Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people *MOD NOTE POST #1*

beks101

Of all the conversations we had. All the late night heart-to-hearts, the heated debates, the revelations, the delights and the sorrows and the endless chattering.
We never spoke about death. Your death. You dying. Suddenly, prematurely.
And I have this pressing, urgent, desperate need to know how you would process all of this. In that brilliant head of yours. What would you think, what would you feel? Were you at peace? Or were you indignant, irate, horribly inconvenienced and just completely pissed at your impending demise?
'Ah, fcuk sake!'
I can imagine you making a joke about that.
God, you loved your life. You loved it too much to lose it.
Were you aware at all?

Because I just can’t stop thinking, ‘you didn’t know it was coming’.
You didn’t know, you didn’t know, you didn’t know.
The last time I met you, you had four months to live. And you had no idea.

And all the small moments.
Watching you play with that little kid in the aftermath of our friend’s wedding.
The odd, colourful socks that were your trademark.
Heading out for a cigarette with you and having the same old ‘I don’t actually smoke, you know’ conversations.
Sitting across from you on the bus after a few hectic, boozy days. Secretly watching you engaged in that book, wrapped up in your own little world of knowledge and knowing and learning and thinking, ‘that’s why he's so smart. I need to read more.’

And now those small moments, those human moments that everyone takes for granted will never happen to you anymore. There is no ‘you’ anymore. And that thought alone seems to completely degrade and de-base the very essence of who you were - it seems to undermine you completely - and yet it’s just a fact, a cold and disturbing reality.
That’s. Just. Life.

And I don’t want that to define the way I view the world, because I always believed so strongly in goodness. Goodness always found me; I’ve been so very lucky even in my most unlucky moments.
But there’s just no goodness in this.
There's no lesson, there's no reason, no justice, no natural order.

There is no 'you' anymore.

I wonder where that book is now. Probably lying under a pile in your room somewhere, along with your smokes and several hundred pairs of odd socks. Just lying there.
Like you, now.

I will miss you for the rest of my life.

Jenneke87

That Beks seriously brought tears to my eyes......

princess-lala

Ok universe,

You've been fighting with me for about two years now.

Lets be friends, we can do lots of cool, fun and exciting things together if you just gimme a break.

Health wise we're getting back on track after a year to and from hospitals.

Mentality wise we're doing awesome.

Financially not so much, we can work on this once you let me get this job.

I've always seen myself in a role like this. I'm ready for a hands off approach.

Lets do this, together would be better than me having to fight you every step of the way.

I need this break!!

Kk thanks

LegacyUser

Sometimes I think you don't want to talk to me at all.

LegacyUser

D,

I'd love to know why. Why did you do this? I know that in the grand scheme of things it wasn't much, it wasn't an awful thing to do, but it was big to me. Maybe you didn't know, though, how it would be for me. You wouldn't have known that my self-esteem was at rock bottom, that it had been years since I had any physical contact with a man, years since I had even flirted or felt a frisson of desire, years since I had felt attractive, or wanted or desired. I thought from your behaviour that those things were changing for me, I began to feel that excitement, those butterflies, began to feel that a man actually wanted me, allowed myself get my hopes up... The night of the kiss, sure I couldnt sleep for hours afterwards, I floated into work the next day, the same thing two nights later... God, I was like a teenager. And then... a gradual cooling off, not silence but nothing like what it was. Why? Why did you go so far and then stop? Why start something you didn't intend to continue? Was it all a bit of fun or did you at one stage think things might progress further? Was it just to see if you could? Given our respective roles, was there some macho power thing to see if you could?? I thought better of you, I didn't think you were one of those who only wanted me for my position. I'm disappointed and deflated. Maybe in time I'll thank you for reawakening my desires, but right now I'm just a little too hurt and disappointed to do that.

Corkgirl210

Its time to sort this out once and for all, don't you think?... I deserve and need some answers.. I promise I shall be compassionate and non-judgemental. Its your turn to get in touch, there is no ill feeling .. how could there be? We are the only one who understand each other and this process as we have experienced it together... Your pain has been mine, and mine yours...

JillyQ

I am so fed up and annoyed at you right now you can go shove it now

stop animal cruelty

come SAC, get out of the self pity mode...better off without him.

m,

lts become pretty clear you used and tryed to control me. your still in my head, but lv more power now...lm having more better days than bad and thats how l plan to keep it. l can just picture you laughing and bitchy bout me to your friends, tho l did nothing wrong. you disappointed me big time. l feel like a fool for what l thought of you and how l felt. how was l so stupid? lm gonna get past this, you mighten think l will....but l will, cause your not worth it.

l never got the chance to say it, but fcuk you.

Naid23

Well everything can just go and fck right off!!
God, allah, buddha .. Whatever the hell is up there- i've just had enough at this stage! Please just leave me alone and go and pick on someone your own size!!

musicalme

Dear my best friend of 20 years...

Wish you hadn't got with your current girlfriend... you've changed so much and I miss my best friend terribly. Its like looking at a stranger. I've never been so disrespected by you in my life. You would never have hurt me and thats why Im so heart broken. When I need you most to help me through a difficult time im invisable.

