You were all there for the first week after the break up, but you've all gone now, and when I try to get in contact you're too busy or otherwise engaged. This is when I need you, this is me coming out of the haze of heartbreak and trying to put my life back together, but there's nobody here to help. You've all decided that I'm strong enough to do it alone, when it truth all I feel, when I feel anything at all, is an overwhelming sense of loneliness and lose.
Most of the time I feel so detached from reality that it doesn't matter, and I can look at things objectively, and know that it doesn't make a difference. I'm never really going to be happy, but I at least want the opportunity to try, but you have all abandoned me.0 -
P,
It's just no fun any more, isn't it. I remember when I first found out that you liked me - it was exciting and a bit of a laugh. I didn't dwell too much on it because I knew you had a boyfriend but it made me very happy at the time. Since then things have taken a turn - you seem distant and I'm getting all sorts of mixed signals. I'm crap at these games... they're wasting everyone's time and wrecking my head for one. It used to be that you were someone I appreciated seeing around from time to time; now you're able to make my day and ruin it at the same time.
The truth is: I adore you. I didn't always, but the last few weeks have opened up some not necessarily welcome feelings. I've had unrequited feelings for people before, but this is so much harder: knowing that you might feel the same way but because of one thing or another it probably won't work out. In a sense, I almost wish I'd never found out that you liked me in the first place. Your timing, deliberate or not, has been ridiculously good. Every time I think I'm on the verge of getting over things, something happens that brings me back to the sleepless nights, the uncertainty and the embarrassing self-pity. I'm in bits about all this.
I don't know your boyfriend - I'm sure he's a decent guy. I know the two of you have invested a great deal in one another, and I don't blame you if you stick by him. I feel terrible at the idea of coming between the two of you. Ultimately, I just want you to be happy, and if you're happier with someone else than you would be with me then so be it. I'll live, eventually. It's the uncertainty that's driving me to distraction, though.
To cut a long story short (it's probably a bit too late to say that now, but still) I've got your back. I wish you would talk to me; I can't read your mind. I suspect it would be therapeutic for both of us to chat about all this. In fact, I know it would.0 -
It was just a text. I know you probably read so much into it, but that's all it was - a text. I thought we'd both have moved on by now; after your email I thought maybe we were on ok terms again. I guess not. You could have replied and said well done, or congrats, but no - nothing. What did you think would happen if you replied? That I'd somehow believe it meant we had a chance? We lost our chance long ago. I don't want you back.
Of course it hurts a little to know you're ok without me, that you're getting better now that I'm gone, because I've had to realise that by loving each other all we did was hurt each other even more. I just thought maybe we could start a new chapter where the hurt and pain we caused each other was put in the past where it belongs; where one day we could maybe be friends. So much happened between us, things that I thought I'd never get over, a love that I thought I'd never get over. But, I'm doing that right now, so I guess I was wrong.
You blocked me on facebook, I'm not sure why, but I understand that you felt the need to cut me out completely. That's why I haven't mentioned it to you, it was your decision. But why ignore me? You don't love me anymore, not like you did, so why does it affect you so much? Why do you still care? Why can't we move on from this and look back with a smile on the memories we made, instead of dragging out the drama of the breakdown we encountered.
Things are getting better for you, and you've no idea how happy that makes me. And I know that it scares you, I know you worry that having me in your life again could set you back on that path of ups and downs. I understand that. I just wish we had more than this, more than a passing email once a year, or updates through gossip from friends. I wish we could be friends. After everything we've been through, I wish...I just wish we had more than this.0 -
Dear Madame
I love you so much. Since being with you I have been taut lot of things including Google Chrome and its spell checkerYou have put up with so much stuff from me and I appreciate everything. Lately money has been a down point for me and it sucks. but you have been so good about it. you didn't mind giving all you had to keep us going until worked picked up and paying gigs came in.you are so kind to everyone even people who dont deserve it. when i got a phonecall yesterday saying I had some work I was overwhelmed with happyness.
I promise you now that we will do lots of travelling in the future and even live outside Ireland for a few months just like you want. lately i've been thinking about our future and I'm not afraid to say it out loud. i want everything for us. marriage, babies, a house and ore dogs! i want you to keep at what you doing and dont give up if it makes you happy is all that matters.
