Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people *MOD NOTE POST #1*

erica74

Vela wrote: »

Erica,

Your posts are heartbreaking. I am so sorry that you're hurting so much. I wish I could do something to help you. I just want you to know that it gets better. I promise you that.

For now, just get through and just keep getting through. Ask for help. Keep asking until you get it. Keep looking until you find it. And eventually, you will. Whether it's a friend, a therapist, a doctor, or even a support group. You just need an ally. You need someone to "get it" and tell you it's okay to feel how you're feeling. If you find that person, you'll be one step closer to finding yourself again.

You come across as such a strong-willed person and I have no doubt that you'll come out the other side of what you're dealing with right now. It'll never be completely okay. You'll never feel "completely fixed", but that's okay. You don't have to be. I don't think anyone really is in this life. Things will start to move again, time will stop making you feel like you're stuck in one place, and you'll find yourself moving forward again. And when that happens, you'll know that you can live with what happened to you. Not just survive. Live.

It doesn't feel like it now, but you'll get there and you'll get through this.

Oh I just saw your post now, thank you very much for your kind words.

SusieBlue

I see exactly what you are doing, you are jealous, spiteful and immature and you are sh*t stirring and meddling to try to drive a wedge between me and him. It used to upset me, I used to cry, but I'm training myself not to care. Because by not caring, you get no satisfaction. You don't get to cause an argument between us. So all your sh*t stirring goes unnoticed and you look like a loser.
I don't know why you have a vendetta against me, I don't deserve it. Relationships can be hard enough without this level of interference. But I won't let it show that it gets to me.
Just know that I see exactly what you are, andexactly what you're doing. And you are a horrible person.

Mozzeltoff

J I really hope you're on this site and I really hope you see this.

Last Monday you text him. You said you had a dream and he was in it. And you took that as a sign to text him, to let him know you still care..is that it? Because you think that you're the only one in the world that does? You're the friend he's missing in his life. Do you believe he's unhappy, trapped? That I am the dangerous ogre holding him hostage and that I control and manipulate him, is that what you think I do?

"You and Mozz have made your choices." We have made it and our choice was and STILL is quite clear. We didn't want a toxic whore like you in our lives. Look at the lies you told people about me. I was out shoving **** loads of cocaine up nose every other night of the week and going out cheating on him with anything that would look at me..you have got some imagination. You made snarky comments about my weight to other people even though you yourself were no supermodel. You drove wedge after wedge into every friendship you had with your twisted lies and your bull**** drama. None of your old group of friends wants you around and you are sadly mistaken if you think they do. You have caused more damage to people than you realise and you're not fooling anyone with your whole new skit on your "changed" ways. You've changed nothing about yourself. You're poison.

And one last thing, I still don't understand the obsession you have with him. He's with me the last six years. We're building towards a bright and happy future. We're soul mates, best friends, the love of each others lives and it's being like that since day one. You saw it back then, the sparks, the chemistry, you even told me it was going to happen. The planets aligned and you knew it. Maybe you didn't realise how everything got serious so quick. Maybe you realised he had no eyes for you but look, that's not the point. You're married now, you have a child, you have everything you wanted. **** it girl, you're married to someone who may as well be his twin. You should be content with yourself.

But there you are, texting him, about a dream you had, hoping that would open up a conversation which would lead to what? What were you hoping for? Him to confide in you, tell you how wrong we were to have expelled you from our lives, how he's actually miserable without you, is that what you're expecting? Get off the stage and cop on. Actually how would you feel if I started texting your husband all that useless waffle that you're texting OH? Would you be angry or would you actually give a flying ****?

I hate you and it's not that I feel threatened by you. I hate you because of what you are, what you have done and what you are trying to do. And I hate you because you're still trying, still trying to wiggle in. You are the worst kind of person, the ones that make you pity them, the victim but you're no victim and you know the game you play, you know you're the predator. And that's what you're doing, preying on OHs good nature and heart. Except he knows what you are. And he knows it's best leave things alone.

Get on with your life, maintain your marriage, raise your child. Stop texting OH about the remnants of dreams or ghosts inside your head. Get used to the fact that we don't or never want to have anything to ever do with you. Ever again.

wendydoll

I did it, now I just have to wait and see if you'll read it.

I actually don't care if you hate me for what it says. There's nothing I'm ashamed of saying.

Call me manipulative if you like. Call me whatever you wish. you've been cutting me off for long enough when I tried to voice me opinion, always ready to put your spin on things and make me seem like I'm in the wrong.

