Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people *MOD NOTE POST #1*

Sunny Dayz

Stop saying that my OH is under the thumb, that he's boring since we got married.


Just because he isn't saying how high when you say jump! When you want to do something and we already have made plans, that doesn't make him a dry $h1te, no fun, under the thumb etc! It just means we don't have to do everything with you. That we make our own plans and spend time together doing things as a family. You have your own family! Unfortunately you whinge and moan enough to get your own way and I can't be listening to it.

Rogueish

A bit of appreciation would be nice...

Eeden

Looking back 29 years ago today more in anger than in sorrow....!

JumpShivers

I WANT to be there for you.

Do you want me there, cuz your actions are saying otherwise.

I'm extremely hurt by your responses. But do you care?

mcgiggles

I wish you would stop ringing me just to tell me who has died of cancer this week, or who's about to die. Its depressing the **** out of me. Its horrible to say that I don't care because I do, its not nice when anyone dies, but I don't know these people, so I don't need to hear the ins and outs of them and their deaths. I'd rather you told me about stuff that's actually going on in your life, which you never do, then you get annoyed that I don't know whats going on with you.

twill

Please God, don't let this be positive, let there be some margin of error or let it be a matter of interpretation. Don't let my mother have this awful, incurable disease. Don't put this on her after everything she's been through already. For goodness sake, give her a break for once.

Please.

SmallTeapot

Sometimes I wonder why we grew apart and how it happened, but I guess that's how friendships sometimes go.

I suppose it's for the best. I definitely don't miss the way you used to try and intentionally compete with me (one-upmanship).... And how you used to always talk about the amazing things in your life and not really give a toss about what I was up to.

I hope you're doing good now, best of luck to you in the future.

If we ever cross paths again, I'm sure we will have good banter once more - picking right up from where we left off - but we will both know, deep down in our hearts, we outgrew each years ago...






(Cool thread idea btw )

Mozzeltoff

You're an absolute git if there ever was one. You can't be bothered doing your own job but god help someone else if they over look something slight, you're straight on their case about it. And the way you speak to other people is absolutely disgusting. How you're a superior is beyond me..

You're a knob jockey.

stop animal cruelty

I just have to vent here.

Fcuk. I cant handle all this. Life is just still ****e. All this reading, all this thinking.... Just everything im doing to try improve my crap emotional problems is becoming too much. I need a break. Im losing a friend, yep yet again ( of course im the common denominator). There's just too much going on in my head. Why did i get landed in this house with these people they call "family".

Im still scared. I don't know what to do. I keep going around in circles. I wish things were just normal.

Sunny Dayz

And we're back to this again! Me left to do everything. You really just don't bother! Of course everything will get sorted out, I'll bloody do it! It's not that you're lazy, you just don't think! I regularly hear "oh, I didn't think" - well start thinking! Start being proactive, or at the very least reactive.

B00!

Can't I just have one afternoon off without relentless texts of "what are you doing?", "do this, do that", "where are you, why arent you answering me quick enough?"...

Give me a break already!

Telluric

Hey.

I saw a photo of you the other day but you didn't look like 'you'. You look good, though, you seem happy, and healthy. You weren't very much of either when I knew you. I guess neither of us were. I wish I could go back to those years and tell myself to walk away, instead of walking back so many times when we insisted on continuing to break each other. I guess I'm just older now - wiser. I didn't understand your rage or why you turned on me so badly, when I felt I was the one most wronged, but it's not something I've thought about in a long time now.. until today.

And I'm not angry or sad or any of those things. I don't want you back because I never really had you, and I don't want you to tell me that you're sorry when you don't understand why you should have anything to be sorry for. I don't want those things because I don't need those things. That's not where my sense of self comes from anymore. But it was a long time. A long time of ups and downs and merry-go-rounds with brief intermissions of the parts of you that made me hang on for more. I'm choosing to hang on to the fun times. The laughs and the smutty jokes; the drinks and the shenanigans; the way you'd wind me up and I'd fall for it every single time. And that one time - that one time, when we lay on that sofa and you made me feel as if maybe you did feel something after all.