I love you always and forever
Ted
To popnfresh
I wanted to say so many things to you but I know it wont count as nothing. youre not and easy person to talk to. i know I was and idiot towards the end in our relationship and i know i hurt you terribly. you were hard to be with, you never trusted me and always bitched and moaned to me about the little things that shouldnt of mattered. after you started looking through my phone and bebo i couldnt take it anymore. I got distant and eventually fell out of love from you. i still wanted your friendship so i kept up the sharade but then I met her. i knew her for so long but didnt see her in that way until then. i fell head over heels in love with her and for that im sorry. i ended up hurtin you both and tried setting it right by doing more silly stuff like askin you back i dont even no why it was stupid just another way to keep your friendship in my life.
the thing that annoys me about you is you constantly moan to people about how horrible i was to you and how i cheated on you but are you forgetting that I only cheated once and you did it several times throughout the relationship. you dont have a right to be mad at me. over the past few years it been hard. stuff has happened but im just dealing it with it. you going around accusing people of stuff they didnt do despite the same thing happening to us were not bragging about it to everyone like you are. remember blake ye found out who it was and whatever crap you have with girl from your home shouldnt have brought in myself or people close to me in it. i just trying to live my life without been blamed for stuff. we never pointed the finger at you.
I hope you have a nice life and get everything you want in life. I am not angry i am not bitter about it. forget the past and move on and that will be it. shame it had to be this way though but what can you do.
Ted.0 -
My love,
I love you with all my heart. I am so grateful and consider myself lucky we get to share our lives. You are kind, funny, sexy and smart.
You are so smart it astounds me that you continually fail to grasp the concept that whites and colours should not go in the wash together. Honestly, it's not difficult! Whites go in their own wash, well away from colourful clothes and your manky sports gear. Washed together the whites become that horrible dirty looking grey.
I love you completely, but if you ruin any more clothes/towels/sheets I may have to kill you.
Your girl0 -
G86 - wow. Beautiful post - had me in floods...0
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To some of my husbands family, there was a time when I would have had so much to say, when I would have loved a chance to vent how we felt when ye kept something secret, something that directly affected our lives and the choices we would have made. Only when ye had dealt with the problems that this secret caused for ye attended councelling and more did ye decide to tell us, ye dealt with it together and left 2 of your siblings out and then left them high and dry to face it on their own. ye had the all clear and were able to move on with yer lives without thought or apology only excuses that didnt ring true, especially seeing as we had initially been told what was happening by a different sibling, but then the rest of ye got together and branded that sibling a liar, who does that?
For years I was full of resentment and hurt for my husband, not anymore I am not angry I believe I learned an important lesson, if the worst does happen I know not to expect anything from ye or count on ye for anything I truely believe ye did me a favour because it would have been much harded to have found out yer true colours if our situation ended up in a worst case senario and we actually needed and trusted ye even more than we did then.0 -
Dear Former Employer,
I would just like to say a big huge thank youThank you so much for harrassing me to such a degree that it affected my health, made me question my own intelligence, and eventually made me tell you where to stick your stupid job (not that I worded it like that but you and I both knew it was what I meant!) and set up my own business. If I had had a nice job where I wasn't blamed for every error (normally yours btw), shouted at, had to listen to your disgusting comments that I *think* you thought were harmless flirting but actually made me feel ill, and all the rest of the sh*te I put up with I might never have had the nerve (or need) to leave, but because you used me as a scapegoat for your inability to operate a successful business and made me feel like a worthless stupid little girl I HAD to get out of the there, and for that I thank you.
Every morning that I get up early, every night that I work late, every meal I miss because I'm too busy or every time I curse paperwork, when I get shaky with nerves over a new project, or when someone praises my work I thank God you treated me so badly, because it spurs me on to be nicer and more successful than you will ever be, and to be my own boss just to avoid having another boss like you. People can read your desperation, greed and general condescension every time you open your mouth, you might want to work on that if you want to deal with the public every day!
I dream of the day I bump into you and can tell you to F right off, like I always wanted to do. But hey, I'll settle for the look on your face the day you realised you made a girl half your age cry, and that you were losing an honest and reliable employee because of your own actions.