If you never talk to me again, realise you lost someone who would have moved mountains for you and I'll realise you never deserved me

erica74

I can't help but wonder what's going on?
Ma I blocked you ages ago as the message you sent me after being told your son sexually abused me was shocking but also not shocking. Imagine that, I wasn't that shocked that your response was basically meh.
I know you contacted your son and he then contacted my sister. I'm sure he tried to contact me too but I have always had him blocked. As if I want to hear from him. The thought makes me feel genuinely ill.
Dad, I don't know what to think. Do you know? You don't keep in touch as you're not big on phones but then at the same time I'm hoping you'll contact me. I'm also dreading contact from you.
What is going on down there?
Are you all communicating with each other about it all?
Sis, I'm thankful to you for letting the truth out but I also had a certain amount of security when it was still secret. I don't know if I would ever have told anyone about it all if you hadn't let it out. That's a scary thought too, what if I had just kept it secret forever. I'm going to hide behind you for a while. I'm so used to being the older sister even though I'm not but for now, I need to hide behind you. We are twins.

I feel so confused and anxious and isolated. Like I literally feel like a tumble dryer full of emotions. I want to be alone and I don't want to be alone. It's all quite overwhelming and I think I need this help.

waxmelts2000

John why did you treat me so badly, you have wasted nearly 4 years of my life. I gave you everything, me, my heart (my money) and you just walked all over me. I'm sitting here now knowing that I have made the right decision in dumping your cheating ass. I will be stronger for this and will not leave anyone treat me the way you treated me. You are a mean, selfish and aggressive bully and I deserve so much better. Get off your ass and get a job and stop sponging off the rest of us!
KARMA BABY. Val

robyntmorton

Dear trainer & guy who runs the cafe in the gym (whom I've never talked to before),

Thank you for the confidence booster today. It is very much appreciated, and good to see that my suffering is producing results that others can notice!

It pushes me to keep going!

Background:
Arrived for my session, walked through the reception and past cafe where my trainer and the cafe guy were talking.

Little while later I was in my usual corner, starting my stretching routine, when the trainer appeared to tell me that they had both noticed that it looked like I had lost a ton of weight. (Actual loss to date: 11kg)

It helps that in addition to my weight loss, my muscle tone is massively improved. The trainer said that she was slightly surprised, as many people appear, work for a few weeks, and are never seen again. I'm sticking with it though!

She then upped the weights of the kettle bells I was to work with (b!tch)

RhubarbCrumble

So last week I wondered if you were a bit off with me, but I thought maybe I was being paranoid. Today when I bumped into you, I stopped to talk and you literally walked away from me. How dare you! We've been friends for 25 years, but it's always been on your terms. We conveniently 'forgot' about what a bitch you were to me in school and I stayed friends with you. What a fool I was. We were only friends because I was always the one making the effort, contacting you, arranging to meet up (and how many times did you cancel).

Well no more. I've finally copped onto myself and you can go f**k yourself.

Your boyfriend always seemed to be off with me, but like a fool I gave him the benefit of the doubt, though he 'was just quiet'. Well I hope you and your thick as **** (oh but he is!) toyboy have a happy life, but don't ever try and get involved in mine again.

erica74

Well I can say this with complete and utter certainty, one thing you are not, and never have been and never will be, is thoughtful. You are self involved, I see it so clearly now.

wendydoll

It ended in a 3 line text message. A fecking text message! I don't know why I expected more from you, I guess I hoped the man I first met was still in there somewhere but he doesn't exist any more

erica74

What's going on in your life? I think everything is just continuing on as normal for you. You've made excuses, you've soothed things, you've made promises.
I'm 30 and I can't even remember my whole life because of you and the bits I can remember, I want to burn out of existence.

Do you think it's hard for you now? Dealing with all of this. Well, when I was a child, I had nothing, I had noone and I had you to deal with. You were fucking crazy. I know people will say I shouldn't say this and tell me it's not true but, you drove him to drink. If ever anyone needed a drink to cope with, it was him.

Lavinia

You are my friend. I know you want more, cause you told me, and when you ask me to meet for more than a drive I am afraid to do so. Cause I do not want to mess this up, and I am fine with this what is as is.
If circumstances were different then - maybe. But they are not....

x Purple Pawprints x

If I find out you left the gate open and those dogs got out because of one of your stupid little daily visits I'll go through you for a shortcut.




And you. You hit a big dog like him with your car and you'd know about it, you couldn't have not realised. You just left him there. How could you do that? If I ever find out who you are you'll be f**king sorry.

RhubarbCrumble

You know how anxious and terrified I am at the moment. You know what I've been going through for the past six weeks. A bit of bloody support would be nice, not saying to me "What do you want me to do about it?".
You've got no problem running after your Mammy though every time she has a problem, every time the phone rings and she wants you to do something else for her. She has three other children too. What is it always you that goes running? Why do you always have to be a martyr?
Nice to see which of us is the priority in your life

Bambi985

I'll never forget that last week. That night in the flat on my own, waiting for you to come home. That dreaded feeling, that dreaded knowing. The gap of contact from you, then "I'm just leaving" followed by radio silence, and then drunken you stumbling in before midnight. A mess of booze and stale fags and excuses.