That's what I'm choosing to remember about you. That's who you'll always be to me, because I'd never want you to feel like anything less when I know you can be so much more. I don't hate you and I never loved you, but I shared that time with you, and I just wanted you to know it wasn't wasted. We might have brought out the very worst in each other then, but those memories can ensure we bring out the best in each other now - by learning from the chaos that once was.

x Purple Pawprints x

Things are so different now. We are not weaker than your generation were. There aren't more suicides because people aren't as strong. There were suicides when you were younger, they were swept under the rug and nobody every talked about it. That's why you didn't hear about it. I don't know why you keep having this conversation with everyone you meet. Just stop. I've been home for a week and I've heard you have this conversation with four different people. I'm meant to be home enjoying my holidays and you keep talking about people that have died naturally or by their own hand. Should I be worried that you keep talking about this?

Lavinia

dear life.. if you could explain to me where is the sense in dying of my sister's son at the age of 25, i would truly appreciate it.. as i cannot see it at all.. some deaths i just cannot understand, some people who were truly the salt of the earth, to die so young.. too young,, for nothing, for no reason at all.. i've no words for that nonsense...............................

LegacyUser

I still love you.

B00!

E - Refresh my memory, why didn't I marry you back then? The reasons seems so... unclear now. Seeing you now and looking back, I could picture my life happily loving you. What a fool am I. She is a lucky one. How does that song go? "(s)he must do something that I didn't do, whatever (s)he's doing, it looks good on you. You look so good in love... I wish, you still wanted me"

Three Strikes means I am Out. I wonder... will I ever learn?

GoF - A fourth chance at this...... please? (if only I wouldn't eff it up)

La.de.da

Dearest body, I'd love some energy to feel normal. It's very tough not to give into feeling down, even though everything seems like climbing mount everest at the moment.

I hope this change all goes ok and we can move on with our lives properly.

B00!

e - please please stop talking about her, it hurts too much right now.

pew

Just stop. I can't bear listening to the negativity.

I hate people, I want to be alone, I want to distance myself from people, I should go to counselling.

Then just ****ing do it and stop bringing me down.

I ask you time and time again, do you want to stop talking, just say it and I will. No you say I like talking to you.

Why do you talk to me? Do you feel sorry for me? Do you think you have to?

You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to.

Yeah we had our fun but you don't want me, which I accepted, so what's the deal with talking all day everyday?

I don't get it. I sound crazy, really insane.

You are a really likeable guy but I really want to punch you in the face sometimes.

LegacyUser

K,

Where did it go wrong? Maybe I'm totally out of practice at this, but I thought it was going great. That's why I'm so surprised by your actions. 'Out of left field', I think is the phrase I'm looking for. I'm crushed. I'm disappointed. Most of all, I'm sad. Why did you do what you did?

Daisy78

Please go away. Please. You think you are being nice to me but I don't want it, I don't want you trying to strike up conversation with me at every opportunity, inviting me to nights out, sitting beside me at coffee break. Just leave me alone. I'm not your ego boost, and you will never redeem yourself in my eyes after your behavior. Just go away.

Makapakka

Please.. please just sleep peacefully *exhausted*

ivytwine

I hate that we don't talk anymore. But I know I can't change it.

LegacyUser

It seems that hard work counts for nothing in this place. On one hand, you tell me I'm a great employee, while on the other you're steadily making my conditions worse. Do you even realise you're pushing me out of the job? You'll notice when I resign and no-one picks up the slack...

LynnGrace

Please don't give me that nonsense, thank you. I know when I am being patronised, and believe me, I don't appreciate it. I had to point out recently that I was not getting the service I am paying for. I think the message got through. And if it didn't, my response to today's missive should do it. :pac:

misstearheus

God,

Very trivial here but please let tomorrow be fine for a few hours of the day so that all the Washing I hung out today will be dry!


MercyBuckets,
Me.

pew

Give me a ****ing break.

misstearheus

It worked! :pac::D:pac::pac:

LegacyUser

I HAVE to get this off my chest so it's something I "want to say" anonymously to just anyone who wants to read really I guess.

I am madly, crazily, uncontrollably infatuated with my boyfriend's friend and it's driving me insane.

Been with my boyfriend since a young teenager and I have never cheated in all our many years together.

We have a lot of problems in our relationship but for the most part we get on well and I do love him.