GFY,
Spadina0 -
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Dear Granny,
It's hard to believe four years have passed now since you went to heaven. There are a few things I never got around to say to you before you left and I regret not heading over with mom to the hospice more often that last year when I was in 6th year.
Well things that summer turned out to be pretty surreal as i'm sure you could see from up there....but even though we ended up going to America so soon after the funeral, I think it helped us being with family over there. It made things somewhat easier and I hope you enjoyed the stories we shared about your life.
Firstly, I think Mom misses you a lot, in fact, when you passed, I really worried about her, she wasn't herself for a long time after and I think it is only in the last year she has got better. We miss you though and when Mom and I go on our evening walks together, we often talk about you as if it were just yesterday. She loved you and being the only girl in the family was so close to you. Since then, mom and I have become so close and from what I can see, our relationship mirrors what you and her had in the past. She is a terrific mom and wife and I'm sure you are proud of her up there.
Thanks for all your guidance when you were with us, you were the perfect granny and babysitter!You spolit me rotten and I know I was the grand-daughter who could do no wrong in your eyes!I loved going to your house for sleep overs where we would watch films and eat loads of sweets and walk to that jewellery shop the next morn to look at the bracelets. I inevitably came home from Granny's with a new bracelet. You were too kind!
You were talented and artistic. That last painting you were doing in the hospice before you passed was probably one of our most favourite-the bridge over running water?The staff in the hospice which you had won over with your upbeat attitude also loved it, so much so that they framed it and it now hangs on one of the corridors there...they used it in the Christmas card designs that year too. Everyone loved it.
I remember telling you about my deb's dress that I had got for the October debs...but you didn't want to hear anymore when I started to talk about it. I'm sorry for seeming hurt or offended, I only now realise you knew you were not going to be around to see me in it and it hurt you too much to think about that. Well you didn't miss much!The debs was highly over-rated and I can't stand the sight of the dress anymore!!I hope you prefer the ones I have worn to college balls in the meantime....I think you would have really liked that navy one I wore last year!
And I never got to thank you and let you know how much you influenced my life. I worked hard that year and I did get medicine. It was 3 weeks after you passed and Mom and I cried when we checked my CAO offers on the computer. We cried because we were delighted but also, I cried (and i think mom did too) because we were sad you were not there to see it. You knew how much I wanted medicine and how hard I had worked. I regret not taking time off especially in the last few months of 6th yr to just go with mom to visit you but I just wanted you to know, that I think seeing you go through your illness, spending time with you in hospitals from ty etc really influenced me in making my decision. Well I hope your proud, there'll be another doctor in the family.
I have been meaning to thank you for everything you did for me for a while but this week in particular I have been thinking of you a lot. I started clinical rotations in the hospitals and am now properly spending time with patients. I see you in every Granny and cancer patient I go to take a history from and am reminded as to why I am there.
I hope you are looking down on me and will guide me over the next few years. Thank you for being a wonderful granny and mom.
Love you always and we will meet again one day,
bo x0 -
Dear x
I am very confused about what you think/feel. I am cr*p at gameplaying and implication. Good at being honest and direct though. Am used to being in a situation where you can acknowledge/say anything, and it is OK. You just talk it through. I wish that you and I could do that too.
Miss you v much, everyday.0 -
Dear eating disorder,
I'm so tired of you. I'm so bored of you. Nothing is ever good enough for you. Fat, thin or 'average', you taunt me and belittle me and make me feel about as worthless as a piece of dirt on your shoe, despite the fact that I've devoted my life to pleasing you. You, the antagonistic and ultimately unpleasable son of a b1tch that hasn't given me a break since I was nineteen years old.
Oh how you've humiliated me. I've stolen food, I've ransacked bins and housemates' shelves, I've wasted hundreds on supermarket hops, I've put myself in physical danger, I've over-exercised and under-slept, I've isolated myself from the world, I've sat in public toilets and stuffed my face, I've spent hours crouched over the bowl trying to get your voice out my head so I could get the fukc out of your hellish little world and get on with my life, and yet you always find me.