I knew it was over a thousand times before this but that night, I finally knew. I knew I had lost you to this. I knew that I no longer knew you. I knew that I'd never trust you again. I knew that love was so small and so powerless in the face of this thing. That sometimes love is simply not enough.

It's been a month of hell. Highs and lows that I've never known, fine one minute, choking back tears the next. Dark mornings that have scared me off my sleep. I'm very much not ok. I know you are probably worse. But I suppose when you're walking through hell, you just keep on walking. What other choice is there?

I genuinely hope that you find a way to get well.

Me again,


I tried to ring you yesterday but no joy. Are you well? I love you. Sometimes it gets lonely inside of me and it's then that I miss you the most. You should be consigned to that box with the "people who don't talk to you anymore" label but instead I carry you around. There was a person I used to chat to quite a bit. Then they just stopped. Why does that happen? Why do people pour all of themselves in to my life, share little bits and pieces with me and then retreat? Am I so strange? You and I were close for a long time and I just can't let go. I'm always remembering. And my dreams. They never stop.
Pick up the phone sometime maybe.


Px

Madam Oblong

First you love bombed me to get into my life and left it just as suddenly and easily. When I was no longer useful, you dropped me for some people you could use better. It's a sh1tty thing to do. I hope someday you realise how you utilise people.

tracey turnblad

Please let me finish my sentence!!!! Grrrrrrr

erica74

I wish the thoughts would disappear. I wish I could have pleasant dreams. I wish I didn't feel like I was fighting life. This is a struggle. It's such a struggle. And I'm waiting for the time when I finally feel at ease in my body. I feel disgusting from the inside out.
And then I catch myself laughing and feeling happy living my life and I think maybe I'm grand? But then it all comes flooding back and I remember that no, this is it for me.

sullivlo

O,

I know you miss her. We all do. None more so than me. Especially on the 1st. But you need to stop posting on her Facebook. We get it. You miss her. But looking back on her Facebook you never seemed to care when she was alive, so tone down the posts. Aside from anything else it reminds me that she's gone, and I cry every time.

C,

Some things happening right now that I wish I could tell you all about. Some good, some not, some downright cray cray. I'm learning to let me be happy though. So far it's working.

F,

Want to tell you the good things too. Just need to figure out how.

C,

I'm forever in your debt. Confused beyond belief, but going with the flow because so far, so good.

DunnoKidz

I haven't heard from you in how long?
What exactly is it you want?

EDIT: lol, I was wrong you continually surprise me!

sunshine and showers

Sometimes you act like a complete fúcking child. There was no need for a fight on this. I didn't do anything wrong, you seem to just want to one up me at time. Fúcks sake.

dearg lady

I like you. I really like you. I'm scared of getting hurt cos I have no idea how you feel about me, and haven't felt this way about anyone in a very long time.

waxmelts2000

Today would have been my babies 2nd birthday even though I never met you I loved you from the minute I knew I was pregnant...

erica74

I think there's a reason why the universe brought us together as sisters. The universe knew we would need each other. And we do need each other. Like you say, we are like a jigsaw.
What would my life have been like without you as a sister and me on my own with our brother? What would our lives have been like if we had no brother and it was just us? Then imagine if we also didn't have our mother? Hmmm.

wendydoll

Well that was the biggest cop out of you ever. I don't know why I expected more from you. You are the expert at playing the victim. And I've finally took the blinkers off.

Stay away if you thing that will help, you know what's best for me.

I hope it's all worth it in the end. Guess Kay was right when she said we wouldn't be friends in 6 months time. She just a little off. It ended at the 4 month mark. If I had known this is how it was going to end I would have stayed clear of you from the get go

milli milli

Tired of being best friends with both of ye and then getting ditched when your respective partners came along. Thought this only happened to teenagers but it doesn't unfortunately.
Tired of being the one who seems to care more. Feeling really foolish for crying about the relationships that have never been the same when I wonder if both of ye ever miss me or what we had.

Cutie18Ireland

To YOU,

**** you and **** your ****ing MOTHER. I know I have done whats best for your child who you no longer give a **** about. Hes been gone a year now and you still havent got your act together so **** off

Sincerely,
Out of ****s to give!!

x Purple Pawprints x

Seeing you was very strange, knowing that we were once so in love with each other, and knowing that you still have feelings for me. I wasn't expecting it. Doesn't feel like almost five years since we broke up.

Keisha07

We haven't always seen eye to eye but I am immensely proud of you. You found the courage to leave him and you have built a home and life for yourself and the kids. You deserve every good thing in life