I don't think I'm in love with him though and it sounds mad to be saying this after so many years together but I don't know if I've ever really been 'in' love with him. He's all I've ever known because we started dating when I was so young and I always liked to think we'd be together forever so put up with a lot and spent so many years trying to 'fix' him thinking that then I would be entirely happy and would no longer have this question of being 'in' love with him or not.

I love him so much as a friend and person and never want to hurt him in a million years, but over the last few years I've really begun to question how compatible we are as a couple. I regularly find myself feeling that there is something massive missing and all I can describe it is as a hole of some sort.

It's nothing physical that's the problem. I think he's nice looking, he's even very good in bed but for some reason despite all this I very rarely want to sleep with him but always do anyways to make the effort and try to keep our relationship going happily, and like I said he's good there so not putting him down in any way, it's just I never have that initial urge to actually want any of it. I have always felt this way with him it's not something new. I used to put it down to me being completely inexperienced, then when I got older I thought for years that maybe I just naturally have a very low sex drive maybe, but with the feelings I've been having lately about his friend I no longer think this is the case.

There is so much about my boyfriend's personality I love too and when we are together I do genuinely feel a strong love and affection for him, but it's a bit like a loyalty, friendship and protective feeling of love I have for him.

There are other parts of his personality that makes me feel we are incompatible too though. He can be selfless in some ways and does good things for me, but there is a sort of natural selfish streak that runs through him too. I don't want to go into too much detail here but all of the time, he puts his own wants first at the expense of my mental happiness. I mean to the extent that I feel soul destroyed and he knows this. I think most of that is addiction driven or at least that's the excuse I make for it.

He has a quite rude, abrupt and sometimes aggressive nature that doesn't gel well with my personality.

He never talks about feelings or emotions if it involves him in any way and when I try to talk to him he will often shut me down or force the topic be changed angrily. I've actually tried to break up with him citing our lack of compatibility and spark like I'm saying here but he reacted so upset to it I was shocked and took it all back again.

I've known his friend since I got with my boyfriend, so a very long time. We would never usually have seen a huge amount of each other though, just the occasional catch up, few nights out or whatever. I've always liked the friend as a person, thought he was a sound fella and everything. Over the years there was 2 incidents that happened in my life that really made me notice this friend more. Again I don't want to go into detail here at risk of being identifiable, but I will just say I noticed this man had such a kind and caring streak in him. His kindness and goodness of heart really stood out to me. I never thought too much into any of it, but would have just then liked him extra in a friendly type of way, like saw him as one of my boyfriend's mates who I had a particular soft spot for because thought he was such a nice guy, but again we didn't see each other all the time so it was never something I dwelt on.

This year something has changed. Due to particular circumstances I now see this man several times a week usually in the company of my boyfriend too, but there have been times where we've been alone, all completely innocent stuff like having a cup of tea or quick chat in the house when my boyfriend was on the way back anyways, or driving around in the car together on a spin places, but there's been a few nights we've ended up chatting together with a few drinks on us when my boyfriend wasn't there. Completely unintentional and unplanned just happened to meet him when I've been out with my own friends. We've never kissed and neither of us has ever even initiated a conversation or made suggestion of anything along those lines, it's like we know that would be completely wrong, but I honestly have never felt chemistry like it the times we get to just chat together without the presence of my boyfriend. Even on our nights out together including my boyfriend I have to really watch myself because my boyfriend actually pulled me on it one night and said I looked very cosy with said friend. We hadn't touched each other or flirted or anything, my boyfriend could just observe how easy we chatted and interacted together. With a few drinks in me I hadn't even realised that our bit of good chemistry might be obvious, so I just apologised to my boyfriend denied there was anything to worry about, and now make a conscious effort to be a little bit more distant when boyfriend is there.

I cannot explain well the way I'm feeling. It's not just a physical thing, he is physically attractive to me but so is my boyfriend and lots of people so it's not just that. I thought at first that maybe it was just some sort of weird crush I developed and it would pass very quickly but this has being going on for something like 8 or 9 months now and if anything I've just grown more and more attracted to him. He had being going through a ****storm in his own life and we've talked about this a few times. He's so open with his feelings and I love this about him, I could talk to him forever. Aside from serious stuff he makes me laugh, I love his observations about people and situations and his sense of humour. I love how he can always make me smile and even just his arrival and presence cheers me up if I had been feeling down. I love how caring and kind and generous he is. There's just such a strong natural decency that runs through him that just comes so naturally to him that maybe not everybody would pass much notice to or find significant but I notice it.