You've changed your guise over the years. First food was the enemy and even mere skin and bone was too much, too fat, too unbearable to face in the mirror. There weren't enough miles on the planet to run off the hatred you had for me.
Then food became the 'friend', a toxic friendship that controls my life and tries to ruin every experience that should be enriching me. And the scales just serve as a reminder of how right you were all along. I'm fat, I'm a failure, and it doesn't matter how much good I do, how successful I am in my career, how hard I work or how much I help other people...I am worthless. You've changed your guise but your tune is the same. I'll never be good enough. I get it. You win. Why can't that be enough for you?
I know better than you. I've known better than you for as long as I've known you, yet I don't know how to live without you. Who am I without this need to destroy myself with binges and exercise and diets and self-destructive thoughts?
Sometimes I look in the mirror or catch a glimpse of myself and am taken aback at how normal I look, sometimes even...how pretty I can look or how anyone looking could think I am just another girl. When I've got this monster living inside me. Waiting to violate my person and humiliate me over something that is so simple and straightforward to most other people...food. Fuel. Energy. Pleasure. Enjoyment. I don't even know how to eat anymore. And yet I have to. The ultimate humiliation.
What scares me most though, is how I've accepted you. I've resigned myself to the fact that you'll always be there, waiting on every corner. All the people out there who would kill to have the good health that I have and yet I let you abuse it, I let you dictate my mood for the day, every day of my life and I don't know how to let you go. Where would you go, where would you hide? I don't know where you begin and I end. I don't know how to 'be' without you. I thought I'd have outgrown you at this stage, but every time I move forward you're one step ahead of me.
I'm just so tired and I'm so sad. I'm lonely and trapped by looking 'normal' and every selfish, deranged, obsessive, neurotic action you force upon me I have to take the slack for because I don't have the gaunt, sickly appearance I once had that at least made me look like I wasn't responsible for my actions. You've made me hate myself. You've made romance impossible. You've made happiness impossible. You've made me embarrassed to be me.
I'm not going to plead with you. I'm just going to have to find the energy to fight you, and I don't even know where that's going to come from. I'm nearly too scared to fight for fear of letting myself down, again. I'm not sure I can take it. But it's my only option, and you've taken the p1ss for long enough. All I can do is strive to make tomorrow a better day. I really hope tomorrow is a better day.0 -
Well C. I guess you won't talk to me any more about us. It's like you don't remember what we had or how wonderful all the stuff used to be. You only remember the crap we went through, (selective memory on your part) you say you just boxed it away. I went through crap when you broke from me. I just couldn't function, but you got on with it and two months later you had replaced me with another. It lasted till just January then you had another girl for a couple of months, and she left you too. They all left you, bar me. Am I the fool here?! I understand why you won't meet me, as the feelings would resurface and we would most likely be back together again, but you don't want that. It is obvious, you don't want to take the chance of us again. What a shame. You have missed out on something great and beautiful. I loved you so much and it still hurts even to this day. I carry your heart with me everywhere. You were such a wonderful guy and you changed my life. I look back now and am filled with happiness and utter sadness at the same time. I have never met or known anyone like you before or since.
You have changed now and fill your days in pursuit of a relationship, another's heart. You want to have my shoes filled and replace me over and over again. You did find the one who loved you no matter what and that was me. I could have put up with anything, cos I loved you that much. You obviously didn't feel that way. They say true love never dies. Well my love for you hasn't but time has eased the pain and I do get on with my life.
I wrote you a poem but I shall not send it to you as you do not deserve to know its contents now. I am sad to say that your heart went away never to come to me again. I do thank you for change you brought about in my life, and I will never forget you.
One final thing C. Remember this and remember what I said. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we0mk_J0zyc
I wish you well
M0 -
Dear B
I love you. I've known you most of my life. I've watched you grow and become a man. A most interesting and impressive man.
You are kind and funny and good at fixing/making things. You've done all night-time care for our babes, all nappies and all household washing. You are a feminist and interested in all things political and keep me on my toes about the ideas I express.
It's good studying with you because when you laugh at my first draft I go back and make it better. You are using humour to help me move to high distinctions and I love that.