... New best friends don't grow on trees... unlucky for me

handbagmad

P
I really do like you, but im scared to let my guard down, as much as I try, and believe me I do try there's a big part of me wants to keep some distance. I've grown accustomed to being on my own. Its going to be very hard to change that but just have patience please if you push me, ill clamp up. I hope the weekend has a good outcome..........

O.
You made me the above insecure person. I didn't feel love from you for so long before the end of our"relationship" that now im frightened of it. I now always think there's a hidden agenda.
I hope I can fix the damage you done.

musicalme

Dear Dad

Thanks for just being so awesome!

TommieBoy

Please, please stop contacting me. Your words hurt too much, and you will never know (not that you care0.

sullivlo

C,

I have absolutely no idea what to say to you.

Your determination to fight this bastard of a disease is inspirational. You're determined to see this through for your boys and that is admirable.

I wish there was more that I could do to help you. It's hard being three flights away at this time of year. Phone conversations just won't cut it over the coming months.

bscm

Karma, thanks a million for helping me get the job offer and some extra interviews for even better positions.

But could ya funnel some of that good luck into other areas of my life, like my final year project or finding a fella? I never ask you for much, but splitting some of that good fortune across the board would be great

princess-lala

I love you.

I know how hard it is for you being in there 5 weeks now. Please hang on a few days til they decide what they are gonna do with you!

I love you so so much and want you around for a long long time xxx

Penny Tration

You added my boyfriend, who you've never met, on facebook, and asked him to meet up with you to get to know each other.


and you wonder why the fcuk I'm avoiding you these last few months?!

concentrate on your own boyfriend and leave mine the fcuk alone! The reason you haven't met him is because he doesn't want to meet you and has cancelled every time I've tried to arrange an introduction!

fcuk off, you bloody creep.

TommieBoy

I have no words. Texting you is like talking to a brick wall. You have no clue about women in general, not to mention me. I blame myself for sending out mixed signals in person. Not that you noticed! I don't know why I bother trying to communicate with you. It's always frustrating ... and your replies of endless platitudes make me want to gag.

sullivlo

Dear insomnia,

Kindly PFO out of my life.

Best regards,

Sullivlo.

Dark Phoenix

Dear backpain please f**k off. I am such an active busy person that it is killing me to have to move so slowly and wince everytime i walk There are many people out there who love to sit around doing nothing active, go and bother one of them instead as I cant afford to keep fixing you.

Dear self, stop forgetting to take the joint supplements you muppet.

dear creep, I feel genuinely sorry for your girlfriend. if you have so little respect for her that you feel the need to constantly pester other women by text and asking them to meet up do her a favour and break up with her. while I'd never go there I'd imagine other women might and surely if thats what you want she deserves to be with someone else who will treat her better!

Gunslinger92

A,

Sometimes, you hear a piece of news, and it makes you thankful for the immaterial, mundane, worthless **** in your life that you think are problems.

Hearing of your passing this morning was one of those moments for me. We graduated together 8 days ago. It was the happiest I've ever seen you. We posed for some group photographs together.

And now.. you're gone? Just.. gone? A whole life ahead of you to live, and its.. gone.
I don't know what to think, or how to feel. I just know that I'm sorry.

Sorry I used to treat you like ****. I copped on last year, but still, at the time I was old enough to know better.

I'm sorry for you, your family, your friends. Their lives will never be the same.

You were a lovely person. Kind, caring, generous. Rest in peace.

The good die young, eh?

stop animal cruelty

^ very sad, RIP A.

DuchessduJour

I'm too young to be this bitter. All of my anger at you is only hurting me, but I don't know how to get over it. I want to be in a place where I genuinely wish you well and move on to find my own happiness. Why are you blocking the path, even after all this time?

stop animal cruelty

so ya, still can't get you out of my head.

x Purple Pawprints x

Stop going through my Facebook page and resurrecting photos I posted months ago. It's sad and creepy. And you're not fooling me with those sympathy status updates. You don't care about the people involved, you're using them to get attention for yourself and to make everyone think you're a wonderful, caring person. My brother was 21 this year and he never got so much as a text from you and you spend half your time posting 'heartfelt' messages about people you don't even know? You're pathetic.

beks101

Hey work,

I don't work Christmas.
Not because I'm precious, because I've worked enough of them to last a lifetime and my family matters more to me than the news.
I gave you three month's notice and I'm not changing my flights.
Don't be an as5hole because to be frank, I'm already at the brink.

Seasons Greetings,

B.

writer_lady170

Dear me,

you're ringing a radio station in an hour to possibly win a prize, so so nervous:o you can do it though! don't forget to breathe

Love,

from writer

x Purple Pawprints x

Go away. Why are you ringing my mother four times before 10am? Sort out your own sh1t.

angeldelight

I love you babe, thanks for always being right beside me every step of the way

Zanablue

M. I am so so tired of your emotional blackmail, it makes me so depressed to think I could have another ten years of this ****. I do love you and i will always be there but I have to have my own life too.