I notice when he asks me if I'm feeling ok when nobody else does. I notice when he ignored my boyfriends selfish argument of just doing something (that he knew I would hate) and actually rang me first to run it by me to see if I would be ok with something and then being completely sound about me saying no to the plan, whilst my boyfriend just complained about him even asking me first. I notice the look of annoyance that sweeps over his face when my boyfriend is being a dick and the understanding looks he gives me. I notice that he never just thinks of himself, he is so considerate and generous to everybody in so many little ways. Little things mean a lot to me and I also notice that none of this is ever forced with him. It's just his nature to be decent and is something I knew about him before I even developed strong crush.

I love his fun loving attitude to life but that he also is capable of being responsible when he needs to be. I love that he is never aggressive or picks fights and is someone I feel completely at ease around. I've mentioned it already but his openness is something I really love. I've never met any man who can talk so freely with me about things that are bothering him, about feelings and things and to also be such a good listener in return too. But even with the most negative situations or things, he can talk through but end on a positive or funny note somehow.

I can't stop thinking about him most of the time. The slightest touch of his hand on mine, or even just standing in close proximity if we're alone for even just a few minutes, or when I look into his eyes when just talking or else even from across the room it's like I have to break my eyes away cos I feel like I might either melt or blurt out my feelings, his cute smile and the way we smile at each other and exchange looks all the time or have a giggle together, friendly hugs that I don't wanna let go off, all these little things give me all them cliche feelings of heart beating fast and that feeling of 'butterflies' in my stomach but there's more to those feelings too. I actually feel HAPPY when I'm with him. Like genuinely blissfully happy just being in his company, just so at ease and heart soaring type of happy.

We can never be together. Even if I broke up with my boyfriend we could still never be together. My boyfriend would physically attack him and do serious damage if we ever got together. And possibly even to me too. I know this, he knows this too. Even if that wasn't an issue there's the main major problem in that it's his cousin and also lifelong friend and this man is too decent to ever do anything like that. My boyfriend is also my best friend and I do love him so much but mainly as a friend I think. Neither of us could ever hurt my boyfriend like that.

So I know we can never be together and it hurts so much. I am torn between feeling incredibly guilty over these feelings and I keep trying to brush them off as just a crush but deep down I feel it's more than just a crush. I feel so trapped in my own relationship and a hollow type of sadness when I think about how this is just the way things are and they can't be any different without causing a ****load of serious repercussions.

I will keep trying to make my own relationship work and we are making some progress with some of the issues in it, but even if resolved I don't know if that romantic spark will ever appear but hopefully it will because there is love there and maybe it will turn into a stronger romantic type of love if the major issues are fixed.

For now though my head is all over the place. I can't bear not being able to touch this man I feel so attracted to both mentally, emotionally and physically, but I also can't bear to tear myself completely away from him because I love being around him so much. It's like my heart needs him. Seeing him almost daily is inevitable right now anyways and not something I can really work around. I don't think these feelings are one-sided from me, a few good reasons for that that I can't explain here. Then I have the guilt of even having these feelings. I know everyone reading will think I'm a horrible person and that I should just leave my boyfriend instead of having these secret unspoken feelings for his cousin and good friend behind his back. Maybe that will happen someday, I have tried to in the past but am trapped feeling afraid of hurting him and also out of fear of the repercussions if I leave, but also because we are together so long and I do love him so much in some ways that maybe we can make it work.

I've been too ashamed tell a single soul about these feelings, not even one of my friends and obviously haven't told the man himself how I feel about him either. I can't remember if I've ever wrote about this before here, just really need to get it off my chest somewhere this instant and the 'things you want to say' thread seems the best place.

LegacyUser

Despite what you think I am not stupid. I am in a far better position that you realise. The truth is if you made better decisions in the past your life would be easier now.

Since the start of this year several things happend in your life. Rather that realise these were wake up calls to make some changes in your life you do nothing. You keep doing the same things and making the same bad mistakes.

I heard a few things recently and being honest where is the decent person I once knew. I stood up and defeneded you through a lot in the past but not any longer. The truth is that it is only a matter of time before the house of cards you have built comes falling down.
When this happens you only have yourself to blame.