You are so different from me. You love classical music. You know rock music inside out. I hardly know who AC/DC are - and when I told you so, you lost the power of speech. The quality of sound from your system is incredibly important to you while I couldn't give a damn. You read for enjoyment books on quantum mechanics with hundreds of pages of equations while numbers make me anxious. You are a member of economics forums and audio forums and laugh about what they say/think. And make useful, thought-provoking and funny contributions. I angst about my forum experiences and you listen, give advice and comfort me - so supportive.
You are grumpy and uncommunicative in the mornings. You don't respect personal space and knock me and the little ones without noticing or saying sorry. And when you are angry you can be rough when you pick up the little ones. And it's not OK.
You are my darling. I am so glad that we chose each other.0 -
Dear x
I feel very intensely about you, in a way I can't quite understand. I always care about you, whether we are currently talking or not. I am always interested in how you are going.
I try to give you space as a way of working through our conflicts. I don't know how it works for you. Apart from the satisfaction of knowing that I am respecting your preferences, and being adult in that respect, it is not satisfying for me at all. I like to talk about conflicts openly and work them through and I can't seem to get into that rhythm with you. It's disappointing.
We have so many conflicts!! I know I am a difficult woman, but am I that difficult? Is it all me?
I want to get on with you, and chat about nothing stuff. It is peaceful and relaxing and sweet, in a way I love.
I try to find pathways through the dilemma you present. It means that I end up thinking of weird stuff, like becoming a Mormon. This is challenging, since I am sure that you wouldn't want to be a Mormon and I don't believe in God anyway. But I do think that fine minds, with a commitment to solutions, can find ways through.
Do you want to find a pathway through? I simply don't know. I know that I do. My husband says that I have enough love in me to love multiple people and one love does not take away from another. That was hard for him to see and say and he is right.
But monogamy is important to me, and being honourable to my vows. And a good model for my children.
So friendship becomes my backstop.
Blanche D'Apuget wrote an essay called On Longing. She waited 30 years to marry our ex-PM, Bob Hawke, and he rejected her in the middle to pursue his political ambitions.
But she and they as a couple are a model of pathways through. They are very happy now, and have been for a long time.
Do strange interactions, intense ones, always end in marriage and happiness together? No, but they are special nonetheless and should be nurtued, not rejected.
My love for my family does not detract from my feelings for you. They are simply different.0 -
Dear New Housemate,
Yes we are friends first, but if you think it is acceptable to move into my house and get drunk to the point of being aggro at me and starting fights you have another thing coming. There is no point in talking to when your drunk, and also no point in talking to you sober. Your "I was so drunk last night I don't remember anything" excuse is wearing thin. You need help. Sort out your life, and don't take your frustrations out on me just because I'm not willing to play your petty games.
C0 -
That was my slice of pizza0
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Dear N,
Why cant I let you go ?
Ive known you over 10 years now. I was there when you got with your ex, split up with her, met new girl, got married, had your babies and lost your brother.... and ive been there, in the background, all the time....... having s*x with you.
You have been txting me constantly for the past 2 weeks wanting to meet up again and I havent replied. I hope I can stay strong this time, you have no idea how I feel about you.
D x0 -
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Mum,
Every time I come home from abroad I get excited but then after spending a few days with you I regret coming, soon I might stop coming home at all. My brother has already moved out and never visits and my sister rarely visits either!
You disgust me! What do you do that I dislike so much?
1) You smoke in every single room and the house stinks
2) You are lazy! You do nothing when you come home from work and order everyone around. You call me into the room that you are in to make you a drink or to pull the blinds down when you are right beside them!
3) You moan when dad yawns in the evening even though he is on the go from 6am to when he goes to bed! When I mention that you say "ye and of course I don't do anything" STOP MAKING IT ABOUT YOU!!
4) You leave the bathroom door wide open when you are going to the toilet!
5) You tell me that you need to do a s*it / wee and it grosses me out, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!!! It is disgusting!
6) You are overweight and eat all the time! You keep asking if you have lost weight well you haven't! someone who sits down all day eating crap and not exercising does not lose weight!
7) You constantly fight with me!
8) Your breath is disgusting, I can't stand being near you.
I never thought I would be saying this about you mum but it is true! I have no interest in coming home to see you and will only be doing so for the sake of the rest of the family and my friends:(:(
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